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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States46692 Posts
January 25 2014 23:02 GMT
#7681
On January 26 2014 07:57 chadissilent wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 26 2014 02:47 EngrishTeacher wrote:
So i wanna bang this girl ASAP but I think she really likes me and actually want to start a relationship. What do i do?

Don't listen to these pussies. Hit it and quit it.


Dating, how's your luck?
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland27478 Posts
January 25 2014 23:50 GMT
#7682
On January 26 2014 08:02 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 26 2014 07:57 chadissilent wrote:
On January 26 2014 02:47 EngrishTeacher wrote:
So i wanna bang this girl ASAP but I think she really likes me and actually want to start a relationship. What do i do?

Don't listen to these pussies. Hit it and quit it.


Dating, how's your luck?

Pretty bad man
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
TL+ Member
Grumbels
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Netherlands7032 Posts
January 25 2014 23:54 GMT
#7683
On January 26 2014 08:50 Wombat_NI wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 26 2014 08:02 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
On January 26 2014 07:57 chadissilent wrote:
On January 26 2014 02:47 EngrishTeacher wrote:
So i wanna bang this girl ASAP but I think she really likes me and actually want to start a relationship. What do i do?

Don't listen to these pussies. Hit it and quit it.


Dating, how's your luck?

Pretty bad man

Weren't you married with a kid?
Well, now I tell you, I never seen good come o' goodness yet. Him as strikes first is my fancy; dead men don't bite; them's my views--amen, so be it.
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland27478 Posts
January 25 2014 23:55 GMT
#7684
Well was together with his mum, but haven't been for a while. Never even been engaged even
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
TL+ Member
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States46692 Posts
January 26 2014 00:21 GMT
#7685
On January 26 2014 08:50 Wombat_NI wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 26 2014 08:02 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
On January 26 2014 07:57 chadissilent wrote:
On January 26 2014 02:47 EngrishTeacher wrote:
So i wanna bang this girl ASAP but I think she really likes me and actually want to start a relationship. What do i do?

Don't listen to these pussies. Hit it and quit it.


Dating, how's your luck?

Pretty bad man


It's because bats are cooler than wombats.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
chadissilent
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Canada1187 Posts
January 26 2014 00:58 GMT
#7686
On January 26 2014 08:02 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 26 2014 07:57 chadissilent wrote:
On January 26 2014 02:47 EngrishTeacher wrote:
So i wanna bang this girl ASAP but I think she really likes me and actually want to start a relationship. What do i do?

Don't listen to these pussies. Hit it and quit it.


Dating, how's your luck?

Fantastic, thank you.
ZapRoffo
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States5544 Posts
January 26 2014 17:37 GMT
#7687
On January 24 2014 22:29 Calanthe wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 24 2014 16:32 IAmWithStupid wrote:
I'm going to visit ISPO in Munich, it is a tourist equipment exhibition. Usually such events are super cool with lots of young fit people having time of their lives. So I'll try to boost my luck there. I hope to use a lot of ridiculously dumb pick-up lines just to hang around.

For example, "If I asked to have sex with me would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?"

Do you think it'll work?

Ugh. Can you not? Do this at bars or afterparties if you have to (it's totally tasteless and reeks of "I'm too much of an arrogant fuck to be a normal, decent human being"), don't do this at the exhibition. If you are planning on using these at the exhibition, with any luck, you'll be reported to the organizers, uninvited, then fired from your job.

Show nested quote +
On January 24 2014 21:05 WonnaPlay wrote:
Be very carefull when going for such a girl. She has already mentioned that she see's you as a friend.
Cuddling, kissing etc is a thing which a girl might do just to see whatsup. She might seem into you for a while, but in the meantime would be just waiting for another guy and "settling" with you.
Cute girls are by far the most dangerous since they give you the "Hey, I could marry this girl"-feeling, whilst just leaning you on.
Ofcourse that said, when that is clear just enjoy the time you have with her, however don't fall in love in that case.

The assumptions you make of "lets give this thing a go" might just be "hey, this guy is pretty cute for the time being", so try to be straight forward with your intentions and find out what hers are.
Aside from all this, congrats :D

Alternately, don't overthink it. Make sure you communicate with the girl you're seeing - that will clear up just about everything. "Hey, you said a while back that you kinda only see me as a friend. Do you still feel that way?"

