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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On May 08 2013 05:09 Snotling wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2013 05:03 Zooper31 wrote:On May 08 2013 00:17 kaluro wrote:On May 08 2013 00:13 marvellosity wrote:On May 08 2013 00:12 kaluro wrote:
Especially your final sentence "But it seems like a lot of girls are like that..", if you have experience with 'a lot of girls' ignoring you, then the only returning factor is you, am I right? I have not once had a girl ignore me after I showed interest, yet you seemed to have a returning experience. Are you sure you're not just unimaginably handsome? Positive, I'm not the worst looking + do strength training (bodybuilding if you will) but not a huge stand out either. I'm merely confident and take good care of my body/fashion. + Show Spoiler +![[image loading]](https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/538809_10151253783873573_1430796940_n.jpg) ![[image loading]](https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/314171_10151222205143573_21890759_n.jpg) Me and the girlfriend after a decent workout :D....and dont worry, I have a proper haircut now, sides ~5-6 milimeter, top a bit longer, to the side kind of. dry matte look. ![[image loading]](https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/418131_10151414457403573_721444643_n.jpg) and when in doubt if i'm impersonating someone, I stream with cam included, at least 3 hours a day. ^_^ (see signature) No you're just modest, you're def good looking. No chick is gonna deny a first contact by you as long as you arn't sending off a major rapey vibe. you cant post pictures like taht in a thread like this. someone will gut hurt. dont know who, but someone will :D
Pictures like what? You confuse me, sorry anyway ~_~!
On May 08 2013 05:21 TOCHMY wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2013 00:17 kaluro wrote:On May 08 2013 00:13 marvellosity wrote:On May 08 2013 00:12 kaluro wrote:
Especially your final sentence "But it seems like a lot of girls are like that..", if you have experience with 'a lot of girls' ignoring you, then the only returning factor is you, am I right? I have not once had a girl ignore me after I showed interest, yet you seemed to have a returning experience. Are you sure you're not just unimaginably handsome? Positive, I'm not the worst looking + do strength training (bodybuilding if you will) but not a huge stand out either. I'm merely confident and take good care of my body/fashion. + Show Spoiler +Me and the girlfriend after a decent workout :D....and dont worry, I have a proper haircut now, sides ~5-6 milimeter, top a bit longer, to the side kind of. dry matte look. and when in doubt if i'm impersonating someone, I stream with cam included, at least 3 hours a day. ^_^ (see signature) Grubby's lil brother?
Too bad I didn't inherit his skills then huh :p
On May 08 2013 05:03 Zooper31 wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2013 00:17 kaluro wrote:On May 08 2013 00:13 marvellosity wrote:On May 08 2013 00:12 kaluro wrote:
Especially your final sentence "But it seems like a lot of girls are like that..", if you have experience with 'a lot of girls' ignoring you, then the only returning factor is you, am I right? I have not once had a girl ignore me after I showed interest, yet you seemed to have a returning experience. Are you sure you're not just unimaginably handsome? Positive, I'm not the worst looking + do strength training (bodybuilding if you will) but not a huge stand out either. I'm merely confident and take good care of my body/fashion. + Show Spoiler +Me and the girlfriend after a decent workout :D....and dont worry, I have a proper haircut now, sides ~5-6 milimeter, top a bit longer, to the side kind of. dry matte look. and when in doubt if i'm impersonating someone, I stream with cam included, at least 3 hours a day. ^_^ (see signature) No you're just modest, you're def good looking. No chick is gonna deny a first contact by you as long as you arn't sending off a major rapey vibe.
Thank you but I am really not that special, I just look after my body and myself.. makes a world of differece in my opinion. If you are decently built,have a decent haircut, hygiëne and fashion, looks aren't thát important. It's as you say, about the vibe you give off and first impressions looks wise (which don't depent that much on your looks at all, assuming you're not a 1/10).
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Northern Ireland25308 Posts
I'd be interested actually, the guys who seem to do well for themselves in this thread I would wager are not all adonis', but have a lot of other factors going for them. Hell we could 'test' it with photos, I'm pretty confident that would turn out to be the case (not that we have to or anything!)
The looks thing is somewhat overstated when it comes to women, a lot more factors come into play for them when it comes to who they find attractive (for the most part).
Also I am honoured to see that Grubby posts among us in pseudonym form, not sure how Cassandra will feel about it mind.
