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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
farvacola
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States18820 Posts
July 30 2013 17:49 GMT
#4681
I've only had a one night stand once, and it made me feel gross and set a bad precedent for a relationship that was already in trouble before it began. This is just my personal experience though; there are plenty of women out there capable of sleeping with you on the first date that are prime relationship material. It really just depends on which way you swing.
"when the Dead Kennedys found out they had skinhead fans, they literally wrote a song titled 'Nazi Punks Fuck Off'"
Overpowered
Profile Joined January 2011
Czech Republic764 Posts
July 30 2013 18:21 GMT
#4682
I will give my 2 cents on the topic.

I wouldn't go into relationship with a girl who has to have sex on first date, having sex with girl on first date would make her less of a 'girlfriend material' in my eyes and I don't think it's wrong of me to think that. I wouldn't sleep with anybody on first date though, I am not hypocrite. I simply have certain values and views and I want my partner to have compatible ones. Otherwise the relationship doesn't have very bright future, don't you think?

I am not saying that such girls are whores and I don't think that waiting with sex until marriage is reasonable thing to do (quite the opposite, in fact). If some girls enjoy and value sex so much, well, today's society allows them and even encourages them to do so and I respect that, everyone should do their best to be happy. These girls just usually happen to not be my type. They usually (with usually meaning most of the time based on my experiences) have different outlook on life than I do. They will probably find their happiness elsewhere anyways.

This whole thing is just matter of preference. It's the same like "I only date blonds" or "I only date muscular guys" or whatever, really. Nobody ever calls anybody out on that. Everybody has right to date only people of certain hair color or complexion. But suddenly, in this increasingly anti-conservative and unhealthily feminist society, if somebody doesn't like to date girls who hold certain views on sex, he is being labeled as oppressive, archaic, reactionary, misogynistic, anti-feminist, evil, somebody who would like his wife to be his slave etc. People are crazy sometimes.

I just want to say that conservative ≠ wrong. Having old-fashioned values doesn't automatically make you misogynist. I prefer women who are feminine and act virtuously at least on first date. If you disagree, fine. But I think that doesn't make me terrible person.That's all I wanted to say
Just another gold Protoss...
TFNxOmega
Profile Joined June 2009
United States17 Posts
July 30 2013 18:36 GMT
#4683
On July 31 2013 00:31 Broetchenholer wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 31 2013 00:09 VayneAuthority wrote:
On July 30 2013 22:29 TFNxOmega wrote:
Wellp, my luck isnt so hot. Me and a friend admitted to each other we had mad feelings for each other, that are more than just physical, after months of getting close. this whole week shes been wanting me to come up and see her and teasing me with shit like "oh, and i really wish you were here to share my bed with". Anyways, i go up and two other friends are there so im like whatever. towards end of the night we are alone and i go in for a kiss and BAM! rejection x.x #friendzoned? was surprised because she tells me she likes me a lot and is all flirty quite often... i really like her but i guess its best if i just said fuck it unless someone wanna throw a brotha some advice on where to go from here


uh that's one of the most strangest things I've ever heard. Tell her to see a psychologist.


"Uh, i wanted to write the sentence "oh, and i really wish you were here to share my bed with" to john, sry brian". I can't really come up with an explanation what happened there. Was she angry at you, or surprised?



we talked today, i called her a flirt and now shes going off on me about how she wouldnt ever act like she liked someone when she doesntt etc etc etc. i think shes pissed :3
Word to Big Bird
VayneAuthority
Profile Joined October 2012
United States8983 Posts
July 30 2013 18:41 GMT
#4684
On July 31 2013 03:36 TFNxOmega wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 31 2013 00:31 Broetchenholer wrote:
On July 31 2013 00:09 VayneAuthority wrote:
On July 30 2013 22:29 TFNxOmega wrote:
Wellp, my luck isnt so hot. Me and a friend admitted to each other we had mad feelings for each other, that are more than just physical, after months of getting close. this whole week shes been wanting me to come up and see her and teasing me with shit like "oh, and i really wish you were here to share my bed with". Anyways, i go up and two other friends are there so im like whatever. towards end of the night we are alone and i go in for a kiss and BAM! rejection x.x #friendzoned? was surprised because she tells me she likes me a lot and is all flirty quite often... i really like her but i guess its best if i just said fuck it unless someone wanna throw a brotha some advice on where to go from here


uh that's one of the most strangest things I've ever heard. Tell her to see a psychologist.


