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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On July 15 2013 08:41 AlphaMan wrote:
I feel like this thread would be better if there were a few "established" people who are good with women who gave out advice. Else it is just one socially awkward person giving advice to another socially awkward person. Kind of defeats the purpose?
You're only saying that because of your name 
But in all seriousness, what would make someone good with women? A long relationship with the intention of marriage and family? Lots of hookups? Short relationships and a few dates, just for fun? I think people look for different things, even when they think about "dating". I also think that people need different feedback, depending on their personality (and looks). Everyone's different, and a few experts might not be able to relate to everyone.
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On July 15 2013 09:52 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On July 15 2013 08:41 AlphaMan wrote:
I feel like this thread would be better if there were a few "established" people who are good with women who gave out advice. Else it is just one socially awkward person giving advice to another socially awkward person. Kind of defeats the purpose? You're only saying that because of your name But in all seriousness, what would make someone good with women? A long relationship with the intention of marriage and family? Lots of hookups? Short relationships and a few dates, just for fun? I think people look for different things, even when they think about "dating". I also think that people need different feedback, depending on their personality (and looks). Everyone's different, and a few experts might not be able to relate to everyone.
Well, depends what each person wants. There is no generic "good with woman" trait, there are people who are good at hooking up, those who are good at being in committed relationships, etc. etc.
I've generally been a relationship guy but I've had luck with hook-ups in the past year so I'm willing to give advice on that 
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Hey guys, I don't want to ruin the discussion, but she and I went on a date today and I'm totally fine. I talked to her about it on the phone, she was disconcerted that she had caused me to worry and disconcerted that she felt I didn't trust her. She hung up after a bit to do some housework, and when she called back we just talked on different topics. I went on a date with her and it's no biggie. I had a moment of weakness, I talked it out, and now I'm fine . I realize now that I just had a rush of negative emotions brought on by general fears of losing the girl close to me. She consoled me, and we didn't talk about it on the date, it didn't even cross my mind, nor did it seem to cross her. Life's all good .
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On July 15 2013 09:52 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On July 15 2013 08:41 AlphaMan wrote:
I feel like this thread would be better if there were a few "established" people who are good with women who gave out advice. Else it is just one socially awkward person giving advice to another socially awkward person. Kind of defeats the purpose? You're only saying that because of your name But in all seriousness, what would make someone good with women? A long relationship with the intention of marriage and family? Lots of hookups? Short relationships and a few dates, just for fun? I think people look for different things, even when they think about "dating". I also think that people need different feedback, depending on their personality (and looks). Everyone's different, and a few experts might not be able to relate to everyone.
Haha. I think having some core members with different perspectives on relationships would be really helpful. I think a lot of the advice r.Evo gives is really great, and same with farva (may I call you farva?) even though they have different views on some things. I also like to think that, even though I'm not very experienced in relationships, I have some handle on dealing with stress/anxiety/depression which often occurs during dating or after a breakup.
Hey guys, I don't want to ruin the discussion, but she and I went on a date today and I'm totally fine. I talked to her about it on the phone, she was disconcerted that she had caused me to worry and disconcerted that she felt I didn't trust her. She hung up after a bit to do some housework, and when she called back we just talked on different topics. I went on a date with her and it's no biggie. I had a moment of weakness, I talked it out, and now I'm fine . I realize now that I just had a rush of negative emotions brought on by general fears of losing the girl close to me. She consoled me, and we didn't talk about it on the date, it didn't even cross my mind, nor did it seem to cross her. Life's all good .
Glad to hear it! In the future, as someone who knows exactly what you mean by "moment's of weakness" (I actually broke up with a girl because of a panic attack in that vein, though I did reconcile with her after I calmed down) I'd suggest not making any major decisions until you've slept on things for a day or two. Sometimes these anxious feelings really are just "moments" of weakness.
Edit: as an aside, I'm feeling loads better today. Not trying to jinx it, but I hope this is the beginning of returning to normal emotional health.
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Good to hear it Shiori . Yeah, I rarely have those moments of weakness, and I don't know why I had it, but eh. I'm just gonna let myself settle, I was being an idiot, now I'm back to normal haha.
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Well it's nice to have the perspective of a number of different people so you can pick which one would be most congruent with yourself. The issue lies in when instead of just offering advice, people argue about which is the best advice for 3 pages.
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Not gonna lie, I quirked an eyebrow when he mentioned an "attraction equation" with emotions^infinity in it...
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On July 15 2013 11:57 Shiori wrote:Not gonna lie, I quirked an eyebrow when he mentioned an "attraction equation" with emotions^infinity in it...
don't pay too much heed to the op, it was the content of the thread over half a decade that was gold. However if you stick it out it actually just states a very obvious fact about attraction. Having high value and giving people the right emotions is basically all it is.
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On July 15 2013 08:41 AlphaMan wrote:
I feel like this thread would be better if there were a few "established" people who are good with women who gave out advice. Else it is just one socially awkward person giving advice to another socially awkward person. Kind of defeats the purpose?
