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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On January 25 2014 14:40 Advantageous wrote:So I've been texting this girl on and off, and basically long story short I've confessed to her how I feel about her + Show Spoiler +might've been a mistake, but romance is more impulsive than logical , and her response was that she wasn't ready for a relationship and wanted to focus on other things like school and work for a while. we have a lot in common, including personality and interests, so i guess my question would be: should i keep pursuing? cuz she's been on my mind for over 6 month now; almost nonstop day-to-day kinda "on my mind" (and she's the only girl ive ever had these feels for, and i've dated other girls before her and never had these feels). my friend told me, that im just settling bcuz ive never felt this way b4 but i want more than just his opinion (and he's dated more girls than anyone i know, so by no means is this coming from someone who doesnt have experience).
Either she's being nice and she's not interested in you or thats legitimately how she feels. In both situations its time for you to move on. Your friend is pretty right, its easy to get caught up in infatuation and then convince yourself its "love". Plenty of fish in the sea dawg time to start fishing again.
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On January 25 2014 13:39 WarSame wrote:Show nested quote +On January 24 2014 15:00 FreedomMurder wrote:On January 24 2014 10:30 WarSame wrote:
On a related note: There's a girl I've met a few times because she knows one of my friends and was waiting for a bus near the one we were and came over and talked to us. She hasn't been at the bus at the same time as us in a while. I thought she was cute as hell(physically and personality wise), but didn't say too much to her because I mainly just enjoyed listening to their conversation. So she knows who I am, but we've not talked much. I have her on Facebook, but no communication on there either. It seems to me to be odd just to message her out of the blue, and it's definitely not in my character. However, I would like to start talking to her. If anyone has been in this situation could I get some advice on this? I feel awkward as hell whenever I think of how to start something, but I also want to take a shot at it in some way.
Side note: I'm 20, and this would be pretty much the first time I've actively tried to start something with a lady, so no matter what it'll be awkward. If anyone has advice for handling that, too, that'd be nice haha. Just ask your friend if he would be okay with setting you up with her. He's less likely to be opposed to things if you don't go behind his back and try to flirt with her, plus girls aren't very recipient to the random facebook message unless you have a hunch that she likes you. If you hang out with her in a group obviously go out of your way to talk to her but don't forget about the rest of the group as this could be a turn off for her and piss off your friend. If you had a few decent conversations its now socially acceptable for you to message her on face book and attempt to arrange a date. My suggestion of a first date is drinks a bar/lounge, a little alcohol to make talking easier. Just don't go for lunch, friends go for lunch. If you get to the point when you hang out with her 1 on 1 just be yourself and ask her questions about herself if conversation starts to run dry. You say you are inexperienced so my advice is try to establish that you are interested in her to avoid the friend zone but dont come on to strong that it seems like you just want action. Maybe some body contact or a kiss on the cheek or forehead after the goodbye hug if things went well. I mean if you have the balls you could go for the kiss gauging her interest in you first. Thanks for the advice FreedomMurder. You make good points. The thing that worries me is the dating. In the past when I've done things with a girl it's been really laid back, in a group or something like going on a walk or to the park. I will definitely be following your advice as best I can.
Just don't overthink things,relax and be yourself. Don't force conversation just try to let things go naturally. No point in trying to be someone you aren't because then she's not interested in you, but your facade, and that won't last. From my experience girls like to attach labels to things really quickly. Things like going on a walk or going to the park are great 3rd date things imo. If you want her, you have to let her know that you do early on. One thing that helped my success with women more than anything is not being scared of rejection or failure, just realize in the end it doesn't really matter what happens because we are young and its just casual dating. Helps me relax and be myself around girls. This resulted in me having a hot, awesome girlfriend!
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On January 26 2014 02:12 RvB wrote:Show nested quote +On January 25 2014 17:00 Dogfoodboy16 wrote:
I asked a girl out today and she said yes. Do I win? Speaking out of experience, you haven't won till you're actually on the date.
He's won game 1, but it's a bo7 series. Gl hf in game 2.
On January 26 2014 02:20 FreedomMurder wrote:Show nested quote +On January 25 2014 14:40 Advantageous wrote:So I've been texting this girl on and off, and basically long story short I've confessed to her how I feel about her + Show Spoiler +might've been a mistake, but romance is more impulsive than logical , and her response was that she wasn't ready for a relationship and wanted to focus on other things like school and work for a while. we have a lot in common, including personality and interests, so i guess my question would be: should i keep pursuing? cuz she's been on my mind for over 6 month now; almost nonstop day-to-day kinda "on my mind" (and she's the only girl ive ever had these feels for, and i've dated other girls before her and never had these feels). my friend told me, that im just settling bcuz ive never felt this way b4 but i want more than just his opinion (and he's dated more girls than anyone i know, so by no means is this coming from someone who doesnt have experience). Either she's being nice and she's not interested in you or thats legitimately how she feels. In both situations its time for you to move on. Your friend is pretty right, its easy to get caught up in infatuation and then convince yourself its "love". Plenty of fish in the sea dawg time to start fishing again.
