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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
IAmWithStupid
Profile Blog Joined February 2013
Russian Federation1016 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-01-24 13:41:41
January 24 2014 13:40 GMT
#7621
On January 24 2014 22:29 Calanthe wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 24 2014 16:32 IAmWithStupid wrote:
I'm going to visit ISPO in Munich, it is a tourist equipment exhibition. Usually such events are super cool with lots of young fit people having time of their lives. So I'll try to boost my luck there. I hope to use a lot of ridiculously dumb pick-up lines just to hang around.

For example, "If I asked to have sex with me would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?"

Do you think it'll work?


Ugh. Do this at bars or afterparties if you have to (it's totally tasteless and reeks of "I'm too much of an arrogant fuck to be a normal, decent human being"), don't do this at the exhibition. If you are planning on using these at the exhibition, with any luck, you'll be reported to the organizers, uninvited, then fired from your job.

Totally agree. I had to elaborate more. Job is a priority for me (I'm an interpreter for one russian guy), but during afterparties and informal networking why not? Last time I worked as interpreter at similar event in Friedrichshafen (August 2013) and after the doors were closing it was just an endless marathon of parties.
Insert wise words here
Calanthe
Profile Joined October 2012
United States141 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-01-24 13:53:57
January 24 2014 13:53 GMT
#7622
Awesome. That's a lot cooler than doing it in a work environment, but that still doesn't make it terribly cool. Are you an interesting and funny person outside of those lines? Can you follow up the truly horrific lines with some conversation, or do you just expect them to wow the pants off ladies and make them say "Wow that was such a terrible pickup line, please bed me?"
IAmWithStupid
Profile Blog Joined February 2013
Russian Federation1016 Posts
January 24 2014 14:11 GMT
#7623
The point of all this "cheesiness" is not to bang as many random girls as I can, I'm not a Charlie Harper (or Barney Stinson) type of person. It's about the process of building up courage before and having a good laughter after. Basically, I love these events so much, because it is predetermined that everyone has the same passion - tourism (climbing, alpinism, skiing, etc.), everyone is super friendly and has some epic adventure stories to tell.
Insert wise words here
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
January 24 2014 14:37 GMT
#7624
On January 24 2014 19:45 white_horse wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 24 2014 09:58 Metak wrote:
On January 24 2014 05:40 white_horse wrote:
What are you supposed to say, and how are you supposed to say things when you are

-talking to a girl
-texting to a girl
-facebook private messaging a girl

in a way that doesn't make you look like a creep? Or am I second guessing myself and the girls are unresponsive because they simply aren't interested in me as a guy? What if I just wanted to be friends?


Say anything you want to say (be yourself) but if you can help it, try to not be too eager. Don't push it. If she doesn't reply for a while there could be a lot of reasons. After a while you could try once or twice more, if she still doesn't reply, move on.


Yes, I think it is a good idea. To the others who responded to me, no, I'm not asking her creepy questions. I meet girls, I'll add them on facebook, and then send them a private message saying that it was nice meeting them, ask where are they from, etc. Then I usually end the conversation myself after maybe 2 or 3 back and forths?

What am I supposed to do now? Like what you wrote, text her again a few days later again and see her response?


The point of facebook messages should be to get her out and for you two to meet up. No one likes holding an actual conversation on facebook. And like someone else said earlier, skip facebook and just get her number (though sometimes facebook is easier I understand).
white_horse
Profile Joined July 2010
1019 Posts
January 24 2014 15:11 GMT
#7625
On January 24 2014 23:37 Najda wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 24 2014 19:45 white_horse wrote:
On January 24 2014 09:58 Metak wrote:
On January 24 2014 05:40 white_horse wrote:
What are you supposed to say, and how are you supposed to say things when you are

-talking to a girl
-texting to a girl
-facebook private messaging a girl

in a way that doesn't make you look like a creep? Or am I second guessing myself and the girls are unresponsive because they simply aren't interested in me as a guy? What if I just wanted to be friends?


