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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
Firebolt145
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Lalalaland34500 Posts
February 06 2014 08:42 GMT
#8021
'Hey, just wondering if we're still on for X? Cheers'
Moderator
arb
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Noobville17921 Posts
February 06 2014 09:05 GMT
#8022
On February 06 2014 17:42 Firebolt145 wrote:
'Hey, just wondering if we're still on for X? Cheers'

doesnt that sound desperate
should i ask if its just a one night thing too and then if she says yes move on?
Artillery spawned from the forges of Hell
rezoacken
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada2719 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-02-06 09:24:37
February 06 2014 09:16 GMT
#8023
It only sounds insecure to me if you ask someone if youre a couple or not (whatever that means in people heads), That's what girls do with me all the time (or used to do) and it fucking annoyed me (and nowadays it is "will we get married ?" and it still annoys me). I'd carry on just as normal (that is if you yourself want more than a one night stand).

You have a date in a few days, just ask a confirmation (or information about it). A simple "Hey we have a date saturday right" is fine. Call her directly. Don't bring awkward stuff in it just be excited to meet again. If she says no and doesn't want to reschedule, you'll know.

should i ask if its just a one night thing too and then if she says yes move on?


Nope, awkward, put pressure on her and insecure.
Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.
kaykaykay
Profile Joined July 2012
Singapore637 Posts
February 06 2014 09:39 GMT
#8024
So how exactly do you survive a shit test?
Starve the ego, feed the soul.
arb
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Noobville17921 Posts
February 06 2014 09:49 GMT
#8025
On February 06 2014 18:16 rezoacken wrote:
It only sounds insecure to me if you ask someone if youre a couple or not (whatever that means in people heads), That's what girls do with me all the time (or used to do) and it fucking annoyed me (and nowadays it is "will we get married ?" and it still annoys me). I'd carry on just as normal (that is if you yourself want more than a one night stand).

You have a date in a few days, just ask a confirmation (or information about it). A simple "Hey we have a date saturday right" is fine. Call her directly. Don't bring awkward stuff in it just be excited to meet again. If she says no and doesn't want to reschedule, you'll know.

Show nested quote +
should i ask if its just a one night thing too and then if she says yes move on?


Nope, awkward, put pressure on her and insecure.

Do I take an ignore/no real answer/seemingly bullshit answer as a fuck off?

Like she went from being super sweet in messages to, "my dad is kinda mad but i hope we can hang out soon maybe" to not talking to me at all :<

I don't like the concept ofbeing one night standed by a female, especially one i tried to get to go out with me for liek a year -_-
Artillery spawned from the forges of Hell
Acrofales
Profile Joined August 2010
Spain18193 Posts
February 06 2014 10:54 GMT
#8026
On February 06 2014 18:39 kaykaykay wrote:
So how exactly do you survive a shit test?

Eat lots of lavender?
Firebolt145
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Lalalaland34500 Posts
February 06 2014 11:02 GMT
#8027
On February 06 2014 18:05 arb wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 06 2014 17:42 Firebolt145 wrote:
'Hey, just wondering if we're still on for X? Cheers'

doesnt that sound desperate
should i ask if its just a one night thing too and then if she says yes move on?

Anything sounds desperate if you are out to convince yourself you sound desperate. If you ask it as a simple 'yes/no' question and don't overreact or overthink it, it'll be absolutely fine.
Moderator
Ghostcom
Profile Joined March 2010
Denmark4783 Posts
February 06 2014 15:03 GMT
#8028
On February 06 2014 18:39 kaykaykay wrote:
So how exactly do you survive a shit test?


You walk away and find a legitimately nice girl instead.
rezoacken
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada2719 Posts
February 06 2014 15:52 GMT
#8029
On February 06 2014 18:49 arb wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 06 2014 18:16 rezoacken wrote:
It only sounds insecure to me if you ask someone if youre a couple or not (whatever that means in people heads), That's what girls do with me all the time (or used to do) and it fucking annoyed me (and nowadays it is "will we get married ?" and it still annoys me). I'd carry on just as normal (that is if you yourself want more than a one night stand).

