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Dating: How's your luck? - Page 215

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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
ticklishmusic
Profile Blog Joined August 2011
United States15977 Posts
July 15 2013 15:24 GMT
#4281
Emma Watson getting married. Game over.
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
kaluro
Profile Joined November 2011
Netherlands760 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-15 15:25:50
July 15 2013 15:25 GMT
#4282
On July 16 2013 00:24 ticklishmusic wrote:
Emma Watson getting married. Game over.


Good, hopefully the annoying Emma Watson hype and memes will come to an end now.
They were never funny and she's good looking but not to the extend that the hype skyrocketed to.
www.twitch.tv/kaluroo - 720p60fps - Remember the name! - Don't do your best, do whatever it takes.
BigAsia
Profile Joined November 2012
Canada451 Posts
July 15 2013 15:26 GMT
#4283
On July 16 2013 00:25 kaluro wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 16 2013 00:24 ticklishmusic wrote:
Emma Watson getting married. Game over.


Good, hopefully the annoying Emma Watson hype and memes will come to an end now.
They were never funny and she's good looking but not to the extend that the hype skyrocketed to.


Well I guess that's that. I have the perfect meme for this but I dare not post because I got banned the last time
YOLO
kaluro
Profile Joined November 2011
Netherlands760 Posts
July 15 2013 15:28 GMT
#4284
On July 16 2013 00:26 BigAsia wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 16 2013 00:25 kaluro wrote:
On July 16 2013 00:24 ticklishmusic wrote:
Emma Watson getting married. Game over.


Good, hopefully the annoying Emma Watson hype and memes will come to an end now.
They were never funny and she's good looking but not to the extend that the hype skyrocketed to.


Well I guess that's that. I have the perfect meme for this but I dare not post because I got banned the last time


Post it in a spoiler tag or PM me!
www.twitch.tv/kaluroo - 720p60fps - Remember the name! - Don't do your best, do whatever it takes.
MagmaPunch
Profile Joined November 2011
Bulgaria536 Posts
July 15 2013 15:28 GMT
#4285
Hmm, thank you for the advice ! Guess I will take a risk and try haha
Aut viam inveniam, aut faciam.
Shiori
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
3815 Posts
July 15 2013 15:37 GMT
#4286
There's also the fact that if you guys are really best friends, then you getting rejected by her shouldn't result in a permanent end to your friendship. Yeah, there might be some distance for a few weeks, but other than that you guys can totally go back to being close once you're over her if she doesn't have feelings for you.
Broetchenholer
Profile Joined March 2011
Germany1947 Posts
July 15 2013 15:39 GMT
#4287
On July 16 2013 00:11 MagmaPunch wrote:
Hello, everyone, again xd. A little bit ago I wrote this :


Show nested quote +
On June 22 2013 02:20 MagmaPunch wrote:
Guys, this problem has probably been discussed a lot, but I do not have the time to look for it. So, I am in a pretty confusing situation, I do not really know what to do.So, there is one of my best female friends (now, when I say she is a good female friend, it is true, we're hanging out quite often, but absolutely ordinary, like normal friends.), however, scumbag brain strikes again ... I am starting to develop feelings towards her that are not so much as between friends,but more and the thing is I do not really want it. I know that if somehow I achieve it it is gonna be fuckin great and I am gonna be incredibly happy, but the risk is not worth it.I value this friendship in particular more than a potential relationship. So, how the fuck do I stop this development, so i can continue having a great friend like her.

(Boy, that sounds too gay at moments, but I dont fucking care,it's just that she is one of the few people I can always rely on.)



So, some guys suggested that I find another girl , who will distract me and make me forget the girl I described in the post. Well, I have tried. I was at a bar and met a girl. It developed well, I mean, dancing, touching etc Basically she was within my grasp, if you know what I mean. But I didn't finish the job, because the girl I described in the OP got in my head again and nothing I did could make me forget about her xD So what the fuck do I do now ?


I don't get it, the best opportunity for a real relationship is friendship. You lose nothing by asking her out. Why would you not be friends with her afterwards?

Possibility 1: She rejects the thought of being more then friends with you. So, you will be sad for some time, get over it, and be free for other girls. YOu will still be friends though.

Possibility 2: You hook up, try it out and it won't work. Afterwards, you will probably still be friends.

Possibility 3: You marry, get 3 wonderful children, grow old together.

