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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On October 01 2014 21:49 puppykiller wrote:So last night I ended up having sex with this girl: + Show Spoiler +On September 25 2014 08:02 puppykiller wrote:
If you are feeling sexual tension with someone can you assume they feel it to? Today during spanish class I felt really attracted to this girl I sit by so I asked her to hang out with me after class and then we ended up making out. I just felt really into her and assumed that she felt the same,but I wonder if that is always a rule of thumb or if I should be gauging if they are into me in some other way than just analyzing my own emotions. It's been a while since I fucked someone so I woulda thought I would have gotten off really easily but it was really really hard. I assumed the last time I had sex before this it was so hard because I didn't have any chemistry but even this time with what seemed like a fair amount it was difficult. Why can't I jizz... isn't sex supposed to be better than this???
normal
took 3-4 attempts after 2+y break from sex last time combined with nofap
just keep going for it it fixes itself eventually, it's no big deal
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On October 02 2014 14:03 eviltomahawk wrote:
After a few dead-end conversations and a ton of bots on Tinder, I finally met someone who could be decent. She's cute, we go to the same university, she takes the first initiative to message me, and she at least keeps the conversation going. We messaged a lot soon transitioned to texting.
However, she did mention in a text that her ex bf is spreading a rumor that she cheated on him. I got curious and decided to do some facebook stalking because, fuck it, I'm really good at creeping on the internet. I found her ex, and in addition to looking terrifyingly jacked, his latest post from last weekend mentioned how she wanted to get back with him while leading on another guy (probably an older ex) just so that she can eventually break up with new ex to get back with old ex. And it looks like she was dating old ex for several years up until a couple weeks before dating new ex earlier this year.
Anyways, I dunno if it's wise for me to jump waist-deep into this drama. I'm already meeting her for the first time over dinner tomorrow because I really want to get a chicken salad sandwich at this restaurant, but I'm already seeing red flags.
Woah
fuck this unless you like drama?
Id make her your fuckbuddy tho if shes up for it 
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how would you make someone, the fuckbuddy of someone else? 'cause i doubt you're cupid.
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On October 02 2014 16:50 FanaticCZ wrote:Show nested quote +On September 28 2014 05:02 LemOn wrote:On September 28 2014 02:36 FanaticCZ wrote:
Hey guys, interested in your opinions on this.
I broke up with a girl ive spent almost three years with last september. Since then i was really unable to be happy because I couldnt find anyone to talk to on a daily basis etc, which is pretty much something i need. Yep i have a pretty healthy amount of good friends but all of em are usually pretty busy and theyre not the type of people id like to talk to everyday and spend time with them. Then in May ive started to get close with one of my friends. She was a classmate of my ex but theres honestly no connection with that, its just how i know her and we started to talk a lot everyday but from what I know she was never really interested in dating me and people around her never really liked me. But nonetheless we eventually managed to built a really strong relationship and started dating. That was in August and since then its a little problematic and Im not really sure what to do.
First problem is that shes pretty busy all the time and we dont really spend a lot of time together besides me driving her home sometimes or visiting her late in the night in her town. And then after a month she recently said that shes still waiting to get the same feelings i have for her but it doesnt seem to come, but when were together its quite obvious that she must have strong feelings for me + were still in touch pretty much all the time, everyday. She claims that shes weird and that shes paranoid of losing loved ones (because shes lost some family members in the last year) etc...
What I think is that one of the problems is that we havent really spent a lot of time together yet as well as no sex yet and I refuse to give this up because it started without physical attraction which makes me love that girl a lot more. But it gets me very frustrated to hear that she might not be able to be with me, one day and then that she wants to be with me so much the other day and introduces me to her parents. What u guys think? Should i prove to her that i mean it really seriously like ive been doing it so far or that shes just confused about her feelings etc? Or sth else?