This assumes three things.
1. Only people who have extensive experience in the field are capable of giving solid advice.
2. (important one) People who are good with women know why they are good with women and can give good advice.
3. Being good with women is universal in all situations.
See, being established as someone who goes out with multiple women doesn't really give you experience in long-lasting relationships, and vice-versa. Just because you may not have gone out with several women or have not been in a long lasting relationship, doesn't affect you (too much) being able to analyze social situations from an outside perspective (which is often way more helpful).
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On July 15 2013 12:05 sambo400 wrote:Show nested quote +On July 15 2013 11:57 Shiori wrote:Not gonna lie, I quirked an eyebrow when he mentioned an "attraction equation" with emotions^infinity in it... don't pay too much heed to the op, it was the content of the thread over half a decade that was gold. However if you stick it out it actually just states a very obvious fact about attraction. Having high value and giving people the right emotions is basically all it is.
Meh one of the problems with that chit is that the learning curve is so steep, especially for a newbie. A major pitfall is that it tells you what to say and how to act. A big problem with this is that it makes you even more self conscious. Being socially awkward myself at first, and after countless failures (I have probably talked to well over 1,000 women) I finally got good. Although it wasn't till I started working on myself that I finally started wheeling sloots. Get rid of all that mental chatter, stop looking for validation from others, and get your happiness internally. That's all there is to it, its harder than it sounds (obviously, because I'm still working on that stuff) but, if you nail that chit down, not only will your love life improve but your overall life.
PS Shiroi - I suffered from GAD and mild depression for about 3 years and this chit - not the medication that I took, or the therapy sessions - was what liberated me
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Is there a "Post your picture" thread around yet? If not, we should make one. Search feature left me resultless.
I am really curious about the faces behind the people posting here.
Or we could just post our picture(s) in here?
This is me:
+ Show Spoiler +A lot of different opinions about my facial hair. Women seem to be positive about it while guys keep telling me to get rid of it. I personally like it atm, gives my outer character a good twist. ![[image loading]](https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/970945_10151797054868573_343337333_n.jpg)
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A girl hasn't spoken to me in a few years. Sometimes I get a stare or two tho
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On July 15 2013 22:43 kaluro wrote:Is there a "Post your picture" thread around yet? If not, we should make one. Search feature left me resultless. I am really curious about the faces behind the people posting here. Or we could just post our picture(s) in here? This is me: + Show Spoiler +A lot of different opinions about my facial hair. Women seem to be positive about it while guys keep telling me to get rid of it. I personally like it atm, gives my outer character a good twist.
Is it just the lighting or is it extremely uneven on your chin?
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On July 15 2013 22:59 Najda wrote:Show nested quote +On July 15 2013 22:43 kaluro wrote:Is there a "Post your picture" thread around yet? If not, we should make one. Search feature left me resultless. I am really curious about the faces behind the people posting here. Or we could just post our picture(s) in here? This is me: + Show Spoiler +A lot of different opinions about my facial hair. Women seem to be positive about it while guys keep telling me to get rid of it. I personally like it atm, gives my outer character a good twist. Is it just the lighting or is it extremely uneven on your chin?
Lighting, I make sure to have it at least almost symmetrical :p. The cheekbone to the right is much larger than the one to the left too, because the lighting is coming from a diagonal angle and not a straight line.
could also be my ^_+ expression.
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On July 15 2013 22:59 Najda wrote:Show nested quote +On July 15 2013 22:43 kaluro wrote:Is there a "Post your picture" thread around yet? If not, we should make one. Search feature left me resultless. I am really curious about the faces behind the people posting here. Or we could just post our picture(s) in here? This is me: + Show Spoiler +A lot of different opinions about my facial hair. Women seem to be positive about it while guys keep telling me to get rid of it. I personally like it atm, gives my outer character a good twist. Is it just the lighting or is it extremely uneven on your chin?
Think there is a a thread posting a pic of you and your gf but that is about it.
strong weight set in the bg btw
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On July 15 2013 23:47 BigAsia wrote:Show nested quote +On July 15 2013 22:59 Najda wrote:On July 15 2013 22:43 kaluro wrote:Is there a "Post your picture" thread around yet? If not, we should make one. Search feature left me resultless. I am really curious about the faces behind the people posting here. Or we could just post our picture(s) in here? This is me: + Show Spoiler +A lot of different opinions about my facial hair. Women seem to be positive about it while guys keep telling me to get rid of it. I personally like it atm, gives my outer character a good twist. Is it just the lighting or is it extremely uneven on your chin? Think there is a a thread posting a pic of you and your gf but that is about it. strong weight set in the bg btw
Thanks, I got tired of the overpopulation in the gym, having to wait like 15 minutes before the squat rack or the barbell was free to use etc. So what did I do? I started working 50 hours a week and bought myself a nice homegym.
