1. factory workers
2. prostitutes
But life is fun here, albeit lacking the emotions and care of a real relationship
edit:
3. someone else's wife
Forum Index > General Forum |
We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
saltywet
Hong Kong1316 Posts
1. factory workers 2. prostitutes But life is fun here, albeit lacking the emotions and care of a real relationship edit: 3. someone else's wife | ||
chadissilent
Canada1187 Posts
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rezoacken
Canada2719 Posts
1. I'm not trying to land a lucky guess. It should be obvious it's a joke there. Teasing about the actual response is also a possibility though I agree. 2. If she's so quick to assume I'm a moron for being playful I'm not sure there is a point to go further. Also the response is purely invented so whatever really. 3. I don't know this movie or TV series. 4. Agreed. Reading my question again it's weirdly said. | ||
chadissilent
Canada1187 Posts
On January 06 2014 15:04 rezoacken wrote: That said though I'm not sure I agree with your remarks: 1. I'm not trying to land a lucky guess. It should be obvious it's a joke there. Teasing about the actual response is also a possibility though I agree. 2. If she's so quick to assume I'm a moron for being playful I'm not sure there is a point to go further. Also the response is purely invented so whatever really. 3. I don't know this movie or TV series. 4. Agreed. Reading my question again it's weirdly said. 1. Lots of people want to get the menial small talk out of the way and not prolong it. Make your quip, let both of you get a quick laugh in, and move on. The worst conversation I've ever had on a date was an hour talk about engineering. We're both engineering students/EIT but I really don't give a fuck what you do. If I'm on a date I want to get to know the person, not talk about work/school/whatever. It's boring, I deal with enough of that shit in other parts of my life, and if it's the only thing we have in common then either I am hooking up with you every once in a while or not talking to you again. There's no chance at a relationship. 2. That's how they do react. I've seen people try this with my friends (I have a lot of female friends) and the best reaction these guys get is a polite brush-off, then the girls proceed to laugh about it with me. 3. Trailer Park Boys is a staple of Canadian culture, much like Fubar... Basically the joke is that Ricky (one of the main characters) calls the prosecutor "your honor" and the judge "your majesty" because he's too stupid to know better. | ||
rezoacken
Canada2719 Posts
Listening and working with the answers should remain key but yeah, favorite activity, voyages/experiences, etc. is a better subject to work on. | ||
IronManSC
United States2119 Posts
On January 04 2014 20:58 SixStrings wrote: While we're at it, does anyone know of any good sites in Germany? The only decent one I found was OKcupid, but that one is pretty deserted here. I'd suggest match.com. Okcupid is a little more amateurish IMO. | ||
IgnE
United States7681 Posts
On January 06 2014 16:55 IronManSC wrote: Show nested quote + On January 04 2014 20:58 SixStrings wrote: While we're at it, does anyone know of any good sites in Germany? The only decent one I found was OKcupid, but that one is pretty deserted here. I'd suggest match.com. Okcupid is a little more amateurish IMO. Of course the Christian who doesn't have sex before marriage would say that. Match is for Christians looking for marriage. Not worth your time probably. | ||
IronManSC
United States2119 Posts
On January 06 2014 17:39 IgnE wrote: Show nested quote + On January 06 2014 16:55 IronManSC wrote: On January 04 2014 20:58 SixStrings wrote: While we're at it, does anyone know of any good sites in Germany? The only decent one I found was OKcupid, but that one is pretty deserted here. I'd suggest match.com. Okcupid is a little more amateurish IMO. Of course the Christian who doesn't have sex before marriage would say that. Match is for Christians looking for marriage. Not worth your time probably. Match.com is a dating site for anybody (based on your filters). Christianmingle is a so-called "christian dating site." I've tried it, and it's probably the one site you don't want to use. I can't even begin to describe the level of hypocrisy, judgmental, and depressed people there are on that site, especially when you HAVE to claim yourself as some type of christian to even sign up. eharmony is also owned by a christian but you are not obligated to say you are one. On match, you have to put yourself out there, and you can filter through what you prefer in your beliefs, as you can on any of the sites. I've tried basically every popular site for about two years altogether.. eharmony, okcupid, match, christianmingle, and some other site or two that I can't remember, and I would have to say match was probably the best option. Mabye because most people I encountered on there were more normal IMO (eharmony is good too but you hardly get any matches, and to talk to someone you have to go through a step-by-step process with them, which is fine). Match worked out for me because I met my fiance on there. Different strokes for different folks though. | ||