I'm not sure how old Zap is, but I remember that up until I was like 23, I was really weird about just saying things that I was thinking or feeling. Being very, very honest and open -- and yes, this will totally make you vulnerable, but we're mostly adults here, or just about to be -- with my romantic partners has made an insane difference on the amount of worrying I do. There are no "Does he like me? Does he like it when I do x? If he likes me, does he like me enough to marry me?" worrying sessions where I analyze every sniffle and nut adjustment to try to divine the answers.



I'm 27, but in terms of specific experience of actually being in a relationship and stuff I'm like 17, heh. But in general life perspective I have a whole lot more than any 17 year old and I'm a very fast learner in everything.

Anyway I tried to explain my perspective straight up to her yesterday and it didn't come out exactly as smooth as it was in my head but I think she got the gist, that I don't have any presumptions about what we are, I don't have expectations like oh you invited me over that means we are having sex, I'm not trying to read into things, just it feels good to be with you so lets do that. We ended up alternatively cuddling while TV watching and making out for like 6 or 7 hours (with a pizza break, heh). The sense I got was it seemed like she was turned on at the most intense times but consciously trying to resist making it too directly sexual because that would either be too fast or we still know each other too casually. But then that's just my inexperienced reading.
Yeah, well, you know, that's just like, your opinion man
KwarK
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States44443 Posts
January 26 2014 19:43 GMT
#7688
On January 26 2014 02:47 EngrishTeacher wrote:
So i wanna bang this girl ASAP but I think she really likes me and actually want to start a relationship. What do i do?

Don't fuck people under false pretences. If you think that they would not want to fuck you if they knew crucial information you're deliberately withholding then that's pretty awful.
ModeratorThe angels have the phone box
GumBa
Profile Blog Joined July 2012
United Kingdom31935 Posts
January 26 2014 20:24 GMT
#7689
So I have liked this girl for years and always got on relativly well. A couple of months back we started chatting and texting eachother after we hadnt seen each other in a while and we get along fine (nothing to personal though she did talk to me about her insecurities and stuff but dunno if thats a girl thing). So I met her at a party etc and we got on really well and I have got a huuuge crush on her but am not sure if she feels the same way you know?
I would like to ask her out or atleast meet up and do something but not sure how or if I should etc and all I can do is think about her and its killing me
Any ideas or tips guys how to go about with this would love to date her but not sure lol.
To all the haters: you deserve to witness many, many more Serral victories, worthy of the godlike player he is.
Epishade
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
United States2267 Posts
January 26 2014 22:14 GMT
#7690
On January 27 2014 05:24 GumBa wrote:
So I have liked this girl for years and always got on relativly well. A couple of months back we started chatting and texting eachother after we hadnt seen each other in a while and we get along fine (nothing to personal though she did talk to me about her insecurities and stuff but dunno if thats a girl thing). So I met her at a party etc and we got on really well and I have got a huuuge crush on her but am not sure if she feels the same way you know?
I would like to ask her out or atleast meet up and do something but not sure how or if I should etc and all I can do is think about her and its killing me
Any ideas or tips guys how to go about with this would love to date her but not sure lol.

Use Epishade's signature phrase when asking someone out:
"Feel free to say no, but what would you say if I asked you out?"
Hasn't failed me yet! Everyone I've ever used that line on has always said no!
Pinhead Larry in the streets, Dirty Dan in the sheets.
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States46692 Posts
January 26 2014 22:47 GMT
#7691
On January 27 2014 05:24 GumBa wrote:
So I have liked this girl for years and always got on relativly well. A couple of months back we started chatting and texting eachother after we hadnt seen each other in a while and we get along fine (nothing to personal though she did talk to me about her insecurities and stuff but dunno if thats a girl thing). So I met her at a party etc and we got on really well and I have got a huuuge crush on her but am not sure if she feels the same way you know?
I would like to ask her out or atleast meet up and do something but not sure how or if I should etc and all I can do is think about her and its killing me
Any ideas or tips guys how to go about with this would love to date her but not sure lol.


Ask her out, in person (not via text): I was wondering if I could take you out to dinner some time. Or some other activity that you two mutually share interest in (e.g., bowling). (Make sure you have a Where and When in mind in case she wants you to elaborate.) Not the movies though. Crappy first date idea, as the objective is to spend time together talking and laughing and flirting, not sitting silently in the dark.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Grumbels
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Netherlands7032 Posts
January 26 2014 22:58 GMT
#7692
On January 27 2014 07:47 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 27 2014 05:24 GumBa wrote:
So I have liked this girl for years and always got on relativly well. A couple of months back we started chatting and texting eachother after we hadnt seen each other in a while and we get along fine (nothing to personal though she did talk to me about her insecurities and stuff but dunno if thats a girl thing). So I met her at a party etc and we got on really well and I have got a huuuge crush on her but am not sure if she feels the same way you know?
I would like to ask her out or atleast meet up and do something but not sure how or if I should etc and all I can do is think about her and its killing me
Any ideas or tips guys how to go about with this would love to date her but not sure lol.


