We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
I went on an 18 hour yacht cruise to the Bahamas with 25 chicks and had sex over 100 times, also all the chicks were famous actresses. Really tired me out. I'm staying at home from now on.
On July 13 2013 00:18 Shiori wrote: I just broke up with my girlfriend, or rather, she just broke up with me. She was 24 and I'm 21, so there was an age gap as well as the fact that I'm in university still while she works as a graphics design coordinator at a really huge bank headquarters. She also lives about 1.5 hours away from me (I live in a small town whereas she lives in the city; during university, I also live in that city, but since it's the summer I'm mostly back in my hometown) so she cited distance issues. She also said that she felt that I wasn't making her feel wanted enough and that I wasn't spending enough time with her, which is absolutely true since I definitely had my doubts about the relationship. That said, she was honestly the sweetest girl I've ever met and she treated me incredibly well (always thought of me, did things for me, bought me meaningful gifts for no reason, took an interest in my hobbies and life and supported me in my struggles without fail) and now that it's over I find myself missing her so much, as we had many wonderful memories.
From a rational point of view, I know that it's probably for the best. There was really no way that it was going to last, because the truth is that when we were in the relationship, I often found myself questioning how much I really liked her. Furthermore, she was looking to settle down in the next few years, whereas I still have a lot of school left to do and so I can't really do that. We both became much more attached to each other than we set out to be (initially it was just going to be not particularly serious and we'd just see how it goes) but when she broke up with me we told each other that we were starting to fall in love with each other. For her part, she said that she wanted to end things before she fell completely in love because she couldn't handle the loneliness of being so far away from me. Even when I offered to visit more often and take steps to improve things, she was pretty against it, and I suppose it's because it was too little, too late.
It's just really hard to get over it, honestly, because I can't stop thinking of all the wonderful memories we had together and of all the touching things she did for me. I wrote several thousand words in my journal the other day recounting the entirety of our relationship (which didn't last very long but felt more serious than it was) along with all the good things about her and the things I remember disliking. The trouble is that it's so hard to remember the things you didn't like now that you don't have them, but it's so hard to forget the things you did like now that they're gone; the former only bothers you when it's something you have, so you don't miss it when it's gone, but the latter is something you might not even realize until it's completely out of your reach.
I wish her nothing but the best; she truly deserves someone who can return her utter devotion and kindness. I wish I could have the chance to try again, but I know now that such a thing will never happen. For me, the hardest thing will be moving on and accepting that one of the most beautiful chapters of my life has ended. As someone who suffers from clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder, it's very hard for me to avoid relapsing in the aftermath of this breakup, especially since she offered me such support in dealing with those issues. I'll never forget her, though, and a month from now I'll reach out to her so that we can be friends again. We both agreed that if we ever broke up, we should make the effort to become friends again once the romantic feelings and longings have subsided.
I think I'm going to take a break from dating for awhile, though. I don't think I'll meet anyone quite that special for a long time, though perhaps the world will surprise me. For now, it's just sadness, regret, and nostalgia.
Update: last night I had a chat with this girl, and she confessed that she had been bullshitting me: the reason she broke up with me is because she was developing feelings for someone else. I suspected that this was the real reason from the start, given that her mannerisms were really suspect, and that her reasoning didn't make any sense. Anyhow, I gave her a piece of my mind insofar as she can lament me not treating her well enough or whatever, but that when push came to shove, she acted like a selfish child by trying to make it seem like I was doing something wrong rather than being upfront about having found another person. In that sense, she cared more about not having an awkward conversation than the amount of pain it caused me when she implied that I was treating her poorly, or that I could have done things better, or that it was just a matter of distance.
While she was very kind to me when we were together, there is a difference between being thoughtful toward another person during happy times and being kind in difficult times. There is nothing wrong with her developing feelings for someone else; I'm not jealous of that guy, and I don't begrudge her those feelings. I wish her the best. That said, lying and playing the victim is disgusting, immature, and self-centered. If you have feelings for someone else, own up to them: the relationship is ending because of you; it makes no sense to try to blame the other person to avoid making yourself look bad.
Integrity is always best tested by crisis. Eveidently, she wasn't as good a person as I thought. There were signs of her dishonest tendencies in general, now that I think back on the relationship as a whole, but I ignored them at the time. I'm glad we are no longer together, because it turned out that my young age wasn't the real problem. She was.
