EPTDating: How's your luck? - Page 176
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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Grumbels
Netherlands7031 Posts
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Shiori
3815 Posts
On June 01 2013 04:53 HeavenS wrote: umm killscreen is actually on point on alot of what he said. he even stated that this DOES NOT APPLY TO 100% OF WOMEN. don't ignore that. obviously you can't generalize everyone but its true, women want a fucking man. is there a chance that a woman might like you with you're a little bitch? sure, someone will like you. but what about when you two are walking together and some manly man walks right by you guys exerting his manliness, rugged as fuck. do you seriously think she's not going to fucking notice that guy or feel anything even slightly resembling attraction? if that's what you think, then you're delusional. look, im not claiming to be some sort of pimp that fucks tons of girls and knows women like the back of his hands. but i started at a really really early age, with sex, with girlfriends, with everything, and i have made pretty much every fucking mistake in the book. girls don't like over feely guys that constantly talk about their emotions, they also don't like a man that never does, you have to find the right balance, but overall you need to exude confidence in yourself and in the fact that you are a man. in bed, women like to get fucked. that is 100% true. obviously there is time for romance, especially when you're having a "moment" with that loved one, but there's no rule that says rough sex isn't romantic, or isn't passionate. a girl likes it when you pull her hair a bit, grab her ass hard while you fuck her, if you're fucking her from behind pull her up towards you and lightly (LIGHTLY!!! unless it escalates into more passionate, then obviously use your own judgement but don't be a fucking idiot and turn passion into stupidity) choke her with your free hand while you kiss her neck on the side or pull her hair with the other. she will go fucking nuts. i'm not saying you should rough her up or something because thats what they want, im saying be passionate in sex, be unapologetic, let it be raw, sex is SEX and that is romantic on its own. a good way to know what is a good balance in sex, watch the scene in 300 when leonidas fucks his wife, THAT is what they like, then after lay with them and be romantic, its not hard. its funny because ive had a girl that was my friend at the time tell me she loved that scene and that pretty much every girl wants to get fucked like his wife in the movie....guess what happened next lol. overall, be a good man, but be confident and don't be scared to take charge. women want equality, obviously as they should have it. but, as zoe saldana or however you spell her name once said in an interview, there is something sexy and romantic about coming home after a long day of work and laying with your man with his arms protecting you, belonging to him, being his. This post is so full of assertions of arbitrary gender roles with no basis in actual logic beyond social construction that I'm not sure where to begin. Your anecdotal experiences with women do not amount to an extrapolation to all women. | ||
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gedatsu
1286 Posts
On June 01 2013 05:21 Shiori wrote: This post is so full of assertions of arbitrary gender roles with no basis in actual logic beyond social construction that I'm not sure where to begin. Your anecdotal experiences with women do not amount to an extrapolation to all women. Gender roles are anything but arbitrary, they are extremely logical. | ||
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Shiori
3815 Posts
On June 01 2013 05:25 gedatsu wrote: Gender roles are anything but arbitrary, they are extremely logical. They are definitely arbitrary as far as modernity is concerned. They're virtually pure social constructions with only the most bare-bones genetic basis in most cases, if any at all. What exactly is logical about gender roles in modern society? We aren't hunter-gatherers anymore. Man's main physical advantage (strength/endurance) is pretty much irrelevant to day-to-day interaction. So where's the logic? There are relevant differences in brain chemistry between men and women, but no scientific research has concluded any logical set of roles that this brain chemistry dictates. Hell, they haven't even come up with a meaningful analysis of the white matter vs gray matter differences with respect to intelligence. | ||
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QuanticHawk
United States32090 Posts
On June 01 2013 05:25 gedatsu wrote: Gender roles are anything but arbitrary, they are extremely logical. oh man this threads about to get real fun!!!! | ||
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gedatsu
1286 Posts
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Zooper31
United States5711 Posts
On May 31 2013 20:54 kaykaykay wrote: Desperately need some good advice here. There was this girl I met in school, she is my junior for extra curricular activities. So she started chatting me up and asking me out. Firstly a bit of background information, it seems she has a boyfriend. Secondly, and more importantly, I do NOT feel anything for her. but I thought, "Hey, if this girl is so desperate to meet me, she might be worth getting to know." Also, we all know building a hareem is extremely important because it elevates your market value. So dinner went well, the friendly banter and everything. And then while walking back she started getting all touchy feely, holding my arms and all. I didn't reciprocate, not even in the slightest. I think it's because I don't want to give her the wrong impression and also because I didn't want anyone to get the wrong impression of us. I had a friend who lived nearby. So amidst my constant shrugging and her constantly pulling, thank god the night finally ended. What should I do to get my point firmly across? Or is this what all guys have to go through if they wanna increase their market value. I will still be seeing her when school reopens. Increase your market value? Building a harem? Can see we have a real fine thought process here... Don't lead her on, she has a bf, and you have no feelings for her. Tell her you don't like her and she will get disappointed, thats life. | ||