Ask her out, in person (not via text): I was wondering if I could take you out to dinner some time. Or some other activity that you two mutually share interest in (e.g., bowling). (Make sure you have a Where and When in mind in case she wants you to elaborate.) Not the movies though. Crappy first date idea, as the objective is to spend time together talking and laughing and flirting, not sitting silently in the dark.

Going to a movie is more friend-ish though. You can pick a movie (or theater play, concert, lecture etc.) that you're actually interested in and then just ask her if she wants to come because you would enjoy the company. And then afterwards you can get a drink somewhere.

I would personally be very hesitant to ask someone to take a walk in the park or so. That makes it 100% clear it's an actual date. If you're going to a movie then at least the movie will be fun to watch and it's enjoyable independent of your romantic luck.
Well, now I tell you, I never seen good come o' goodness yet. Him as strikes first is my fancy; dead men don't bite; them's my views--amen, so be it.
ZapRoffo
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States5544 Posts
January 26 2014 23:08 GMT
#7693
On January 27 2014 07:47 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 27 2014 05:24 GumBa wrote:
So I have liked this girl for years and always got on relativly well. A couple of months back we started chatting and texting eachother after we hadnt seen each other in a while and we get along fine (nothing to personal though she did talk to me about her insecurities and stuff but dunno if thats a girl thing). So I met her at a party etc and we got on really well and I have got a huuuge crush on her but am not sure if she feels the same way you know?
I would like to ask her out or atleast meet up and do something but not sure how or if I should etc and all I can do is think about her and its killing me
Any ideas or tips guys how to go about with this would love to date her but not sure lol.


Ask her out, in person (not via text): I was wondering if I could take you out to dinner some time. Or some other activity that you two mutually share interest in (e.g., bowling). (Make sure you have a Where and When in mind in case she wants you to elaborate.) Not the movies though. Crappy first date idea, as the objective is to spend time together talking and laughing and flirting, not sitting silently in the dark.


Movies are great if you do something afterward, then you talk about the movie over drinks or a meal or whatever, and it's a really effective conversation helper. Even can be repeatedly used and come back to, like if there's a lull, you can be like "You know, I was just thinking about this ... from the movie..." cause you know it's automatically relevant to both of your experiences and something in common.
Yeah, well, you know, that's just like, your opinion man
MightyBill
Profile Joined October 2013
93 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-01-26 23:34:40
January 26 2014 23:27 GMT
#7694
On January 27 2014 07:58 Grumbels wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 27 2014 07:47 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
On January 27 2014 05:24 GumBa wrote:
So I have liked this girl for years and always got on relativly well. A couple of months back we started chatting and texting eachother after we hadnt seen each other in a while and we get along fine (nothing to personal though she did talk to me about her insecurities and stuff but dunno if thats a girl thing). So I met her at a party etc and we got on really well and I have got a huuuge crush on her but am not sure if she feels the same way you know?
I would like to ask her out or atleast meet up and do something but not sure how or if I should etc and all I can do is think about her and its killing me
Any ideas or tips guys how to go about with this would love to date her but not sure lol.


Ask her out, in person (not via text): I was wondering if I could take you out to dinner some time. Or some other activity that you two mutually share interest in (e.g., bowling). (Make sure you have a Where and When in mind in case she wants you to elaborate.) Not the movies though. Crappy first date idea, as the objective is to spend time together talking and laughing and flirting, not sitting silently in the dark.

Going to a movie is more friend-ish though. You can pick a movie (or theater play, concert, lecture etc.) that you're actually interested in and then just ask her if she wants to come because you would enjoy the company. And then afterwards you can get a drink somewhere.

I would personally be very hesitant to ask someone to take a walk in the park or so. That makes it 100% clear it's an actual date. If you're going to a movie then at least the movie will be fun to watch and it's enjoyable independent of your romantic luck.


You want to make it an actual date and be clear about it! Leaving stuff unclear and in the middle is like the highway to Friendzone.