Edit: I made it very clear at the beginning of our relationship that I highly value honesty. In fact, I said that if either of us developed feelings for someone else, I would prefer that we be upfront about it, end the relationship, and move on. She gave me her promise that she would do that, and then she broke her word for the sake of convenience. It may seem petty to some, but I have absolutely no tolerance for people who behave so childishly.
...And now I'm back to feeling rather awful. We're back on speaking terms, as friends, and it turns out the guy she's into is in a long-term relationship and she has absolutely no chance with him. On the other hand, she made it really clear that we are pretty much not getting back together. So that's a bit depressing. This whole situation sorta triggered my (clinical) depression into a relapse, so now I'm in a really bizarre space. Quite problematic.
On July 29 2013 16:39 sob3k wrote: I went on an 18 hour yacht cruise to the Bahamas with 25 chicks and had sex over 100 times, also all the chicks were famous actresses. Really tired me out. I'm staying at home from now on.
Oh you did too? Yeah, I was really tired after that day. Sleep about 14 hours straight! LOL. Then I went on to day 2... ez brah.
On July 13 2013 00:18 Shiori wrote: I just broke up with my girlfriend, or rather, she just broke up with me. She was 24 and I'm 21, so there was an age gap as well as the fact that I'm in university still while she works as a graphics design coordinator at a really huge bank headquarters. She also lives about 1.5 hours away from me (I live in a small town whereas she lives in the city; during university, I also live in that city, but since it's the summer I'm mostly back in my hometown) so she cited distance issues. She also said that she felt that I wasn't making her feel wanted enough and that I wasn't spending enough time with her, which is absolutely true since I definitely had my doubts about the relationship. That said, she was honestly the sweetest girl I've ever met and she treated me incredibly well (always thought of me, did things for me, bought me meaningful gifts for no reason, took an interest in my hobbies and life and supported me in my struggles without fail) and now that it's over I find myself missing her so much, as we had many wonderful memories.
From a rational point of view, I know that it's probably for the best. There was really no way that it was going to last, because the truth is that when we were in the relationship, I often found myself questioning how much I really liked her. Furthermore, she was looking to settle down in the next few years, whereas I still have a lot of school left to do and so I can't really do that. We both became much more attached to each other than we set out to be (initially it was just going to be not particularly serious and we'd just see how it goes) but when she broke up with me we told each other that we were starting to fall in love with each other. For her part, she said that she wanted to end things before she fell completely in love because she couldn't handle the loneliness of being so far away from me. Even when I offered to visit more often and take steps to improve things, she was pretty against it, and I suppose it's because it was too little, too late.
It's just really hard to get over it, honestly, because I can't stop thinking of all the wonderful memories we had together and of all the touching things she did for me. I wrote several thousand words in my journal the other day recounting the entirety of our relationship (which didn't last very long but felt more serious than it was) along with all the good things about her and the things I remember disliking. The trouble is that it's so hard to remember the things you didn't like now that you don't have them, but it's so hard to forget the things you did like now that they're gone; the former only bothers you when it's something you have, so you don't miss it when it's gone, but the latter is something you might not even realize until it's completely out of your reach.
I wish her nothing but the best; she truly deserves someone who can return her utter devotion and kindness. I wish I could have the chance to try again, but I know now that such a thing will never happen. For me, the hardest thing will be moving on and accepting that one of the most beautiful chapters of my life has ended. As someone who suffers from clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder, it's very hard for me to avoid relapsing in the aftermath of this breakup, especially since she offered me such support in dealing with those issues. I'll never forget her, though, and a month from now I'll reach out to her so that we can be friends again. We both agreed that if we ever broke up, we should make the effort to become friends again once the romantic feelings and longings have subsided.
I think I'm going to take a break from dating for awhile, though. I don't think I'll meet anyone quite that special for a long time, though perhaps the world will surprise me. For now, it's just sadness, regret, and nostalgia.
Update: last night I had a chat with this girl, and she confessed that she had been bullshitting me: the reason she broke up with me is because she was developing feelings for someone else. I suspected that this was the real reason from the start, given that her mannerisms were really suspect, and that her reasoning didn't make any sense. Anyhow, I gave her a piece of my mind insofar as she can lament me not treating her well enough or whatever, but that when push came to shove, she acted like a selfish child by trying to make it seem like I was doing something wrong rather than being upfront about having found another person. In that sense, she cared more about not having an awkward conversation than the amount of pain it caused me when she implied that I was treating her poorly, or that I could have done things better, or that it was just a matter of distance.
