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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On January 28 2014 01:37 JoeCool wrote:
Well as I said, neither do I get my hopes up. Nor do I want her to leave her bf, there is a reason why she has choosen him instead of me. And I am aware of that.^^
I was just curious because I´ve never experienced such behaviour. Now that I think about it, possibility 2] combined with what Wombat_NI said seems pretty plausible.
If she'll cheat with you, she'll cheat on you.
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On January 27 2014 19:57 SixStrings wrote:
I had the talk this weekend.
Turns out she decided to tell her parents first, which made her father, one of the few hardcore Christians in Germany, so mad that he beat the living crap out of her and threatened to kill her if anyone should find out that she had sex out of wedlock.
So instead of trying to talk her out of having the baby, I had to console her, offered her to stay at my place until she gets her own one, so she doesn't have to go back to her parents etc. Though part of me now wants her to keep the bastard just to spite her father, I'm still hoping desperately that she act responsibly and gets rid of it.
Also, in a strange turn of events, maybe it's Karma, the father got his come uppings afterwards by two perpetrators whose identity is yet unclear.
Wowowoowo. Wow. Poor girl. Her father's a massive fuckbag.
I'm still hoping desperately that she act responsibly and gets rid of it.
Maybe I missed this, but what exactly makes her irresponsible enough to not carry the child to term? Does she drink heavily and do IV drugs?
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Netherlands6181 Posts
Girls like attention. If you give her attention, and then take it away a bit, she craves it more. If her boyfriend isn't giving it to her then she will seek it elsewhere. This is why ignoring girls works. It makes you want them to want you.
E: In response to what JoeCool said. Too lazy to quote him.
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On January 28 2014 00:50 JoeCool wrote:
... how would you react to to a girl that´s flirting with you although she has a boyfriend? I´ve had sth like an affair with her some time ago... did not work out and we did not see each other for 8 months, now I see her on a daily basis and we´re getting along prettty well.
Recently she started texting me with questions about my underwear ("What are you wearing?"), tells me about hers. And calls me ?dish? (don´t know the correct translation but in german its a more vulg. expression for a tasty guy) ... even in public. Don´t want to overvalue that, but still..
It's fine if all you want to do is hook up, but just know that if she's willing to cheat on him she's willing to do the same to you so would never even think of having any sense of a meaningful relationship with her.
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I really have a "poor kid" feeling when reading SixStrings story.
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On January 28 2014 01:01 WonnaPlay wrote:Show nested quote +On January 28 2014 00:50 JoeCool wrote:
... how would you react to to a girl that´s flirting with you although she has a boyfriend? I´ve had sth like an affair with her some time ago... did not work out and we did not see each other for 8 months, now I see her on a daily basis and we´re getting along prettty well.
Recently she started texting me with questions about my underwear ("What are you wearing?"), tells me about hers. And calls me ?dish? (don´t know the correct translation but in german its a more vulg. expression for a tasty guy) ... even in public. Don´t want to overvalue that, but still..
Walk away. Nothing comes good of this, unless she breaks up with her bf first before doing this shit. As I see it now, there are 2 likely outcomes ; 1] She is not happy with her bf and wants to have sex with you, so the cheating can be her 'breakup' (or she is just a slut who wants another guy on the side). If this is the case, there will be a high probability that the guy would want to fuck you up, also consider your own morals.... 2] She is just teasing you to death (maybe even making her bf jealous) and leave you with blue balls. The most unlikely outcome (considering the fact she is in a relationship) would be that she is actually into you, but in that case she would be fine to break up first before you hook up again. edit : Show nested quote +On January 28 2014 00:56 Wombat_NI wrote:
Stay clear, if she gets on like that behind her bf's back, she'd do the same to you Beat me to it 
I wholeheartedly endorse this post. The best case outcome here is that you may get to have a fling or two with her, but don't count on anything wholesome coming from this situation. If you don't know what you're doing, just stay away and look elsewhere. I got entangled by a girl who fell into Category No. 2 back when I was naive, and my God did it suck and was it hard to get out of.
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So, after being fucked over pretty hard by a girl (read my previous posts in this thread if you're really curious, I guess most of the answers I had back then were pretty spot on…), I'm back on the online dating scene!
