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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On May 07 2013 07:26 babylon wrote:
my roommate's trying to get away from this guy who's her classmate who's always asking her to hang out (like every other day or something like that).
she's been brushing him off all the time, 'cause she's not interested in him as a bf and not really interested in him as a conversation partner either, just wants to keep it at friendly acquaintances.
but she can't tell him to stop it, because he hasn't made any explicit advances yet, so she thinks it'd be presumptuous to tell him that she's not interested in him. but then he just keeps asking her out to these small not-really-dates, and she's so exasperated now that she's agreeing to them occasionally in the hopes that he'll finally make an explicit advance so she can just shut him down hard.
(note: this has been going on for like 6+ months.)
lesson being: don't waffle around thinking, "does she like me, does she not like me?" because then it just causes annoyance/pain for both parties. rip it off like a goddamn bandage.
I would really advise her to be careful, to be honest, because it's these type of situations that can ultimately lead to trouble. He might think that he's making progress and that she's encouraging him, only to be very frustrated in the end.
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Girl has told me she wants me to 'take her on an adventure tonight'
I suggested a place with 2$ drafts. She accepted so long as I 'walk her home to her place because it's not safe'. Wants to 'show me her paintings at home' too.
All I gotta say is why the euphemisms ><
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United Kingdom36161 Posts
On May 08 2013 00:53 Shady Sands wrote:
Girl has told me she wants me to 'take her on an adventure tonight'
I suggested a place with 2$ drafts. She accepted so long as I 'walk her home to her place because it's not safe'. Wants to 'show me her paintings at home' too.
All I gotta say is why the euphemisms ><
Because euphemisms are great fun. Embrace it!
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Two weeks ago some girl hit on me in a party. This never happened before.. We were both pretty drunk and were making out, whatever. Then I called her and we met 2 days later, and kinda continued where we stopped last time. How should I say this? That meeting still kind of had the momentum of the party going on. I walked her home after.
After that we were both busy and couldn't meet for a week. Then she called yesterday evening and we met in the city, quite unexpectedly (at least for me). It was terrible. We were both tired after a long day, I felt like ZERO sexual tension between us and it went really bad. We talked for like 3-4 hours about terribly boring things, and we had a little kiss on the lips only when saying goodbye.
It's like I discovered that she's not my type at all and I don't feel attraction anymore. This will turn awkward really fast. Any advice?
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On May 08 2013 00:12 kaluro wrote:Show nested quote +On May 07 2013 23:54 B.I.G. wrote:
happened to me so often that I invited a girl on a date by text or w/e and she just flatout ignored me.. In my case it was never a "hidden signal" or whatever and just plain old uninterested and being too awkward to say no. It's a pain but it seems like a lot of girls are like that.. I am fairly confident that if you are being ignored, you yourself did something to make the situation so awkward, that the girl didn't know how to respond. If you would've made the girl at hand feel at ease, she would have repled back. Now, I don't know the context at all, but most of the time it's the other person that is the cause of the person at hand not responding. If you were really awkward, pushy, insecure, cocky, mean, nerdy, foolish or had some awkward situations or have an awkward personality towards theo ther person, the other person is inclined to not even consider replying. Instead of pointing the finger at the other person, you should look at yourself first, golden advice - trust me. Especially your final sentence "But it seems like a lot of girls are like that..", if you have experience with 'a lot of girls' ignoring you, then the only returning factor is you, am I right? I have not once had a girl ignore me after I showed interest, yet you seemed to have a returning experience. Also if your looks (clothes, hair, hygiëne, (un)shaved etc) are not fashionable and/or unhealthy looking or if you have sweaty(smelly) armpits or whatever other negative point - It automatically creates an awkward situation in which the girl wants to get away ASAP and/or not to ever take you serious. Not meant to be an asshole towards you by the way, Just trying to help you (possibly) enlighten the entire context/situation!
Well thanks for the sympathy but I don't have problems with girls. Plenty of girls like me but I was just pointing out to the guy I quoted that that shit happens a lot. Yes ofcourse the reason that the girl isn't interested is you 99% of the time, but what I was trying to say that ignoring is the way a lot of girls respond to that. In other words: In my experience a girl rarely will straight up say to you that she is not interested romantically in you and rather would avoid the situation somehow.
And @ freelander: keep it platonic. let your penis do the talking if you will.
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On May 08 2013 01:28 freelander wrote:
Two weeks ago some girl hit on me in a party. This never happened before.. We were both pretty drunk and were making out, whatever. Then I called her and we met 2 days later, and kinda continued where we stopped last time. How should I say this? That meeting still kind of had the momentum of the party going on. I walked her home after.