220cm olympic barbell that can hold up to 700kg (32mm thick though  )
Adjustable barbell standard
Dip bars
Pull ups bars
Adjustable bench
Sitting calf machine
Two dipping belts
250kg worth of weights + weight rack
Two rubber mats for when I deadlift etc. floor protection.
two olympic dumbells
and an olympic barbell hammer curl bar :p
EDIT: Jump in -> The post your picture thread
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Hello, everyone, again xd. A little bit ago I wrote this :
On June 22 2013 02:20 MagmaPunch wrote:
Guys, this problem has probably been discussed a lot, but I do not have the time to look for it. So, I am in a pretty confusing situation, I do not really know what to do.So, there is one of my best female friends (now, when I say she is a good female friend, it is true, we're hanging out quite often, but absolutely ordinary, like normal friends.), however, scumbag brain strikes again ... I am starting to develop feelings towards her that are not so much as between friends,but more and the thing is I do not really want it. I know that if somehow I achieve it it is gonna be fuckin great and I am gonna be incredibly happy, but the risk is not worth it.I value this friendship in particular more than a potential relationship. So, how the fuck do I stop this development, so i can continue having a great friend like her.
(Boy, that sounds too gay at moments, but I dont fucking care,it's just that she is one of the few people I can always rely on.)
So, some guys suggested that I find another girl , who will distract me and make me forget the girl I described in the post. Well, I have tried. I was at a bar and met a girl. It developed well, I mean, dancing, touching etc Basically she was within my grasp, if you know what I mean. But I didn't finish the job, because the girl I described in the OP got in my head again and nothing I did could make me forget about her xD So what the fuck do I do now ?
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On July 16 2013 00:11 MagmaPunch wrote:Hello, everyone, again xd. A little bit ago I wrote this : Show nested quote +On June 22 2013 02:20 MagmaPunch wrote:
Guys, this problem has probably been discussed a lot, but I do not have the time to look for it. So, I am in a pretty confusing situation, I do not really know what to do.So, there is one of my best female friends (now, when I say she is a good female friend, it is true, we're hanging out quite often, but absolutely ordinary, like normal friends.), however, scumbag brain strikes again ... I am starting to develop feelings towards her that are not so much as between friends,but more and the thing is I do not really want it. I know that if somehow I achieve it it is gonna be fuckin great and I am gonna be incredibly happy, but the risk is not worth it.I value this friendship in particular more than a potential relationship. So, how the fuck do I stop this development, so i can continue having a great friend like her.
(Boy, that sounds too gay at moments, but I dont fucking care,it's just that she is one of the few people I can always rely on.) So, some guys suggested that I find another girl , who will distract me and make me forget the girl I described in the post. Well, I have tried. I was at a bar and met a girl. It developed well, I mean, dancing, touching etc Basically she was within my grasp, if you know what I mean. But I didn't finish the job, because the girl I described in the OP got in my head again and nothing I did could make me forget about her xD So what the fuck do I do now ?
Try to subtly figure out if this girl likes you. The more you deny your feelings/try to get rid of them, the more persistently they'll bother you, unfortunately.
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On July 16 2013 00:11 MagmaPunch wrote:Hello, everyone, again xd. A little bit ago I wrote this : Show nested quote +On June 22 2013 02:20 MagmaPunch wrote:
Guys, this problem has probably been discussed a lot, but I do not have the time to look for it. So, I am in a pretty confusing situation, I do not really know what to do.So, there is one of my best female friends (now, when I say she is a good female friend, it is true, we're hanging out quite often, but absolutely ordinary, like normal friends.), however, scumbag brain strikes again ... I am starting to develop feelings towards her that are not so much as between friends,but more and the thing is I do not really want it. I know that if somehow I achieve it it is gonna be fuckin great and I am gonna be incredibly happy, but the risk is not worth it.I value this friendship in particular more than a potential relationship. So, how the fuck do I stop this development, so i can continue having a great friend like her.
(Boy, that sounds too gay at moments, but I dont fucking care,it's just that she is one of the few people I can always rely on.) So, some guys suggested that I find another girl , who will distract me and make me forget the girl I described in the post. Well, I have tried. I was at a bar and met a girl. It developed well, I mean, dancing, touching etc Basically she was within my grasp, if you know what I mean. But I didn't finish the job, because the girl I described in the OP got in my head again and nothing I did could make me forget about her xD So what the fuck do I do now ?
I'll leave you with the following:
“Your regrets aren't what you did, but what you didn't do. So I take every opportunity.”
It's not always best to stay on the safe side, take some chances every now and then. Live your life!
The way I read it, you are definitely not going to settle for anything less than her, and you don't want to end up in a mediocre relationship, nobody does. Go for it but make sure to be tactful, and not reckless/stupid.
I took my chances multiple times, and right now I ended up with a superb great girl, we're going to be together for 12 months, this wednesday. She was one of my best friends so it was a huge risk, but turns out the feelings were mutual.  !
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EPT