I realized my profile was just some utterly generic and boring crap and decided to rewrite it completely to dramatically increase my chances. I thought I needed to talk about my passions but after staying for a while in front of a blank word document, I'm no longer too sure about it…
What do I like?
Music! Acoustic guitar? Common man, metal is the real deal! Prog metal? Fuck that shit! BLACK and DEATH, that's what I'm talking about! I'm not a crazy metalhead or anything, I'm decently good looking, dress up well, even outside of work and do not wear anything spiky on me. That's just the kind of music I like… And I don't even play an instrument…
Geek stuff! I'm a software engineer, I design and write cool pieces of code and I love it! And I love ESPORTS!
But really, should I talk about it? I also enjoy most of the stuff other people enjoy (beer, party, movies, travel, blablabla), but that's boring… The thing is, I'm not especially looking for someone with the same tastes as me. If she enjoys it too, good. If not, I don't give a shit, we can spend some time doing couple stuff and when I have some free time alone, I do my things…
Any quality advices? 
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Netherlands6181 Posts
On January 28 2014 03:24 Merany wrote:What do I like? Music! Acoustic guitar? Common man, metal is the real deal! Prog metal? Fuck that shit! BLACK and DEATH, that's what I'm talking about! I'm not a crazy metalhead or anything, I'm decently good looking, dress up well, even outside of work and do not wear anything spiky on me. That's just the kind of music I like… And I don't even play an instrument… Any quality advices?
My advice is to like prog metal!!!
Otherwise yeah, just be yourself ^_^ Especially if you are being serious with wanting to find someone.
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On January 28 2014 03:24 Merany wrote:So, after being fucked over pretty hard by a girl (read my previous posts in this thread if you're really curious, I guess most of the answers I had back then were pretty spot on…), I'm back on the online dating scene! I realized my profile was just some utterly generic and boring crap and decided to rewrite it completely to dramatically increase my chances. I thought I needed to talk about my passions but after staying for a while in front of a blank word document, I'm no longer too sure about it… What do I like? Music! Acoustic guitar? Common man, metal is the real deal! Prog metal? Fuck that shit! BLACK and DEATH, that's what I'm talking about! I'm not a crazy metalhead or anything, I'm decently good looking, dress up well, even outside of work and do not wear anything spiky on me. That's just the kind of music I like… And I don't even play an instrument… Geek stuff! I'm a software engineer, I design and write cool pieces of code and I love it! And I love ESPORTS! But really, should I talk about it? I also enjoy most of the stuff other people enjoy (beer, party, movies, travel, blablabla), but that's boring… The thing is, I'm not especially looking for someone with the same tastes as me. If she enjoys it too, good. If not, I don't give a shit, we can spend some time doing couple stuff and when I have some free time alone, I do my things… Any quality advices?
DISCLAIMER: I am not a relationship guru.
I say do it. If you're looking for a relationship from the online dating and not a hookup you might as well. You will get less generic interests but the girls who do respond will be pretty into you.
You might as well put in the Metal and Nerd stuff because that's who you are and you won't be able to section that part of you off from the relationship anyway so you might as well be upfront about what you like.
As for "doing your own thing" in "your freetime" I wouldn't count on it. Unless you want to listen to Justin Beiber on car trips and watch vampire diaries instead of tourney's I'd let her know what you like to do right off the bat.
I don't know a lot about relationships but "your free-time" is generally either "time he could be spending with me" or "time for me to find some new D" but very rarely will a girl who isn't into or appreciate ESports or Metal or whatev.. going to sit by and text while you do nerdy stuff.
SO my advice is to put it on your prof 1. It will be different than most of the other profs and 2. She will know right off the bat what kind of guy she is looking into and whether you watching a Tourney at 2AM instead of cuddling her to sleep is going to be a deal breaker. Also you might want to mention you have a good sense of humor if you do because us nerds can use it haha.
PS. Do french girls shave their armpits more regularly now or is that a painfully outdated stereotype?