Edit for addition:

You're asking her out, so don't expect her to make any moves. So you want to get in situations where you can hold her hand, share intimate silent moments (stargazing or something), get random physical contact (snowball fight?), and just do something active. Sitting and talking about a fucking movie is what I'd do with my friends. All movies I watched on second or third dates (never at a theater, always at home) I was only spending time making out, and laugh with her that the movie suddenly ended and we didn't have a clue what the movie was about.
Bigtony
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States1606 Posts
January 26 2014 23:29 GMT
#7695
It's awful and I don't want to use online dating. fml.
Push 2 Harder
Ghostcom
Profile Joined March 2010
Denmark4783 Posts
January 26 2014 23:32 GMT
#7696
On January 27 2014 08:27 MightyBill wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 27 2014 07:58 Grumbels wrote:
On January 27 2014 07:47 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
On January 27 2014 05:24 GumBa wrote:
So I have liked this girl for years and always got on relativly well. A couple of months back we started chatting and texting eachother after we hadnt seen each other in a while and we get along fine (nothing to personal though she did talk to me about her insecurities and stuff but dunno if thats a girl thing). So I met her at a party etc and we got on really well and I have got a huuuge crush on her but am not sure if she feels the same way you know?
I would like to ask her out or atleast meet up and do something but not sure how or if I should etc and all I can do is think about her and its killing me
Any ideas or tips guys how to go about with this would love to date her but not sure lol.


Ask her out, in person (not via text): I was wondering if I could take you out to dinner some time. Or some other activity that you two mutually share interest in (e.g., bowling). (Make sure you have a Where and When in mind in case she wants you to elaborate.) Not the movies though. Crappy first date idea, as the objective is to spend time together talking and laughing and flirting, not sitting silently in the dark.

Going to a movie is more friend-ish though. You can pick a movie (or theater play, concert, lecture etc.) that you're actually interested in and then just ask her if she wants to come because you would enjoy the company. And then afterwards you can get a drink somewhere.

I would personally be very hesitant to ask someone to take a walk in the park or so. That makes it 100% clear it's an actual date. If you're going to a movie then at least the movie will be fun to watch and it's enjoyable independent of your romantic luck.


You want to make it an actual date and be clear about it! Leaving stuff unclear and in the middle is like the highway to Friendzone.


This guy is on to something.

In other news: I won't see her until Thursday
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland27478 Posts
January 26 2014 23:56 GMT
#7697
On January 27 2014 05:24 GumBa wrote:
So I have liked this girl for years and always got on relativly well. A couple of months back we started chatting and texting eachother after we hadnt seen each other in a while and we get along fine (nothing to personal though she did talk to me about her insecurities and stuff but dunno if thats a girl thing). So I met her at a party etc and we got on really well and I have got a huuuge crush on her but am not sure if she feels the same way you know?
I would like to ask her out or atleast meet up and do something but not sure how or if I should etc and all I can do is think about her and its killing me
Any ideas or tips guys how to go about with this would love to date her but not sure lol.

Tell her you beat the handsome baller known as Wombat_NI in a Starcraft tournament, should do the trick.
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
TL+ Member
r.Evo
Profile Joined August 2006
Germany14081 Posts
January 27 2014 00:03 GMT
#7698
Movie is fine if you're at the point of cuddling/making out anyway, if you do it earlier than that it's awkward as hell because that's 2 hours more during which you're not advancing anything. If your issue is a slow escalation anyway, don't put yourself into a situation that further amplifies it.
"We don't make mistakes here, we call it happy little accidents." ~Bob Ross
Copymizer
Profile Joined November 2010
Denmark2109 Posts
January 27 2014 00:40 GMT
#7699
How many times after seeing a girl is it "not weird" to give her flowers?
~~Yo man ! MBCGame HERO Fighting !! Holy check !
chadissilent
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Canada1187 Posts
January 27 2014 00:51 GMT
#7700
On January 27 2014 07:14 Epishade wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 27 2014 05:24 GumBa wrote:
So I have liked this girl for years and always got on relativly well. A couple of months back we started chatting and texting eachother after we hadnt seen each other in a while and we get along fine (nothing to personal though she did talk to me about her insecurities and stuff but dunno if thats a girl thing). So I met her at a party etc and we got on really well and I have got a huuuge crush on her but am not sure if she feels the same way you know?
I would like to ask her out or atleast meet up and do something but not sure how or if I should etc and all I can do is think about her and its killing me
Any ideas or tips guys how to go about with this would love to date her but not sure lol.

Use Epishade's signature phrase when asking someone out:
"Feel free to say no, but what would you say if I asked you out?"
Hasn't failed me yet! Everyone I've ever used that line on has always said no!

I have used "how mad would you be if I kissed you right now?" quite a few times with much success.
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