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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
RvB
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
Netherlands6274 Posts
May 31 2013 12:04 GMT
#3441
Tell her you're not interested?
Grumbels
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Netherlands7032 Posts
May 31 2013 12:14 GMT
#3442
On May 31 2013 20:54 kaykaykay wrote:
Desperately need some good advice here.
There was this girl I met in school, she is my junior for extra curricular activities.
So she started chatting me up and asking me out.

Firstly a bit of background information, it seems she has a boyfriend.
Secondly, and more importantly, I do NOT feel anything for her.

but I thought, "Hey, if this girl is so desperate to meet me, she might be worth getting to know."
Also, we all know building a hareem is extremely important because it elevates your market value.

So dinner went well, the friendly banter and everything.
And then while walking back she started getting all touchy feely, holding my arms and all.
I didn't reciprocate, not even in the slightest.
I think it's because I don't want to give her the wrong impression and also because I didn't want anyone to get the wrong impression of us. I had a friend who lived nearby.
So amidst my constant shrugging and her constantly pulling, thank god the night finally ended.

What should I do to get my point firmly across?
Or is this what all guys have to go through if they wanna increase their market value.
I will still be seeing her when school reopens.

So you're in a position of authority over this girl, who incessantly comes on to you despite you not liking her, who already has a boyfriend. And your decision is to go along with it out of some notion of raising your market value? Just tell her to stop it and stop worrying about harem building (...).
Well, now I tell you, I never seen good come o' goodness yet. Him as strikes first is my fancy; dead men don't bite; them's my views--amen, so be it.
kyllinghest
Profile Joined December 2011
Norway1607 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-31 12:22:01
May 31 2013 12:21 GMT
#3443
On May 31 2013 20:54 kaykaykay wrote:
.....but I thought, "Hey, if this girl is so desperate to meet me, she might be worth getting to know."
Also, we all know building a hareem is extremely important because it elevates your market value....

.....Or is this what all guys have to go through if they wanna increase their market value.......

There might be some cultural differences here, but it sounds like you have got this all wrong. Tell her that you are not interested.
"NO" -Has
Killscreen
Profile Joined February 2012
188 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-31 12:44:48
May 31 2013 12:30 GMT
#3444
On May 31 2013 21:21 kyllinghest wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 31 2013 20:54 kaykaykay wrote:
.....but I thought, "Hey, if this girl is so desperate to meet me, she might be worth getting to know."
Also, we all know building a hareem is extremely important because it elevates your market value....

.....Or is this what all guys have to go through if they wanna increase their market value.......

There might be some cultural differences here, but it sounds like you have got this all wrong. Tell her that you are not interested.

Nah, he has it right. It works like this in Norway too. It's part of womens genetic programming. Its safe for a woman to assume that a man who has a lot of success with women is a high quality male.

Although Im not sure starting any kind of realtionship with a woman he does not like for that express purpose is wise or necessary. I mean if he likes her on a personal level then being friends is fine, but this doesnt seem like the case.
RvB
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
Netherlands6274 Posts
May 31 2013 12:51 GMT
#3445
On May 31 2013 21:30 Killscreen wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 31 2013 21:21 kyllinghest wrote:
On May 31 2013 20:54 kaykaykay wrote:
.....but I thought, "Hey, if this girl is so desperate to meet me, she might be worth getting to know."
Also, we all know building a hareem is extremely important because it elevates your market value....

.....Or is this what all guys have to go through if they wanna increase their market value.......

There might be some cultural differences here, but it sounds like you have got this all wrong. Tell her that you are not interested.

Nah, he has it right. It works like this in Norway too. It's part of womens genetic programming. Its safe for a woman to assume that a man who has a lot of success with women is a high quality male.

Although Im not sure starting any kind of realtionship with a woman he does not like for that express purpose is wise or necessary. I mean if he likes her on a personal level then being friends is fine, but this doesnt seem like the case.

If you're confident about yourself you don't need it and it's a huge dick move against the girl letting her hang like that. If a woman did the same to him we'd be calling her a bitch right now.
Killscreen
Profile Joined February 2012
188 Posts
May 31 2013 12:59 GMT
#3446
On May 31 2013 21:51 RvB wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 31 2013 21:30 Killscreen wrote:
On May 31 2013 21:21 kyllinghest wrote:
On May 31 2013 20:54 kaykaykay wrote:
.....but I thought, "Hey, if this girl is so desperate to meet me, she might be worth getting to know."
Also, we all know building a hareem is extremely important because it elevates your market value....

.....Or is this what all guys have to go through if they wanna increase their market value.......

There might be some cultural differences here, but it sounds like you have got this all wrong. Tell her that you are not interested.

