We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
The key is to have a good time at the club. If you're bored in a corner watching who youre gonna approach you're doing it wrong. You should be talking / dancing / drinking / goofing with the people you went with (or met there) first and foremost. Then as a game you can initiate conversation with another group (with females). Keep your partying going and once you're inside the group after a few minutes just try to isolate/dance with a specific one. Then it's just a matter of staying cool, grounded and avoiding shit tests left and right.
Approaching people is expected in clubs so you just have to play that game and consider speaking to strangers entirely normal in that environment. Once the "conversation" is initiated I feel the best is to keep a high energy to break the ice and talking about nothing serious.
I say "group" as being 2 or more.
Don't be that guy that waits for a girl to go to the bathroom to propose a drink ! Don't hesitate to go into groups of 2 girls. Even 2 girls + 1 guy, just don't ignore anybody when talking to a group (even the guy !!! befriend him and of course find out very quickly if he dates one of the other girls). Bring a friend (male or female, female being the best) with you, it's easier. A little bit of alcool may help you with all that.
On February 04 2014 21:03 SixStrings wrote: I struck out without even trying yesterday.
Went grocery shopping, picked up a bag of veggies a girl dropped, gave it to her, smiled because it had been a good day, and instead of saying thanks she goes:
I'd instantly respond "Well I guess you're in luck then. When the full moon is out I turn into a werewolf from twilight and I grow at least 6 inches!" with a wink after.
Hah, what a cunt, I'd reply: "Thank god, cause chubby girls aren't my thing either"
You're accepting her framing and are insulting. You lost.
In ALL three of those cases you could add "Yeah, but..." in front of them. They all directly respond to what she's talking about and they all assume her initial statement was both true and reasonable.
Goal 1: To not accept her framing. That includes "You're short", "You're not my thing" and "I'm being bitchy to random stranger who just did something nice to me." Goal 2: To not let a random statement like that emotionally effect us. We don't know her, she doesn't know us. Goal 3 (optional): To make sure it comes across that her behavior is socially not acceptable. Goal 4 (optional): To turn the situation around in a way that opens her up as a potential target.
A) *playful* "Damn that's cute. What are you doing after you're done buying all your healthy stuff?" B) *tilt head* *serious* "Damn, you're rude." *big gesturing* "Thank you for allowing me to pick up your stuff!" *leave* (get back in if she tries to say sorry, otherwise fuck that). C) *super uber dramatic* "What!? I just put myself and all my feelings out there, I just... I just showed you how much I'm willing to invest into our relationship and this is how you thank me? I don't even..." *roll eyes* *srs* "Why are you so rude to a random stranger doing something nice for you?"
A) Ignores her framing and pretends the alien tries to establish communication but doesn't know any better. Awkward option if she tries to one-up it afterwards, would have to continue sarcastic / ironic in that case. B) Reframes the issue, makes fun of it and makes her look stupid to random bystanders. C) Draws her frame into hilarious territory and makes her look stupid to random bystanders. If she starts to explain how she thinks you were about to try and hit on her make fun of it by asking stupid dating questions à la "Alright you got me, I was about to ask whether you're around here often. Are you around here often? What do you do for fun? I do sports and go out with my friends!" and then back to some srs mode by introducing yourself properly.
I think you're quite stuck in your own framing. Just be natural.
edit: I mean to say, if you have negative stuff that you want to make positive, re-framing helps out a lot. But sometimes stuff is just the way it is, and a lot of people REALLY don't care either way. Wanting to frame stuff in a different way because you want to make good even better can be rather harmful to your true self. When you're constantly framing stuff you'll have a lot more trouble to really chill out and just be yourself in both bad and good times.
On February 05 2014 03:29 r.Evo wrote: Guys, please~
On February 04 2014 21:03 SixStrings wrote: I struck out without even trying yesterday.
Went grocery shopping, picked up a bag of veggies a girl dropped, gave it to her, smiled because it had been a good day, and instead of saying thanks she goes:
"Short guys aren't my thing". What?
I'd instantly respond "Well I guess you're in luck then. When the full moon is out I turn into a werewolf from twilight and I grow at least 6 inches!" with a wink after.
You're accepting her framing. You lost.
I would have just said something like "didn't know I had to be tall to be nice to a stranger" and walked off.
You're accepting her framing and are whiny. You lost.