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Shiori
3815 Posts
On June 01 2013 05:34 gedatsu wrote: All gender roles have a strong biological basis. They weren't formed in modern day, which is why they don't always fit modern life. But they are still logical, because they formed under the 100k years (at least) where they made sense and were necessary even. That is why they are not arbitrary. Arbitrary would imply that they rolled dice to decide which gender does what, which is a preposterous idea. Amusingly, if your argument were true (and it's not) then it literally would be like rolling the dice, because evolution is not directed. | ||
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gedatsu
1286 Posts
On June 01 2013 05:35 Shiori wrote: Amusingly, if your argument were true (and it's not) then it literally would be like rolling the dice, because evolution is not directed. I know it isn't directed. But I also know that bad rolls are eliminated from the game. Gender roles are the product of a very long line of good genetic rolls. They are not the product of a group of people coming together and saying, "hey, you know those things that we are all doing, let's split them arbitrarily between the genders as of today". The Neanderthals went extinct largely because they didn't have a gender division of labor. We survived, because we had it. | ||
KwarK
United States43259 Posts
On June 01 2013 05:43 gedatsu wrote: The Neanderthals went extinct largely because they didn't have a gender division of labor. We survived, because we had it. That's a really, really strange and important claim to make without a citation. You're saying that a sentient, widespread humanoid species, our closest imaginable cousin, became extinct because they didn't split up the genders and treat them differently. | ||
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TotalNightmare
Germany139 Posts
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sc4k
United Kingdom5454 Posts
I know many women who are attracted to thin, unathletic but artistic men and are turned OFF by muscles and smells and hairy bodies etc. There's a reason hipsters score plenty. Many of them are intentionally avoiding all ruggedness. I've been told that many Japanese women are attracted specifically to the androgynous look in men, for example, as it's one of the fashions over there. It's really about picking an identity and confidently following it. You can get girls with pretty much any base personality and set of interests as long as you are confident and genuine and make an effort to connect. | ||
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Grumbels
Netherlands7031 Posts
On June 01 2013 06:07 KwarK wrote: That's a really, really strange and important claim to make without a citation. You're saying that a sentient, widespread humanoid species, our closest imaginable cousin, became extinct because they didn't split up the genders and treat them differently. I think he's referring to this: http://www.u.arizona.edu/~mstiner/pdf/Kuhn_Stiner2006.pdf I haven't read it, but as far as I understand it's just speculation. | ||
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corumjhaelen
France6884 Posts
On June 01 2013 05:43 gedatsu wrote: I know it isn't directed. But I also know that bad rolls are eliminated from the game. Gender roles are the product of a very long line of good genetic rolls. They are not the product of a group of people coming together and saying, "hey, you know those things that we are all doing, let's split them arbitrarily between the genders as of today". The Neanderthals went extinct largely because they didn't have a gender division of labor. We survived, because we had it. "Bad rolls" are only bad relative to an environment, which evolves, and has never been evolving as fast. Evolution is no basis for moral claim, not for your machist ideology either. | ||
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Killscreen
188 Posts
On June 01 2013 04:09 QuanticHawk wrote: life lesson time from the dude with the most posts on the page, aka i am right: if you sound at all like killscreen and use a load of biotruth caveman horseshit to back your beliefs as fact, you need to reevaluate your life Oh wow. You think there is a correlation between talking about getting laid and actually getting laid? Yeah, theres not. Trust me on this. By "biotruth caveman horseshit" I assume you mean evolutionary biology. Theres a fairly common saying; "nothing in life makes sense except in the light of evolution" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nothing_in_Biology_Makes_Sense_Except_in_the_Light_of_Evolution If you have a specific issue with what I posted I would be glad to discuss it. If not I would appreciate it if you would lay off the personal attacks. It's just really obvious that you are experiencing cognitive dissonance, you are obviously angry and offended, and its sad. My life is fine, fyi. On June 01 2013 05:27 Shiori wrote: They are definitely arbitrary as far as modernity is concerned. They're virtually pure social constructions with only the most bare-bones genetic basis in most cases, if any at all. What exactly is logical about gender roles in modern society? We aren't hunter-gatherers anymore. Man's main physical advantage (strength/endurance) is pretty much irrelevant to day-to-day interaction. So where's the logic? There are relevant differences in brain chemistry between men and women, but no scientific research has concluded any logical set of roles that this brain chemistry dictates. Hell, they haven't even come up with a meaningful analysis of the white matter vs gray matter differences with respect to intelligence. Well, we are not hunter gatherers any more in the sense that we dont hunt