"Uh, i wanted to write the sentence "oh, and i really wish you were here to share my bed with" to john, sry brian". I can't really come up with an explanation what happened there. Was she angry at you, or surprised?



we talked today, i called her a flirt and now shes going off on me about how she wouldnt ever act like she liked someone when she doesntt etc etc etc. i think shes pissed :3


yea you're dealing with a grade A insecure psycho unless you are lying about any of this.
I come in for the scraps
chadissilent
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Canada1187 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-30 19:08:35
July 30 2013 18:44 GMT
#4685
On July 31 2013 02:29 QuanticHawk wrote:
That's totally fine and valid, and that's a hell of a lot better reason than the ones I was expecting to see. Faith momentarily restored in people, hell yeah!!

my point still stands: you go out with someone a few times and you want to sleep with them, how do you know they're clean, other than going by their word, which is the same as you'd do if you were sleeping with them at the end of your first date?

I mean I wouldn't do the no condom thing until the exclusive chat, so you're a bit different than the other dude haha. But that is still pretty similar. You don't really know how trust worthy someone is, even after a few weeks or a month of dating them.

You can usually get a decent read on a person after a few dates. There are a decent number of girls I would have fucked at first sight but ended up staying away from after I got to know them a little better. If a girl is a pretty legit person, you can trust she'll make the right calls even if she's seeing other people. She should get the same sense with me, and a girl without any foresight can get herself in a lot of trouble.
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32043 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-30 19:22:43
July 30 2013 19:22 GMT
#4686
On July 31 2013 02:33 VayneAuthority wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 31 2013 02:29 QuanticHawk wrote:
That's totally fine and valid, and that's a hell of a lot better reason than the ones I was expecting to see. Faith momentarily restored in people, hell yeah!!

my point still stands: you go out with someone a few times and you want to sleep with them, how do you know they're clean, other than going by their word, which is the same as you'd do if you were sleeping with them at the end of your first date?

I mean I wouldn't do the no condom thing until the exclusive chat, so you're a bit different than the other dude haha. But that is still pretty similar. You don't really know how trust worthy someone is, even after a few weeks or a month of dating them.


I think you are mixing up my posts and some one else's. I would never sleep with some one if I don't know that they are clean. I don't trust random women.

I disagree with the last point, my field of study is psychology so personally it's easy for me to see whether some one is trustworthy or not after a while.

If I can't figure it out then they are too secretive to be worth a relationship


So you have never ever had a girl lie to you at all??

The point is, short of asking for proof of that clean test, screening calls to see that she is sincere about not seeing other dudes, it is a leap of faith. Granted if you go on five dates you're gonna know a bit more about someone than you would going on one, but in the grand scheme of things, you still know shit in both those instances. That is the point.

On July 31 2013 03:44 chadissilent wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 31 2013 02:29 QuanticHawk wrote:
That's totally fine and valid, and that's a hell of a lot better reason than the ones I was expecting to see. Faith momentarily restored in people, hell yeah!!

my point still stands: you go out with someone a few times and you want to sleep with them, how do you know they're clean, other than going by their word, which is the same as you'd do if you were sleeping with them at the end of your first date?

I mean I wouldn't do the no condom thing until the exclusive chat, so you're a bit different than the other dude haha. But that is still pretty similar. You don't really know how trust worthy someone is, even after a few weeks or a month of dating them.