Hah, what a cunt, I'd reply: "Thank god, cause chubby girls aren't my thing either"
You're accepting her framing and are insulting. You lost.
In ALL three of those cases you could add "Yeah, but..." in front of them. They all directly respond to what she's talking about and they all assume her initial statement was both true and reasonable.
Goal 1: To not accept her framing. That includes "You're short", "You're not my thing" and "I'm being bitchy to random stranger who just did something nice to me." Goal 2: To not let a random statement like that emotionally effect us. We don't know her, she doesn't know us. Goal 3 (optional): To make sure it comes across that her behavior is socially not acceptable. Goal 4 (optional): To turn the situation around in a way that opens her up as a potential target.
A) *playful* "Damn that's cute. What are you doing after you're done buying all your healthy stuff?" B) *tilt head* *serious* "Damn, you're rude." *big gesturing* "Thank you for allowing me to pick up your stuff!" *leave* (get back in if she tries to say sorry, otherwise fuck that). C) *super uber dramatic* "What!? I just put myself and all my feelings out there, I just... I just showed you how much I'm willing to invest into our relationship and this is how you thank me? I don't even..." *roll eyes* *srs* "Why are you so rude to a random stranger doing something nice for you?"
A) Ignores her framing and pretends the alien tries to establish communication but doesn't know any better. Awkward option if she tries to one-up it afterwards, would have to continue sarcastic / ironic in that case. B) Reframes the issue, makes fun of it and makes her look stupid to random bystanders. C) Draws her frame into hilarious territory and makes her look stupid to random bystanders. If she starts to explain how she thinks you were about to try and hit on her make fun of it by asking stupid dating questions à la "Alright you got me, I was about to ask whether you're around here often. Are you around here often? What do you do for fun? I do sports and go out with my friends!" and then back to some srs mode by introducing yourself properly.
I think you're quite stuck in your own framing. Just be natural.
edit: I mean to say, if you have negative stuff that you want to make positive, re-framing helps out a lot. But sometimes stuff is just the way it is, and a lot of people REALLY don't care either way. Wanting to frame stuff in a different way because you want to make good even better can be rather harmful to your true self. When you're constantly framing stuff you'll have a lot more trouble to really chill out and just be yourself in both bad and good times.
If I explain to you how to do a perfect drone split by showing simple steps that does not imply that I have to go through those steps one by one when I do it myself. For me personally it's very, very rare that I run into people who are truly dicks no matter what their first comments are, most random things like the one we were initially talking about can be handled in dozens of ways. When I got the time and skillset to do so, why not figure out what's really behind it and get to know the person?
It's quite similar to all the explanations about things like "omg how do I get past her bitch-shield!?" - past a certain point those things don't even exist anymore. Before that point? You better do your homework if you want to learn how to become more skilled socially.
On February 05 2014 03:29 r.Evo wrote: Guys, please~
On February 04 2014 21:03 SixStrings wrote: I struck out without even trying yesterday.
Went grocery shopping, picked up a bag of veggies a girl dropped, gave it to her, smiled because it had been a good day, and instead of saying thanks she goes:
"Short guys aren't my thing". What?
I'd instantly respond "Well I guess you're in luck then. When the full moon is out I turn into a werewolf from twilight and I grow at least 6 inches!" with a wink after.
You're accepting her framing. You lost.
I would have just said something like "didn't know I had to be tall to be nice to a stranger" and walked off.
You're accepting her framing and are whiny. You lost.
Hah, what a cunt, I'd reply: "Thank god, cause chubby girls aren't my thing either"
You're accepting her framing and are insulting. You lost.
In ALL three of those cases you could add "Yeah, but..." in front of them. They all directly respond to what she's talking about and they all assume her initial statement was both true and reasonable.
Goal 1: To not accept her framing. That includes "You're short", "You're not my thing" and "I'm being bitchy to random stranger who just did something nice to me." Goal 2: To not let a random statement like that emotionally effect us. We don't know her, she doesn't know us. Goal 3 (optional): To make sure it comes across that her behavior is socially not acceptable. Goal 4 (optional): To turn the situation around in a way that opens her up as a potential target.
A) *playful* "Damn that's cute. What are you doing after you're done buying all your healthy stuff?" B) *tilt head* *serious* "Damn, you're rude." *big gesturing* "Thank you for allowing me to pick up your stuff!" *leave* (get back in if she tries to say sorry, otherwise fuck that). C) *super uber dramatic* "What!? I just put myself and all my feelings out there, I just... I just showed you how much I'm willing to invest into our relationship and this is how you thank me? I don't even..." *roll eyes* *srs* "Why are you so rude to a random stranger doing something nice for you?"
