Dating: How's your luck? - Page 215
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
ticklishmusic
United States15977 Posts
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kaluro
Netherlands760 Posts
On July 16 2013 00:24 ticklishmusic wrote: Emma Watson getting married. Game over. Good, hopefully the annoying Emma Watson hype and memes will come to an end now. They were never funny and she's good looking but not to the extend that the hype skyrocketed to. | ||
BigAsia
Canada451 Posts
On July 16 2013 00:25 kaluro wrote: Good, hopefully the annoying Emma Watson hype and memes will come to an end now. They were never funny and she's good looking but not to the extend that the hype skyrocketed to. Well I guess that's that. I have the perfect meme for this but I dare not post because I got banned the last time | ||
kaluro
Netherlands760 Posts
On July 16 2013 00:26 BigAsia wrote: Well I guess that's that. I have the perfect meme for this but I dare not post because I got banned the last time Post it in a spoiler tag or PM me! ![]() | ||
MagmaPunch
Bulgaria536 Posts
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Shiori
3815 Posts
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Broetchenholer
Germany1840 Posts
On July 16 2013 00:11 MagmaPunch wrote: Hello, everyone, again xd. A little bit ago I wrote this : So, some guys suggested that I find another girl , who will distract me and make me forget the girl I described in the post. Well, I have tried. I was at a bar and met a girl. It developed well, I mean, dancing, touching etc Basically she was within my grasp, if you know what I mean. But I didn't finish the job, because the girl I described in the OP got in my head again and nothing I did could make me forget about her xD So what the fuck do I do now ? I don't get it, the best opportunity for a real relationship is friendship. You lose nothing by asking her out. Why would you not be friends with her afterwards? Possibility 1: She rejects the thought of being more then friends with you. So, you will be sad for some time, get over it, and be free for other girls. YOu will still be friends though. Possibility 2: You hook up, try it out and it won't work. Afterwards, you will probably still be friends. Possibility 3: You marry, get 3 wonderful children, grow old together. Possibility 4: She will get abducted by aliens before she can answer your proposal, you never see her again. There is really no reason to not do it. | ||
MagmaPunch
Bulgaria536 Posts
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MagmaPunch
Bulgaria536 Posts
On July 16 2013 00:39 Broetchenholer wrote: I don't get it, the best opportunity for a real relationship is friendship. You lose nothing by asking her out. Why would you not be friends with her afterwards? Possibility 1: She rejects the thought of being more then friends with you. So, you will be sad for some time, get over it, and be free for other girls. YOu will still be friends though. Possibility 2: You hook up, try it out and it won't work. Afterwards, you will probably still be friends. Possibility 3: You marry, get 3 wonderful children, grow old together. Possibility 4: She will get abducted by aliens before she can answer your proposal, you never see her again. There is really no reason to not do it. Haha, your post brought me a smile xD Well, I guess i will really try then. Soon, I will go to a seaside resort with some friends (she is among them). Guess I will try then. | ||
Shiori
3815 Posts
But, hopefully, she returns your feelings and you guys have a great relationship that lasts forever ^^. Good luck! | ||
marvellosity
United Kingdom36156 Posts
On July 16 2013 00:41 MagmaPunch wrote: Well, we are really close, so let's hope that even if it does not develop the best way, our friendship would still last xd I've dated a couple of very close friends before, it seemed like a good idea at the time. Neither lasted long, but our friendships were just fine afterwards ^_^ | ||
MagmaPunch
Bulgaria536 Posts
@Shiori : I do not really get devastated easily, I mean something really serious like injury of a family member or something like that can bring me down. I have been rejected quite a few times, so I think i would be able to handle that. @marvellosity : Well, we will see xd But nice thing that all went well for you xd | ||
Zooper31
United States5710 Posts
On July 15 2013 22:43 kaluro wrote: Is there a "Post your picture" thread around yet? If not, we should make one. Search feature left me resultless. I am really curious about the faces behind the people posting here. Or we could just post our picture(s) in here? This is me: + Show Spoiler + A lot of different opinions about my facial hair. Women seem to be positive about it while guys keep telling me to get rid of it. I personally like it atm, gives my outer character a good twist. ![]() I'm 100% positive I've seen you're picture on TL before and 2-3 of them at that. It was about if you were good looking or not if I remember or something along the lines of how easy it is to pick up girls. I'm also 100% positive now that you're just trying to brag about your looks and fishing for compliments. Cmon guy... | ||
HardlyNever
United States1258 Posts
On July 16 2013 05:03 Zooper31 wrote: I'm 100% positive I've seen you're picture on TL before and 2-3 of them at that. It was about if you were good looking or not if I remember or something along the lines of how easy it is to pick up girls. I'm also 100% positive now that you're just trying to brag about your looks and fishing for compliments. Cmon guy... I think someone like that would probably just make a separate thread to brag about it. Oh... | ||
Najda
United States3765 Posts
On July 16 2013 05:03 Zooper31 wrote: I'm 100% positive I've seen you're picture on TL before and 2-3 of them at that. It was about if you were good looking or not if I remember or something along the lines of how easy it is to pick up girls. I'm also 100% positive now that you're just trying to brag about your looks and fishing for compliments. Cmon guy... Yea now that I saw his other two pictures in the thread he started I recognize him too, but I don't remember where it was I saw the picture. | ||