(Im 22 and shes 19 btw) Looks like you are still hurt and have low confidence from last time man. I'd be in touch a lot less or stop completely, and just schedule some fun time together in person. Definitely don't try to prove anything to her and keep your options open - I mean last girl spent 3 years with you you must be a good guy right why cling to this one girl, how'd she deserve so much of your devotion when it doesn't seem she's reciprocating much? What she says sounds like typical stuff that just means she's not that into you right now, I wouldn't bring any mentions of future together or defining the relationship etc. up at all - how'd that come up anyway in the first place? Just have fun with her and relax  Show nested quote +On September 28 2014 06:25 CosmicSpiral wrote:On September 28 2014 02:36 FanaticCZ wrote:
Hey guys, interested in your opinions on this.
I broke up with a girl ive spent almost three years with last september. Since then i was really unable to be happy because I couldnt find anyone to talk to on a daily basis etc, which is pretty much something i need. Yep i have a pretty healthy amount of good friends but all of em are usually pretty busy and they're not the type of people id like to talk to everyday and spend time with them. Then in May ive started to get close with one of my friends. She was a classmate of my ex but theres honestly no connection with that, its just how i know her and we started to talk a lot everyday but from what I know she was never really interested in dating me and people around her never really liked me. But nonetheless we eventually managed to built a really strong relationship and started dating. That was in August and since then its a little problematic and Im not really sure what to do.
First problem is that shes pretty busy all the time and we dont really spend a lot of time together besides me driving her home sometimes or visiting her late in the night in her town. And then after a month she recently said that shes still waiting to get the same feelings i have for her but it doesnt seem to come, but when were together its quite obvious that she must have strong feelings for me + were still in touch pretty much all the time, everyday. She claims that shes weird and that shes paranoid of losing loved ones (because shes lost some family members in the last year) etc...
What I think is that one of the problems is that we havent really spent a lot of time together yet as well as no sex yet and I refuse to give this up because it started without physical attraction which makes me love that girl a lot more. But it gets me very frustrated to hear that she might not be able to be with me, one day and then that she wants to be with me so much the other day and introduces me to her parents. What u guys think? Should i prove to her that i mean it really seriously like ive been doing it so far or that shes just confused about her feelings etc? Or sth else?
(Im 22 and shes 19 btw) You can't control someone's feelings. If she doesn't have strong feelings, she doesn't have strong feelings. You have nothing to prove to her. A relationship that doesn't start from physical attraction is neither better nor worse than one that does. Don't hypnotize yourself into thinking she's this special snowflake because of the former. Release yourself from putting expectations on the outcome. Focus on having an enjoyable time over building towards some ambiguous future that may or may not happen. You can deal with those obstacles as they appear. Well in the end I went to talk to her, because few days ago she started to act differently from how she acted for those four months we were in touch. She said that even tho she loves me (as an important and close person in her life), she can't get her feelings on the same level as mine, no matter how hard shes trying and that she started this between us because she wanted it and thought she would eventually share the same feelings with me. But it didnt come and shes apparently not that interested in seeing me very often as well. So we agreed upon it going nowhere. I guess this is the right thing to do, but i feel like shit now cuz its pretty much a second heartbreak in a row without any significant time of being happy in between... So here goes another fuc*ed up autumn...
It was definitly for the best you got it resolved and it is completely okay to be bummed, but when that is said I think you should seriously consider how much of your happines relies on others if this is going to destroy your entire autumn. There is a lot of truth to the saying that you need to be happy alone before you can be happy together with someone.
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United States15275 Posts
On October 02 2014 16:50 FanaticCZ wrote:
Well in the end I went to talk to her, because few days ago she started to act differently from how she acted for those four months we were in touch. She said that even tho she loves me (as an important and close person in her life), she can't get her feelings on the same level as mine, no matter how hard shes trying and that she started this between us because she wanted it and thought she would eventually share the same feelings with me. But it didn't come and shes apparently not that interested in seeing me very often as well. So we agreed upon it going nowhere. I guess this is the right thing to do, but i feel like shit now cuz its pretty much a second heartbreak in a row without any significant time of being happy in between... So here goes another fuc*ed up autumn...
Don't tie your happiness to relationships status. That is a dead-end road that will turn you into a toxic pit of need.
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On October 02 2014 07:23 LostWraithSC wrote:I want more detail than that Give us the play by play, starting from the pick up line.