Nah, he has it right. It works like this in Norway too. It's part of womens genetic programming. Its safe for a woman to assume that a man who has a lot of success with women is a high quality male.

Although Im not sure starting any kind of realtionship with a woman he does not like for that express purpose is wise or necessary. I mean if he likes her on a personal level then being friends is fine, but this doesnt seem like the case.

If you're confident about yourself you don't need it and it's a huge dick move against the girl letting her hang like that. If a woman did the same to him we'd be calling her a bitch right now.

Since she has a boyfriend I think we can safely call her a bitch :D
It doesnt strike me as how a confident, attractive man would think, but I try not to judge. Ultimately we all do what we have to do to get laid.
kaykaykay
Profile Joined July 2012
Singapore637 Posts
May 31 2013 13:59 GMT
#3447
So you're suggesting I assume that she's interested.

"Yo, stop it, you have a boyfriend already."
"Well, who said anything about liking you anyway?"

I'm just trying to be nice and keep it cool yo. Maybe I shouldn't have thrown that part in about the hareem building.
But I was genuinely trying to be nice.
I mean cmon, this applies to both genders.
If some dude keeps asking you out, many times, doing all the goofy stuff, the least you could do was try ONE date out yes?
Starve the ego, feed the soul.
kyllinghest
Profile Joined December 2011
Norway1607 Posts
May 31 2013 14:09 GMT
#3448
On May 31 2013 22:59 kaykaykay wrote:
So you're suggesting I assume that she's interested.

"Yo, stop it, you have a boyfriend already."
"Well, who said anything about liking you anyway?"

I'm just trying to be nice and keep it cool yo. Maybe I shouldn't have thrown that part in about the hareem building.
But I was genuinely trying to be nice.
I mean cmon, this applies to both genders.
If some dude keeps asking you out, many times, doing all the goofy stuff, the least you could do was try ONE date out yes?

Im sure you are a very nice guy, and perhaps it was kind and polite to go on that one date. I still think you should tell her how you feel about her now.
"NO" -Has
Randomrichie
Profile Joined April 2012
Scotland5 Posts
May 31 2013 14:12 GMT
#3449
Genuinely, the best relationships come when you're not trying to force them to happen. Relax, enjoy life and when the right girl comes along you'll know it and you'll be all the better for it. Funny thing is that it happens when you least expect it too. At least that's my experience.
11:11
Malehonnete
Profile Joined February 2013
France20 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-31 14:18:58
May 31 2013 14:18 GMT
#3450
You can put it on the fact that, knowing she had a boyfriend, you find her behaviour intriguing. In this way, either she tells you she wants something with you and then you make things clear, or she says she behaves like this with friends and so on...

You can still have some kind of "harem" with girls that aren't openly saying that they want you. You juste need to be neutrino with some electrons around you ^^

Edit: but yeah, still, better act with integrity
NoRush20
Profile Joined February 2011
Canada30 Posts
May 31 2013 14:30 GMT
#3451
Regarding: "market value"... personally i think that it all just boils down to self esteem and methods of trying to gauge your self worth. You define your self worth--not the number of women you sleep with or possessions you own. You could be a nobody and carry yourself with confidence and purpose and eventually people will notice and eventually their opinions of you will reflect the values you give off. However, this must not be confused with over confidence or cockiness as is often the case, as these are merely smoke and mirrors for a case of low self worth.

If you need to think in terms of "i slept with X, so i definitely have a shot with Y" you are just needlessly self imposing limits onto yourself.
BGH$$$4v4$$$NR20$$$PROZ$$$ONLY!!!
NotSorry
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
United States6722 Posts
May 31 2013 14:31 GMT
#3452
I recently discovered online dating sites and holy shit it's like shooting fish in a barrel, with it aiding my day and club game I've gone of the hottest streak of my life picking up ~25-30 girls in just under 6weeks including ~5-6 HB9.5s. Altho I got back together with my wife this weekend it was still a fun break.

Would start the morning tossing out copy/paste openers probably with a 60-70% reply rate, 2-3messages later getting their number for texts 2-3texts later setting up a date, often having 2 or 3 dates lined up daily. Was also a real nice confidence booster which lead to me being a lot better at just randomly picking up girls on the street, at a store or where ever I saw one I liked.
We have now sunk to a depth at which restatement of the obvious is the first duty of intelligent men. - Orwell
Killscreen
Profile Joined February 2012
188 Posts
May 31 2013 14:56 GMT
#3453
On May 31 2013 23:09 kyllinghest wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 31 2013 22:59 kaykaykay wrote:
So you're suggesting I assume that she's interested.

"Yo, stop it, you have a boyfriend already."
"Well, who said anything about liking you anyway?"