After that we were both busy and couldn't meet for a week. Then she called yesterday evening and we met in the city, quite unexpectedly (at least for me). It was terrible. We were both tired after a long day, I felt like ZERO sexual tension between us and it went really bad. We talked for like 3-4 hours about terribly boring things, and we had a little kiss on the lips only when saying goodbye.
It's like I discovered that she's not my type at all and I don't feel attraction anymore. This will turn awkward really fast. Any advice?
Sometimes those sort of hookups will lead to something serious and sometimes they won't. If she's not your type, then theres really nothing you can do about that. Sorry!
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On May 08 2013 01:02 marvellosity wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2013 00:53 Shady Sands wrote:
Girl has told me she wants me to 'take her on an adventure tonight'
I suggested a place with 2$ drafts. She accepted so long as I 'walk her home to her place because it's not safe'. Wants to 'show me her paintings at home' too.
All I gotta say is why the euphemisms >< Because euphemisms are great fun. Embrace it!
I know I know
It's just that I tend to be ridiculously blunt to the ladies (and I expect bluntness in return), so it always throws me off
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On May 08 2013 01:28 freelander wrote:
Two weeks ago some girl hit on me in a party. This never happened before.. We were both pretty drunk and were making out, whatever. Then I called her and we met 2 days later, and kinda continued where we stopped last time. How should I say this? That meeting still kind of had the momentum of the party going on. I walked her home after.
After that we were both busy and couldn't meet for a week. Then she called yesterday evening and we met in the city, quite unexpectedly (at least for me). It was terrible. We were both tired after a long day, I felt like ZERO sexual tension between us and it went really bad. We talked for like 3-4 hours about terribly boring things, and we had a little kiss on the lips only when saying goodbye.
It's like I discovered that she's not my type at all and I don't feel attraction anymore. This will turn awkward really fast. Any advice?
In my opinion you should say that you what happened is just an occurrence you decided to give a chance to,since you thought that it could actually lead to something more, however, it just didn't develop into what you thought it could. But believe me, the earlier you tell her that the better. You do not want to wait until she starts getting more serious, then there will be problems .
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On May 08 2013 01:08 greenrose wrote:
What's dating? @_@
Pretty much my life.
Fuck DNA.
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On May 08 2013 02:01 MagmaPunch wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2013 01:28 freelander wrote:
Two weeks ago some girl hit on me in a party. This never happened before.. We were both pretty drunk and were making out, whatever. Then I called her and we met 2 days later, and kinda continued where we stopped last time. How should I say this? That meeting still kind of had the momentum of the party going on. I walked her home after.
After that we were both busy and couldn't meet for a week. Then she called yesterday evening and we met in the city, quite unexpectedly (at least for me). It was terrible. We were both tired after a long day, I felt like ZERO sexual tension between us and it went really bad. We talked for like 3-4 hours about terribly boring things, and we had a little kiss on the lips only when saying goodbye.
It's like I discovered that she's not my type at all and I don't feel attraction anymore. This will turn awkward really fast. Any advice? In my opinion you should say that you what happened is just an occurrence you decided to give a chance to,since you thought that it could actually lead to something more, however, it just didn't develop into what you thought it could. But believe me, the earlier you tell her that the better. You do not want to wait until she starts getting more serious, then there will be problems .
Thanks all for the answers. I'll probably go with this solution. This situation sucks.
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Yes it does, because it really is awkward and simply unpleasant, but things like that happen, we all make strange things under the influence of alcohol and it is best to end it now, compared to later, when it could be more complicated than it is now.
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On May 08 2013 02:05 freelander wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2013 02:01 MagmaPunch wrote:On May 08 2013 01:28 freelander wrote:
Two weeks ago some girl hit on me in a party. This never happened before.. We were both pretty drunk and were making out, whatever. Then I called her and we met 2 days later, and kinda continued where we stopped last time. How should I say this? That meeting still kind of had the momentum of the party going on. I walked her home after.
After that we were both busy and couldn't meet for a week. Then she called yesterday evening and we met in the city, quite unexpectedly (at least for me). It was terrible. We were both tired after a long day, I felt like ZERO sexual tension between us and it went really bad. We talked for like 3-4 hours about terribly boring things, and we had a little kiss on the lips only when saying goodbye.
It's like I discovered that she's not my type at all and I don't feel attraction anymore. This will turn awkward really fast. Any advice? In my opinion you should say that you what happened is just an occurrence you decided to give a chance to,since you thought that it could actually lead to something more, however, it just didn't develop into what you thought it could. But believe me, the earlier you tell her that the better. You do not want to wait until she starts getting more serious, then there will be problems . Thanks all for the answers. I'll probably go with this solution. This situation sucks.
