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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On February 06 2014 09:09 NewSunshine wrote:Show nested quote +On February 06 2014 08:16 Najda wrote:On February 06 2014 08:08 Chocolate wrote:On February 06 2014 08:03 Najda wrote:On February 06 2014 07:45 Chocolate wrote:
Yeah same. I think it's kind of gross. I didn't even have anything in mind because I guess I subscribe to the binary system (attractive or not). I honestly still don't even know what she was looking for as a response. I'm curious why you think it's gross? It's just a way of referencing someone's attractiveness compared to the average person. It seems kind of dehumanizing. I don't look at a girl and say "hmm I like her but she is only a 7, I can only be seen with 8+" I just find certain people attractive and certain ones not attractive. Maybe I am in the minority here. Also I don't really think it is a reference to the average person. If I had to guess I'd say most people would give their partners a 7/10. I agree that passing judgements based on an arbitrary number scale would be shallow and 'gross', but how is it different than saying in your binary system that the person is a 0 and you only date 1's? If I had to say, a system of 0's and 1's merely sorts out which ones you'd take an interest in, without diving into the details and deriving a more objectified value. It's a healthier rule of thumb than 1-10 because it puts less focus on appearance, an thinking about someone's appearance, which leaves more brainpower for being a better human being. I tend to identify with that more binary way of putting it, some girls I find cute and would like to pursue, some I don't, but I don't wanna go too much into it, because I really value the personality side of it too.
I think it's just less of a method of putting value on appearance and more just a way to satisfy the need to quantify things, or at least that is what it is for me.
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On February 06 2014 09:13 WarSame wrote:
My scale is 0-2. 0 = would not date/bang. 1 = would date/bang if it was easy. 2 = would date/bang even if I had to put in a lot of energy.
I go 0-2 as well.
0: Would bang but wouldn't tell anyone
1: Would bang, would tell a few close friends
2: Would bang and post about it on facebook
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On February 06 2014 10:16 chadissilent wrote:Show nested quote +On February 06 2014 09:13 WarSame wrote:
My scale is 0-2. 0 = would not date/bang. 1 = would date/bang if it was easy. 2 = would date/bang even if I had to put in a lot of energy. I go 0-2 as well. 0: Would bang but wouldn't tell anyone 1: Would bang, would tell a few close friends 2: Would bang and post about it on facebook
Is -1 not bang? Or would you bang everyone as long as they are female.
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On February 06 2014 10:20 Zooper31 wrote:Show nested quote +On February 06 2014 10:16 chadissilent wrote:On February 06 2014 09:13 WarSame wrote:
My scale is 0-2. 0 = would not date/bang. 1 = would date/bang if it was easy. 2 = would date/bang even if I had to put in a lot of energy. I go 0-2 as well. 0: Would bang but wouldn't tell anyone 1: Would bang, would tell a few close friends 2: Would bang and post about it on facebook Is -1 not bang? Or would you bang everyone as long as they are female.
As a lady friend of mine says, "men will fuck mud."
I'd modify it to say that some men will fuck mud.
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On February 06 2014 10:23 xDaunt wrote:Show nested quote +On February 06 2014 10:20 Zooper31 wrote:On February 06 2014 10:16 chadissilent wrote:On February 06 2014 09:13 WarSame wrote:
My scale is 0-2. 0 = would not date/bang. 1 = would date/bang if it was easy. 2 = would date/bang even if I had to put in a lot of energy. I go 0-2 as well. 0: Would bang but wouldn't tell anyone 1: Would bang, would tell a few close friends 2: Would bang and post about it on facebook Is -1 not bang? Or would you bang everyone as long as they are female. As a lady friend of mine says, "men will fuck mud." I'd modify it to say that some men will fuck mud.
Depends if that mud is coming onto me.
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On February 06 2014 10:37 Zooper31 wrote:Show nested quote +On February 06 2014 10:23 xDaunt wrote:On February 06 2014 10:20 Zooper31 wrote:On February 06 2014 10:16 chadissilent wrote:On February 06 2014 09:13 WarSame wrote:
My scale is 0-2. 0 = would not date/bang. 1 = would date/bang if it was easy. 2 = would date/bang even if I had to put in a lot of energy. I go 0-2 as well. 0: Would bang but wouldn't tell anyone 1: Would bang, would tell a few close friends 2: Would bang and post about it on facebook Is -1 not bang? Or would you bang everyone as long as they are female. As a lady friend of mine says, "men will fuck mud." I'd modify it to say that some men will fuck mud. Depends if that mud is coming onto me.
Could just be someone taking a shit, after all.
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Signed up for a dating site and have had some luck, meeting one girl next weekend.. should I be texting her regularly between now and then?
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On February 06 2014 11:39 Najda wrote:
Signed up for a dating site and have had some luck, meeting one girl next weekend.. should I be texting her regularly between now and then?
Yeah
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Northern Ireland26340 Posts
Well-played man. What site incidentally? How did you pull off such a thing? Usually people are really anal with details so I figure I shall request the same from yourself 
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On February 06 2014 11:39 Najda wrote:
Signed up for a dating site and have had some luck, meeting one girl next weekend.. should I be texting her regularly between now and then?
No. Let yourself be desired and give some air to a starting relationship.
Just send one or two before the week end if you want and then during the weekend if really necessary (to reach the place for example) but don't send random stuff or be in an infinite back and forth conversation.
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On February 06 2014 11:41 Wombat_NI wrote:Well-played man. What site incidentally? How did you pull off such a thing? Usually people are really anal with details so I figure I shall request the same from yourself
How in depth do you want me to go? I have a lot to say about it haha. I tried the hot or not app, didn't use tinder since it requires you to use facebook photos, and then decided to try OkCupid since it was free. Messages the like.. 10 attractive girls in my area and got a good response rate, but the conversations were typically slow and eventually stopped.
