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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
Shotcoder
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States2316 Posts
September 30 2014 06:03 GMT
#11021
Buddy at work gave me the number of one of his friends. Told me I should hit her up even though she's 9 years older than me(24 and 33). First off, I feel weird talking to someone I've never met. Second We talked a decent amount the first day, getting to know each other like about work and what we do and whereabouts we live, but I did get her to agree to go out in the near future. But Idk if I'm playing it out right because we don't know each other at all. I kinda put the ball in her court telling her to let me know when she's free and have been kinda doing my own thing since then. My buddy tells me I'm being hesitant and not going for it hard enough...It's literally been a week I've had her number.

To be fair I am but I've kept in touch with her and she texts me first most of the time so I honestly don't see the problem, I just wanted opinions.
Shotcoder - C+ BW Terran, Gold LoL(ADC Main)
evilfatsh1t
Profile Joined October 2010
Australia8929 Posts
September 30 2014 06:53 GMT
#11022
maybe your buddy gave you her number knowing it would be a sure thing for you?
in which case i think you are probably free to pursue her much more directly
CosmicSpiral
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States15275 Posts
September 30 2014 16:06 GMT
#11023
Of course you're being hesitant. The goofiness of the situation is not exactly endearing.
WriterWovon man nicht sprechen kann, darüber muß man schweigen.
puppykiller
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States3137 Posts
October 01 2014 12:49 GMT
#11024
So last night I ended up having sex with this girl:

+ Show Spoiler +
On September 25 2014 08:02 puppykiller wrote:
If you are feeling sexual tension with someone can you assume they feel it to? Today during spanish class I felt really attracted to this girl I sit by so I asked her to hang out with me after class and then we ended up making out. I just felt really into her and assumed that she felt the same,but I wonder if that is always a rule of thumb or if I should be gauging if they are into me in some other way than just analyzing my own emotions.



It's been a while since I fucked someone so I woulda thought I would have gotten off really easily but it was really really hard. I assumed the last time I had sex before this it was so hard because I didn't have any chemistry but even this time with what seemed like a fair amount it was difficult. Why can't I jizz... isn't sex supposed to be better than this???
Why would I play sctoo when I can play BW?
evilfatsh1t
Profile Joined October 2010
Australia8929 Posts
October 01 2014 13:42 GMT
#11025
1. youre more emotional than you thought and you actually need to love the girl to enjoy sex more
2. she laid there like a starfish and probably didnt make it seem like she was enjoying herself (to me personally whether or not she is enjoying it makes a huge difference on how much i enjoy it)
3. you last forever, which is a good thing in some ways, except normally youd still enjoy getting to the end which doesnt seem to be the case for you
SixStrings
Profile Blog Joined August 2013
Germany2046 Posts
October 01 2014 14:29 GMT
#11026
I have a girlfriend now.
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland27463 Posts
October 01 2014 15:51 GMT
#11027
Succinct, to the point yet leaving many questions unanswered. I just hope she doesn't tame the SixStrings edge that so many on TL love
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
TL+ Member
Epishade
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
United States2267 Posts
October 01 2014 17:16 GMT
#11028
On October 01 2014 23:29 SixStrings wrote:
I have a girlfriend now.

Congrats. When's the wedding?
Pinhead Larry in the streets, Dirty Dan in the sheets.
LeeDawg
Profile Joined April 2012
United States1306 Posts
October 01 2014 17:24 GMT
#11029
On October 01 2014 23:29 SixStrings wrote:
I have a girlfriend now.


she's married, isn't she?
:-)
Firebolt145
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Lalalaland34507 Posts
October 01 2014 18:45 GMT
#11030
Guys no need for the trolling
Moderator
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland27463 Posts
October 01 2014 18:54 GMT
#11031
I wasn't trolling, I'm a fan of SixStrings as a poster especially in this thread
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
TL+ Member
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3292 Posts
October 01 2014 21:20 GMT
#11032
How did you two meet?
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
LostWraithSC
Profile Joined February 2008
United States111 Posts
October 01 2014 22:23 GMT
#11033
On October 02 2014 06:20 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
How did you two meet?