Say anything you want to say (be yourself) but if you can help it, try to not be too eager. Don't push it. If she doesn't reply for a while there could be a lot of reasons. After a while you could try once or twice more, if she still doesn't reply, move on.


Yes, I think it is a good idea. To the others who responded to me, no, I'm not asking her creepy questions. I meet girls, I'll add them on facebook, and then send them a private message saying that it was nice meeting them, ask where are they from, etc. Then I usually end the conversation myself after maybe 2 or 3 back and forths?

What am I supposed to do now? Like what you wrote, text her again a few days later again and see her response?


The point of facebook messages should be to get her out and for you two to meet up. No one likes holding an actual conversation on facebook. And like someone else said earlier, skip facebook and just get her number (though sometimes facebook is easier I understand).


Ok I see your guys' point, thanks.
Translator
Aegeis
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States1619 Posts
January 24 2014 17:14 GMT
#7626
had sex with a co-worker last night

I gave it some thought before hand and figured I'm young and if there is ever a time to make a decision that could go bad... the time is now lol
"Skills to pay the bills" - Artosis, https://twitter.com/AegeisSC2 ,http://www.tumblr.com/blog/socal-esports
Djzapz
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada10681 Posts
January 24 2014 17:34 GMT
#7627
My gf sometimes will randomly dress up like a hipster even though she really isn't. I think she might be crazy.
"My incompetence with power tools had been increasing exponentially over the course of 20 years spent inhaling experimental oven cleaners"
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
January 24 2014 18:02 GMT
#7628
Maybe she just likes the style?
rezoacken
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada2719 Posts
January 24 2014 18:10 GMT
#7629
On January 24 2014 23:11 IAmWithStupid wrote:
The point of all this "cheesiness" is not to bang as many random girls as I can, I'm not a Charlie Harper (or Barney Stinson) type of person. It's about the process of building up courage before and having a good laughter after. Basically, I love these events so much, because it is predetermined that everyone has the same passion - tourism (climbing, alpinism, skiing, etc.), everyone is super friendly and has some epic adventure stories to tell.


Why you don't just exchange epic adventure stories instead then ?
Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.
Djzapz
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada10681 Posts
January 24 2014 18:12 GMT
#7630
On January 25 2014 03:02 Najda wrote:
Maybe she just likes the style?

I assume so. Isn't that a sign of insanity?

Them big glasses x_x
"My incompetence with power tools had been increasing exponentially over the course of 20 years spent inhaling experimental oven cleaners"
ZenithM
Profile Joined February 2011
France15952 Posts
January 24 2014 18:14 GMT
#7631
On January 25 2014 03:10 rezoacken wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 24 2014 23:11 IAmWithStupid wrote:
The point of all this "cheesiness" is not to bang as many random girls as I can, I'm not a Charlie Harper (or Barney Stinson) type of person. It's about the process of building up courage before and having a good laughter after. Basically, I love these events so much, because it is predetermined that everyone has the same passion - tourism (climbing, alpinism, skiing, etc.), everyone is super friendly and has some epic adventure stories to tell.


Why you don't just exchange epic adventure stories instead then ?

It gives a sexual tone to the conversation right away at least. Not a very tasteful one though ;D
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-01-24 18:17:01
January 24 2014 18:14 GMT
#7632
I like the look personally (though there is a definitely a line).

On January 25 2014 03:10 rezoacken wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 24 2014 23:11 IAmWithStupid wrote:
The point of all this "cheesiness" is not to bang as many random girls as I can, I'm not a Charlie Harper (or Barney Stinson) type of person. It's about the process of building up courage before and having a good laughter after. Basically, I love these events so much, because it is predetermined that everyone has the same passion - tourism (climbing, alpinism, skiing, etc.), everyone is super friendly and has some epic adventure stories to tell.


Why you don't just exchange epic adventure stories instead then ?