and gather, but we are in the sense that we are genetically identical to our ancestors that did. Evolution just doesn't work that fast. If you're familiar with sexual dimorphism you will know that the sexes are only as different as we need to be. IE men have nipples because its cheaper to just have both sexes have nipples that to differentiate it. So unless being dumber than men provided women with some advantage there is no basis in evolutionary biology to claim man are smarter than women. We aren't either. There are however some key differences; men can sire a lot more offspring than women. A single child represents a much larger portion of womens potential to spread their genes. A women can have maybe 10 children in her lifetime, a man can have thousands. Because of this key difference, women are far more picky when it comes to sexual partners than men, and are more protective of their offspring. Since we are all optimized to reproduce as efficiently as possible, men and women behave quite differently. Mens behavior is geared towards having as many sexual partners as possible ( notice how there arent many women asking for advice in this thread? ), ie gaining social status, competing etc. Womens behavior is optimized to making sure their offspring is successful since they can only have a limited number. So making sure they have a safe environment and enough resources to raise their child. Men also have an incentive to invest in their offspring, but that incentive is not as great for men. Weirdly enough, this is exactly the behavior we see from men and women in todays society. Isnt it weird that the arbitrarily constructed gender roles are exactly those you would expect if they were genetically determined? Oh, and sc4k, I think you are misunderstanding what I mean when I say masculine. It doesn't necessarily mean big hairy dude who drags women home by their hair. It's more a set of personality traits and how you carry yourself; first and foremost being dominant and not submissive. How you dress/look isn't really a big part of it. | ||
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TheFish7
United States2824 Posts
On May 25 2013 05:12 TheFish7 wrote: Well, I wouldn't say flirtatious. But I do get positive vibes from her, for example, I went to find her the other day in the cafeteria and she was talking to her boss and some interns- when I showed up she gave me a huge smile from across the room and left the conversation to come talk to me. Another time a big group of us went out together for burgers and beers, and she sat next to me and we had some nice conversation (about work, school, sports we used to play, etc.), but it was friendly, not flirty. Thing is, we've only known each other for about 3 weeks since we work on opposite sides of a large builidng. The only reason we found each other at all is because we both play for the company softball team and the season started 3 weeks ago. So I've had little time to work with and now I have to make a move of some kind. I guess the plan right now is to just be casual and ask if she'd like to hang out sometime. I'll post the results Update: Went out to lunch with her and some friends on her last day of work. Had a good time and got her number afterwards. Later we texted back and forth a bit, so I said "I'd like it if we were to hang out sometime, any interest?" She responds with "I think I have to pass I kinda just started talking to someone so I'd feel bad doing anything else" I'd really like to know if shes just saying that to let me down easy. Oh well, on to the next one I guess. | ||
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Shiori
3815 Posts
On June 01 2013 08:32 TheFish7 wrote: Update: Went out to lunch with her and some friends on her last day of work. Had a good time and got her number afterwards. Later we texted back and forth a bit, so I said "I'd like it if we were to hang out sometime, any interest?" She responds with "I think I have to pass I kinda just started talking to someone so I'd feel bad doing anything else" I'd really like to know if shes just saying that to let me down easy. Oh well, on to the next one I guess. It's nice of her to be straight with you, whether it's true or not. | ||
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TheFish7
United States2824 Posts
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KwarK
United States43259 Posts
On June 01 2013 07:52 Killscreen wrote: It's more a set of personality traits and how you carry yourself; first and foremost being dominant and not submissive. How you dress/look isn't really a big part of it. God forbid you don't go around dominating everyone all the time, then you won't get laid! Some women like men who take charge, others are turned off by the arrogance and presumption of it. Throw into that a massive evidence bias because everyone who has had any kind of success with sex has clearly found someone who likes what they do so everyone thinks their thing works, doesn't mean only their thing works. Furthermore if there is any evolutionary component to success with the opposite sex then congratulations, we all win. Everyone reading this is the result of countless generations of people who all succeeded to find someone to fuck, if there is a biological secret to it then everyone is fine because everyone has been biologically selected for it. Then there's just obvious flaws with this like "if all women like to be dominated then how to lesbians work?". I mean I guess they could find a man to dominate them both at the same time while they fuck each other but I think we're moving away from actual lesbians and into porn there. | ||
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Killscreen
188 Posts
And no, we dont all win. The whole point of sex is that only the best males get to mate. That is its function. As long as women get to chose who they mate with a lot of males will not get to reproduce. I discussed homosexuality earlier, and I wont repeat myself. Its a few pages back if you want to discuss it. | ||
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