While she was very kind to me when we were together, there is a difference between being thoughtful toward another person during happy times and being kind in difficult times. There is nothing wrong with her developing feelings for someone else; I'm not jealous of that guy, and I don't begrudge her those feelings. I wish her the best. That said, lying and playing the victim is disgusting, immature, and self-centered. If you have feelings for someone else, own up to them: the relationship is ending because of you; it makes no sense to try to blame the other person to avoid making yourself look bad.
Integrity is always best tested by crisis. Eveidently, she wasn't as good a person as I thought. There were signs of her dishonest tendencies in general, now that I think back on the relationship as a whole, but I ignored them at the time. I'm glad we are no longer together, because it turned out that my young age wasn't the real problem. She was.
Edit: I made it very clear at the beginning of our relationship that I highly value honesty. In fact, I said that if either of us developed feelings for someone else, I would prefer that we be upfront about it, end the relationship, and move on. She gave me her promise that she would do that, and then she broke her word for the sake of convenience. It may seem petty to some, but I have absolutely no tolerance for people who behave so childishly.
...And now I'm back to feeling rather awful. We're back on speaking terms, as friends, and it turns out the guy she's into is in a long-term relationship and she has absolutely no chance with him. On the other hand, she made it really clear that we are pretty much not getting back together. So that's a bit depressing. This whole situation sorta triggered my (clinical) depression into a relapse, so now I'm in a really bizarre space. Quite problematic.
On July 13 2013 00:18 Shiori wrote: I just broke up with my girlfriend, or rather, she just broke up with me. She was 24 and I'm 21, so there was an age gap as well as the fact that I'm in university still while she works as a graphics design coordinator at a really huge bank headquarters. She also lives about 1.5 hours away from me (I live in a small town whereas she lives in the city; during university, I also live in that city, but since it's the summer I'm mostly back in my hometown) so she cited distance issues. She also said that she felt that I wasn't making her feel wanted enough and that I wasn't spending enough time with her, which is absolutely true since I definitely had my doubts about the relationship. That said, she was honestly the sweetest girl I've ever met and she treated me incredibly well (always thought of me, did things for me, bought me meaningful gifts for no reason, took an interest in my hobbies and life and supported me in my struggles without fail) and now that it's over I find myself missing her so much, as we had many wonderful memories.
From a rational point of view, I know that it's probably for the best. There was really no way that it was going to last, because the truth is that when we were in the relationship, I often found myself questioning how much I really liked her. Furthermore, she was looking to settle down in the next few years, whereas I still have a lot of school left to do and so I can't really do that. We both became much more attached to each other than we set out to be (initially it was just going to be not particularly serious and we'd just see how it goes) but when she broke up with me we told each other that we were starting to fall in love with each other. For her part, she said that she wanted to end things before she fell completely in love because she couldn't handle the loneliness of being so far away from me. Even when I offered to visit more often and take steps to improve things, she was pretty against it, and I suppose it's because it was too little, too late.
It's just really hard to get over it, honestly, because I can't stop thinking of all the wonderful memories we had together and of all the touching things she did for me. I wrote several thousand words in my journal the other day recounting the entirety of our relationship (which didn't last very long but felt more serious than it was) along with all the good things about her and the things I remember disliking. The trouble is that it's so hard to remember the things you didn't like now that you don't have them, but it's so hard to forget the things you did like now that they're gone; the former only bothers you when it's something you have, so you don't miss it when it's gone, but the latter is something you might not even realize until it's completely out of your reach.
I wish her nothing but the best; she truly deserves someone who can return her utter devotion and kindness. I wish I could have the chance to try again, but I know now that such a thing will never happen. For me, the hardest thing will be moving on and accepting that one of the most beautiful chapters of my life has ended. As someone who suffers from clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder, it's very hard for me to avoid relapsing in the aftermath of this breakup, especially since she offered me such support in dealing with those issues. I'll never forget her, though, and a month from now I'll reach out to her so that we can be friends again. We both agreed that if we ever broke up, we should make the effort to become friends again once the romantic feelings and longings have subsided.