If only following that advice was as easy as giving it. I'm in a similar situation myself and I just find myself comparing every girl to that one girl and they all fall short. I guess it just takes time in finding the right one.
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So i wanna bang this girl ASAP but I think she really likes me and actually want to start a relationship. What do i do?
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On January 26 2014 02:47 EngrishTeacher wrote:
So i wanna bang this girl ASAP but I think she really likes me and actually want to start a relationship. What do i do?
Don't be a dick.
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On January 26 2014 02:47 EngrishTeacher wrote:
So i wanna bang this girl ASAP but I think she really likes me and actually want to start a relationship. What do i do?
If you actually like her, date her. If you wouldn't date her, tell her that your not interested in a relationship then try to get it in... Just don't lead her on like you'd date her just to get in her pants, if you're gonna try to hit it then quit it at least be up front about it. Leading people on is what bitchy girls do. Do you want to be a bitchy girl?
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On January 26 2014 02:38 Najda wrote:Show nested quote +On January 26 2014 02:12 RvB wrote:On January 25 2014 17:00 Dogfoodboy16 wrote:
I asked a girl out today and she said yes. Do I win? Speaking out of experience, you haven't won till you're actually on the date. He's won game 1, but it's a bo7 series. Gl hf in game 2. Show nested quote +On January 26 2014 02:20 FreedomMurder wrote:On January 25 2014 14:40 Advantageous wrote:So I've been texting this girl on and off, and basically long story short I've confessed to her how I feel about her + Show Spoiler +might've been a mistake, but romance is more impulsive than logical , and her response was that she wasn't ready for a relationship and wanted to focus on other things like school and work for a while. we have a lot in common, including personality and interests, so i guess my question would be: should i keep pursuing? cuz she's been on my mind for over 6 month now; almost nonstop day-to-day kinda "on my mind" (and she's the only girl ive ever had these feels for, and i've dated other girls before her and never had these feels). my friend told me, that im just settling bcuz ive never felt this way b4 but i want more than just his opinion (and he's dated more girls than anyone i know, so by no means is this coming from someone who doesnt have experience). Either she's being nice and she's not interested in you or thats legitimately how she feels. In both situations its time for you to move on. Your friend is pretty right, its easy to get caught up in infatuation and then convince yourself its "love". Plenty of fish in the sea dawg time to start fishing again. If only following that advice was as easy as giving it. I'm in a similar situation myself and I just find myself comparing every girl to that one girl and they all fall short. I guess it just takes time in finding the right one.
Same here but knowing others are in the same situation makes it a bit more bearable.
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On January 26 2014 02:47 EngrishTeacher wrote:
So i wanna bang this girl ASAP but I think she really likes me and actually want to start a relationship. What do i do?
Be honest with her. Tell her you're not looking for a relationship and are just looking to hook up right now. Then leave the option up to her. But don't lead her on.
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How about if you like someone that was assigned to work with you and therefore can't get out of meeting you every week? I thought it would be inappropriate and that one should wait until the end of the school year before pursuing her?
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On January 26 2014 03:29 Grumbels wrote:
How about if you like someone that was assigned to work with you and therefore can't get out of meeting you every week? I thought it would be inappropriate and that one should wait until the end of the school year before pursuing her?
By then she might be scooped up by another suitor though.
If you think you can manage working alongside her after she turns you down (worst case scenario), then ask her out soon. For that matter, make sure you can still work alongside her if she says Yes as well, or if she says Yes and then breaks up with you >.> Be careful shitting where you eat.
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On January 26 2014 03:34 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On January 26 2014 03:29 Grumbels wrote:
How about if you like someone that was assigned to work with you and therefore can't get out of meeting you every week? I thought it would be inappropriate and that one should wait until the end of the school year before pursuing her? By then she might be scooped up by another suitor though. If you think you can manage working alongside her after she turns you down (worst case scenario), then ask her out soon. For that matter, make sure you can still work alongside her if she says Yes as well, or if she says Yes and then breaks up with you >.> Be careful shitting where you eat.
I feel like relying on fate, to expect her to be around at the end of the year, because maybe she feels the same way about me and will wait for me also. We do get along very well, and we always spend some time together afterwards to talk about personal things, and we basically share interests.