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On May 08 2013 06:23 Wombat_NI wrote:
I'd be interested actually, the guys who seem to do well for themselves in this thread I would wager are not all adonis', but have a lot of other factors going for them. Hell we could 'test' it with photos, I'm pretty confident that would turn out to be the case (not that we have to or anything!)
The looks thing is somewhat overstated when it comes to women, a lot more factors come into play for them when it comes to who they find attractive (for the most part).
Also I am honoured to see that Grubby posts among us in pseudonym form, not sure how Cassandra will feel about it mind.
It's strange, throughout my childhood I was often told how remarkable I was in my physical unattractiveness, yet my mother insisted I was very handsome. Must be a conspiracy afoot.
I do work out a bit, probably more than I should, it's more an addiction than a hobby, so I don't know, never paid much attention to how I looked.
I never really felt it was a factor when I was still into the strange social circus of human mating rituals. I know plenty of butt-ugly guys with girlfriends. My sister has a kid with a fat slob who eats chips for dinner. Just being chill goes a long way. I always had the most luck when I was genuinely trying to ignore someone, apparently that sets off some kind of deeply rooted instinct.
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On May 08 2013 03:53 Shiori wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2013 03:51 Shady Sands wrote:
She wants a pony. I'm tempted to tell her she can ride me instead. Is that too aggressive? As long as you use a winky face it's fine.
As long as you use an emoticon your fine.
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Does anyone ever feel nervous around girls? Like usually im not a nervous guy, i like to make people life but this girl just takes the words outta my mouth. I'm really afraid to say anything but i feel like i have to say something. Anyone else ever feel this?
I act like my regular self around other attractive girls but this one just messes with my brain. I have no idea what to do.
Look at me now, asking advice on a online forum. What have I done -_'-
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On May 08 2013 06:43 KaiserKieran wrote:
Does anyone ever feel nervous around girls? Like usually im not a nervous guy, i like to make people life but this girl just takes the words outta my mouth. I'm really afraid to say anything but i feel like i have to say something. Anyone else ever feel this?
I act like my regular self around other attractive girls but this one just messes with my brain. I have no idea what to do.
Look at me now, asking advice on a online forum. What have I done -_'-
No shame in wanting help. Lord knows everyone needs it sooner or later.
I know exactly what you mean. Some girls I just click with and its no big deal, others make me nervous. Try just forcing yourself to say something to her and start a conversation, and then try to actually just listen and react instead of planing the whole thing out in your head. I'm guilty of trying to pre-plan conversations sometimes, and then I can't have real interaction because I'm worried about what to say next. People really like it when you are genuinely listening to them and not just waiting for your turn to talk.
Its remarkable how many people don't actually bite if you make the effort to say talk to them.
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On May 08 2013 06:43 KaiserKieran wrote:
Does anyone ever feel nervous around girls? Like usually im not a nervous guy, i like to make people life but this girl just takes the words outta my mouth. I'm really afraid to say anything but i feel like i have to say something. Anyone else ever feel this?
I act like my regular self around other attractive girls but this one just messes with my brain. I have no idea what to do.
Look at me now, asking advice on a online forum. What have I done -_'-
I knew a girl like that freshman year of college. Completely out of my league, head over heels infatuated for a few months, never was even acknowledged by her. Definitely a humbling experience.
My advice is to just forget about her. Contrary to what Hollywood implies, it's not romantic to make a fool of yourself
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On May 08 2013 06:43 KaiserKieran wrote:
Does anyone ever feel nervous around girls? Like usually im not a nervous guy, i like to make people life but this girl just takes the words outta my mouth. I'm really afraid to say anything but i feel like i have to say something. Anyone else ever feel this?
I act like my regular self around other attractive girls but this one just messes with my brain. I have no idea what to do.
Look at me now, asking advice on a online forum. What have I done -_'-
Sounds like a challenge bro! Shoulders rolled back, chest forward, head upwards...Go get her!
Do you know any hobbies/interests she engages in? If so, think of a couple of questions/things to say. before you engage her. Practice on those. When the conversation is at a halt, grab one of those practiced lines out of your bucket and get the flow going again ^_^.
Make sure to always give open questions and answers, stuff she can't just say "No" or "Yes" to.
It's the difference between "First thing I noticed were those shoes, damn they look nice" and "Wow, great looking shoes you have there, they really compliment you. Where do you usually shop for them?" <-- Just a fictive comparison, dont use those lines for your own sake x)!