I think I'm going to take a break from dating for awhile, though. I don't think I'll meet anyone quite that special for a long time, though perhaps the world will surprise me. For now, it's just sadness, regret, and nostalgia.
Update: last night I had a chat with this girl, and she confessed that she had been bullshitting me: the reason she broke up with me is because she was developing feelings for someone else. I suspected that this was the real reason from the start, given that her mannerisms were really suspect, and that her reasoning didn't make any sense. Anyhow, I gave her a piece of my mind insofar as she can lament me not treating her well enough or whatever, but that when push came to shove, she acted like a selfish child by trying to make it seem like I was doing something wrong rather than being upfront about having found another person. In that sense, she cared more about not having an awkward conversation than the amount of pain it caused me when she implied that I was treating her poorly, or that I could have done things better, or that it was just a matter of distance.
While she was very kind to me when we were together, there is a difference between being thoughtful toward another person during happy times and being kind in difficult times. There is nothing wrong with her developing feelings for someone else; I'm not jealous of that guy, and I don't begrudge her those feelings. I wish her the best. That said, lying and playing the victim is disgusting, immature, and self-centered. If you have feelings for someone else, own up to them: the relationship is ending because of you; it makes no sense to try to blame the other person to avoid making yourself look bad.
Integrity is always best tested by crisis. Eveidently, she wasn't as good a person as I thought. There were signs of her dishonest tendencies in general, now that I think back on the relationship as a whole, but I ignored them at the time. I'm glad we are no longer together, because it turned out that my young age wasn't the real problem. She was.
Edit: I made it very clear at the beginning of our relationship that I highly value honesty. In fact, I said that if either of us developed feelings for someone else, I would prefer that we be upfront about it, end the relationship, and move on. She gave me her promise that she would do that, and then she broke her word for the sake of convenience. It may seem petty to some, but I have absolutely no tolerance for people who behave so childishly.
...And now I'm back to feeling rather awful. We're back on speaking terms, as friends, and it turns out the guy she's into is in a long-term relationship and she has absolutely no chance with him. On the other hand, she made it really clear that we are pretty much not getting back together. So that's a bit depressing. This whole situation sorta triggered my (clinical) depression into a relapse, so now I'm in a really bizarre space. Quite problematic.
On July 13 2013 00:18 Shiori wrote: I just broke up with my girlfriend, or rather, she just broke up with me. She was 24 and I'm 21, so there was an age gap as well as the fact that I'm in university still while she works as a graphics design coordinator at a really huge bank headquarters. She also lives about 1.5 hours away from me (I live in a small town whereas she lives in the city; during university, I also live in that city, but since it's the summer I'm mostly back in my hometown) so she cited distance issues. She also said that she felt that I wasn't making her feel wanted enough and that I wasn't spending enough time with her, which is absolutely true since I definitely had my doubts about the relationship. That said, she was honestly the sweetest girl I've ever met and she treated me incredibly well (always thought of me, did things for me, bought me meaningful gifts for no reason, took an interest in my hobbies and life and supported me in my struggles without fail) and now that it's over I find myself missing her so much, as we had many wonderful memories.
From a rational point of view, I know that it's probably for the best. There was really no way that it was going to last, because the truth is that when we were in the relationship, I often found myself questioning how much I really liked her. Furthermore, she was looking to settle down in the next few years, whereas I still have a lot of school left to do and so I can't really do that. We both became much more attached to each other than we set out to be (initially it was just going to be not particularly serious and we'd just see how it goes) but when she broke up with me we told each other that we were starting to fall in love with each other. For her part, she said that she wanted to end things before she fell completely in love because she couldn't handle the loneliness of being so far away from me. Even when I offered to visit more often and take steps to improve things, she was pretty against it, and I suppose it's because it was too little, too late.
It's just really hard to get over it, honestly, because I can't stop thinking of all the wonderful memories we had together and of all the touching things she did for me. I wrote several thousand words in my journal the other day recounting the entirety of our relationship (which didn't last very long but felt more serious than it was) along with all the good things about her and the things I remember disliking. The trouble is that it's so hard to remember the things you didn't like now that you don't have them, but it's so hard to forget the things you did like now that they're gone; the former only bothers you when it's something you have, so you don't miss it when it's gone, but the latter is something you might not even realize until it's completely out of your reach.
