We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
On February 07 2014 07:59 MysteryMeat1 wrote: Im going karaoke with some friends tomorrow night. Would it be a bad move to invite her to this group thing. Or should i man up an ask her to lunch on monday?
How about you stop being a little bitch and ask her out on ANY KIND OF DATE. By date, I mean one on one, you don't introduce a girl to your friends on the first date.
Jesus christ, have you never had a girlfriend or been laid before? Use some common sense... You're going to end up coming across as super creepy if you keep doing this.
I apologize if this is too harsh, but the last time I've seen someone with such little confidence, this happened:
On February 07 2014 07:59 MysteryMeat1 wrote: Im going karaoke with some friends tomorrow night. Would it be a bad move to invite her to this group thing. Or should i man up an ask her to lunch on monday?
A group thing is a good and casual way to start a relationship/correspondence with someone and it doesn't prevent you from expressing your interest or intentions, there's no reason you can't move from a really comfortable and easy situation like a group social event to a private lunch
4 dates with 4 different women in a week. Totally falling for one of them, but she doesn't want a long term thing right now. 2 of them I couldn't really connect with. The 4th seems really cool. She's a native Chinese girl that moved to the states about 5 years ago, but the date isn't until Saturday. There's also a 5th girl, but she's a friend's (recent) ex. He treated her like crap, and we get along just fine, but her baggage makes me hesitant to go after her full throttle. So far, I'm looking to stick with the Chinese girl if things go alright, although I wish the first girl wanted something more than the occasional weekend hookup. If that falls through, I'll explore my options with the 5th girl.
On February 07 2014 07:59 MysteryMeat1 wrote: Im going karaoke with some friends tomorrow night. Would it be a bad move to invite her to this group thing. Or should i man up an ask her to lunch on monday?
Hmm leave the group thing for later imo. It's intimidating to go into a group you know nobody. She doesn't even really know you.
At that point based on your last point it's hard for us to really gauge your situation without being there (I also have trouble following everyone's story) to say what is worth it... are you just imagining stuff, are you being really awkward or is she 100% not interested. Hard for us to tell.
Agreed. Pretend you're her. You get invited to make a fool of yourself drunkenly (or not) singing infront of someone you potentially like and all his friends. You know noone else there. Tbh it's not a situation I'd be comfortable going in to, even if I was openly into them. Go with something one on one imo.
Found a perfect girl, smart, beautiful, lovely. But...she's older than me and is my co-worker. I guess I don't wanna ruin the current relationship at all.
Get a few different pictures, one that shows your face, one that shows your whole body and ideally some showing you actually doing things(I just have mirror selfies but have gotten good results so meh). Having a few good photos is better than a few good ones plus some bad ones, if someone is on the fence they will likely look more at the bad photo.
Write a profile that is actually interesting, and don't be afraid of spending time on it. You can search for Kennegit's online dating guide, but it boils down to making whatever you do sound interesting even if it isn't that interesting. As my english teacher used to say, show don't tell.
Don't half-ass it as a safegaurd to your ego incase it doesn't workout well, actually put some time and thought into it if you want any results.
On February 07 2014 15:50 Najda wrote: Get a few different pictures, one that shows your face, one that shows your whole body and ideally some showing you actually doing things(I just have mirror selfies but have gotten good results so meh). Having a few good photos is better than a few good ones plus some bad ones, if someone is on the fence they will likely look more at the bad photo.
Write a profile that is actually interesting, and don't be afraid of spending time on it. You can search for Kennegit's online dating guide, but it boils down to making whatever you do sound interesting even if it isn't that interesting. As my english teacher used to say, show don't tell.
Don't half-ass it as a safegaurd to your ego incase it doesn't workout well, actually put some time and thought into it if you want any results.
Depends what you are looking for I guess? Match.com is more serious whereas okcupid is more casual. Then theres like zoosk or PoF I have no idea if people use those. Once you have a profile you can pretty much just copy paste though. I've personally only used OKCupid.
On February 07 2014 07:59 MysteryMeat1 wrote: Im going karaoke with some friends tomorrow night. Would it be a bad move to invite her to this group thing. Or should i man up an ask her to lunch on monday?