You can usually get a decent read on a person after a few dates. There are a decent number of girls I would have fucked at first sight but ended up staying away from after I got to know them a little better. If a girl is a pretty legit person, you can trust she'll make the right calls even if she's seeing other people. She should get the same sense with me, and a girl without any foresight can get herself in a lot of trouble.


This is pretty much the same thing I said to the other dude who had a similar comment. It's a leap of faith early on, and even after you've been dating a while. There really isn't much of a difference in how much you know someone after one date vs five. You can tell superficial stuff--do we have similar likes and dislikes, similar humor, etc etc... but trustworthiness? You really can't gauge it on anything after five dates, a month, etc. That's something you can really only tell with time.

On July 31 2013 03:21 Overpowered wrote:
I will give my 2 cents on the topic.

I wouldn't go into relationship with a girl who has to have sex on first date, having sex with girl on first date would make her less of a 'girlfriend material' in my eyes and I don't think it's wrong of me to think that. I wouldn't sleep with anybody on first date though, I am not hypocrite. I simply have certain values and views and I want my partner to have compatible ones. Otherwise the relationship doesn't have very bright future, don't you think?

The important part is that you hold yourself to the same standard! Unfortunately. this is one thing that more than enough dudes do not share with you in this regard. Cool for them to sleep around and stuff, but trip out over a girl who has had sex on a first date, who has had casual sex or one night stands, etc. Everyone has friends like this. There are a bunch of girl blogs on this site with dudes who bug over shit like that.

It isn't wrong at all to be conservative. Just don't say shit like that one guy did about people who have sex early being cheap. That's judgemental stuff! And find people who share your point of view, and dont demonize those who dont
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
chadissilent
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Canada1187 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-30 20:58:35
July 30 2013 20:55 GMT
#4687
It's not hard to get a pretty decent read on people after a few dates though. Beyond that, I agree -- it is a giant leap of faith, but I'd rather put that faith in someone I've had a chance to read. Like I said, I've almost been burned so even if its just a small precautionary measure it wouldn't hurt.
TXRaunchy
Profile Joined June 2013
United States131 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-30 21:12:03
July 30 2013 21:11 GMT
#4688
On July 31 2013 03:21 Overpowered wrote:
I will give my 2 cents on the topic.

I wouldn't go into relationship with a girl who has to have sex on first date, having sex with girl on first date would make her less of a 'girlfriend material' in my eyes and I don't think it's wrong of me to think that. I wouldn't sleep with anybody on first date though, I am not hypocrite. I simply have certain values and views and I want my partner to have compatible ones. Otherwise the relationship doesn't have very bright future, don't you think?


That's what you call a fling. No worries. Have fun and that's it.
Trust me, I have plenty of these but they are not the type to settle down with at all.
Do this early college and begin to know what type of traits you would like spouse to have.

As of now, I have been with the same girl for 5 years and my future fiance and wife when I ask her next month.
And I am 24 with a good job and a place of my own. And play starcraft.
ComaDose
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada10352 Posts
July 30 2013 21:32 GMT
#4689
On July 31 2013 06:11 TXRaunchy wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 31 2013 03:21 Overpowered wrote:
I will give my 2 cents on the topic.

I wouldn't go into relationship with a girl who has to have sex on first date, having sex with girl on first date would make her less of a 'girlfriend material' in my eyes and I don't think it's wrong of me to think that. I wouldn't sleep with anybody on first date though, I am not hypocrite. I simply have certain values and views and I want my partner to have compatible ones. Otherwise the relationship doesn't have very bright future, don't you think?


That's what you call a fling. No worries. Have fun and that's it.
Trust me, I have plenty of these but they are not the type to settle down with at all.
Do this early college and begin to know what type of traits you would like spouse to have.