Possibility 4: She will get abducted by aliens before she can answer your proposal, you never see her again.
There is really no reason to not do it.
MagmaPunch
Profile Joined November 2011
Bulgaria536 Posts
July 15 2013 15:41 GMT
#4288
Well, we are really close, so let's hope that even if it does not develop the best way, our friendship would still last xd
Aut viam inveniam, aut faciam.
MagmaPunch
Profile Joined November 2011
Bulgaria536 Posts
July 15 2013 15:42 GMT
#4289
On July 16 2013 00:39 Broetchenholer wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 16 2013 00:11 MagmaPunch wrote:
Hello, everyone, again xd. A little bit ago I wrote this :


On June 22 2013 02:20 MagmaPunch wrote:
Guys, this problem has probably been discussed a lot, but I do not have the time to look for it. So, I am in a pretty confusing situation, I do not really know what to do.So, there is one of my best female friends (now, when I say she is a good female friend, it is true, we're hanging out quite often, but absolutely ordinary, like normal friends.), however, scumbag brain strikes again ... I am starting to develop feelings towards her that are not so much as between friends,but more and the thing is I do not really want it. I know that if somehow I achieve it it is gonna be fuckin great and I am gonna be incredibly happy, but the risk is not worth it.I value this friendship in particular more than a potential relationship. So, how the fuck do I stop this development, so i can continue having a great friend like her.

(Boy, that sounds too gay at moments, but I dont fucking care,it's just that she is one of the few people I can always rely on.)



So, some guys suggested that I find another girl , who will distract me and make me forget the girl I described in the post. Well, I have tried. I was at a bar and met a girl. It developed well, I mean, dancing, touching etc Basically she was within my grasp, if you know what I mean. But I didn't finish the job, because the girl I described in the OP got in my head again and nothing I did could make me forget about her xD So what the fuck do I do now ?


I don't get it, the best opportunity for a real relationship is friendship. You lose nothing by asking her out. Why would you not be friends with her afterwards?

Possibility 1: She rejects the thought of being more then friends with you. So, you will be sad for some time, get over it, and be free for other girls. YOu will still be friends though.

Possibility 2: You hook up, try it out and it won't work. Afterwards, you will probably still be friends.

Possibility 3: You marry, get 3 wonderful children, grow old together.

Possibility 4: She will get abducted by aliens before she can answer your proposal, you never see her again.
There is really no reason to not do it.


Haha, your post brought me a smile xD Well, I guess i will really try then. Soon, I will go to a seaside resort with some friends (she is among them). Guess I will try then.
Aut viam inveniam, aut faciam.
Shiori
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
3815 Posts
July 15 2013 15:44 GMT
#4290
The friendship will be fine, so long as you are tactful. If she doesn't share your feelings when you confess to her, then accept her answer and don't bring it up for awhile. In fact, it'd make sense to take a short break from seeing her or talking to her so that the feelings can cool down. Do not, by any means, come across as being devastated/crushed by her rejection, because that's not going to change anything and it's just going to make her feel uncomfortable (in addition, your emotions are unstable after being rejected, so it's not a good time to make decisions) which really could hurt your friendship.

But, hopefully, she returns your feelings and you guys have a great relationship that lasts forever ^^. Good luck!
marvellosity
Profile Joined January 2011
United Kingdom36161 Posts
July 15 2013 15:54 GMT
#4291
On July 16 2013 00:41 MagmaPunch wrote:
Well, we are really close, so let's hope that even if it does not develop the best way, our friendship would still last xd


I've dated a couple of very close friends before, it seemed like a good idea at the time. Neither lasted long, but our friendships were just fine afterwards ^_^
[15:15] <Palmar> and yes marv, you're a total hottie
MagmaPunch
Profile Joined November 2011
Bulgaria536 Posts
July 15 2013 16:02 GMT
#4292
Thank you all for the advice again.

@Shiori : I do not really get devastated easily, I mean something really serious like injury of a family member or something like that can bring me down. I have been rejected quite a few times, so I think i would be able to handle that.

@marvellosity : Well, we will see xd But nice thing that all went well for you xd
Aut viam inveniam, aut faciam.
Zooper31
Profile Joined May 2009
United States5711 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-15 20:05:07
July 15 2013 20:03 GMT
#4293
On July 15 2013 22:43 kaluro wrote:
Is there a "Post your picture" thread around yet? If not, we should make one. Search feature left me resultless.
I am really curious about the faces behind the people posting here.