Watch her sign language, try to notice whether she's feeling (too) comfortable or (slightly) incomfortable and try to get her to feel at ease as soon as possible. Start a conversation about a topic she loves and knows a lot about. Is her spare time hobby hockey? get the topic going!
You don't have to be 100% spontaneous during the first few meets, you can actually do your research on the girl and get a good chat foundation going.
Also make sure you don't start fiddling with your hands/hair/legs, but stand confident and relaxed, even if you are not.
Give off the vibe "I am confident, I am at ease, nothing to worry about.. just a nice chat!" and she'll sooner or later adopt it.
Also you can try to give yourself that extra boost beforehand.. Shower a few minutes longer, getting that extra bit of hygiëne. Take extra care when shaving, put on some extra eau de cologne or put on clothes you normally would not wear that quickly. Just that extra boost that makes you feel that tiny bit more confident about yourself, compared to how you'd usually feel.
Good luck bro!~
On May 08 2013 06:53 Shady Sands wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2013 06:43 KaiserKieran wrote:
Does anyone ever feel nervous around girls? Like usually im not a nervous guy, i like to make people life but this girl just takes the words outta my mouth. I'm really afraid to say anything but i feel like i have to say something. Anyone else ever feel this?
I act like my regular self around other attractive girls but this one just messes with my brain. I have no idea what to do.
Look at me now, asking advice on a online forum. What have I done -_'- I knew a girl like that freshman year of college. Completely out of my league, head over heels infatuated for a few months, never was even acknowledged by her. Definitely a humbling experience. My advice is to just forget about her. Contrary to what Hollywood implies, it's not romantic to make a fool of yourself
OUch ouch ouch, néver walk away from someone because you're insecure. If you do that, you're just feeding your insecurity and it will go worse and soon enough you won't be able to make any progression towards females anymore.
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Northern Ireland25308 Posts
On May 08 2013 06:36 McBengt wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2013 06:23 Wombat_NI wrote:
I'd be interested actually, the guys who seem to do well for themselves in this thread I would wager are not all adonis', but have a lot of other factors going for them. Hell we could 'test' it with photos, I'm pretty confident that would turn out to be the case (not that we have to or anything!)
The looks thing is somewhat overstated when it comes to women, a lot more factors come into play for them when it comes to who they find attractive (for the most part).
Also I am honoured to see that Grubby posts among us in pseudonym form, not sure how Cassandra will feel about it mind. It's strange, throughout my childhood I was often told how remarkable I was in my physical unattractiveness, yet my mother insisted I was very handsome. Must be a conspiracy afoot. I do work out a bit, probably more than I should, it's more an addiction than a hobby, so I don't know, never paid much attention to how I looked. I never really felt it was a factor when I was still into the strange social circus of human mating rituals. I know plenty of butt-ugly guys with girlfriends. My sister has a kid with a fat slob who eats chips for dinner. Just being chill goes a long way. I always had the most luck when I was genuinely trying to ignore someone, apparently that sets off some kind of deeply rooted instinct.
Yeah, I actually found not really concerning myself with these creatures known as 'girls' in my teenage years put me in good stead for later life. Got to cultivate interests and whatnot. That said, I have also gained from my demeanour of misanthropic moodiness being mistaken for playing 'hard to get'
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On May 08 2013 06:53 Shady Sands wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2013 06:43 KaiserKieran wrote:
Does anyone ever feel nervous around girls? Like usually im not a nervous guy, i like to make people life but this girl just takes the words outta my mouth. I'm really afraid to say anything but i feel like i have to say something. Anyone else ever feel this?
I act like my regular self around other attractive girls but this one just messes with my brain. I have no idea what to do.
Look at me now, asking advice on a online forum. What have I done -_'- I knew a girl like that freshman year of college. Completely out of my league, head over heels infatuated for a few months, never was even acknowledged by her. Definitely a humbling experience. My advice is to just forget about her. Contrary to what Hollywood implies, it's not romantic to make a fool of yourself
It's ok there have been girls like that for just about every guy. I'd say either say hi to her and take a stab, or just forget it and use the experience of being dumbfounded as a humbling one. Talk to other girls and practice it, once a day, even if you are just saying hi to a friend of a friend, it gets easier as you go  .
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On May 08 2013 07:22 Wombat_NI wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2013 06:36 McBengt wrote:On May 08 2013 06:23 Wombat_NI wrote:
I'd be interested actually, the guys who seem to do well for themselves in this thread I would wager are not all adonis', but have a lot of other factors going for them. Hell we could 'test' it with photos, I'm pretty confident that would turn out to be the case (not that we have to or anything!)