Mikau
Netherlands1446 Posts
On January 06 2014 10:48 rezoacken wrote: Show nested quote + On January 06 2014 08:33 Mikau wrote: After posting in this thread a bit the last week I've finally convinced myself to not worry too much about what can go wrong and just go for it. A couple of days ago I had a conversation with a girl that sold me cheese (ye lol). Because I still suck at this I went back the next day to ask her out. She had a day off that day and because I didn't want the trip to have been for nothing I asked her co-worker if he knew if she was single (she wasn't, and the mean look he gave me made me think he was the bf lol) . I realise this is 100% the wrong way to have approached the situation but it's more effort than I've put into meeting anyone in forever (as sad as that might sound) so I'm chalking it up as a win. I have a more concrete question though. On my way home from work I stepped into a small travel supermarket at the bus station, one of those where you spend approximately 15 seconds at checkout with the next person in line breathing down your neck. The cashier was supercute. How would you go about asking somebody out in a setting like this? There's no time for small talk and just straight up going can I have your number/want to grab a drink with me or something sounds like a really bad idea too. Any suggestions? First. Good job trying stuff and being pro active ! Now for your question you've got to realize cashier are used to guys leaving their numbers on small paper and stuff. Your best chance with this is to be truly genuine in your approach and super friendly upfront. Say hi, ask how the day's going and smile. Now if you're in a line you can't make this go long and since you're in public there's a lot of added pressure. So just be bold and genuine saying she's cute and would love a quick chat after her work 30min maximum. Ask if she's willing, if she's not no trouble and that if she agrees you'll wait at place X, next door just after her shift. If it's not possible ask for number instead. Now though, this is one that is very hard to pull off. They are not in their best mood, there is a lot of pressure around (being in public) and you almost gotta get a result in 1min. So a lot of it has to come with super confidence, a genuinely good aura about you and your physic. Super confidence and a genuinely good aura? This one seems to be a bit too advanced for my newfound confidence at the moment ![]() First step is waiting for her to work again though. I've gone to that supermarket after work a couple of times a week for the last month and this was the first time I've seen her. Maybe I should ask a coworker when she's working again? | ||
MightyBill
93 Posts
On January 06 2014 19:46 Mikau wrote: Show nested quote + On January 06 2014 10:48 rezoacken wrote: On January 06 2014 08:33 Mikau wrote: After posting in this thread a bit the last week I've finally convinced myself to not worry too much about what can go wrong and just go for it. A couple of days ago I had a conversation with a girl that sold me cheese (ye lol). Because I still suck at this I went back the next day to ask her out. She had a day off that day and because I didn't want the trip to have been for nothing I asked her co-worker if he knew if she was single (she wasn't, and the mean look he gave me made me think he was the bf lol) . I realise this is 100% the wrong way to have approached the situation but it's more effort than I've put into meeting anyone in forever (as sad as that might sound) so I'm chalking it up as a win. I have a more concrete question though. On my way home from work I stepped into a small travel supermarket at the bus station, one of those where you spend approximately 15 seconds at checkout with the next person in line breathing down your neck. The cashier was supercute. How would you go about asking somebody out in a setting like this? There's no time for small talk and just straight up going can I have your number/want to grab a drink with me or something sounds like a really bad idea too. Any suggestions? First. Good job trying stuff and being pro active ! Now for your question you've got to realize cashier are used to guys leaving their numbers on small paper and stuff. Your best chance with this is to be truly genuine in your approach and super friendly upfront. Say hi, ask how the day's going and smile. Now if you're in a line you can't make this go long and since you're in public there's a lot of added pressure. So just be bold and genuine saying she's cute and would love a quick chat after her work 30min maximum. Ask if she's willing, if she's not no trouble and that if she agrees you'll wait at place X, next door just after her shift. If it's not possible ask for number instead. Now though, this is one that is very hard to pull off. They are not in their best mood, there is a lot of pressure around (being in public) and you almost gotta get a result in 1min. So a lot of it has to come with super confidence, a genuinely good aura about you and your physic. Super confidence and a genuinely good aura? This one seems to be a bit