Or we could just post our picture(s) in here?

This is me:

+ Show Spoiler +

A lot of different opinions about my facial hair. Women seem to be positive about it while guys keep telling me to get rid of it. I personally like it atm, gives my outer character a good twist.
[image loading]


I'm 100% positive I've seen you're picture on TL before and 2-3 of them at that. It was about if you were good looking or not if I remember or something along the lines of how easy it is to pick up girls. I'm also 100% positive now that you're just trying to brag about your looks and fishing for compliments. Cmon guy...
Asato ma sad gamaya, tamaso ma jyotir gamaya, mrtyor mamrtam gamaya
HardlyNever
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States1258 Posts
July 15 2013 20:32 GMT
#4294
On July 16 2013 05:03 Zooper31 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 15 2013 22:43 kaluro wrote:
Is there a "Post your picture" thread around yet? If not, we should make one. Search feature left me resultless.
I am really curious about the faces behind the people posting here.

Or we could just post our picture(s) in here?

This is me:

+ Show Spoiler +

A lot of different opinions about my facial hair. Women seem to be positive about it while guys keep telling me to get rid of it. I personally like it atm, gives my outer character a good twist.
[image loading]


I'm 100% positive I've seen you're picture on TL before and 2-3 of them at that. It was about if you were good looking or not if I remember or something along the lines of how easy it is to pick up girls. I'm also 100% positive now that you're just trying to brag about your looks and fishing for compliments. Cmon guy...


I think someone like that would probably just make a separate thread to brag about it.

Oh...
Out there, the Kid learned to fend for himself. Learned to build. Learned to break.
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
July 15 2013 20:36 GMT
#4295
On July 16 2013 05:03 Zooper31 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 15 2013 22:43 kaluro wrote:
Is there a "Post your picture" thread around yet? If not, we should make one. Search feature left me resultless.
I am really curious about the faces behind the people posting here.

Or we could just post our picture(s) in here?

This is me:

+ Show Spoiler +

A lot of different opinions about my facial hair. Women seem to be positive about it while guys keep telling me to get rid of it. I personally like it atm, gives my outer character a good twist.
[image loading]


I'm 100% positive I've seen you're picture on TL before and 2-3 of them at that. It was about if you were good looking or not if I remember or something along the lines of how easy it is to pick up girls. I'm also 100% positive now that you're just trying to brag about your looks and fishing for compliments. Cmon guy...


Yea now that I saw his other two pictures in the thread he started I recognize him too, but I don't remember where it was I saw the picture.
ma5ta
Profile Joined June 2011
United States46 Posts
July 15 2013 20:37 GMT
#4296
Hows my luck with dating? Well, the girl that I can't stop thinking about happens to work near me but shows absolutely 0 signs of interest in me. But what else is new. #foreveralone
"YEAH IM WINNING! BETTER GG!"
kaluro
Profile Joined November 2011
Netherlands760 Posts
July 15 2013 20:50 GMT
#4297
On July 16 2013 05:03 Zooper31 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 15 2013 22:43 kaluro wrote:
Is there a "Post your picture" thread around yet? If not, we should make one. Search feature left me resultless.
I am really curious about the faces behind the people posting here.

Or we could just post our picture(s) in here?

This is me:

+ Show Spoiler +

A lot of different opinions about my facial hair. Women seem to be positive about it while guys keep telling me to get rid of it. I personally like it atm, gives my outer character a good twist.
[image loading]


I'm 100% positive I've seen you're picture on TL before and 2-3 of them at that. It was about if you were good looking or not if I remember or something along the lines of how easy it is to pick up girls. I'm also 100% positive now that you're just trying to brag about your looks and fishing for compliments. Cmon guy...


Hey now, no need to be rude.
I posted a picture (or two) in here once, on request. If you look at my post history you'd clearly see I'm humble and anything but a show off. I try to give genuine advice and I only post self experiences here, I never once said I was good looking or like 'ohh look at me', since I find that irrelevant, hell I never even mentioned my looks, except for once where I said "I don't think I'm that special looking but here's a pic" since someone requested one, as he thought my looks had an impact on my experiences.