The looks thing is somewhat overstated when it comes to women, a lot more factors come into play for them when it comes to who they find attractive (for the most part).
Also I am honoured to see that Grubby posts among us in pseudonym form, not sure how Cassandra will feel about it mind. It's strange, throughout my childhood I was often told how remarkable I was in my physical unattractiveness, yet my mother insisted I was very handsome. Must be a conspiracy afoot. I do work out a bit, probably more than I should, it's more an addiction than a hobby, so I don't know, never paid much attention to how I looked. I never really felt it was a factor when I was still into the strange social circus of human mating rituals. I know plenty of butt-ugly guys with girlfriends. My sister has a kid with a fat slob who eats chips for dinner. Just being chill goes a long way. I always had the most luck when I was genuinely trying to ignore someone, apparently that sets off some kind of deeply rooted instinct. Yeah, I actually found not really concerning myself with these creatures known as 'girls' in my teenage years put me in good stead for later life. Got to cultivate interests and whatnot. That said, I have also gained from my demeanour of misanthropic moodiness being mistaken for playing 'hard to get'
I can feel that. I am fractionally more social and outgoing than Eeyore, on a good day. For some reason this is often misinterpreted as being a jerk, or being intentionally dismissive. Which in turn makes some people want to socialize with me. We are a strange species.
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Northern Ireland25308 Posts
I'm pretty sociable and outgoing, but outside of things I enjoy, not at all. I don't dance for example, and find drunken strangers in bars an utter annoyance. Blunt honesty too is endearing apparently :p
At least Im consistent though I guess, girls have a good radar for fakery and try-hard behaviour. No point not being yourself, but be the best 'you' you can be, to reiterate points on self-improvement.
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Text message preview reads "Your a nice guy but I..."
Deleted the message and the conversation. No good ever comes out of that opener. Time to try with a different girl.
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Northern Ireland25308 Posts
On May 08 2013 08:20 Orcasgt24 wrote:
Text message preview reads "Your a nice guy but I..."
Deleted the message and the conversation. No good ever comes out of that opener. Time to try with a different girl.
Yeah, closing it was a good call, can't have a girl who doesn't have good grammar.
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I actually blocked some chick from my gym on facebook over that. She typed like a cavewoman. It was like she smashed the keyboard with her palms and hoped whatever came out would make sense.
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Northern Ireland25308 Posts
I have my standards. I do genuinely find text-speak a big turnoff, only thing above that in a similar ilk is girls who take a big interest in celebrity gossip and reality TV and expect me to converse about those topics. Nothing wrong if that's their thing, but it's not mine.
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That is what turned me of off dating in the first place, I just could not bring myself to pretend to care about superficial bullshit. And I really don't miss it, made me want to punch kittens.
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Northern Ireland25308 Posts
Well yeah you're aiming to consummate our E-relationship in the interim right?
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On May 08 2013 07:14 kaluro wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2013 06:43 KaiserKieran wrote:
Does anyone ever feel nervous around girls? Like usually im not a nervous guy, i like to make people life but this girl just takes the words outta my mouth. I'm really afraid to say anything but i feel like i have to say something. Anyone else ever feel this?
I act like my regular self around other attractive girls but this one just messes with my brain. I have no idea what to do.
Look at me now, asking advice on a online forum. What have I done -_'- Sounds like a challenge bro! Shoulders rolled back, chest forward, head upwards...Go get her! Do you know any hobbies/interests she engages in? If so, think of a couple of questions/things to say. before you engage her. Practice on those. When the conversation is at a halt, grab one of those practiced lines out of your bucket and get the flow going again ^_^. Make sure to always give open questions and answers, stuff she can't just say "No" or "Yes" to. It's the difference between "First thing I noticed were those shoes, damn they look nice" and "Wow, great looking shoes you have there, they really compliment you. Where do you usually shop for them?" <-- Just a fictive comparison, dont use those lines for your own sake x)! Watch her sign language, try to notice whether she's feeling (too) comfortable or (slightly) incomfortable and try to get her to feel at ease as soon as possible. Start a conversation about a topic she loves and knows a lot about. Is her spare time hobby hockey? get the topic going! You don't have to be 100% spontaneous during the first few meets, you can actually do your research on the girl and get a good chat foundation going. Also make sure you don't start fiddling with your hands/hair/legs, but stand confident and relaxed, even if you are not. Give off the vibe "I am confident, I am at ease, nothing to worry about.. just a nice chat!" and she'll sooner or later adopt it. Also you can try to give yourself that extra boost beforehand.. Shower a few minutes longer, getting that extra bit of hygiëne. Take extra care when shaving, put on some extra eau de cologne or put on clothes you normally would not wear that quickly. Just that extra boost that makes you feel that tiny bit more confident about yourself, compared to how you'd usually feel. Good luck bro!~ Show nested quote +On May 08 2013 06:53 Shady Sands wrote:On May 08 2013 06:43 KaiserKieran wrote:
Does anyone ever feel nervous around girls? Like usually im not a nervous guy, i like to make people life but this girl just takes the words outta my mouth. I'm really afraid to say anything but i feel like i have to say something. Anyone else ever feel this?