It's much less trouble than you make it out to be. If you didn't feel any sexual tension and perceived everything to be boring it's highly likely that it wasn't much better for her.
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On May 08 2013 02:02 Vandrad wrote:Pretty much my life. Fuck DNA.
A quote from Idra feels strangely appropriate here and for this thread in general; "Until the very, very top, in almost everything, all that matters is the amount of work you put in."
Human peer-bonding is a science like any other. Make a simple cost/benefit analysis, how important is this to you vs how much effort you are willing to put in. Advice and the personal experiences of others are generally useless as barometers here because of the huge number of variables, you have calculate for yourself how much time and effort will be required.
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On May 08 2013 02:02 Vandrad wrote:Pretty much my life. Fuck DNA.
Cheer up. Always remember that uglier, less successful people than you have managed to get hot girlfriends. Your DNA isn't what's standing in your way.
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She wants a pony. I'm tempted to tell her she can ride me instead. Is that too aggressive?
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On May 08 2013 03:51 Shady Sands wrote:
She wants a pony. I'm tempted to tell her she can ride me instead. Is that too aggressive?
As long as you use a winky face it's fine.
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On May 08 2013 00:17 kaluro wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2013 00:13 marvellosity wrote:On May 08 2013 00:12 kaluro wrote:
Especially your final sentence "But it seems like a lot of girls are like that..", if you have experience with 'a lot of girls' ignoring you, then the only returning factor is you, am I right? I have not once had a girl ignore me after I showed interest, yet you seemed to have a returning experience. Are you sure you're not just unimaginably handsome? Positive, I'm not the worst looking + do strength training (bodybuilding if you will) but not a huge stand out either. I'm merely confident and take good care of my body/fashion. + Show Spoiler +![[image loading]](https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/538809_10151253783873573_1430796940_n.jpg) ![[image loading]](https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/314171_10151222205143573_21890759_n.jpg) Me and the girlfriend after a decent workout :D....and dont worry, I have a proper haircut now, sides ~5-6 milimeter, top a bit longer, to the side kind of. dry matte look. ![[image loading]](https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/418131_10151414457403573_721444643_n.jpg) and when in doubt if i'm impersonating someone, I stream with cam included, at least 3 hours a day. ^_^ (see signature)
No you're just modest, you're def good looking. No chick is gonna deny a first contact by you as long as you arn't sending off a major rapey vibe.
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On May 08 2013 05:03 Zooper31 wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2013 00:17 kaluro wrote:On May 08 2013 00:13 marvellosity wrote:On May 08 2013 00:12 kaluro wrote:
Especially your final sentence "But it seems like a lot of girls are like that..", if you have experience with 'a lot of girls' ignoring you, then the only returning factor is you, am I right? I have not once had a girl ignore me after I showed interest, yet you seemed to have a returning experience. Are you sure you're not just unimaginably handsome? Positive, I'm not the worst looking + do strength training (bodybuilding if you will) but not a huge stand out either. I'm merely confident and take good care of my body/fashion. + Show Spoiler +Me and the girlfriend after a decent workout :D....and dont worry, I have a proper haircut now, sides ~5-6 milimeter, top a bit longer, to the side kind of. dry matte look. and when in doubt if i'm impersonating someone, I stream with cam included, at least 3 hours a day. ^_^ (see signature) No you're just modest, you're def good looking. No chick is gonna deny a first contact by you as long as you arn't sending off a major rapey vibe.
you cant post pictures like taht in a thread like this. someone will gut hurt. dont know who, but someone will :D
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On May 08 2013 00:17 kaluro wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2013 00:13 marvellosity wrote:On May 08 2013 00:12 kaluro wrote:
Especially your final sentence "But it seems like a lot of girls are like that..", if you have experience with 'a lot of girls' ignoring you, then the only returning factor is you, am I right? I have not once had a girl ignore me after I showed interest, yet you seemed to have a returning experience. Are you sure you're not just unimaginably handsome? Positive, I'm not the worst looking + do strength training (bodybuilding if you will) but not a huge stand out either. I'm merely confident and take good care of my body/fashion. + Show Spoiler +Me and the girlfriend after a decent workout :D....and dont worry, I have a proper haircut now, sides ~5-6 milimeter, top a bit longer, to the side kind of. dry matte look. and when in doubt if i'm impersonating someone, I stream with cam included, at least 3 hours a day. ^_^ (see signature)
Grubby's lil brother?
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EPT