Today, what.. months? later, I decided to take the initiative in getting to know the members on the general forum, their faces. It's lame and annoying if you request photos from other members, while not posting one yourself. So I took the initiative and posted 3 pictures total, in a new thread.

if finding a picture of me a total of two times in the 2+ years i've been a member here, offends you - I'm sorry. But there's nothing I can do to fix that for you.
www.twitch.tv/kaluroo - 720p60fps - Remember the name! - Don't do your best, do whatever it takes.
r.Evo
Profile Joined August 2006
Germany14080 Posts
July 15 2013 21:36 GMT
#4298
On July 15 2013 07:17 Shiori wrote:
I mean, if issues were as simple as "oh, I have an issue, it's caused by X, let me fix X," nobody would have any lasting problems. Reality, unfortunately, makes it so that most of your time is spent trying to figure out why the hell you're feeling these irrational fears rather than how to fix them once you've found the core reason. As someone who suffers from depression/GAD/OCD, these sorts of things hit close to home. If I knew in a really explicit way why I got anxious, I wouldn't have a problem.

I'll just pick this one since it pretty much applies to your entire chain of posts on this topic: Life is simple. People are simple.

It's completely irrelevant where for example an anxiety comes from. What matters is understanding the actual emotions behind the superflous "I'm afraid of xyz" and an understanding of how we connect emotions with our perceptions. This basic concept is true whether it comes to being afraid of approaching women, looking at spiders or of sitting inside a car. The only relevant variable that actually changes between people is the intensity by which the negative associations are connected with the perception itself.

Learning where an anxiety comes from is cool and all but it won't help you in getting rid of it, it's encouraging a logical approach to an emotional issue.
"We don't make mistakes here, we call it happy little accidents." ~Bob Ross
Shiori
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
3815 Posts
July 15 2013 23:03 GMT
#4299
I'll just pick this one since it pretty much applies to your entire chain of posts on this topic: Life is simple. People are simple.


This is a bold (and completely unfalsifiable) claim. From a certain point of view, things are simple. From another point of view, they're the most complicated things we can imagine.

It's completely irrelevant where for example an anxiety comes from. What matters is understanding the actual emotions behind the superflous "I'm afraid of xyz" and an understanding of how we connect emotions with our perceptions. This basic concept is true whether it comes to being afraid of approaching women, looking at spiders or of sitting inside a car. The only relevant variable that actually changes between people is the intensity by which the negative associations are connected with the perception itself.

Not really...there are many different kinds of anxiety. I'm scared of centipedes, and I fear encountering them, but when I have a panic attack it's not just a more intense version of that other kind of fear; it's a totally different beast. Some anxiety is caused by a perceived lack of control, some by insecurity regarding one's decisions/abilities, some by past trauma, some by biology, and some which are anomalous.

You seem to be equating "anxiety" with fear in the sense that it's used to refer to phobias. You're also making a mistake by saying "we" need to understand how "we" connect emotions with "our" perceptions. Not everyone does these things in the same way, which is why there isn't some catch-all cognitive behavioural therapy for every patient. Figuring out how I allow emotions to affect my perceptions and choices is something that takes a lot of time and self-reflection, and it's not the same way that my brother does it.

Learning where an anxiety comes from is cool and all but it won't help you in getting rid of it, it's encouraging a logical approach to an emotional issue.

Anxiety isn't something you can easily isolate from the rational component of your mind, because it affects the rational component of your mind. In addition, if you advocate understanding emotions, then you're necessarily advocating a logical approach to an emotional issue, because "understanding" is something we do with our rational faculty. Generally speaking, we get anxious for reasons. Usually those reasons appear to be one thing but can wind up being something completely different or unexpected once you peel away the layers by elimination. Sometimes some treatments work and sometimes they don't. Sometimes it's enough to cure anxiety to just exposure yourself to something really terrifying, but other times that doesn't do anything.
TheFish7
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
United States2824 Posts
July 16 2013 02:55 GMT
#4300
On July 16 2013 00:24 ticklishmusic wrote:
Emma Watson getting married. Game over.

+ Show Spoiler +


We're gonna have to find a way to murder this Will Adamowicz fellow.


On July 16 2013 05:37 ma5ta wrote:
Hows my luck with dating? Well, the girl that I can't stop thinking about happens to work near me but shows absolutely 0 signs of interest in me. But what else is new. #foreveralone


I know this feeling. Sometimes I wonder if I can't stop thinking about girls like this BECAUSE they show 0 signs of interest in me. Like some reverse psychology or something.
~ ~ <°)))><~ ~ ~
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