I'm just trying to be nice and keep it cool yo. Maybe I shouldn't have thrown that part in about the hareem building.
But I was genuinely trying to be nice.
I mean cmon, this applies to both genders.
If some dude keeps asking you out, many times, doing all the goofy stuff, the least you could do was try ONE date out yes?

Im sure you are a very nice guy, and perhaps it was kind and polite to go on that one date. I still think you should tell her how you feel about her now.

I dont want to troll you here man, but "tell her how you feel" is almost always a bad idea regardless of context, and certainly in this one. It would be awkward as fuck.

Men don't talk about our feeling unless we absolutely have to, and when we do have to, we lie.




kyllinghest
Profile Joined December 2011
Norway1607 Posts
May 31 2013 15:11 GMT
#3454
On May 31 2013 23:56 Killscreen wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 31 2013 23:09 kyllinghest wrote:
On May 31 2013 22:59 kaykaykay wrote:
So you're suggesting I assume that she's interested.

"Yo, stop it, you have a boyfriend already."
"Well, who said anything about liking you anyway?"

I'm just trying to be nice and keep it cool yo. Maybe I shouldn't have thrown that part in about the hareem building.
But I was genuinely trying to be nice.
I mean cmon, this applies to both genders.
If some dude keeps asking you out, many times, doing all the goofy stuff, the least you could do was try ONE date out yes?

Im sure you are a very nice guy, and perhaps it was kind and polite to go on that one date. I still think you should tell her how you feel about her now.

I dont want to troll you here man, but "tell her how you feel" is almost always a bad idea regardless of context, and certainly in this one. It would be awkward as fuck.

Men don't talk about our feeling unless we absolutely have to, and when we do have to, we lie.





I think you and I have a very different approach to other people, lets just agree to disagree.
"NO" -Has
ComaDose
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada10357 Posts
May 31 2013 15:18 GMT
#3455
On May 31 2013 23:56 Killscreen wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 31 2013 23:09 kyllinghest wrote:
On May 31 2013 22:59 kaykaykay wrote:
So you're suggesting I assume that she's interested.

"Yo, stop it, you have a boyfriend already."
"Well, who said anything about liking you anyway?"

I'm just trying to be nice and keep it cool yo. Maybe I shouldn't have thrown that part in about the hareem building.
But I was genuinely trying to be nice.
I mean cmon, this applies to both genders.
If some dude keeps asking you out, many times, doing all the goofy stuff, the least you could do was try ONE date out yes?

Im sure you are a very nice guy, and perhaps it was kind and polite to go on that one date. I still think you should tell her how you feel about her now.

I dont want to troll you here man, but "tell her how you feel" is almost always a bad idea regardless of context, and certainly in this one. It would be awkward as fuck.

Men don't talk about our feeling unless we absolutely have to, and when we do have to, we lie.

stop slandering my gender!
BW pros training sc2 is like kiss making a dub step album.
TheFish7
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
United States2824 Posts
May 31 2013 15:19 GMT
#3456
On May 31 2013 23:31 NotSorry wrote:
I recently discovered online dating sites and holy shit it's like shooting fish in a barrel, with it aiding my day and club game I've gone of the hottest streak of my life picking up ~25-30 girls in just under 6weeks including ~5-6 HB9.5s. Altho I got back together with my wife this weekend it was still a fun break.

Would start the morning tossing out copy/paste openers probably with a 60-70% reply rate, 2-3messages later getting their number for texts 2-3texts later setting up a date, often having 2 or 3 dates lined up daily. Was also a real nice confidence booster which lead to me being a lot better at just randomly picking up girls on the street, at a store or where ever I saw one I liked.


Which site(s)?
~ ~ <°)))><~ ~ ~
Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
May 31 2013 15:24 GMT
#3457
On June 01 2013 00:19 TheFish7 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 31 2013 23:31 NotSorry wrote:
I recently discovered online dating sites and holy shit it's like shooting fish in a barrel, with it aiding my day and club game I've gone of the hottest streak of my life picking up ~25-30 girls in just under 6weeks including ~5-6 HB9.5s. Altho I got back together with my wife this weekend it was still a fun break.

Would start the morning tossing out copy/paste openers probably with a 60-70% reply rate, 2-3messages later getting their number for texts 2-3texts later setting up a date, often having 2 or 3 dates lined up daily. Was also a real nice confidence booster which lead to me being a lot better at just randomly picking up girls on the street, at a store or where ever I saw one I liked.


Which site(s)?

