|
We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On April 23 2013 13:24 babylon wrote:Show nested quote +On April 23 2013 12:12 sunprince wrote:On April 23 2013 10:39 babylon wrote:On April 23 2013 10:21 Wombat_NI wrote:On April 23 2013 08:56 sunprince wrote:On April 23 2013 05:57 Grumbels wrote:On April 23 2013 05:24 McBengt wrote:
Then kindly inform her that I will win her heart as surely as I have won yours. I have a way with women you see, my rugged good looks and dark charms never fail to impress.
Indeed, I am, to my knowledge, the only person to have ever managed to get a woman to headbutt him in the nose, fracturing the nosebone as it were, within five minutes of making her acquaintance. Was it because you told her you wanted to eat her child? He's a man, so of course he must have done something to provoke her, right? Women don't do bad things on their own since they have no agency, amirite? /sarcasm Would you be trying to blame the victim if it was a girl who was assaulted instead of the other way around? "Did he headbutt you because you insulted him?" For someone who supposedly has a "mature perspective on gender issues", you've got some terribly sexist double standards. Em, you are responding to a private joke that I believe Grumbels was privvy to, regarding me and McBengt joking about him devouring my newborn son and my gf's rather less amused reaction I think How embarrassing. Such an over-eager hate crusade on Grumbels just because Grumbels insists on treating women like human beings, lol. Putting women on a pedestal is the opposite of treating women like human beings. How does treating people respectfully equate to putting them on a pedestal?
There is no reason why women should be treated particularly respectfully, when compared to any sort of person. And yet, plenty of people (including, ironically, feminists and social justice warriors) specifically demand respect for women, insist that you should never hit a woman, excuse any bad female behavior, etc. Simply put, if it's a double standard meant to "protect" women, it's putting them on a pedestal.
|
On April 23 2013 13:18 Steel wrote:
Idk man, the idea of dating being a numbers game doesn't feel right in my book. That's not how I want it to go down, you know?. You meet people, get to know them, and sometimes one thing will lead to the next. How often depends on your personality, how approachable you are, your interests, ect.
It is a numbers game, whether you want to lie to yourself and pretend otherwise, or not. Your whole post is phrased in normative terms (what "should" be true), rather than the empirical (what actually is true).
On April 23 2013 13:18 Steel wrote:
Is it weird to dislike the 'try to get the girl every time and eventually it'll work' mentality?
Because it usually doesn't work. Doing so signals that you're a desperate beta male with no options.
On April 23 2013 13:18 Steel wrote:What's wrong with getting to know somebody and making a connection just by being yourself, not necessarily trying to seduce them?
Depends what "being yourself" means. If "yourself" is attractive, then sure, that'll work, but that's not the case for most people.
|
Depends what "being yourself" means. If "yourself" is attractive, then sure, that'll work, but that's not the case for most people.
Depends, being yourself also attracts the people that you'd like to be with. Of course it depends on your goals. If you just want to get laid, do what will increase your chances. But if you're looking for a relationship, you'll attract the wrong people, creating shitty relationships.
|
On April 23 2013 23:38 iAmWaKai wrote:Show nested quote +Depends what "being yourself" means. If "yourself" is attractive, then sure, that'll work, but that's not the case for most people. Depends, being yourself also attracts the people that you'd like to be with. Of course it depends on your goals. If you just want to get laid, do what will increase your chances. But if you're looking for a relationship, you'll attract the wrong people, creating shitty relationships.
Yeah my point exactly. I guess for sunprince over here being laid is the only thing that matters, and that's cool, but I don't think it's automatically the case for everyone.
|
I think the point he's trying to make is valid, even though he is phrasing it rather weakly. In theory, yes "being yourself" and attracting someone with that is great but most people (especially those who heard this advice over and over again) simply don't know what it means to "be yourself". It includes respecting yourself, it includes having strong values, likes and dislikes. It includes having things around you because you want them around you and not being afraid to throw people out of your life who you don't perceive to be adding value to it.