too advanced for my newfound confidence at the moment ![]() First step is waiting for her to work again though. I've gone to that supermarket after work a couple of times a week for the last month and this was the first time I've seen her. Maybe I should ask a coworker when she's working again? Don't ask a co-worker for her work-times imo. Also cashiers can be very easy or very difficult. They don't really listen to what you say, because all they're thinking about is "Hello, got your bonus-card (something dutch), that will be 10 euro's, want your receipt?" The only real contact they make with you is when they ask for your money and your receipt, and you don't really have time so it's tricky. Things that I found to work is confidently taking your time while looking her in the eye, and saying something to catch her completely off-guard, like an actual one-liner or neg. "Wow you look so pretty while sitting there in your work clothes!". It doesnt matter how corny, as long as it's genuine, confident, and not too rehearsed. What also worked for me once is asking the girl behind the counter what the stamps are for (when she wanted to give me stamps), locking eye-contact and smiling while she's explaining some stuff, and then say something along the lines of "I'm sorry I wasn't really listening, you're so pretty! (smile some more). Want to go out on a date?" The second approach needs less confidence than a shitty one-liner, but you will need to persuade yourself that you are going on a date with her beforehand. Don't be like "well I tried, but I knew it was going to fail anyway" because that attitude is the primary reason why people fail. If she dodges you and tries to be like "well I don't know if that's a good idea", you should REALLY man up and just say her to her face "Well that kinda makes me sad, but have a nice day. At least I made you smile ![]() | ||
SixStrings
Germany2046 Posts
On January 06 2014 16:55 IronManSC wrote: Show nested quote + On January 04 2014 20:58 SixStrings wrote: While we're at it, does anyone know of any good sites in Germany? The only decent one I found was OKcupid, but that one is pretty deserted here. I'd suggest match.com. Okcupid is a little more amateurish IMO. OKC seems to be the perfect site to me. I've checked it out, and I honestly don't see a single thing that could be improved. Of course the point is mood because nobody here uses the site, but that's not really their fault. | ||
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dravernor
Netherlands6175 Posts
He came back the next week and asked why I had given him a fake number. Cringe. Eventually I told him as plainly as possible that I wasn't interested in going out to dinner etc with him and our relationship was to be strictly professional. He tried various arguments to sway me and eventually I used the line 'why don't you ask my boyfriend if it would be okay?' I haven't seen him since. So yeah, don't be that guy, don't make it awkward. | ||
Gotard
Poland446 Posts
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SixStrings
Germany2046 Posts
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r.Evo
Germany14079 Posts
On January 07 2014 03:12 SixStrings wrote: I prefer giving away my number. Doesn't put the girl on the spot and it's easier for her to save face (hers, as well as mine). Incredibly unreliable and puts pressure and responsibility to make something happen on her. Usually a bad idea. | ||
farvacola
United States18818 Posts
On January 07 2014 01:49 dravernor wrote: Oh god. I HATE it when I get hit on at work, or asked out. A few months ago I had a customer insist on giving me his number and taking mine (which was fake) because he wanted to take me out to dinner. I was a bit too polite to outright say no, especially since what he was currently buying from me was worth three times my paycheck, so after declining as politely as possible several times, I gave in and gave him my fake number. He came back the next week and asked why I had given him a fake number. Cringe. Eventually I told him as plainly as possible that I wasn't interested in going out to dinner etc with him and our relationship was to be strictly professional. He tried various arguments to sway me and eventually I used the line 'why don't you ask my boyfriend if it would be okay?' I haven't seen him since. So yeah, don't be that guy, don't make it awkward. This is why you need to forget being polite when romance comes a knocking and just be plain spoken. I've really appreciated the women in my life who have straight up said, "no, not gonna happen.". Saves everyone a lot of time and tribulation. | ||
arb
Noobville17920 Posts