I want more detail than that Give us the play by play, starting from the pick up line.
It is a Kingdom of Conscience, or nothing.
GreenHorizons
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
United States24384 Posts
October 01 2014 22:32 GMT
#11034
On October 01 2014 22:42 evilfatsh1t wrote:
1. youre more emotional than you thought and you actually need to love the girl to enjoy sex more
2. she laid there like a starfish and probably didnt make it seem like she was enjoying herself (to me personally whether or not she is enjoying it makes a huge difference on how much i enjoy it)
3. you last forever, which is a good thing in some ways, except normally youd still enjoy getting to the end which doesnt seem to be the case for you


*4 You've been beating your meat like it stole your car since the last time and without all the porn and your patented lap salute you are just not quite getting where you're going.
"People like to look at history and think 'If that was me back then, I would have...' We're living through history, and the truth is, whatever you are doing now is probably what you would have done then" "Scratch a Liberal..."
Yoz
Profile Joined August 2010
Australia357 Posts
October 02 2014 01:31 GMT
#11035
On October 01 2014 21:49 puppykiller wrote:
It's been a while since I fucked someone so I woulda thought I would have gotten off really easily but it was really really hard. I assumed the last time I had sex before this it was so hard because I didn't have any chemistry but even this time with what seemed like a fair amount it was difficult. Why can't I jizz... isn't sex supposed to be better than this???


Sounds like you might have been nervous?
puppykiller
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States3137 Posts
October 02 2014 03:17 GMT
#11036
Its hard to say, the girl was really into it except when for shits and giggles I tried to get her to watch a danny devito interview on youtube while I fucked her (no troll it was hillarious but really confusing to her). Idk she's a cool girl but not someone I felt any emotional attatchment to.

I do fap to porn 1 or 2 times a day so maybe I have to lay off that shit.
Why would I play sctoo when I can play BW?
eviltomahawk
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States11135 Posts
October 02 2014 05:03 GMT
#11037
After a few dead-end conversations and a ton of bots on Tinder, I finally met someone who could be decent. She's cute, we go to the same university, she takes the first initiative to message me, and she at least keeps the conversation going. We messaged a lot soon transitioned to texting.

However, she did mention in a text that her ex bf is spreading a rumor that she cheated on him. I got curious and decided to do some facebook stalking because, fuck it, I'm really good at creeping on the internet. I found her ex, and in addition to looking terrifyingly jacked, his latest post from last weekend mentioned how she wanted to get back with him while leading on another guy (probably an older ex) just so that she can eventually break up with new ex to get back with old ex. And it looks like she was dating old ex for several years up until a couple weeks before dating new ex earlier this year.

Anyways, I dunno if it's wise for me to jump waist-deep into this drama. I'm already meeting her for the first time over dinner tomorrow because I really want to get a chicken salad sandwich at this restaurant, but I'm already seeing red flags.
ㅇㅅㅌㅅ
CosmicSpiral
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States15275 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-10-02 05:48:00
October 02 2014 05:08 GMT
#11038
Remember you can still express attraction and be a cool guy while standing by your principles. In the best case scenario (which you shouldn't expect), you might be the catalyst that reserves all that junk happening in her life. In the worst case scenario, she continues wallowing in her problems and your meetup goes nowhere. There is no reason you can't be friends. You can be invested in her well-being without being invested in whether your relationship becomes romantic or not.
WriterWovon man nicht sprechen kann, darüber muß man schweigen.
FanaticCZ
Profile Joined December 2011
Czech Republic287 Posts
October 02 2014 07:50 GMT
#11039
On September 28 2014 05:02 LemOn wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 28 2014 02:36 FanaticCZ wrote:
Hey guys, interested in your opinions on this.

I broke up with a girl ive spent almost three years with last september. Since then i was really unable to be happy because I couldnt find anyone to talk to on a daily basis etc, which is pretty much something i need. Yep i have a pretty healthy amount of good friends but all of em are usually pretty busy and theyre not the type of people id like to talk to everyday and spend time with them. Then in May ive started to get close with one of my friends. She was a classmate of my ex but theres honestly no connection with that, its just how i know her and we started to talk a lot everyday but from what I know she was never really interested in dating me and people around her never really liked me. But nonetheless we eventually managed to built a really strong relationship and started dating. That was in August and since then its a little problematic and Im not really sure what to do.

First problem is that shes pretty busy all the time and we dont really spend a lot of time together besides me driving her home sometimes or visiting her late in the night in her town. And then after a month she recently said that shes still waiting to get the same feelings i have for her but it doesnt seem to come, but when were together its quite obvious that she must have strong feelings for me + were still in touch pretty much all the time, everyday. She claims that shes weird and that shes paranoid of losing loved ones (because shes lost some family members in the last year) etc...