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On January 28 2014 03:24 Merany wrote:So, after being fucked over pretty hard by a girl (read my previous posts in this thread if you're really curious, I guess most of the answers I had back then were pretty spot on…), I'm back on the online dating scene! I realized my profile was just some utterly generic and boring crap and decided to rewrite it completely to dramatically increase my chances. I thought I needed to talk about my passions but after staying for a while in front of a blank word document, I'm no longer too sure about it… What do I like? Music! Acoustic guitar? Common man, metal is the real deal! Prog metal? Fuck that shit! BLACK and DEATH, that's what I'm talking about! I'm not a crazy metalhead or anything, I'm decently good looking, dress up well, even outside of work and do not wear anything spiky on me. That's just the kind of music I like… And I don't even play an instrument… Geek stuff! I'm a software engineer, I design and write cool pieces of code and I love it! And I love ESPORTS! But really, should I talk about it? I also enjoy most of the stuff other people enjoy (beer, party, movies, travel, blablabla), but that's boring… The thing is, I'm not especially looking for someone with the same tastes as me. If she enjoys it too, good. If not, I don't give a shit, we can spend some time doing couple stuff and when I have some free time alone, I do my things… Any quality advices?
Well you'd have to dig a little more than that to communicate a passion. For example saying "I like to wipe floors" isn't the same as "I like to make places spotless because that's where I want to live, a clean mind in a clean place".
You see what I mean with this silly example ? Even though both may not be really interesting, you probably want to meet the second more than the first.
I feel it's even more important if you're going to talk about geeky stuff.
I would also lower the tone if you're gonna speak about metal music. Less vulgarity and maybe no "death" word. Also don't try to justify yourself in the same paragraph saying something along the lines of "Oh but don't worry I'm a normal person outside". Cut that down, your pictures are there for your image. If youre dressed like a goth or like a normal worker she will see it.
As for the things you deem boring, they really aren't. If you say something like "I like to travel" yes it sucks. But if you say something like "I LOVE travelling to new place, I really enjoyed my trip to Malta last year ! Really incredible vacations. Both sunny and cultural. That island at the crossing of different cultures blew my mind with images I'll keep for a lifetime. I can't wait for my next trip." now it's a different story.
And then you put your best Malta picture (with you in it).
PS. Do french girls shave their armpits more regularly now or is that a painfully outdated stereotype?
Outdated stereotype from WW2 when women didn't have the time/possibility to do it because they had something more important on their mind; and obviously the countryside was worse than cities. But this stereotype came back with american soldiers.
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On January 28 2014 03:41 dravernor wrote:Show nested quote +On January 28 2014 03:24 Merany wrote:What do I like? Music! Acoustic guitar? Common man, metal is the real deal! Prog metal? Fuck that shit! BLACK and DEATH, that's what I'm talking about! I'm not a crazy metalhead or anything, I'm decently good looking, dress up well, even outside of work and do not wear anything spiky on me. That's just the kind of music I like… And I don't even play an instrument… Any quality advices? My advice is to like prog metal!!! Otherwise yeah, just be yourself ^_^ Especially if you are being serious with wanting to find someone.
maybe i should give him some tips!
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Come on guys, I was not planning on saying it like that :D That was some big exaggeration to get the point across. And sure, traveling is not boring, quite the opposite, I've done some pretty cool trips in my life and I'm going to mention it but I needed more stuff to talk about.
And yes, I do like prog metal from time to time but the reality is, tech death just sounds better to my ears
Point is: I can listen to music while at work and commuting so I don't care about the girl liking it or not… I just don't want someone reading it and thinking "holy shit, who the fuck is this weirdo". And I don't believe all the "if she thinks like that, she's not worth it". People have bias, that's how it is and I'm fine with it. I don't want to lose opportunities!
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On January 28 2014 03:13 rezoacken wrote:
I really have a "poor kid" feeling when reading SixStrings story.
agreed...
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On January 28 2014 04:17 Merany wrote:Come on guys, I was not planning on saying it like that :D That was some big exaggeration to get the point across. And sure, traveling is not boring, quite the opposite, I've done some pretty cool trips in my life and I'm going to mention it but I needed more stuff to talk about. And yes, I do like prog metal from time to time but the reality is, tech death just sounds better to my ears Point is: I can listen to music while at work and commuting so I don't care about the girl liking it or not… I just don't want someone reading it and thinking "holy shit, who the fuck is this weirdo". And I don't believe all the "if she thinks like that, she's not worth it". People have bias, that's how it is and I'm fine with it. I don't want to lose opportunities!