Yeah that sounds way better. Why open with something nonsensical if you already have common ground with everyone and genuinely share the same interests.
IAmWithStupid
Profile Blog Joined February 2013
Russian Federation1016 Posts
January 24 2014 18:28 GMT
#7633
It was just an example, though not the best, I agree. I've done some research on lines for climbers (there will be a stand with bouldering). They are terribly wrong too (e.g. "I like the way you fingered that crack"). Anyway, looking forward to have some fun!
Insert wise words here
ziggurat
Profile Joined October 2010
Canada847 Posts
January 24 2014 18:32 GMT
#7634
I read a pretty funny article that reminded me of this thread:

http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2014/01/how-to-hack-okcupid/all/

A few quotes:

"He’d been approaching online matchmaking like any other user. Instead, he realized, he should be dating like a mathematician."

Or this one:

"Most unsuccessful daters confront self-esteem issues. For McKinlay it was worse. He had to question his calculations."
NotSorry
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
United States6722 Posts
January 24 2014 19:00 GMT
#7635
Seems like too many are focusing on trying to be too in your face "I want sex" through the conversation itself, I've always found that it's the physical escalation that gets you laid. I'll chat a girl up about almost anything doesn't even have to be something most would find interesting but I'm constantly pushing in closer, messing with their hair or flicking their ear-rings and in a few minutes it's the woman coming in trying to kiss on me.
We have now sunk to a depth at which restatement of the obvious is the first duty of intelligent men. - Orwell
Advocado
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Denmark994 Posts
January 24 2014 19:34 GMT
#7636
There is no asking in romance.
http://www.twitch.tv/advocadosc2
DoctorM
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States36 Posts
January 24 2014 19:35 GMT
#7637
On January 10 2014 11:51 DoctorM wrote:
I do agree that she might not be mature enough right now. Definitely agree with the "it's something else" comment. I don't plan on being used, and if she can't see the value in me then that's her loss. I think in regards to friendship I will be her friend. I'm comfortable in myself and my prospects to be around her without intense longing. At the very least, I'll certainly lift the restrictions on her coming to my place and talking to me pretty soon. I definitely won't go out of my way to be her friend, and I won't do it in the hopes of getting with her again. In fact, I'll probably leave it up to her to establish a friendship with me. If I find it to be something of value when she tries, then maybe I'll do it.
Now if only I could get Tinder to work on my ipod lol (stupid old version can only update to 6.5 and it requires 7).


An update for anyone who cares:
Dis girl and I are on good terms. I'm still doing fine.
Got a new phone, Tinder works well.
Have 2 dates this weekend. One of which I asked out in person. Enjoying single life. GL to everyone else here too!
-Doc.
maybenexttime
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
Poland5556 Posts
January 24 2014 23:04 GMT
#7638
On January 25 2014 02:34 Djzapz wrote:
My gf sometimes will randomly dress up like a hipster even though she really isn't. I think she might be crazy.


She is a hipster. It's just that being a hipster is too mainstream these days, so she does that only occasionally.
Djzapz
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada10681 Posts
January 24 2014 23:10 GMT
#7639
On January 25 2014 08:04 maybenexttime wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 25 2014 02:34 Djzapz wrote:
My gf sometimes will randomly dress up like a hipster even though she really isn't. I think she might be crazy.


She is a hipster. It's just that being a hipster is too mainstream these days, so she does that only occasionally.

That is some next level shit.
"My incompetence with power tools had been increasing exponentially over the course of 20 years spent inhaling experimental oven cleaners"
maybenexttime
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
Poland5556 Posts
January 24 2014 23:51 GMT
#7640
On January 25 2014 08:10 Djzapz wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 25 2014 08:04 maybenexttime wrote:
On January 25 2014 02:34 Djzapz wrote:
My gf sometimes will randomly dress up like a hipster even though she really isn't. I think she might be crazy.


She is a hipster. It's just that being a hipster is too mainstream these days, so she does that only occasionally.

That is some next level shit.


It's not that uncommon. You've just never heard of it.
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