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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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c0ldfusion
United States8293 Posts
On February 07 2014 04:18 DoctorHelvetica wrote: oh, i mean, it's fine to ask and express your intentions but not okay to engage in any physical action without enthusiastic consent haha that's what I was thinking. It sounded really rapey to me the way he phrased it originally. | ||
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Snotling
Germany885 Posts
On February 07 2014 04:29 c0ldfusion wrote: haha that's what I was thinking. It sounded really rapey to me the way he phrased it originally. Just wait till some wannabe pua tells you why it's ok :D | ||
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chadissilent
Canada1187 Posts
On February 07 2014 04:45 Snotling wrote: Just waitait till some wannabe pua tells you why it's ok :D 50 No's and a Yes still means yes. | ||
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DoctorHelvetica
United States15034 Posts
no it doesn't and that's vile to imply otherwise | ||
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chadissilent
Canada1187 Posts
On February 07 2014 04:57 DoctorHelvetica wrote: no it doesn't and that's vile to imply otherwise It's a verbal contract expressing consent. | ||
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DoctorHelvetica
United States15034 Posts
On February 07 2014 05:00 chadissilent wrote: It's a verbal contract expressing consent. sounds like pressure and coercion, there's no reason to keep pestering someone who says no 50 times until they say yes out of fear or guilt (which has happened to a few girls i know) unless their consent doesn't really matter to you in the first place. | ||
dravernor
Netherlands6192 Posts
On February 07 2014 05:04 DoctorHelvetica wrote: sounds like pressure and coercion, there's no reason to keep pestering someone who says no 50 times until they say yes out of fear or guilt (which has happened to a few girls i know) unless their consent doesn't really matter to you in the first place. ^ This. 50 nopes and one yes are a pretty poor indication, and does sound rather rapey. If a girl says no, you shouldn't have to try another 50 times to get a yes. | ||
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QuanticHawk
United States32157 Posts
![[image loading]](http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view7/3376193/daniel-bryan-yes-yes-yes-o.gif) it is probably rape. hth | ||
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asymptotech
United States295 Posts
If you (the proverbial you, not the quote since I don't mean for it to be out of context) don't think the exact opposite, where 1 no outweighs 50 yes's, you have absolutely no respect for the person you are with. | ||
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Ghostcom
Denmark4783 Posts
On February 07 2014 04:29 c0ldfusion wrote: haha that's what I was thinking. It sounded really rapey to me the way he phrased it originally. That you guys jumped straight to the conclusion that I was promoting rape from that context speaks more about you than me. | ||
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QuanticHawk
United States32157 Posts
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gedatsu
1286 Posts
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Najda
United States3765 Posts
On February 07 2014 06:55 QuanticHawk wrote: ...that were not rapists? The discussion was about asking a girl out and receiving mixed signals, it was quite a leap to go from that to rape. In the context what he said was correct, that a perceived no doesn't always mean no and it's better to try your luck and ask her out anyway. | ||
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Chocolate
United States2350 Posts
On February 07 2014 07:18 Najda wrote: The discussion was about asking a girl out and receiving mixed signals, it was quite a leap to go from that to rape. In the context what he said was correct, that a perceived no doesn't always mean no and it's better to try your luck and ask her out anyway. Yeah for real I don't think convo is about taking a girl to your apartment and pressuring her into sex. If you can't tell if someone likes you or not, asking her out is not "rapey" BTW rapey is getting up there with creepy (because now everything is rape, wtf) in terms of cliched expressions used to describe "things I don't like" | ||
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Ghostcom
Denmark4783 Posts
On February 07 2014 06:55 QuanticHawk wrote: ...that were not rapists? Try again, perhaps look to Najda for some help if needed. | ||
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WombaT
Northern Ireland27228 Posts
On February 07 2014 07:21 Chocolate wrote: Yeah for real I don't think convo is about taking a girl to your apartment and pressuring her into sex. If you can't tell if someone likes you or not, asking her out is not "rapey" BTW rapey is getting up there with creepy (because now everything is rape, wtf) in terms of cliched expressions used to describe "things I don't like" At least over here, for the most part I see creepy and to a lesser extent 'rapey' used to describe behaviour that said people find entirely acceptable if someone they find attractive is doing it lol. I despise the over-use of it, because there is genuine creepiness and it becomes that bit harder to describe. | ||
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chadissilent
Canada1187 Posts
On February 07 2014 06:00 asymptotech wrote: If you (the proverbial you, not the quote since I don't mean for it to be out of context) don't think the exact opposite, where 1 no outweighs 50 yes's, you have absolutely no respect for the person you are with. Of course man, you can't respect the other person if you're a PUA. | ||
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MysteryMeat1
United States3292 Posts
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DoctorHelvetica
United States15034 Posts
On February 07 2014 07:59 MysteryMeat1 wrote: Im going karaoke with some friends tomorrow night. Would it be a bad move to invite her to this group thing. Or should i man up an ask her to lunch on monday? A group thing is a good and casual way to start a relationship/correspondence with someone and it doesn't prevent you from expressing your interest or intentions, there's no reason you can't move from a really comfortable and easy situation like a group social event to a private lunch | ||
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Najda
United States3765 Posts
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