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On January 26 2014 03:58 Grumbels wrote:Show nested quote +On January 26 2014 03:34 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On January 26 2014 03:29 Grumbels wrote:
How about if you like someone that was assigned to work with you and therefore can't get out of meeting you every week? I thought it would be inappropriate and that one should wait until the end of the school year before pursuing her? By then she might be scooped up by another suitor though. If you think you can manage working alongside her after she turns you down (worst case scenario), then ask her out soon. For that matter, make sure you can still work alongside her if she says Yes as well, or if she says Yes and then breaks up with you >.> Be careful shitting where you eat. I feel like relying on fate, to expect her to be around at the end of the year, because maybe she feels the same way about me and will wait for me also. We do get along very well, and we always spend some time together afterwards to talk about personal things, and we basically share interests.
Yeah waiting isn't gonna help you at all.
If you want something, you need to take action.
Also, just from a simple basic point of view; waiting ain't manly at all.
From a real primal standing, you need to take charge as a man.
And as for the rest, check what DarkPlasmaBall wrote.
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On January 26 2014 03:58 Grumbels wrote:Show nested quote +On January 26 2014 03:34 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On January 26 2014 03:29 Grumbels wrote:
How about if you like someone that was assigned to work with you and therefore can't get out of meeting you every week? I thought it would be inappropriate and that one should wait until the end of the school year before pursuing her? By then she might be scooped up by another suitor though. If you think you can manage working alongside her after she turns you down (worst case scenario), then ask her out soon. For that matter, make sure you can still work alongside her if she says Yes as well, or if she says Yes and then breaks up with you >.> Be careful shitting where you eat. I feel like relying on fate, to expect her to be around at the end of the year, because maybe she feels the same way about me and will wait for me also. We do get along very well, and we always spend some time together afterwards to talk about personal things, and we basically share interests.
Or maybe she likes you now but won't like you anymore in a couple of months, I wouldn't rely on fate. I was in the same situation and I just went for it. It went pretty bad though and now it's uncomfortable when I'm with her at work but I don't regret it. At least now I know it's not going to work and I can get over her and look for someone else instead of waiting for months and then probably still getting rejected.
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On January 26 2014 04:57 Beany wrote:Show nested quote +On January 26 2014 03:58 Grumbels wrote:On January 26 2014 03:34 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On January 26 2014 03:29 Grumbels wrote:
How about if you like someone that was assigned to work with you and therefore can't get out of meeting you every week? I thought it would be inappropriate and that one should wait until the end of the school year before pursuing her? By then she might be scooped up by another suitor though. If you think you can manage working alongside her after she turns you down (worst case scenario), then ask her out soon. For that matter, make sure you can still work alongside her if she says Yes as well, or if she says Yes and then breaks up with you >.> Be careful shitting where you eat. I feel like relying on fate, to expect her to be around at the end of the year, because maybe she feels the same way about me and will wait for me also. We do get along very well, and we always spend some time together afterwards to talk about personal things, and we basically share interests. Yeah waiting isn't gonna help you at all. If you want something, you need to take action. Also, just from a simple basic point of view; waiting ain't manly at all. From a real primal standing, you need to take charge as a man. And as for the rest, check what DarkPlasmaBall wrote.
But I'm not a manly person, my hobbies are doting on pets and drinking herbal tea. :o
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On January 26 2014 05:44 Grumbels wrote:Show nested quote +On January 26 2014 04:57 Beany wrote:On January 26 2014 03:58 Grumbels wrote:On January 26 2014 03:34 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On January 26 2014 03:29 Grumbels wrote:
How about if you like someone that was assigned to work with you and therefore can't get out of meeting you every week? I thought it would be inappropriate and that one should wait until the end of the school year before pursuing her? By then she might be scooped up by another suitor though. If you think you can manage working alongside her after she turns you down (worst case scenario), then ask her out soon. For that matter, make sure you can still work alongside her if she says Yes as well, or if she says Yes and then breaks up with you >.> Be careful shitting where you eat. I feel like relying on fate, to expect her to be around at the end of the year, because maybe she feels the same way about me and will wait for me also. We do get along very well, and we always spend some time together afterwards to talk about personal things, and we basically share interests. Yeah waiting isn't gonna help you at all. If you want something, you need to take action. Also, just from a simple basic point of view; waiting ain't manly at all. From a real primal standing, you need to take charge as a man. And as for the rest, check what DarkPlasmaBall wrote. But I'm not a manly person, my hobbies are doting on pets and drinking herbal tea. :o
I don't think it has anything at all to do with manlyness. If you want something to happen, you have to make it happen, or it won't ever happen.