On January 06 2014 20:18 MightyBill wrote: Show nested quote + On January 06 2014 19:46 Mikau wrote: On January 06 2014 10:48 rezoacken wrote: On January 06 2014 08:33 Mikau wrote: After posting in this thread a bit the last week I've finally convinced myself to not worry too much about what can go wrong and just go for it. A couple of days ago I had a conversation with a girl that sold me cheese (ye lol). Because I still suck at this I went back the next day to ask her out. She had a day off that day and because I didn't want the trip to have been for nothing I asked her co-worker if he knew if she was single (she wasn't, and the mean look he gave me made me think he was the bf lol) . I realise this is 100% the wrong way to have approached the situation but it's more effort than I've put into meeting anyone in forever (as sad as that might sound) so I'm chalking it up as a win. I have a more concrete question though. On my way home from work I stepped into a small travel supermarket at the bus station, one of those where you spend approximately 15 seconds at checkout with the next person in line breathing down your neck. The cashier was supercute. How would you go about asking somebody out in a setting like this? There's no time for small talk and just straight up going can I have your number/want to grab a drink with me or something sounds like a really bad idea too. Any suggestions? First. Good job trying stuff and being pro active ! Now for your question you've got to realize cashier are used to guys leaving their numbers on small paper and stuff. Your best chance with this is to be truly genuine in your approach and super friendly upfront. Say hi, ask how the day's going and smile. Now if you're in a line you can't make this go long and since you're in public there's a lot of added pressure. So just be bold and genuine saying she's cute and would love a quick chat after her work 30min maximum. Ask if she's willing, if she's not no trouble and that if she agrees you'll wait at place X, next door just after her shift. If it's not possible ask for number instead. Now though, this is one that is very hard to pull off. They are not in their best mood, there is a lot of pressure around (being in public) and you almost gotta get a result in 1min. So a lot of it has to come with super confidence, a genuinely good aura about you and your physic. Super confidence and a genuinely good aura? This one seems to be a bit too advanced for my newfound confidence at the moment ![]() First step is waiting for her to work again though. I've gone to that supermarket after work a couple of times a week for the last month and this was the first time I've seen her. Maybe I should ask a coworker when she's working again? Don't ask a co-worker for her work-times imo. Also cashiers can be very easy or very difficult. They don't really listen to what you say, because all they're thinking about is "Hello, got your bonus-card (something dutch), that will be 10 euro's, want your receipt?" The only real contact they make with you is when they ask for your money and your receipt, and you don't really have time so it's tricky. Things that I found to work is confidently taking your time while looking her in the eye, and saying something to catch her completely off-guard, like an actual one-liner or neg. "Wow you look so pretty while sitting there in your work clothes!". It doesnt matter how corny, as long as it's genuine, confident, and not too rehearsed. What also worked for me once is asking the girl behind the counter what the stamps are for (when she wanted to give me stamps), locking eye-contact and smiling while she's explaining some stuff, and then say something along the lines of "I'm sorry I wasn't really listening, you're so pretty! (smile some more). Want to go out on a date?" The second approach needs less confidence than a shitty one-liner, but you will need to persuade yourself that you are going on a date with her beforehand. Don't be like "well I tried, but I knew it was going to fail anyway" because that attitude is the primary reason why people fail. If she dodges you and tries to be like "well I don't know if that's a good idea", you should REALLY man up and just say her to her face "Well that kinda makes me sad, but have a nice day. At least I made you smile ![]() Should really just be like "Oh one more thing, i forgot your number" and ask for it that way if youre going for a cashier, if theres a cute girl at say mcds or bk thats probably the best way to do it i think. If youre working with them thats basically a recipe for disaster though | ||
DoctorHelvetica
United States15034 Posts
On January 07 2014 03:31 farvacola wrote: Show nested quote + On January 07 2014 01:49 dravernor wrote: Oh god. I HATE it when I get hit on at work, or asked out. A few months ago I had a customer insist on giving me his number and taking mine (which was fake) because he wanted to take me out to dinner. I was a bit too polite to outright say no, especially since what he was currently buying from me was worth three times my paycheck, so after declining as politely as possible several times, I gave in and gave him my fake number. He came back the next week and asked why I had given him a fake number. Cringe. Eventually I told him as plainly as possible that I wasn't interested in going out to dinner etc with him and our relationship was to be strictly professional. He tried various arguments to sway me and eventually I used the line 'why don't you ask my boyfriend if it would be okay?' I haven't seen him since. So yeah, don't be that guy, don't make it awkward. This is why you need to forget being polite when romance comes a knocking and just be plain spoken. I've really appreciated the women in my life who have straight up said, "no, not gonna happen.". Saves everyone a lot of time and tribulation. That would be lovely but the onus is on others not to harass people in the first place | ||