Kids, I'm going to tell you an incredible story, the story of how I met your mother.
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Northern Ireland23783 Posts
I really doubt that even the most daring of networks would make a show in that style about SixStrings quest for love lol.
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On October 03 2014 07:49 Impervious wrote:Show nested quote +On October 02 2014 07:23 LostWraithSC wrote:On October 02 2014 06:20 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
How did you two meet? I want more detail than that Give us the play by play, starting from the pick up line. Kids, I'm going to tell you an incredible story, the story of how I met your mothers.
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On October 02 2014 14:03 eviltomahawk wrote:
After a few dead-end conversations and a ton of bots on Tinder, I finally met someone who could be decent. She's cute, we go to the same university, she takes the first initiative to message me, and she at least keeps the conversation going. We messaged a lot soon transitioned to texting.
However, she did mention in a text that her ex bf is spreading a rumor that she cheated on him. I got curious and decided to do some facebook stalking because, fuck it, I'm really good at creeping on the internet. I found her ex, and in addition to looking terrifyingly jacked, his latest post from last weekend mentioned how she wanted to get back with him while leading on another guy (probably an older ex) just so that she can eventually break up with new ex to get back with old ex. And it looks like she was dating old ex for several years up until a couple weeks before dating new ex earlier this year.
Anyways, I dunno if it's wise for me to jump waist-deep into this drama. I'm already meeting her for the first time over dinner tomorrow because I really want to get a chicken salad sandwich at this restaurant, but I'm already seeing red flags.
"terrifyingly jacked." he gon beat you up
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On October 02 2014 14:03 eviltomahawk wrote:
After a few dead-end conversations and a ton of bots on Tinder, I finally met someone who could be decent. She's cute, we go to the same university, she takes the first initiative to message me, and she at least keeps the conversation going. We messaged a lot soon transitioned to texting.
However, she did mention in a text that her ex bf is spreading a rumor that she cheated on him. I got curious and decided to do some facebook stalking because, fuck it, I'm really good at creeping on the internet. I found her ex, and in addition to looking terrifyingly jacked, his latest post from last weekend mentioned how she wanted to get back with him while leading on another guy (probably an older ex) just so that she can eventually break up with new ex to get back with old ex. And it looks like she was dating old ex for several years up until a couple weeks before dating new ex earlier this year.
Anyways, I dunno if it's wise for me to jump waist-deep into this drama. I'm already meeting her for the first time over dinner tomorrow because I really want to get a chicken salad sandwich at this restaurant, but I'm already seeing red flags.
I did it all for the nookie chicken salad sandwich...
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United States15275 Posts
Extremely jacked dudes are actually easy to intimidate.
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On October 03 2014 13:35 CosmicSpiral wrote:
Extremely jacked dudes are actually easy to intimidate.
Why? And how?
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United States15275 Posts
On October 03 2014 13:51 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On October 03 2014 13:35 CosmicSpiral wrote:
Extremely jacked dudes are actually easy to intimidate. Why? And how?
Many guys who extensively work out have a mindset like a beautiful woman: they are used to being propped up by external validation and subsequently develop an identity around it. They get used to people supplicating them and being intimidated by their physical appearance.
All you have to do to hold your frame and be friendly. Depending on the guy's personality, it will produce two types of reactions:
A) He's a nice person who enjoys feeling good emotions. He'll respond well and be friendly just like any other person. You might even make a new friend.
B) He's self-aggrandizing and is used to having others kowtow to him. While a beautiful girl will usually get attracted to you (most are actually sweet and easy to talk to, which is nice), his brain runs into a problem. On the one hand he's a typical human being and will be "emotionally social": he'll want to interact with you because you're happy and people feed off that. On the other hand, he'll be acutely aware that you're not treating him in a special way or reacting to his perceived superiority. That will provoke a defensive, belligerent attitude...except he wants the good emotions too. But he can't incite good emotions in himself if he punches you in the face since he'll lose that catalyst. Basically his brain will go through cognitive dissonance. Sometimes it will shut down him completely and he'll get very meek and disgruntled. Other times he'll get mad but can't find a reasonable outlet, so he'll sit around steamed.