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On January 26 2014 05:44 Grumbels wrote:Show nested quote +On January 26 2014 04:57 Beany wrote:On January 26 2014 03:58 Grumbels wrote:On January 26 2014 03:34 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On January 26 2014 03:29 Grumbels wrote:
How about if you like someone that was assigned to work with you and therefore can't get out of meeting you every week? I thought it would be inappropriate and that one should wait until the end of the school year before pursuing her? By then she might be scooped up by another suitor though. If you think you can manage working alongside her after she turns you down (worst case scenario), then ask her out soon. For that matter, make sure you can still work alongside her if she says Yes as well, or if she says Yes and then breaks up with you >.> Be careful shitting where you eat. I feel like relying on fate, to expect her to be around at the end of the year, because maybe she feels the same way about me and will wait for me also. We do get along very well, and we always spend some time together afterwards to talk about personal things, and we basically share interests. Yeah waiting isn't gonna help you at all. If you want something, you need to take action. Also, just from a simple basic point of view; waiting ain't manly at all. From a real primal standing, you need to take charge as a man. And as for the rest, check what DarkPlasmaBall wrote. But I'm not a manly person, my hobbies are doting on pets and drinking herbal tea. :o
You already have established some relationship, you apparently enjoy eachothers company and seek eachother out after your school related activities. So it is at the very least appropriate to ask her to do something together, perhaps something more neutral than romantic, maybe based on your mutual interests. If she says no to some neutral activity then you know for sure she isn't interested romantically. And because you went for the more cowardly neutral option it isn't likely to be awkward. If she says yes, then you can asses her interest then, and make a move when appropriate, or go for a more date-like setting next time.
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On January 26 2014 05:44 Grumbels wrote:Show nested quote +On January 26 2014 04:57 Beany wrote:On January 26 2014 03:58 Grumbels wrote:On January 26 2014 03:34 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On January 26 2014 03:29 Grumbels wrote:
How about if you like someone that was assigned to work with you and therefore can't get out of meeting you every week? I thought it would be inappropriate and that one should wait until the end of the school year before pursuing her? By then she might be scooped up by another suitor though. If you think you can manage working alongside her after she turns you down (worst case scenario), then ask her out soon. For that matter, make sure you can still work alongside her if she says Yes as well, or if she says Yes and then breaks up with you >.> Be careful shitting where you eat. I feel like relying on fate, to expect her to be around at the end of the year, because maybe she feels the same way about me and will wait for me also. We do get along very well, and we always spend some time together afterwards to talk about personal things, and we basically share interests. Yeah waiting isn't gonna help you at all. If you want something, you need to take action. Also, just from a simple basic point of view; waiting ain't manly at all. From a real primal standing, you need to take charge as a man. And as for the rest, check what DarkPlasmaBall wrote. But I'm not a manly person, my hobbies are doting on pets and drinking herbal tea. :o
Being a manly person doesn't matter (and hardly makes sense). Being confident and assertive and honest matters  If you really like her, go for it. You shouldn't rely on fate; you should shape your own fate.
Also, make sure you listen to Beany about listening to DarkPlasmaBall. Guy knows his stuff.
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On January 26 2014 05:44 Grumbels wrote:Show nested quote +On January 26 2014 04:57 Beany wrote:On January 26 2014 03:58 Grumbels wrote:On January 26 2014 03:34 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On January 26 2014 03:29 Grumbels wrote:
How about if you like someone that was assigned to work with you and therefore can't get out of meeting you every week? I thought it would be inappropriate and that one should wait until the end of the school year before pursuing her? By then she might be scooped up by another suitor though. If you think you can manage working alongside her after she turns you down (worst case scenario), then ask her out soon. For that matter, make sure you can still work alongside her if she says Yes as well, or if she says Yes and then breaks up with you >.> Be careful shitting where you eat. I feel like relying on fate, to expect her to be around at the end of the year, because maybe she feels the same way about me and will wait for me also. We do get along very well, and we always spend some time together afterwards to talk about personal things, and we basically share interests. Yeah waiting isn't gonna help you at all. If you want something, you need to take action. Also, just from a simple basic point of view; waiting ain't manly at all. From a real primal standing, you need to take charge as a man. And as for the rest, check what DarkPlasmaBall wrote. But I'm not a manly person, my hobbies are doting on pets and drinking herbal tea. :o
Change manly with "strongly-minded" if it makes more sens. Or charismatic... that kind of traits.
Nobody's talking about burping after a beer, chest bumping watching football and emit grunts instead of words
What does doting on pets mean though ?
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My cat is my son and I am the pinnacle of man, hear me roar.
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On January 26 2014 02:47 EngrishTeacher wrote:
So i wanna bang this girl ASAP but I think she really likes me and actually want to start a relationship. What do i do?
Don't listen to these pussies. Hit it and quit it.
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EPT