As of now, I have been with the same girl for 5 years and my future fiance and wife when I ask her next month.
And I am 24 with a good job and a place of my own. And play starcraft.

lol you are that type and you dont sound so bad.
BW pros training sc2 is like kiss making a dub step album.
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland24390 Posts
July 30 2013 22:33 GMT
#4690
On July 31 2013 02:37 aTnClouD wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 31 2013 01:48 Wombat_NI wrote:
Incidentally, does anybody here not really care for sex?

I find it pretty boring (inb4 'you're doing it wrong)

I thought the same until I started nofap 2 and half months ago. Now sex feels great.

In what sense has it improved? I'm quite intrigued, but tbh I'd rather hear from you whose posting I enjoy than some of the ridiculous crap over on r/nofap or whatever.
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
biology]major
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States2253 Posts
July 31 2013 01:40 GMT
#4691
its like if you go for a week without jerkin its great, and if you do it daily its not that great... kinda common sense :p
Question.?
aTnClouD
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Italy2428 Posts
July 31 2013 01:44 GMT
#4692
On July 31 2013 07:33 Wombat_NI wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 31 2013 02:37 aTnClouD wrote:
On July 31 2013 01:48 Wombat_NI wrote:
Incidentally, does anybody here not really care for sex?

I find it pretty boring (inb4 'you're doing it wrong)

I thought the same until I started nofap 2 and half months ago. Now sex feels great.

In what sense has it improved? I'm quite intrigued, but tbh I'd rather hear from you whose posting I enjoy than some of the ridiculous crap over on r/nofap or whatever.

In syntesis my penis has sensitized again to stimuli that aren't my hand and my brain doesn't relate orgasm with porn anymore. I'm also way hornier and have more energy hence my sex experience has improved a lot.
http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g64/hunter692007/kruemelmonsteryn0.gif
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
July 31 2013 02:22 GMT
#4693
Hey Hawk, I just wanted to say that the reason I have a conservative view on the subject is for two reasons:
1. Is because of Woody'sgamertag. I remember his discourses on sex in his CoD videos. The guy is kinda like a dad to a lot of the CoD scene, and he gives sounds advice. A lot of what I said was cut and pasted from him honestly, and I've stuck with the philosophy because it has served me well.
2. Is because I'm in a serious relationship, and I can say that the experience has also made me cherish intimacy in a more sophisticated way (or I like to think so LOL, I'm so pretentious).

Now for the hipocrisy part. When I got with my now gf, we spent the first several weeks pretty much talking non-stop and hooking up. There was no first date, there was nothing like that at all. That makes me a huge hypocrite, and I'll admit that if I weren't in a relationship, I'd probably be the exact guy that would take the 1 night stand girl and turn her into a girlfriend. So yeah, I'm a huge hypocrite XD.

Also, Wombat, I really, really enjoy sex, but not enjoying it or finding it boring doesn't make you weird at all. There are a lot of guys (some famous youtubers come to mind) that have openly admitted to enjoying blowjobs and handjobs to sex. Especially if sex becomes routine or is a fairly monotonous style (like only doing missionary every time until you get off, instead of doing something crazy like XYZ insane move every once in a while to spice things up) sex can be not fun. The key to making sex fun is to spice things up and get with a person who enjoys that spice.

Cloud, 2 things. One, you must teach me your italian penis-growth inducing ways. Two, doesn't the extra sensitization make you cum earlier? Wouldn't that make it less fun in total?
User was warned for too many mimes.
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland24390 Posts
July 31 2013 06:40 GMT
#4694
On July 31 2013 11:22 docvoc wrote:
Hey Hawk, I just wanted to say that the reason I have a conservative view on the subject is for two reasons:
1. Is because of Woody'sgamertag. I remember his discourses on sex in his CoD videos. The guy is kinda like a dad to a lot of the CoD scene, and he gives sounds advice. A lot of what I said was cut and pasted from him honestly, and I've stuck with the philosophy because it has served me well.
2. Is because I'm in a serious relationship, and I can say that the experience has also made me cherish intimacy in a more sophisticated way (or I like to think so LOL, I'm so pretentious).