I act like my regular self around other attractive girls but this one just messes with my brain. I have no idea what to do.
Look at me now, asking advice on a online forum. What have I done -_'- I knew a girl like that freshman year of college. Completely out of my league, head over heels infatuated for a few months, never was even acknowledged by her. Definitely a humbling experience. My advice is to just forget about her. Contrary to what Hollywood implies, it's not romantic to make a fool of yourself OUch ouch ouch, néver walk away from someone because you're insecure. If you do that, you're just feeding your insecurity and it will go worse and soon enough you won't be able to make any progression towards females anymore.
Thanks man. I'll see how it goes :D
This thread isn't bad at all <3
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On May 08 2013 08:52 KaiserKieran wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2013 07:14 kaluro wrote:On May 08 2013 06:43 KaiserKieran wrote:
Does anyone ever feel nervous around girls? Like usually im not a nervous guy, i like to make people life but this girl just takes the words outta my mouth. I'm really afraid to say anything but i feel like i have to say something. Anyone else ever feel this?
I act like my regular self around other attractive girls but this one just messes with my brain. I have no idea what to do.
Look at me now, asking advice on a online forum. What have I done -_'- Sounds like a challenge bro! Shoulders rolled back, chest forward, head upwards...Go get her! Do you know any hobbies/interests she engages in? If so, think of a couple of questions/things to say. before you engage her. Practice on those. When the conversation is at a halt, grab one of those practiced lines out of your bucket and get the flow going again ^_^. Make sure to always give open questions and answers, stuff she can't just say "No" or "Yes" to. It's the difference between "First thing I noticed were those shoes, damn they look nice" and "Wow, great looking shoes you have there, they really compliment you. Where do you usually shop for them?" <-- Just a fictive comparison, dont use those lines for your own sake x)! Watch her sign language, try to notice whether she's feeling (too) comfortable or (slightly) incomfortable and try to get her to feel at ease as soon as possible. Start a conversation about a topic she loves and knows a lot about. Is her spare time hobby hockey? get the topic going! You don't have to be 100% spontaneous during the first few meets, you can actually do your research on the girl and get a good chat foundation going. Also make sure you don't start fiddling with your hands/hair/legs, but stand confident and relaxed, even if you are not. Give off the vibe "I am confident, I am at ease, nothing to worry about.. just a nice chat!" and she'll sooner or later adopt it. Also you can try to give yourself that extra boost beforehand.. Shower a few minutes longer, getting that extra bit of hygiëne. Take extra care when shaving, put on some extra eau de cologne or put on clothes you normally would not wear that quickly. Just that extra boost that makes you feel that tiny bit more confident about yourself, compared to how you'd usually feel. Good luck bro!~ On May 08 2013 06:53 Shady Sands wrote:On May 08 2013 06:43 KaiserKieran wrote:
Does anyone ever feel nervous around girls? Like usually im not a nervous guy, i like to make people life but this girl just takes the words outta my mouth. I'm really afraid to say anything but i feel like i have to say something. Anyone else ever feel this?
I act like my regular self around other attractive girls but this one just messes with my brain. I have no idea what to do.
Look at me now, asking advice on a online forum. What have I done -_'- I knew a girl like that freshman year of college. Completely out of my league, head over heels infatuated for a few months, never was even acknowledged by her. Definitely a humbling experience. My advice is to just forget about her. Contrary to what Hollywood implies, it's not romantic to make a fool of yourself OUch ouch ouch, néver walk away from someone because you're insecure. If you do that, you're just feeding your insecurity and it will go worse and soon enough you won't be able to make any progression towards females anymore. Thanks man. I'll see how it goes :D This thread isn't bad at all <3
Good luck, keep us posted!  !
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