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On October 03 2014 14:27 CosmicSpiral wrote:Show nested quote +On October 03 2014 13:51 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On October 03 2014 13:35 CosmicSpiral wrote:
Extremely jacked dudes are actually easy to intimidate. Why? And how? Many guys who extensively work out have a mindset like a beautiful woman: they are used to being propped up by external validation and subsequently develop an identity around it. They get used to people supplicating them and being intimidated by their physical appearance. All you have to do to hold your frame and be friendly. Depending on the guy's personality, it will produce two types of reactions: A) He's a nice person who enjoys feeling good emotions. He'll respond well and be friendly just like any other person. You might even make a new friend. B) He's self-aggrandizing and is used to having others kowtow to him. While a beautiful girl will usually get attracted to you (most are actually sweet and easy to talk to, which is nice), his brain runs into a problem. On the one hand he's a typical human being and will be "emotionally social": he'll want to interact with you because you're happy and people feed off that. On the other hand, he'll be acutely aware that you're not treating him in a special way or reacting to his perceived superiority. That will provoke a defensive, belligerent attitude...except he wants the good emotions too. But he can't incite good emotions in himself if he punches you in the face since he'll lose that catalyst. Basically his brain will go through cognitive dissonance. Sometimes it will shut down him completely and he'll get very meek and disgruntled. Other times he'll get mad but can't find a reasonable outlet, so he'll sit around steamed.
ROFL this is too true.
Though sometimes this happens to me too whenever I get an ego about something 
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On October 02 2014 06:20 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
How did you two meet?
I was just sitting by the river, when she came by and asked me if she could stay a while and listen.
Later that day we had our first time together, which was super awkward for some reason. I even faked an orgasm to get it over with.
Fast forward a couple of weeks, the sex is amazing, we spend a whole lot of time together and I can't get enough of her.
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My engagement ended about 3, almost 4 months ago and I'm moving on and living my life. Got a great job, great new friends, things are looking up. All of my relationships have been started online, so I really want to meet someone face to face. Sad part is I'm so bad at making small talk, especially with random women. So many cute girls I pass every single day, I just never feel like making the effort.
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Well either u step up or u die alone!
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Mexico2170 Posts
Well i had a similar problem although I'm 19 years old so I hope this helps.
Talking face to face is more difficult but its very similar to talking online. The thing with face to face is that there are more variables: other people/her bus arriving, ankward silence and body language.
In the first one there's nothing you can do so don't think about it.
If she is a stranger there are two ways: 1.- use an excuse to talk to her and 2: just talk directly "Hi I'm john what's your name". The second one is better. In fact with the second one you can use the excuse after presenting yourself to form a conversation and reduce anwkard silence for example: " Hi I'm john what's your name - nice name, may I ask where did you get that coffee? - oh I haven't tried it before, is it any good?" From then is pretty much the same as talking online, you just have to think while you're talking what are you going to say when the silence comes.
I guess you could look for "guides" of small talking on the internet, but the best thing you can do is to actually try it. Just talk to people, anyone and practice. If a girl you want to know doesn't want to talk, that's too bad but there will be someone.
You just have to do it, don't over think it, just do it. You've done it online, its almost the same irl.
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Northern Ireland23783 Posts
On October 07 2014 02:57 SixStrings wrote:I was just sitting by the river, when she came by and asked me if she could stay a while and listen. Later that day we had our first time together, which was super awkward for some reason. I even faked an orgasm to get it over with. Fast forward a couple of weeks, the sex is amazing, we spend a whole lot of time together and I can't get enough of her.
Are you dating Deckard Cain?
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On October 07 2014 17:29 Wombat_NI wrote:Show nested quote +On October 07 2014 02:57 SixStrings wrote:On October 02 2014 06:20 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
How did you two meet? I was just sitting by the river, when she came by and asked me if she could stay a while and listen. Later that day we had our first time together, which was super awkward for some reason. I even faked an orgasm to get it over with. Fast forward a couple of weeks, the sex is amazing, we spend a whole lot of time together and I can't get enough of her. Are you dating Deckard Cain?
No, but that was intentional.
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EPT