ma5ta
United States46 Posts
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kaluro
Netherlands760 Posts
On July 16 2013 05:03 Zooper31 wrote: I'm 100% positive I've seen you're picture on TL before and 2-3 of them at that. It was about if you were good looking or not if I remember or something along the lines of how easy it is to pick up girls. I'm also 100% positive now that you're just trying to brag about your looks and fishing for compliments. Cmon guy... Hey now, no need to be rude. I posted a picture (or two) in here once, on request. If you look at my post history you'd clearly see I'm humble and anything but a show off. I try to give genuine advice and I only post self experiences here, I never once said I was good looking or like 'ohh look at me', since I find that irrelevant, hell I never even mentioned my looks, except for once where I said "I don't think I'm that special looking but here's a pic" since someone requested one, as he thought my looks had an impact on my experiences. Today, what.. months? later, I decided to take the initiative in getting to know the members on the general forum, their faces. It's lame and annoying if you request photos from other members, while not posting one yourself. So I took the initiative and posted 3 pictures total, in a new thread. if finding a picture of me a total of two times in the 2+ years i've been a member here, offends you - I'm sorry. But there's nothing I can do to fix that for you. | ||
r.Evo
Germany14079 Posts
On July 15 2013 07:17 Shiori wrote: I mean, if issues were as simple as "oh, I have an issue, it's caused by X, let me fix X," nobody would have any lasting problems. Reality, unfortunately, makes it so that most of your time is spent trying to figure out why the hell you're feeling these irrational fears rather than how to fix them once you've found the core reason. As someone who suffers from depression/GAD/OCD, these sorts of things hit close to home. If I knew in a really explicit way why I got anxious, I wouldn't have a problem. I'll just pick this one since it pretty much applies to your entire chain of posts on this topic: Life is simple. People are simple. It's completely irrelevant where for example an anxiety comes from. What matters is understanding the actual emotions behind the superflous "I'm afraid of xyz" and an understanding of how we connect emotions with our perceptions. This basic concept is true whether it comes to being afraid of approaching women, looking at spiders or of sitting inside a car. The only relevant variable that actually changes between people is the intensity by which the negative associations are connected with the perception itself. Learning where an anxiety comes from is cool and all but it won't help you in getting rid of it, it's encouraging a logical approach to an emotional issue. | ||
Shiori
3815 Posts
I'll just pick this one since it pretty much applies to your entire chain of posts on this topic: Life is simple. People are simple. This is a bold (and completely unfalsifiable) claim. From a certain point of view, things are simple. From another point of view, they're the most complicated things we can imagine. It's completely irrelevant where for example an anxiety comes from. What matters is understanding the actual emotions behind the superflous "I'm afraid of xyz" and an understanding of how we connect emotions with our perceptions. This basic concept is true whether it comes to being afraid of approaching women, looking at spiders or of sitting inside a car. The only relevant variable that actually changes between people is the intensity by which the negative associations are connected with the perception itself. Not really...there are many different kinds of anxiety. I'm scared of centipedes, and I fear encountering them, but when I have a panic attack it's not just a more intense version of that other kind of fear; it's a totally different beast. Some anxiety is caused by a perceived lack of control, some by insecurity regarding one's decisions/abilities, some by past trauma, some by biology, and some which are anomalous. You seem to be equating "anxiety" with fear in the sense that it's used to refer to phobias. You're also making a mistake by saying "we" need to understand how "we" connect emotions with "our" perceptions. Not everyone does these things in the same way, which is why there isn't some catch-all cognitive behavioural therapy for every patient. Figuring out how I allow emotions to affect my perceptions and choices is something that takes a lot of time and self-reflection, and it's not the same way that my brother does it. Learning where an anxiety comes from is cool and all but it won't help you in getting rid of it, it's encouraging a logical approach to an emotional issue. Anxiety isn't something you can easily isolate from the rational component of your mind, because it affects the rational component of your mind. In addition, if you advocate understanding emotions, then you're necessarily advocating a logical approach to an emotional issue, because "understanding" is something we do with our rational faculty. Generally speaking, we get anxious for reasons. Usually those reasons appear to be one thing but can wind up being something completely different or unexpected once you peel away the layers by elimination. Sometimes some treatments work and sometimes they don't. Sometimes it's enough to cure anxiety to just exposure yourself to something really terrifying, but other times that doesn't do anything. | ||
TheFish7
United States2824 Posts
On July 16 2013 00:24 ticklishmusic wrote: Emma Watson getting married. Game over. + Show Spoiler + We're gonna have to find a way to murder this Will Adamowicz fellow. On July 16 2013 05:37 ma5ta wrote: Hows my luck with dating? Well, the girl that I can't stop thinking about happens to work near me but shows absolutely 0 signs of interest in me. But what else is new. #foreveralone I know this feeling. Sometimes I wonder if I can't stop thinking about girls like this BECAUSE they show 0 signs of interest in me. Like some reverse psychology or something. | ||
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