My brother is a metalhead and he constantly has girlfriends that he meets through online dating.
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On January 28 2014 04:17 Merany wrote:Come on guys, I was not planning on saying it like that :D That was some big exaggeration to get the point across. And sure, traveling is not boring, quite the opposite, I've done some pretty cool trips in my life and I'm going to mention it but I needed more stuff to talk about. And yes, I do like prog metal from time to time but the reality is, tech death just sounds better to my ears Point is: I can listen to music while at work and commuting so I don't care about the girl liking it or not… I just don't want someone reading it and thinking "holy shit, who the fuck is this weirdo". And I don't believe all the "if she thinks like that, she's not worth it". People have bias, that's how it is and I'm fine with it. I don't want to lose opportunities!
It's more efficient to be attractive to a limited group than trying to please everybody. You're just forced to lose some opportunities in the end. (It also creates better relationships at the end).
Something that douchebags understand truly well, alienating a group but pleasing another.
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Netherlands6181 Posts
On January 28 2014 04:13 MysteryMeat1 wrote:Show nested quote +On January 28 2014 03:41 dravernor wrote:On January 28 2014 03:24 Merany wrote:What do I like? Music! Acoustic guitar? Common man, metal is the real deal! Prog metal? Fuck that shit! BLACK and DEATH, that's what I'm talking about! I'm not a crazy metalhead or anything, I'm decently good looking, dress up well, even outside of work and do not wear anything spiky on me. That's just the kind of music I like… And I don't even play an instrument… Any quality advices? My advice is to like prog metal!!! Otherwise yeah, just be yourself ^_^ Especially if you are being serious with wanting to find someone. maybe i should give him some tips!
Please don't say Katy Perry...
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On January 28 2014 03:24 Merany wrote:So, after being fucked over pretty hard by a girl (read my previous posts in this thread if you're really curious, I guess most of the answers I had back then were pretty spot on…), I'm back on the online dating scene! I realized my profile was just some utterly generic and boring crap and decided to rewrite it completely to dramatically increase my chances. I thought I needed to talk about my passions but after staying for a while in front of a blank word document, I'm no longer too sure about it… What do I like? Music! Acoustic guitar? Common man, metal is the real deal! Prog metal? Fuck that shit! BLACK and DEATH, that's what I'm talking about! I'm not a crazy metalhead or anything, I'm decently good looking, dress up well, even outside of work and do not wear anything spiky on me. That's just the kind of music I like… And I don't even play an instrument… Geek stuff! I'm a software engineer, I design and write cool pieces of code and I love it! And I love ESPORTS! But really, should I talk about it? I also enjoy most of the stuff other people enjoy (beer, party, movies, travel, blablabla), but that's boring… The thing is, I'm not especially looking for someone with the same tastes as me. If she enjoys it too, good. If not, I don't give a shit, we can spend some time doing couple stuff and when I have some free time alone, I do my things… Any quality advices?
I highly suggest you read kennigit's guide to online dating that's right here on team liquid. Not trying to advertise, but his advice helped me so much, and to be honest, the results were literally overnight. I went from talking to 0 girls to talking to 3 in about 12 hours...