Now for the hipocrisy part. When I got with my now gf, we spent the first several weeks pretty much talking non-stop and hooking up. There was no first date, there was nothing like that at all. That makes me a huge hypocrite, and I'll admit that if I weren't in a relationship, I'd probably be the exact guy that would take the 1 night stand girl and turn her into a girlfriend. So yeah, I'm a huge hypocrite XD.

Also, Wombat, I really, really enjoy sex, but not enjoying it or finding it boring doesn't make you weird at all. There are a lot of guys (some famous youtubers come to mind) that have openly admitted to enjoying blowjobs and handjobs to sex. Especially if sex becomes routine or is a fairly monotonous style (like only doing missionary every time until you get off, instead of doing something crazy like XYZ insane move every once in a while to spice things up) sex can be not fun. The key to making sex fun is to spice things up and get with a person who enjoys that spice.

Cloud, 2 things. One, you must teach me your italian penis-growth inducing ways. Two, doesn't the extra sensitization make you cum earlier? Wouldn't that make it less fun in total?

I don't know, it's just sort of crept up on me. I think I managed to get myself annoyed at how over-sexualised a lot of society is, seeing people reading magazines wanting to know who was fucking who and subconsciously that's affected my drive or something. I think it's also a bit of wasted youth when i didn't really play the field, and now I kind of can't Argh the neurosis!

I don't really see the issue with sex early doors/first date, or not. I just see it as another form of intimacy, akin to confiding in someone. Some people are more comfortable being open early on, some not so but both are perfectly legitimate approaches to take.
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
aTnClouD
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Italy2428 Posts
July 31 2013 15:43 GMT
#4695
On July 31 2013 11:22 docvoc wrote:
Cloud, 2 things. One, you must teach me your italian penis-growth inducing ways. Two, doesn't the extra sensitization make you cum earlier? Wouldn't that make it less fun in total?

I had the opposite issue, like not being able to come for 50 minutes and making my gf cry out of frustration a few times because of this while we were having sex. I would get bored and I faked that I was enjoying the intercourse a good 90% of the times it happened. Now I last less and enjoy it more and it's a great improvement for me. I still haven't met a girl who likes to be fucked continuously for an hour and even if she was my girl I couldn't care less because my right to enjoy sex would be equally important as hers.
http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g64/hunter692007/kruemelmonsteryn0.gif
ComaDose
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada10352 Posts
July 31 2013 15:57 GMT
#4696
that brag post is not thinly vieled
BW pros training sc2 is like kiss making a dub step album.
govie
Profile Blog Joined November 2012
9334 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-31 16:06:44
July 31 2013 16:06 GMT
#4697
Got a high winrate with bitches.. they dig me^^

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]
The two NBA teams in states with legal weed are called the Nuggets and the Blazers...
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
July 31 2013 16:14 GMT
#4698
On August 01 2013 00:57 ComaDose wrote:
that brag post is not thinly vieled

It actually can be an issue, so it doesn't have to be a brag post, there are people I know that had that issue actually.

Off that subject and onto another, what is the consensus here on Promise Rings?
User was warned for too many mimes.
chadissilent
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Canada1187 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-31 16:42:17
July 31 2013 16:41 GMT
#4699
Gay as fuck. What are you promising?
AeroGear
Profile Joined July 2009
Canada652 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-31 17:04:30
July 31 2013 16:48 GMT
#4700
Your GF will be just as unsatified when you blow your load and roll over after 3 swings than when you dont after 1 hour of ramming her. Dont jerk off so often or dont use sand paper and you wont lose sensitivity or arrousal...

Going 1 week jack/sex free is "fine/unfortunate" and happens every so often but I dont see the point of holding out any longer unless you have very low libido. Just as you get hornier/more sensitive, your gf's vag gets tighter as well. A dangerously pleasant combinatiin...!
Driven by hate, fueled by rage
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