A) Ignores her framing and pretends the alien tries to establish communication but doesn't know any better. Awkward option if she tries to one-up it afterwards, would have to continue sarcastic / ironic in that case. B) Reframes the issue, makes fun of it and makes her look stupid to random bystanders. C) Draws her frame into hilarious territory and makes her look stupid to random bystanders. If she starts to explain how she thinks you were about to try and hit on her make fun of it by asking stupid dating questions à la "Alright you got me, I was about to ask whether you're around here often. Are you around here often? What do you do for fun? I do sports and go out with my friends!" and then back to some srs mode by introducing yourself properly.
I think you're quite stuck in your own framing. Just be natural.
edit: I mean to say, if you have negative stuff that you want to make positive, re-framing helps out a lot. But sometimes stuff is just the way it is, and a lot of people REALLY don't care either way. Wanting to frame stuff in a different way because you want to make good even better can be rather harmful to your true self. When you're constantly framing stuff you'll have a lot more trouble to really chill out and just be yourself in both bad and good times.
If I explain to you how to do a perfect drone split by showing simple steps that does not imply that I have to go through those steps one by one when I do it myself. For me personally it's very, very rare that I run into people who are truly dicks no matter what their first comments are, most random things like the one we were initially talking about can be handled in dozens of ways. When I got the time and skillset to do so, why not figure out what's really behind it and get to know the person?
It's quite similar to all the explanations about things like "omg how do I get past her bitch-shield!?" - past a certain point those things don't even exist anymore. Before that point? You better do your homework if you want to learn how to become more skilled socially.
Farvacola still said it best.
Why are you putting so much effort into a random stranger who made a stupid comment?
On February 05 2014 03:29 r.Evo wrote: Guys, please~
On February 04 2014 21:03 SixStrings wrote: I struck out without even trying yesterday.
Went grocery shopping, picked up a bag of veggies a girl dropped, gave it to her, smiled because it had been a good day, and instead of saying thanks she goes:
"Short guys aren't my thing". What?
I'd instantly respond "Well I guess you're in luck then. When the full moon is out I turn into a werewolf from twilight and I grow at least 6 inches!" with a wink after.
You're accepting her framing. You lost.
I would have just said something like "didn't know I had to be tall to be nice to a stranger" and walked off.
You're accepting her framing and are whiny. You lost.
Hah, what a cunt, I'd reply: "Thank god, cause chubby girls aren't my thing either"
You're accepting her framing and are insulting. You lost.
In ALL three of those cases you could add "Yeah, but..." in front of them. They all directly respond to what she's talking about and they all assume her initial statement was both true and reasonable.
Goal 1: To not accept her framing. That includes "You're short", "You're not my thing" and "I'm being bitchy to random stranger who just did something nice to me." Goal 2: To not let a random statement like that emotionally effect us. We don't know her, she doesn't know us. Goal 3 (optional): To make sure it comes across that her behavior is socially not acceptable. Goal 4 (optional): To turn the situation around in a way that opens her up as a potential target.
A) *playful* "Damn that's cute. What are you doing after you're done buying all your healthy stuff?" B) *tilt head* *serious* "Damn, you're rude." *big gesturing* "Thank you for allowing me to pick up your stuff!" *leave* (get back in if she tries to say sorry, otherwise fuck that). C) *super uber dramatic* "What!? I just put myself and all my feelings out there, I just... I just showed you how much I'm willing to invest into our relationship and this is how you thank me? I don't even..." *roll eyes* *srs* "Why are you so rude to a random stranger doing something nice for you?"
A) Ignores her framing and pretends the alien tries to establish communication but doesn't know any better. Awkward option if she tries to one-up it afterwards, would have to continue sarcastic / ironic in that case. B) Reframes the issue, makes fun of it and makes her look stupid to random bystanders. C) Draws her frame into hilarious territory and makes her look stupid to random bystanders. If she starts to explain how she thinks you were about to try and hit on her make fun of it by asking stupid dating questions à la "Alright you got me, I was about to ask whether you're around here often. Are you around here often? What do you do for fun? I do sports and go out with my friends!" and then back to some srs mode by introducing yourself properly.