How about you stop being a little bitch and ask her out on ANY KIND OF DATE. By date, I mean one on one, you don't introduce a girl to your friends on the first date.
Jesus christ, have you never had a girlfriend or been laid before? Use some common sense... You're going to end up coming across as super creepy if you keep doing this.
On February 07 2014 07:59 MysteryMeat1 wrote: Im going karaoke with some friends tomorrow night. Would it be a bad move to invite her to this group thing. Or should i man up an ask her to lunch on monday?
A group thing is a good and casual way to start a relationship/correspondence with someone and it doesn't prevent you from expressing your interest or intentions, there's no reason you can't move from a really comfortable and easy situation like a group social event to a private lunch
This is 100% wrong.
Why is it wrong like how is it impossible to have a friendly correspondence in a comfortable space and then also express your intention to meet in private later or that you have a sexual attraction to somebody what does that have to do with confidence at all? do you think it's some kind of like automatic lock into the imaginary "Friend zone"
On February 07 2014 07:59 MysteryMeat1 wrote: Im going karaoke with some friends tomorrow night. Would it be a bad move to invite her to this group thing. Or should i man up an ask her to lunch on monday?
Hmm leave the group thing for later imo. It's intimidating to go into a group you know nobody. She doesn't even really know you.
At that point based on your last point it's hard for us to really gauge your situation without being there (I also have trouble following everyone's story) to say what is worth it... are you just imagining stuff, are you being really awkward or is she 100% not interested. Hard for us to tell.
oh i made the stupid assumption that she knew other people in the group already if she doesn't know any of your friends at all yeah it's a horrible idea
On February 07 2014 16:03 Najda wrote: Depends what you are looking for I guess? Match.com is more serious whereas okcupid is more casual. Then theres like zoosk or PoF I have no idea if people use those. Once you have a profile you can pretty much just copy paste though. I've personally only used OKCupid.
Girl I've been talking to is leaving to study abroad in Australia. Pretty sure she liked/likes me back, but I didn't add things up till the last minute. Finally vegan to really get the ball rolling, but should have started much sooner. I'm an idiot. If I add any more details, you guys will just call me even more of an idiot.
On February 07 2014 19:05 ticklishmusic wrote: I dun goofed.
Girl I've been talking to is leaving to study abroad in Australia. Pretty sure she liked/likes me back, but I didn't add things up till the last minute. Finally vegan to really get the ball rolling, but should have started much sooner. I'm an idiot. If I add any more details, you guys will just call me even more of an idiot.
On February 07 2014 07:59 MysteryMeat1 wrote: Im going karaoke with some friends tomorrow night. Would it be a bad move to invite her to this group thing. Or should i man up an ask her to lunch on monday?
How about you stop being a little bitch and ask her out on ANY KIND OF DATE. By date, I mean one on one, you don't introduce a girl to your friends on the first date.
Jesus christ, have you never had a girlfriend or been laid before? Use some common sense... You're going to end up coming across as super creepy if you keep doing this.
On February 07 2014 07:59 MysteryMeat1 wrote: Im going karaoke with some friends tomorrow night. Would it be a bad move to invite her to this group thing. Or should i man up an ask her to lunch on monday?
A group thing is a good and casual way to start a relationship/correspondence with someone and it doesn't prevent you from expressing your interest or intentions, there's no reason you can't move from a really comfortable and easy situation like a group social event to a private lunch
This is 100% wrong.
Why is it wrong like how is it impossible to have a friendly correspondence in a comfortable space and then also express your intention to meet in private later or that you have a sexual attraction to somebody what does that have to do with confidence at all? do you think it's some kind of like automatic lock into the imaginary "Friend zone"
Because you're not putting her in a comfortable space. You're hiding behind friends and she doesn't know anyone.
On February 07 2014 19:05 ticklishmusic wrote: I dun goofed.
Girl I've been talking to is leaving to study abroad in Australia. Pretty sure she liked/likes me back, but I didn't add things up till the last minute. Finally vegan to really get the ball rolling, but should have started much sooner. I'm an idiot. If I add any more details, you guys will just call me even more of an idiot.
You became vegan for a girl you have just been talking too?
EPT