You have a date in a few days, just ask a confirmation (or information about it). A simple "Hey we have a date saturday right" is fine. Call her directly. Don't bring awkward stuff in it just be excited to meet again. If she says no and doesn't want to reschedule, you'll know.

should i ask if its just a one night thing too and then if she says yes move on?


Nope, awkward, put pressure on her and insecure.

Do I take an ignore/no real answer/seemingly bullshit answer as a fuck off?

Like she went from being super sweet in messages to, "my dad is kinda mad but i hope we can hang out soon maybe" to not talking to me at all :<

I don't like the concept ofbeing one night standed by a female, especially one i tried to get to go out with me for liek a year -_-


Can't help you there buddy.
There is nothing more to say until you actually talk to her. You'll analyze it when that's done there is no point imagining things before hand.
Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.
Overpowered
Profile Joined January 2011
Czech Republic764 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-02-06 16:21:31
February 06 2014 16:21 GMT
#8030
On February 06 2014 18:39 kaykaykay wrote:
So how exactly do you survive a shit test?

Ignore or "Agree and Amplify" - blow it into hilarious proportions.

"Do I look fat?"
"Now that you mention that... how the hell did you fit through the door?"

Dunno, just make fun of it and don't let it bother you. Best served with shit-eating grin. If the girl is not insecure, you can also try looking serious for maximum hilarity.
Just another gold Protoss...
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3292 Posts
February 06 2014 16:30 GMT
#8031
Max awko between math girl and i atm.
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
Steins;Gate
Profile Blog Joined August 2012
1422 Posts
February 06 2014 18:11 GMT
#8032
On February 07 2014 01:30 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
Max awko between math girl and i atm.

why?
" Perhaps it's impossible to wear an identity without becoming what you pretend to be. "
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3292 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-02-06 18:18:53
February 06 2014 18:14 GMT
#8033
Mixed signals bro, plus me overthinking things

Edit: i think shes just not interested. Oh well
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
Steins;Gate
Profile Blog Joined August 2012
1422 Posts
February 06 2014 18:15 GMT
#8034
aha, best of luck
" Perhaps it's impossible to wear an identity without becoming what you pretend to be. "
Ghostcom
Profile Joined March 2010
Denmark4783 Posts
February 06 2014 18:18 GMT
#8035
On February 07 2014 03:14 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
Mixed signals bro, plus me overthinking things


That is the point where you ignore all the "no" signals and just dive in based on all the "yes" signals.
DoctorHelvetica
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States15034 Posts
February 06 2014 18:36 GMT
#8036
On February 06 2014 18:39 kaykaykay wrote:
So how exactly do you survive a shit test?

absolve yourself of all pua brainwashing and don't worry about it at all
RIP Aaliyah
DoctorHelvetica
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States15034 Posts
February 06 2014 18:36 GMT
#8037
On February 07 2014 03:18 Ghostcom wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 07 2014 03:14 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
Mixed signals bro, plus me overthinking things


That is the point where you ignore all the "no" signals and just dive in based on all the "yes" signals.

never ignore "no" signals
RIP Aaliyah
Ghostcom
Profile Joined March 2010
Denmark4783 Posts
February 06 2014 19:08 GMT
#8038
On February 07 2014 03:36 DoctorHelvetica wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 07 2014 03:18 Ghostcom wrote:
On February 07 2014 03:14 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
Mixed signals bro, plus me overthinking things


That is the point where you ignore all the "no" signals and just dive in based on all the "yes" signals.

never ignore "no" signals


Nah, better to stay in the "I don't know if she is in to me or not - oh god she looked at me, she loves me; no wait now she is talking to Dan, she hates me - FUCK DAN" mode.
DoctorHelvetica
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States15034 Posts
February 06 2014 19:18 GMT
#8039
oh, i mean, it's fine to ask and express your intentions but not okay to engage in any physical action without enthusiastic consent
RIP Aaliyah
dravernor
Profile Blog Joined May 2013
Netherlands6191 Posts
February 06 2014 19:22 GMT
#8040
The stage of uncertainty is one of the most exciting parts of the chase. Frustrating but exciting. And if things work out it is good fun to go back and analyze the mixed signals together
<3
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