I think you're quite stuck in your own framing. Just be natural.
edit: I mean to say, if you have negative stuff that you want to make positive, re-framing helps out a lot. But sometimes stuff is just the way it is, and a lot of people REALLY don't care either way. Wanting to frame stuff in a different way because you want to make good even better can be rather harmful to your true self. When you're constantly framing stuff you'll have a lot more trouble to really chill out and just be yourself in both bad and good times.
If I explain to you how to do a perfect drone split by showing simple steps that does not imply that I have to go through those steps one by one when I do it myself. For me personally it's very, very rare that I run into people who are truly dicks no matter what their first comments are, most random things like the one we were initially talking about can be handled in dozens of ways. When I got the time and skillset to do so, why not figure out what's really behind it and get to know the person?
It's quite similar to all the explanations about things like "omg how do I get past her bitch-shield!?" - past a certain point those things don't even exist anymore. Before that point? You better do your homework if you want to learn how to become more skilled socially.
Farvacola still said it best.
Why are you putting so much effort into a random stranger who made a stupid comment?
Because by making a stupid/hurt/whiny comment back you're exactly the same. If anything shrug it off and/or make sure it comes across what you think without being super butthurt about it. At least that shows some class and/or competence.
On February 05 2014 19:03 arb wrote: Whats the key to like approaching females at a club or something? How drunk does one need to be for this to happen?
have a couple drinks, enough just to be tipsy and to be able to let your cool sink in
in club its all in the social value you gain.
first go speak to the1-4's (out of 10); they don't get hit on as much they'll be happy to have someone talk to them, and prolly wont reject you right away. that'll boost your own confidence and also other girls seen you being acknowledged by a girl.
climb up the ladder gradually up to 7-8's, always try to do your approach on the "lower" girl when dimes can see you. you're building your social value. then you can try on the dimes
having dancing skill is always valuable. otherwise just have fun and wether you're a good dancer or not wont matter.
have in mind what they are in the club for : dancing, fun and maybe go home withsome one.
easy way to open : hey, "insert compliment on physical trait which women care about (hair style/color/clothes)", you like dancing? (they can't say no they're here for that), show your palm for her to seize and go dance. vini vidi gg
On February 05 2014 03:29 r.Evo wrote: Guys, please~
On February 04 2014 21:03 SixStrings wrote: I struck out without even trying yesterday.
Went grocery shopping, picked up a bag of veggies a girl dropped, gave it to her, smiled because it had been a good day, and instead of saying thanks she goes:
"Short guys aren't my thing". What?
I'd instantly respond "Well I guess you're in luck then. When the full moon is out I turn into a werewolf from twilight and I grow at least 6 inches!" with a wink after.
You're accepting her framing. You lost.
I would have just said something like "didn't know I had to be tall to be nice to a stranger" and walked off.
You're accepting her framing and are whiny. You lost.
Hah, what a cunt, I'd reply: "Thank god, cause chubby girls aren't my thing either"
You're accepting her framing and are insulting. You lost.
In ALL three of those cases you could add "Yeah, but..." in front of them. They all directly respond to what she's talking about and they all assume her initial statement was both true and reasonable.
Goal 1: To not accept her framing. That includes "You're short", "You're not my thing" and "I'm being bitchy to random stranger who just did something nice to me." Goal 2: To not let a random statement like that emotionally effect us. We don't know her, she doesn't know us. Goal 3 (optional): To make sure it comes across that her behavior is socially not acceptable. Goal 4 (optional): To turn the situation around in a way that opens her up as a potential target.
A) *playful* "Damn that's cute. What are you doing after you're done buying all your healthy stuff?" B) *tilt head* *serious* "Damn, you're rude." *big gesturing* "Thank you for allowing me to pick up your stuff!" *leave* (get back in if she tries to say sorry, otherwise fuck that). C) *super uber dramatic* "What!? I just put myself and all my feelings out there, I just... I just showed you how much I'm willing to invest into our relationship and this is how you thank me? I don't even..." *roll eyes* *srs* "Why are you so rude to a random stranger doing something nice for you?"
A) Ignores her framing and pretends the alien tries to establish communication but doesn't know any better. Awkward option if she tries to one-up it afterwards, would have to continue sarcastic / ironic in that case. B) Reframes the issue, makes fun of it and makes her look stupid to random bystanders. C) Draws her frame into hilarious territory and makes her look stupid to random bystanders. If she starts to explain how she thinks you were about to try and hit on her make fun of it by asking stupid dating questions à la "Alright you got me, I was about to ask whether you're around here often. Are you around here often? What do you do for fun? I do sports and go out with my friends!" and then back to some srs mode by introducing yourself properly.