With this girl she had something in her profile about frisbee so I messaged her asking if she knew people to play with here since I genuinely want to play ultimate and don't know anyone here who does and we pretty quickly decided to meet up.
I only signed up on Sunday out of essentially curiosity/boredom at work and to get my mind off another girl so I wasn't really expecting anything.
On February 06 2014 12:15 rezoacken wrote:Show nested quote +On February 06 2014 11:39 Najda wrote:
Signed up for a dating site and have had some luck, meeting one girl next weekend.. should I be texting her regularly between now and then? No. Let yourself be desired and give some air to a starting relationship. Just send one or two before the week end if you want and then during the weekend if really necessary (to reach the place for example) but don't send random stuff or be in an infinite back and forth conversation.
Yeah that's essentially what I figured. We still need to work out some details so I'll just text her later about that.
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Northern Ireland26340 Posts
Ah, I'm just mystified as to how to get responses on these things. Like I'm a decent enough looking guy, do OK for myself but I got literally no responses and I figured wtf? Some of my repartee was witty I tells ya, plus there were a couple who legit had similar (in one case very similar) interests, and it was pretty obvious that I shared them (i.e wasn't messaging pretending to be into things I'm not)
Not even like, looking a date, just any kind of responses, not exactly butthurt by my experiences on the online dating sites mind as I was more going there out of curiosity!
It seems a bit more developed over in the States in terms of being a socially acceptable way to meet people, over here it seems more on the kind of mindless hookup side from what I can tell. That said the UK stats I saw were saying that married couples these days the majority or close to it meet up online.
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What kind of things were you messaging them? I'm not going to pretend to be an expert but I'll pm you my profile if you want to see it
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On February 06 2014 13:45 Wombat_NI wrote:
Ah, I'm just mystified as to how to get responses on these things. Like I'm a decent enough looking guy, do OK for myself but I got literally no responses and I figured wtf? Some of my repartee was witty I tells ya, plus there were a couple who legit had similar (in one case very similar) interests, and it was pretty obvious that I shared them (i.e wasn't messaging pretending to be into things I'm not)
Not even like, looking a date, just any kind of responses, not exactly butthurt by my experiences on the online dating sites mind as I was more going there out of curiosity!
It seems a bit more developed over in the States in terms of being a socially acceptable way to meet people, over here it seems more on the kind of mindless hookup side from what I can tell. That said the UK stats I saw were saying that married couples these days the majority or close to it meet up online.
maybe just try a more casual approach like girls get 100s of messages over a couple days usually and I think at a certain point really long messages or contrived witty messages would get old i mean idk what you're even sending out but just think about it like starting a conversation with someone who seems cool at a party have something to say or a place to guide the conversation toward (like similar interests) but on okcupid and sites like that i've always done well the less i care and the less i worry about/try to construct the ideal message
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Northern Ireland26340 Posts
Genuinely casual as fuck, none of my TL walls of text, I'm not completely inept :p
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On February 06 2014 14:34 Wombat_NI wrote:
Genuinely casual as fuck, none of my TL walls of text, I'm not completely inept :p
try some different things then maybe be a bit more detailed in what you want to talk about like finding a mutual interest and presenting that in a really deliberate and conversational manner with a question or something "oh i loved (y) about film (x), what did you think about that part?" or whatever
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On February 06 2014 10:23 xDaunt wrote:Show nested quote +On February 06 2014 10:20 Zooper31 wrote:On February 06 2014 10:16 chadissilent wrote:On February 06 2014 09:13 WarSame wrote:
My scale is 0-2. 0 = would not date/bang. 1 = would date/bang if it was easy. 2 = would date/bang even if I had to put in a lot of energy. I go 0-2 as well. 0: Would bang but wouldn't tell anyone 1: Would bang, would tell a few close friends 2: Would bang and post about it on facebook Is -1 not bang? Or would you bang everyone as long as they are female. As a lady friend of mine says, "men will fuck mud." I'd modify it to say that some men will fuck mud.
The itch for flesh is strong. Girls in Montreal are pretty beautiful compared to girls in other Canadian cities I've been to. I'm visiting Toronto atm and have lowered my standards but I have no problems with it what so ever. Who are we trying to impress when we have to surround ourselves around beautiful women? Most likely other guys. Met a girl at some work related thing, maybe just a tad below what you'd call average but I went to her place that same night cause she was interesting and DTF. Had that look of intense desire in her eyes.
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Me and a girl were supposed to have a date tomorrow night, (same one i was talking of earlier) we had sex monday for the 1st time, she hasnt really talked to me
worth trying to see if she wants to go?
Note not really dating etc.
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On February 06 2014 16:19 arb wrote:
Me and a girl were supposed to have a date tomorrow night, (same one i was talking of earlier) we had sex monday for the 1st time, she hasnt really talked to me
worth trying to see if she wants to go?
Note not really dating etc.
I don't get what you're really trying to ask since the only thing worth saying here is "Do as you please".
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On February 06 2014 17:19 rezoacken wrote:Show nested quote +On February 06 2014 16:19 arb wrote:
Me and a girl were supposed to have a date tomorrow night, (same one i was talking of earlier) we had sex monday for the 1st time, she hasnt really talked to me
worth trying to see if she wants to go?
Note not really dating etc. I don't get what you're really trying to ask since the only thing worth saying here is "Do as you please".
how do you go about asking if something like that is still on or do you just assume you fucked once and then youre calling it done? Like in the first place both "dates" were her idea, so should i expect her to follow through witht hem or assume shes a liar?
how does one ask without coming off as desperate or something?
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EPT