What I think is that one of the problems is that we havent really spent a lot of time together yet as well as no sex yet and I refuse to give this up because it started without physical attraction which makes me love that girl a lot more. But it gets me very frustrated to hear that she might not be able to be with me, one day and then that she wants to be with me so much the other day and introduces me to her parents. What u guys think? Should i prove to her that i mean it really seriously like ive been doing it so far or that shes just confused about her feelings etc? Or sth else?

(Im 22 and shes 19 btw)

Looks like you are still hurt and have low confidence from last time man.
I'd be in touch a lot less or stop completely, and just schedule some fun time together in person. Definitely don't try to prove anything to her and keep your options open - I mean last girl spent 3 years with you you must be a good guy right why cling to this one girl, how'd she deserve so much of your devotion when it doesn't seem she's reciprocating much?

What she says sounds like typical stuff that just means she's not that into you right now, I wouldn't bring any mentions of future together or defining the relationship etc. up at all - how'd that come up anyway in the first place? Just have fun with her and relax


On September 28 2014 06:25 CosmicSpiral wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 28 2014 02:36 FanaticCZ wrote:
Hey guys, interested in your opinions on this.

I broke up with a girl ive spent almost three years with last september. Since then i was really unable to be happy because I couldnt find anyone to talk to on a daily basis etc, which is pretty much something i need. Yep i have a pretty healthy amount of good friends but all of em are usually pretty busy and they're not the type of people id like to talk to everyday and spend time with them. Then in May ive started to get close with one of my friends. She was a classmate of my ex but theres honestly no connection with that, its just how i know her and we started to talk a lot everyday but from what I know she was never really interested in dating me and people around her never really liked me. But nonetheless we eventually managed to built a really strong relationship and started dating. That was in August and since then its a little problematic and Im not really sure what to do.

First problem is that shes pretty busy all the time and we dont really spend a lot of time together besides me driving her home sometimes or visiting her late in the night in her town. And then after a month she recently said that shes still waiting to get the same feelings i have for her but it doesnt seem to come, but when were together its quite obvious that she must have strong feelings for me + were still in touch pretty much all the time, everyday. She claims that shes weird and that shes paranoid of losing loved ones (because shes lost some family members in the last year) etc...

What I think is that one of the problems is that we havent really spent a lot of time together yet as well as no sex yet and I refuse to give this up because it started without physical attraction which makes me love that girl a lot more. But it gets me very frustrated to hear that she might not be able to be with me, one day and then that she wants to be with me so much the other day and introduces me to her parents. What u guys think? Should i prove to her that i mean it really seriously like ive been doing it so far or that shes just confused about her feelings etc? Or sth else?

(Im 22 and shes 19 btw)


You can't control someone's feelings. If she doesn't have strong feelings, she doesn't have strong feelings.

You have nothing to prove to her.

A relationship that doesn't start from physical attraction is neither better nor worse than one that does. Don't hypnotize yourself into thinking she's this special snowflake because of the former.

Release yourself from putting expectations on the outcome. Focus on having an enjoyable time over building towards some ambiguous future that may or may not happen. You can deal with those obstacles as they appear.


Well in the end I went to talk to her, because few days ago she started to act differently from how she acted for those four months we were in touch. She said that even tho she loves me (as an important and close person in her life), she can't get her feelings on the same level as mine, no matter how hard shes trying and that she started this between us because she wanted it and thought she would eventually share the same feelings with me. But it didnt come and shes apparently not that interested in seeing me very often as well. So we agreed upon it going nowhere. I guess this is the right thing to do, but i feel like shit now cuz its pretty much a second heartbreak in a row without any significant time of being happy in between... So here goes another fuc*ed up autumn...
INnoVation is the GOAT!
Killmouse
Profile Joined August 2010
Austria5700 Posts
October 02 2014 08:22 GMT
#11040
On October 02 2014 12:17 puppykiller wrote:
Its hard to say, the girl was really into it except when for shits and giggles I tried to get her to watch a danny devito interview on youtube while I fucked her (no troll it was hillarious but really confusing to her). Idk she's a cool girl but not someone I felt any emotional attatchment to.

I do fap to porn 1 or 2 times a day so maybe I have to lay off that shit.

i know that feeling man! having hard time to jizz aswell T.T

your life sounds like the movie Don Jon haha, if u havnt watched it go watch it
yo
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