I wish her nothing but the best; she truly deserves someone who can return her utter devotion and kindness. I wish I could have the chance to try again, but I know now that such a thing will never happen. For me, the hardest thing will be moving on and accepting that one of the most beautiful chapters of my life has ended. As someone who suffers from clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder, it's very hard for me to avoid relapsing in the aftermath of this breakup, especially since she offered me such support in dealing with those issues. I'll never forget her, though, and a month from now I'll reach out to her so that we can be friends again. We both agreed that if we ever broke up, we should make the effort to become friends again once the romantic feelings and longings have subsided.
I think I'm going to take a break from dating for awhile, though. I don't think I'll meet anyone quite that special for a long time, though perhaps the world will surprise me. For now, it's just sadness, regret, and nostalgia.
Update: last night I had a chat with this girl, and she confessed that she had been bullshitting me: the reason she broke up with me is because she was developing feelings for someone else. I suspected that this was the real reason from the start, given that her mannerisms were really suspect, and that her reasoning didn't make any sense. Anyhow, I gave her a piece of my mind insofar as she can lament me not treating her well enough or whatever, but that when push came to shove, she acted like a selfish child by trying to make it seem like I was doing something wrong rather than being upfront about having found another person. In that sense, she cared more about not having an awkward conversation than the amount of pain it caused me when she implied that I was treating her poorly, or that I could have done things better, or that it was just a matter of distance.
While she was very kind to me when we were together, there is a difference between being thoughtful toward another person during happy times and being kind in difficult times. There is nothing wrong with her developing feelings for someone else; I'm not jealous of that guy, and I don't begrudge her those feelings. I wish her the best. That said, lying and playing the victim is disgusting, immature, and self-centered. If you have feelings for someone else, own up to them: the relationship is ending because of you; it makes no sense to try to blame the other person to avoid making yourself look bad.
Integrity is always best tested by crisis. Eveidently, she wasn't as good a person as I thought. There were signs of her dishonest tendencies in general, now that I think back on the relationship as a whole, but I ignored them at the time. I'm glad we are no longer together, because it turned out that my young age wasn't the real problem. She was.
Edit: I made it very clear at the beginning of our relationship that I highly value honesty. In fact, I said that if either of us developed feelings for someone else, I would prefer that we be upfront about it, end the relationship, and move on. She gave me her promise that she would do that, and then she broke her word for the sake of convenience. It may seem petty to some, but I have absolutely no tolerance for people who behave so childishly.
...And now I'm back to feeling rather awful. We're back on speaking terms, as friends, and it turns out the guy she's into is in a long-term relationship and she has absolutely no chance with him. On the other hand, she made it really clear that we are pretty much not getting back together. So that's a bit depressing. This whole situation sorta triggered my (clinical) depression into a relapse, so now I'm in a really bizarre space. Quite problematic.
because if not, tell her you'd prefer to not speak, loose her number and ignore when she reaches out to you.
OK I'm not like that guy. I'm doing a little better today in terms of accepting that it's over while not really chatting much with her. That said, I suffer from depression (which is way worse than any sort of breakup pain) and I really do appreciate having her to talk to sometimes. Cutting myself off completely is really just not a good idea for my mental health at the moment. It's too extreme.
If you're anything like me Shiori a cutoff is good. I find the hope more painful than the loss, and that's perpetuated through contact. Spoken as a fellow depressive
Talking to her might feel good at the time but for your long term health its best to cutoff from toxic people/people hindering you furthering yourself as a person.
I am so torn right now. I met a very interesting gurl on the internet-dating farce. We have sent emails for some weeks and then continued by instant messaging. Last weak i asked her out and she said yes please, but first possible date is around mid august. Which is better then a no, right? Now, however, the worst case scenario has started. Three weeks are a long time, there is no reason to believe we will chat less suddenly. And the topics have already started to spiral into flirting and teasing. By the time we actually meet, pretty much all interesting topics will have been talked. And if we just don't click face to face, this will be the biggest let down possible.
if the girl is worth seeing then you won't run out of stuff to talk about
When there is two people properly invested in a conversation, it can be endless.
Problems occur when one side is asking all the questions or making all the comments and the other side is merely observing/commenting and not adding any new content.
