Dating: How's your luck? - Page 234

On July 31 2013 00:38 LaNague wrote:
whats wrong with girls banging on the first date? At least you know they like to have sex, you should be happy about that.

On July 31 2013 00:44 QuanticHawk wrote:

it is a silly idea born of conservative views on sex and gendered double standards, but sit back and watch the mildly sexist explanations fly!

On July 31 2013 00:44 QuanticHawk wrote:

it is a silly idea born of conservative views on sex and gendered double standards, but sit back and watch the mildly sexist explanations fly!

On July 31 2013 00:38 LaNague wrote:
whats wrong with girls banging on the first date? At least you know they like to have sex, you should be happy about that.

On July 31 2013 01:48 Wombat_NI wrote:
Incidentally, does anybody here not really care for sex?

I find it pretty boring (inb4 'you're doing it wrong)

On July 31 2013 01:49 VayneAuthority wrote:


depends what you mean, everything sexual related or just sex

Because I find intercourse a lot more boring then foreplay

On July 31 2013 01:47 LaNague wrote:
liking sex has nothing to do with having a shallow personality or being "cheap".

On July 31 2013 01:49 Wombat_NI wrote:

Pretty much the whole gamut I guess.

On July 31 2013 01:17 docvoc wrote:

No that's not why . The reason why is because when you want to have a relationship with someone sex is going to be involved, and you should enjoy it, sex is fun, it's intimate, and most of all, it's fucking fun. The reason I say don't have it on the first date is because from the first date to the third date is a time when you should be feeling each other out, getting to know each other, that way, when you share the experience on maybe the 3rd or 4th date if things are all going well, you enjoy the other person in a more intimate way. You've known them 3-4x longer at that point as a partner even if it's just a week or so that has gone by.
It's not that you don't want a girl who fucks on the first date, but you don't want to seem so sexually needy that you only asked the girl out to fuck her; that's not a date, that's a booty call, which is not how you want your relationship to start out as. If she's down, great, you know that on the third date she's gonna do it with you, and maybe on the second even if you want that, but you don't want a date to be a booty call, those are two different things.

NOW it's time for the archaic haha, but I stand by what I say here, but no one else has to accept this part; Sex is giving someone else a part of you and letting them keep it, you don't get to take what you present to them back - whether that be your image naked, the feeling of the act, any of that, you can't erase any of it from their memory. If you give that present out to everyone, you lose the intimacy of it and the love behind it, you don't just give yourself away to anyone who wants a peice, you give yourself away to the myriad of people who will come back ask for another piece and who you'd want to keep coming back for another piece of you. No one has to accept this part though, that's a personal philosophy.

On July 31 2013 01:27 VayneAuthority wrote:
yea STDs/pregnancy is what keeps me in line the most. Hate using condoms so I don't touch girls until I know them pretty well

On July 31 2013 01:24 chadissilent wrote:

Had a pretty bad scare when I hooked up with a girl, and she informs me I should get checked after the dome broke. I prefer to know what I'm getting involved in before I'm balls deep in a chick.

On July 31 2013 01:39 Cirqueenflex wrote:


what's wrong with (often times underaged) girls approaching you in the bar, feeling their way up your crotch with their hand and whispering in your ear that they would like to continue it with their mouth? At least you know they like to give head, you should be happy about that. If you are looking for a cheap girl to have some short-sighted fun with that is (believe it or not, it actually is not that uncommon).

Please keep in mind that everyone has their own opinion about what they are looking for and how a relationship should look like; if your sort of relationship is a series of booty calls, nothing wrong with it, if it is long walks in the park without touching the partner for the first 4 months, that is just as fine. If you are the boy-toy of a girl, no problem, if she trades her body for your money, no problem either. As long as it makes both you and your partner happy in the intensity, length, form and intimacy of the relationship, it is just the right way to do it. Relationships are to make both of you happy after all.

And it isn't arcaic to not wish for the girl to jump into bed with you on the first date, it is just a different approach. Just like not everyone needs to go out there and apply PUA scemes to get a girlfriend, as the PUA is mostly based around just getting laid, not about finding a girl that you really get along with. That does not mean that you cannot find a girlfriend with PUA methods and that you cannot learn anything from how to appeal to the woman you take an interest in and want to get to know, but it primarily caters to a different approach. As others pointed out, most people try to find a best-friend-forever-Soulmate-Girlfriend, and sex does get in the way of it, as while it does get you much closer, you probably won't find out for quite some time if it is the only thing holding you together, and you end up just as empty as you started (it will end eventually if it is just based on sex), blinded by the physical appeal, but a bit more sad. Even though it might have been a fun ride.

I guess what I'm trying to say is - have respect for different opinions on relationships and life styles. Don't dismiss one as archaic or the other as shallow, they are both right as long as they make both partners happy short-term and long term.

On July 31 2013 01:50 Cirqueenflex wrote:


liking sex does not make you cheap, but hopping into bed with a stranger on the first chance you get probably does.

On July 31 2013 02:15 QuanticHawk wrote:


Reread that all. You're a smart dude. Those are all ideas and opinions shaped by a conservative view on sex and it is obvious! The booty call thing is silly. Booty calls are someone comes over, you get off, they get out.

Not that there is anything particularly wrong with having a more conservative view point as long as you're not throwing double standards out there for prospective partners and stuff, but that is def conservative thinking!





Same thing for either of you guys since it is basically the same argument: one date or three or five, how do you know how clean she is short of asking for a notarized test receipt? And even then, until you've had the whole exclusive chat, how do you know she's not seeing other dudes?



What does girls at a bar have anything to do with sex on a first date? Why are they underage?? That whole first paragraph and a lot of your post is dripping with dislike for people, particularly women, who like sex. Yeesh. How do you call people who enjoy sex cheap, and then complain about not being judged lol



Again, what is with the straw manning about hopping into bed with a stranger?? Not that this kind of judgement is any better, but we're talking about going on a date with someone, enjoying your night, and sleeping together.

From your perspective, whose job is it to make sure to make sure you don't have sex on the first date? Is a guy bad if he wants it?

On July 31 2013 02:29 QuanticHawk wrote:
That's totally fine and valid, and that's a hell of a lot better reason than the ones I was expecting to see. Faith momentarily restored in people, hell yeah!!

my point still stands: you go out with someone a few times and you want to sleep with them, how do you know they're clean, other than going by their word, which is the same as you'd do if you were sleeping with them at the end of your first date?

I mean I wouldn't do the no condom thing until the exclusive chat, so you're a bit different than the other dude haha. But that is still pretty similar. You don't really know how trust worthy someone is, even after a few weeks or a month of dating them.

And it isn't arcaic to not wish for the girl to jump into bed with you on the first date, it is just a different approach. Just like not everyone needs to go out there and apply PUA scemes to get a girlfriend, as the PUA is mostly based around just getting laid, not about finding a girl that you really get along with. That does not mean that you cannot find a girlfriend with PUA methods and that you cannot learn anything from how to appeal to the woman you take an interest in and want to get to know, but it primarily caters to a different approach. As others pointed out, most people try to find a best-friend-forever-Soulmate-Girlfriend, and sex does get in the way of it, as while it does get you much closer, you probably won't find out for quite some time if it is the only thing holding you together, and you end up just as empty as you started (it will end eventually if it is just based on sex), blinded by the physical appeal, but a bit more sad. Even though it might have been a fun ride

On July 31 2013 01:48 Wombat_NI wrote:
Incidentally, does anybody here not really care for sex?

I find it pretty boring (inb4 'you're doing it wrong)