I think you're quite stuck in your own framing. Just be natural.
edit: I mean to say, if you have negative stuff that you want to make positive, re-framing helps out a lot. But sometimes stuff is just the way it is, and a lot of people REALLY don't care either way. Wanting to frame stuff in a different way because you want to make good even better can be rather harmful to your true self. When you're constantly framing stuff you'll have a lot more trouble to really chill out and just be yourself in both bad and good times.
If I explain to you how to do a perfect drone split by showing simple steps that does not imply that I have to go through those steps one by one when I do it myself. For me personally it's very, very rare that I run into people who are truly dicks no matter what their first comments are, most random things like the one we were initially talking about can be handled in dozens of ways. When I got the time and skillset to do so, why not figure out what's really behind it and get to know the person?
It's quite similar to all the explanations about things like "omg how do I get past her bitch-shield!?" - past a certain point those things don't even exist anymore. Before that point? You better do your homework if you want to learn how to become more skilled socially.
Farvacola still said it best.
Why are you putting so much effort into a random stranger who made a stupid comment?
Because by making a stupid/hurt/whiny comment back you're exactly the same. If anything shrug it off and/or make sure it comes across what you think without being super butthurt about it. At least that shows some class and/or competence.
I never meant offense, and I thought you were competent. But now you come across as a theory crafter.
On February 05 2014 03:29 r.Evo wrote: Guys, please~
On February 04 2014 21:03 SixStrings wrote: I struck out without even trying yesterday.
Went grocery shopping, picked up a bag of veggies a girl dropped, gave it to her, smiled because it had been a good day, and instead of saying thanks she goes:
"Short guys aren't my thing". What?
I'd instantly respond "Well I guess you're in luck then. When the full moon is out I turn into a werewolf from twilight and I grow at least 6 inches!" with a wink after.
You're accepting her framing. You lost.
I would have just said something like "didn't know I had to be tall to be nice to a stranger" and walked off.
You're accepting her framing and are whiny. You lost.
Hah, what a cunt, I'd reply: "Thank god, cause chubby girls aren't my thing either"
You're accepting her framing and are insulting. You lost.
In ALL three of those cases you could add "Yeah, but..." in front of them. They all directly respond to what she's talking about and they all assume her initial statement was both true and reasonable.
Goal 1: To not accept her framing. That includes "You're short", "You're not my thing" and "I'm being bitchy to random stranger who just did something nice to me." Goal 2: To not let a random statement like that emotionally effect us. We don't know her, she doesn't know us. Goal 3 (optional): To make sure it comes across that her behavior is socially not acceptable. Goal 4 (optional): To turn the situation around in a way that opens her up as a potential target.
A) *playful* "Damn that's cute. What are you doing after you're done buying all your healthy stuff?" B) *tilt head* *serious* "Damn, you're rude." *big gesturing* "Thank you for allowing me to pick up your stuff!" *leave* (get back in if she tries to say sorry, otherwise fuck that). C) *super uber dramatic* "What!? I just put myself and all my feelings out there, I just... I just showed you how much I'm willing to invest into our relationship and this is how you thank me? I don't even..." *roll eyes* *srs* "Why are you so rude to a random stranger doing something nice for you?"
A) Ignores her framing and pretends the alien tries to establish communication but doesn't know any better. Awkward option if she tries to one-up it afterwards, would have to continue sarcastic / ironic in that case. B) Reframes the issue, makes fun of it and makes her look stupid to random bystanders. C) Draws her frame into hilarious territory and makes her look stupid to random bystanders. If she starts to explain how she thinks you were about to try and hit on her make fun of it by asking stupid dating questions à la "Alright you got me, I was about to ask whether you're around here often. Are you around here often? What do you do for fun? I do sports and go out with my friends!" and then back to some srs mode by introducing yourself properly.
I think you're quite stuck in your own framing. Just be natural.
edit: I mean to say, if you have negative stuff that you want to make positive, re-framing helps out a lot. But sometimes stuff is just the way it is, and a lot of people REALLY don't care either way. Wanting to frame stuff in a different way because you want to make good even better can be rather harmful to your true self. When you're constantly framing stuff you'll have a lot more trouble to really chill out and just be yourself in both bad and good times.