SixStrings
Germany2046 Posts
On January 07 2014 03:31 farvacola wrote: Show nested quote + On January 07 2014 01:49 dravernor wrote: Oh god. I HATE it when I get hit on at work, or asked out. A few months ago I had a customer insist on giving me his number and taking mine (which was fake) because he wanted to take me out to dinner. I was a bit too polite to outright say no, especially since what he was currently buying from me was worth three times my paycheck, so after declining as politely as possible several times, I gave in and gave him my fake number. He came back the next week and asked why I had given him a fake number. Cringe. Eventually I told him as plainly as possible that I wasn't interested in going out to dinner etc with him and our relationship was to be strictly professional. He tried various arguments to sway me and eventually I used the line 'why don't you ask my boyfriend if it would be okay?' I haven't seen him since. So yeah, don't be that guy, don't make it awkward. This is why you need to forget being polite when romance comes a knocking and just be plain spoken. I've really appreciated the women in my life who have straight up said, "no, not gonna happen.". Saves everyone a lot of time and tribulation. This, ten times over. It's not polite to give a fake number, it's deceptive and rather cravenly. I'd much rather hear: 'Nope, you're too ugly.' than get humiliated by a fake number. If I can bring myself to ask someone out, surely it's not too much to ask for the girl to show some guts and be straight with me. | ||
rezoacken
Canada2719 Posts
On January 06 2014 19:46 Mikau wrote: Show nested quote + On January 06 2014 10:48 rezoacken wrote: On January 06 2014 08:33 Mikau wrote: After posting in this thread a bit the last week I've finally convinced myself to not worry too much about what can go wrong and just go for it. A couple of days ago I had a conversation with a girl that sold me cheese (ye lol). Because I still suck at this I went back the next day to ask her out. She had a day off that day and because I didn't want the trip to have been for nothing I asked her co-worker if he knew if she was single (she wasn't, and the mean look he gave me made me think he was the bf lol) . I realise this is 100% the wrong way to have approached the situation but it's more effort than I've put into meeting anyone in forever (as sad as that might sound) so I'm chalking it up as a win. I have a more concrete question though. On my way home from work I stepped into a small travel supermarket at the bus station, one of those where you spend approximately 15 seconds at checkout with the next person in line breathing down your neck. The cashier was supercute. How would you go about asking somebody out in a setting like this? There's no time for small talk and just straight up going can I have your number/want to grab a drink with me or something sounds like a really bad idea too. Any suggestions? First. Good job trying stuff and being pro active ! Now for your question you've got to realize cashier are used to guys leaving their numbers on small paper and stuff. Your best chance with this is to be truly genuine in your approach and super friendly upfront. Say hi, ask how the day's going and smile. Now if you're in a line you can't make this go long and since you're in public there's a lot of added pressure. So just be bold and genuine saying she's cute and would love a quick chat after her work 30min maximum. Ask if she's willing, if she's not no trouble and that if she agrees you'll wait at place X, next door just after her shift. If it's not possible ask for number instead. Now though, this is one that is very hard to pull off. They are not in their best mood, there is a lot of pressure around (being in public) and you almost gotta get a result in 1min. So a lot of it has to come with super confidence, a genuinely good aura about you and your physic. Super confidence and a genuinely good aura? This one seems to be a bit too advanced for my newfound confidence at the moment ![]() First step is waiting for her to work again though. I've gone to that supermarket after work a couple of times a week for the last month and this was the first time I've seen her. Maybe I should ask a coworker when she's working again? No. You should do what people have told you the next time you see her (if ever), without hesitation and forget it for now. Do not focus yourself on this one, live on and seek other opportunities or seize them as they present themselves. Do not become that guy that has an obsession over a waitress/cashier at his favorite place, which he has never spoke to but keep coming just for her. Going out of your way, insisting, interogating coworkers, etc. will probably just look creepy. Finally, recognize that cashiers aren't your only option, and probably one of the worst anyway. | ||
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