On July 30 2013 07:44 Broetchenholer wrote: I am so torn right now. I met a very interesting gurl on the internet-dating farce. We have sent emails for some weeks and then continued by instant messaging. Last weak i asked her out and she said yes please, but first possible date is around mid august. Which is better then a no, right? Now, however, the worst case scenario has started. Three weeks are a long time, there is no reason to believe we will chat less suddenly. And the topics have already started to spiral into flirting and teasing. By the time we actually meet, pretty much all interesting topics will have been talked. And if we just don't click face to face, this will be the biggest let down possible.
Bro, you will think of things to talk about when the moment presents itself. Don't go overboard in the beginning though, be cutesy, but don't spill all your secrets just yet. You want to have some small, medium, and big ones in the bag for when you meet face to face. Also, remember, if the date goes well, wait a week and do it again, and don't fuck on the first date. 3 weeks isn't that long so long as you make sure that you talk like you were, but don't give away everything about you immidiately.
EDIT: Also, I feel like I took the Chadissilent comment way to seriously given how lolz everyone else is taking it. I need to stop thinking everything on the internetz is true .
On July 30 2013 07:44 Broetchenholer wrote: I am so torn right now. I met a very interesting gurl on the internet-dating farce. We have sent emails for some weeks and then continued by instant messaging. Last weak i asked her out and she said yes please, but first possible date is around mid august. Which is better then a no, right? Now, however, the worst case scenario has started. Three weeks are a long time, there is no reason to believe we will chat less suddenly. And the topics have already started to spiral into flirting and teasing. By the time we actually meet, pretty much all interesting topics will have been talked. And if we just don't click face to face, this will be the biggest let down possible.
Bro, you will think of things to talk about when the moment presents itself. Don't go overboard in the beginning though, be cutesy, but don't spill all your secrets just yet. You want to have some small, medium, and big ones in the bag for when you meet face to face. Also, remember, if the date goes well, wait a week and do it again, and don't fuck on the first date. 3 weeks isn't that long so long as you make sure that you talk like you were, but don't give away everything about you immidiately.
EDIT: Also, I feel like I took the Chadissilent comment way to seriously given how lolz everyone else is taking it. I need to stop thinking everything on the internetz is true .
Joke's on them if they don't believe it. I have a medium-distance model gf and we were in the mountains for the weekend. I still can't hold my dick when I pee.
On July 30 2013 07:44 Broetchenholer wrote: I am so torn right now. I met a very interesting gurl on the internet-dating farce. We have sent emails for some weeks and then continued by instant messaging. Last weak i asked her out and she said yes please, but first possible date is around mid august. Which is better then a no, right? Now, however, the worst case scenario has started. Three weeks are a long time, there is no reason to believe we will chat less suddenly. And the topics have already started to spiral into flirting and teasing. By the time we actually meet, pretty much all interesting topics will have been talked. And if we just don't click face to face, this will be the biggest let down possible.
dude never ever talk to a girl you are interested in online/text more than real life. You need to play it really slow until you meet and get to know her, then you can interact with her online/phone/skype whatever.
On July 30 2013 07:41 VayneAuthority wrote: Talking to her might feel good at the time but for your long term health its best to cutoff from toxic people/people hindering you furthering yourself as a person.
Its short term pleasure vs long term pleasure.
Well she's not toxic. She's a pretty good shoulder to lean on tbh.
On July 30 2013 07:41 VayneAuthority wrote: Talking to her might feel good at the time but for your long term health its best to cutoff from toxic people/people hindering you furthering yourself as a person.
Its short term pleasure vs long term pleasure.
Well she's not toxic. She's a pretty good shoulder to lean on tbh.
Of course she is now, right now she feels like the best shoulder to lean on because she was yours to lean on before. I'm not gonna say she is some crazy hoe-bag dipshit aweful person who you need to excommunicate from your life, because she obviously isn't a bad person; you spent a good bit of time with this girl because she was kind to you and compatible with you. The reason people are telling you to cut it is because if you continue to remain dependent on that shoulder you may never get over her, and that will continue to make you depressed longer than this shoulder to lean on will make you happy right now. Especially if you meet someone you think is attractive and you both are mutually attracted, having them find out you talk to your ex is a big nono, even mentioning your ex is a big nono for at least a solid couple months of dating exclusively. You need to regain independence even though it is painful Shiori.
EPT
.