Teamliquid

try the KMD, lots of girls putting up selfies in there
Что?
kaykaykay
Profile Joined July 2012
Singapore637 Posts
May 31 2013 15:25 GMT
#3458
On May 31 2013 23:56 Killscreen wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 31 2013 23:09 kyllinghest wrote:
On May 31 2013 22:59 kaykaykay wrote:
So you're suggesting I assume that she's interested.

"Yo, stop it, you have a boyfriend already."
"Well, who said anything about liking you anyway?"

I'm just trying to be nice and keep it cool yo. Maybe I shouldn't have thrown that part in about the hareem building.
But I was genuinely trying to be nice.
I mean cmon, this applies to both genders.
If some dude keeps asking you out, many times, doing all the goofy stuff, the least you could do was try ONE date out yes?

Im sure you are a very nice guy, and perhaps it was kind and polite to go on that one date. I still think you should tell her how you feel about her now.

I dont want to troll you here man, but "tell her how you feel" is almost always a bad idea regardless of context, and certainly in this one. It would be awkward as fuck.

Men don't talk about our feeling unless we absolutely have to, and when we do have to, we lie.






I have to agree with him here.

Attractive men look like they're always in control and 'coming clean' with your feelings will inevitably lead to her thinking you're weird/creepy.
Starve the ego, feed the soul.
kyllinghest
Profile Joined December 2011
Norway1607 Posts
May 31 2013 15:29 GMT
#3459
On June 01 2013 00:25 kaykaykay wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 31 2013 23:56 Killscreen wrote:
On May 31 2013 23:09 kyllinghest wrote:
On May 31 2013 22:59 kaykaykay wrote:
So you're suggesting I assume that she's interested.

"Yo, stop it, you have a boyfriend already."
"Well, who said anything about liking you anyway?"

I'm just trying to be nice and keep it cool yo. Maybe I shouldn't have thrown that part in about the hareem building.
But I was genuinely trying to be nice.
I mean cmon, this applies to both genders.
If some dude keeps asking you out, many times, doing all the goofy stuff, the least you could do was try ONE date out yes?

Im sure you are a very nice guy, and perhaps it was kind and polite to go on that one date. I still think you should tell her how you feel about her now.

I dont want to troll you here man, but "tell her how you feel" is almost always a bad idea regardless of context, and certainly in this one. It would be awkward as fuck.

Men don't talk about our feeling unless we absolutely have to, and when we do have to, we lie.






I have to agree with him here.

Attractive men look like they're always in control and 'coming clean' with your feelings will inevitably lead to her thinking you're weird/creepy.

What ever works for you then. Be yourself and some day you will find the right girls for you!
"NO" -Has
Killscreen
Profile Joined February 2012
188 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-31 15:43:41
May 31 2013 15:40 GMT
#3460
On June 01 2013 00:11 kyllinghest wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 31 2013 23:56 Killscreen wrote:
On May 31 2013 23:09 kyllinghest wrote:
On May 31 2013 22:59 kaykaykay wrote:
So you're suggesting I assume that she's interested.

"Yo, stop it, you have a boyfriend already."
"Well, who said anything about liking you anyway?"

I'm just trying to be nice and keep it cool yo. Maybe I shouldn't have thrown that part in about the hareem building.
But I was genuinely trying to be nice.
I mean cmon, this applies to both genders.
If some dude keeps asking you out, many times, doing all the goofy stuff, the least you could do was try ONE date out yes?

Im sure you are a very nice guy, and perhaps it was kind and polite to go on that one date. I still think you should tell her how you feel about her now.

I dont want to troll you here man, but "tell her how you feel" is almost always a bad idea regardless of context, and certainly in this one. It would be awkward as fuck.

Men don't talk about our feeling unless we absolutely have to, and when we do have to, we lie.

I think you and I have a very different approach to other people, lets just agree to disagree.

Like I said, im not trying to troll or antagonize you. It's just hard for me to hold my tongue when I know for a fact that you are giving bad advice. Can I ask how old you are?

The truth is this; genetically we are all cavemen, and women today respond to the same thing cave women did. Dont think for a second that sexual preference is decided by anything other than genes; it's way too important to be left up to chance. They want a guy who wont put up with their shit, who will spank their ass and pull their hair. Its an ugly truth, and super politically incorrect, but the truth nonetheless.

Sex for the feminine is an act of submission to the dominant masculine. Doesn't mean they submit in other contexts, but when it comes to sex they do, or at least want to.

Bottom line; if you want to succeed with women you need to be a man who is capable of dominating them in bed. A sensitive man who talks about his feelings a lot just isn't that man. I realize that the guy we are talking about isnt trying to have sex with this girl, but the principle still applies. Be a man!

Watch HBOs Rome and look how Marc Anthony behaves for a good example of what a dominant alpha male looks like.
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