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On January 28 2014 05:53 LeeDawg wrote:Show nested quote +On January 28 2014 03:24 Merany wrote:So, after being fucked over pretty hard by a girl (read my previous posts in this thread if you're really curious, I guess most of the answers I had back then were pretty spot on…), I'm back on the online dating scene! I realized my profile was just some utterly generic and boring crap and decided to rewrite it completely to dramatically increase my chances. I thought I needed to talk about my passions but after staying for a while in front of a blank word document, I'm no longer too sure about it… What do I like? Music! Acoustic guitar? Common man, metal is the real deal! Prog metal? Fuck that shit! BLACK and DEATH, that's what I'm talking about! I'm not a crazy metalhead or anything, I'm decently good looking, dress up well, even outside of work and do not wear anything spiky on me. That's just the kind of music I like… And I don't even play an instrument… Geek stuff! I'm a software engineer, I design and write cool pieces of code and I love it! And I love ESPORTS! But really, should I talk about it? I also enjoy most of the stuff other people enjoy (beer, party, movies, travel, blablabla), but that's boring… The thing is, I'm not especially looking for someone with the same tastes as me. If she enjoys it too, good. If not, I don't give a shit, we can spend some time doing couple stuff and when I have some free time alone, I do my things… Any quality advices? I highly suggest you read kennigit's guide to online dating that's right here on team liquid. Not trying to advertise, but his advice helped me so much, and to be honest, the results were literally overnight. I went from talking to 0 girls to talking to 3 in about 12 hours...
Got a link?
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On January 28 2014 06:08 Nerevar wrote:Show nested quote +On January 28 2014 05:53 LeeDawg wrote:On January 28 2014 03:24 Merany wrote:So, after being fucked over pretty hard by a girl (read my previous posts in this thread if you're really curious, I guess most of the answers I had back then were pretty spot on…), I'm back on the online dating scene! I realized my profile was just some utterly generic and boring crap and decided to rewrite it completely to dramatically increase my chances. I thought I needed to talk about my passions but after staying for a while in front of a blank word document, I'm no longer too sure about it… What do I like? Music! Acoustic guitar? Common man, metal is the real deal! Prog metal? Fuck that shit! BLACK and DEATH, that's what I'm talking about! I'm not a crazy metalhead or anything, I'm decently good looking, dress up well, even outside of work and do not wear anything spiky on me. That's just the kind of music I like… And I don't even play an instrument… Geek stuff! I'm a software engineer, I design and write cool pieces of code and I love it! And I love ESPORTS! But really, should I talk about it? I also enjoy most of the stuff other people enjoy (beer, party, movies, travel, blablabla), but that's boring… The thing is, I'm not especially looking for someone with the same tastes as me. If she enjoys it too, good. If not, I don't give a shit, we can spend some time doing couple stuff and when I have some free time alone, I do my things… Any quality advices? I highly suggest you read kennigit's guide to online dating that's right here on team liquid. Not trying to advertise, but his advice helped me so much, and to be honest, the results were literally overnight. I went from talking to 0 girls to talking to 3 in about 12 hours... Got a link?
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=98041
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On January 28 2014 06:17 Grumbels wrote:Show nested quote +On January 28 2014 06:08 Nerevar wrote:On January 28 2014 05:53 LeeDawg wrote:On January 28 2014 03:24 Merany wrote:So, after being fucked over pretty hard by a girl (read my previous posts in this thread if you're really curious, I guess most of the answers I had back then were pretty spot on…), I'm back on the online dating scene! I realized my profile was just some utterly generic and boring crap and decided to rewrite it completely to dramatically increase my chances. I thought I needed to talk about my passions but after staying for a while in front of a blank word document, I'm no longer too sure about it… What do I like? Music! Acoustic guitar? Common man, metal is the real deal! Prog metal? Fuck that shit! BLACK and DEATH, that's what I'm talking about! I'm not a crazy metalhead or anything, I'm decently good looking, dress up well, even outside of work and do not wear anything spiky on me. That's just the kind of music I like… And I don't even play an instrument… Geek stuff! I'm a software engineer, I design and write cool pieces of code and I love it! And I love ESPORTS! But really, should I talk about it? I also enjoy most of the stuff other people enjoy (beer, party, movies, travel, blablabla), but that's boring… The thing is, I'm not especially looking for someone with the same tastes as me. If she enjoys it too, good. If not, I don't give a shit, we can spend some time doing couple stuff and when I have some free time alone, I do my things… Any quality advices? I highly suggest you read kennigit's guide to online dating that's right here on team liquid. Not trying to advertise, but his advice helped me so much, and to be honest, the results were literally overnight. I went from talking to 0 girls to talking to 3 in about 12 hours... Got a link? http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=98041
Cool, thanks!
This would've been useful when I was online dating several months ago. Many dates with many girls and many kisses were had, but I got too busy and the dating got too expensive.
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