If I explain to you how to do a perfect drone split by showing simple steps that does not imply that I have to go through those steps one by one when I do it myself. For me personally it's very, very rare that I run into people who are truly dicks no matter what their first comments are, most random things like the one we were initially talking about can be handled in dozens of ways. When I got the time and skillset to do so, why not figure out what's really behind it and get to know the person?
It's quite similar to all the explanations about things like "omg how do I get past her bitch-shield!?" - past a certain point those things don't even exist anymore. Before that point? You better do your homework if you want to learn how to become more skilled socially.
Farvacola still said it best.
Why are you putting so much effort into a random stranger who made a stupid comment?
Because by making a stupid/hurt/whiny comment back you're exactly the same. If anything shrug it off and/or make sure it comes across what you think without being super butthurt about it. At least that shows some class and/or competence.
I never meant offense, and I thought you were competent. But now you come across as a theory crafter.
I mean... isn't that kind of the point of the thread? Or are we just supposed to reply to everything with "oh haha that sucks." The point is that every situation could have been handled better and the best people are the ones who look for improvement in every situation.
I don't know what "best people" means, but to be frank, there are many folks happy with their love life who do not "look for improvement in every situation" and instead are willing to chalk up some instances of less than satisfactory social interaction to, You win some, you lose some, and some people are mean. In fact, given the general identification of those who would read this thread, those being folks perhaps a bit too concerned with build orders, timings, and overtly narrow models of how things work, I'd highly recommend that many people not focus on every little situation; such is the recipe for regret, unnecessary baggage, and the possibility that you pidgeonhole future social encounters based on previous ones.
I don't get why you guys put so much emphasis on how awesome it is to escalate a situation. Some of those suggested answers showed nothing more but that a completely random comment out of the blue can somehow hurt your feelings and provoke angry responses. I suggest taking a moment and thinking about that.
I genuinely don't see a reason to not either shrug such a situation off or to defuse it besides some built up anger and frustration that needs to get out RIGHT NAOW.
On February 06 2014 01:41 r.Evo wrote: I don't get why you guys put so much emphasis on how awesome it is to escalate a situation. Some of those suggested answers showed nothing more but that a completely random comment out of the blue can somehow hurt your feelings and provoke angry responses. I suggest taking a moment and thinking about that.
I genuinely don't see a reason to not either shrug such a situation off or to defuse it besides some built up anger and frustration that needs to get out RIGHT NAOW.
I think you're also a bit guilty assuming that giving a similar kind of reply is something very wrong. I personally have no problem to be rude to someone who is rude, and firing such comment comes easy, withouth a thought. After that moment obviously the conversation is gone and even if I had to admit that for a moment I went low it still doesn't mean I got hurt by her comment or that I got emotional because of it.
On February 06 2014 01:21 farvacola wrote: I don't know what "best people" means, but to be frank, there are many folks happy with their love life who do not "look for improvement in every situation" and instead are willing to chalk up some instances of less than satisfactory social interaction to
I just mean in general, for any skill (and ability to turn a situation around is a social skill), the person who looks for improvement in any situation are going to be the ones that are going to be the best at that particular skill.
I don't mean to say that to have a happy love life you have to work on improving that skill if you're already getting results you are happy with, just that if you do want to be improving that area of life, that's something you should be thinking about.
On February 06 2014 02:14 MysteryMeat1 wrote: Ugg, wasnt able to sit by her today in class, debating whether to find her after class. T-6 minutes...
Leave at the same time as her and talk to her after class. Catch her as she's packing up or whatever.
Lol didnt see this until now. But its pretty much what i did. Talked to her for 5 minutes, chickened out an didnt ask her to lunch again... T.T
I know the frustration related to missing an opportunity like that. If she stood and talked to you for 5 minutes after class she obviously likes you to some degree. Just be like "hey I'm grabbing food at X wanna come?" or ask for her number to meet up at some later point.
We didnt stand and talk per se. I walked her to her class. Our convo was pretty normal. I have exams to study for until next thursday, so maybe after then. IDK ERMERGAWD
Dude, asking people to lunch is easy business. It's a lot more platonic than a lot of other things, and those things will be a lot harder to get through compared to just lunch, though to be fair they won't seem as insurmountable after you get past lunch.
EPT