When "just be yourself" seems to fail as an advice for you it won't hurt you to try some things other people suggest. Maybe, just maybe it feels more like who you want to be if you aren't the one holding her coat while another guy talks with her and makes her laugh.
Getting to the point where you, just you, aren't afraid to put yourself out there, aren't afraid of other peoples opinions or feelings - or even your own feelings - is a process that takes effort and time. Simply because it takes so much effort and so few people seem to be able to get it done those people who now literally "are just themselves" are perceived to be attractive.
For someone who isn't even close to that road yet however telling him or her to "just be yourself" is equivalent to telling an aspiring race car driver to "just drive faster than the other guys". Sure it isn't exactly wrong but it's also utterly useless.
|
So I was wonder whether to post a blog or here, i'm posting here:
Have never been in a relationship, been in love once maybe, but i got officially rejected from my love a few months ago.
Two months ago - I hear from a friend that a girl(which is my best friend's cousin) has said that I'm like the prettiest guy from our group of people. I couldn't really believe this to be true, but a few days later I saw her and a douchebag friend said something concerning me then she told me she could write a book 10 pages of all the reasons why I'm so beautiful.
I didn't really respond at all,I was speechless, this is probably the best compliment I will ever receive in my lifetime. ( I guess i'm above average looking, but not that much I guess ) I consider her to be a 10/10.
Whatever... soon after that she started writing to me on facebook chat. It's been like 45-50 days that we have spoken on facebook or by phone for EVERY single day. We also have gone out to drink beers / coffee / usual shit for maybe 10+ times (only the two of us)... Everyone of my friends is really wondering what the hell is going on and why we haven't kissed yet. (Yes I haven't gotten to first base yet) She's been in two 3+ year relationships and has sex a myriad of times, and I cant really say that about me. I consider her to be more "experienced", so it would be helpful if she helps around a bit or makes me feel in a good atmosphere to kiss her or somthing like that. The first few times we went out, I was kind of hesitant. Mostly because I was in love in a single girl for the past 8 years and just recently started getting over her a bit, but I soon realized that she is a dream girl and I should do anything I can do get her ( A true 10/10)...
So anyways, I have no idea what to do, I'm not man enough I guess. My friends tell me to watch out for the friendzone, I told them I don't have women friends(which is true) so they have nothing to worry about. However I'm starting to feel a little bit like that. Mostly because they scared the shit out of me with the friendzone.
I don't know I just wrote this because I have no idea what to do really ! I know I shouldn't really tell her that I love her , or ask her permission to kiss her, or start talking about what the hell we are doing together. But what should I really do
|
On April 24 2013 00:54 FreakOwnageHH wrote:
So I was wonder whether to post a blog or here, i'm posting here:
Have never been in a relationship, been in love once maybe, but i got officially rejected from my love a few months ago.
Two months ago - I hear from a friend that a girl(which is my best friend's cousin) has said that I'm like the prettiest guy from our group of people. I couldn't really believe this to be true, but a few days later I saw her and a douchebag friend said something concerning me then she told me she could write a book 10 pages of all the reasons why I'm so beautiful.
I didn't really respond at all,I was speechless, this is probably the best compliment I will ever receive in my lifetime. ( I guess i'm above average looking, but not that much I guess ) I consider her to be a 10/10.
Whatever... soon after that she started writing to me on facebook chat. It's been like 45-50 days that we have spoken on facebook or by phone for EVERY single day. We also have gone out to drink beers / coffee / usual shit for maybe 10+ times (only the two of us)... Everyone of my friends is really wondering what the hell is going on and why we haven't kissed yet. (Yes I haven't gotten to first base yet) She's been in two 3+ year relationships and has sex a myriad of times, and I cant really say that about me. I consider her to be more "experienced", so it would be helpful if she helps around a bit or makes me feel in a good atmosphere to kiss her or somthing like that. The first few times we went out, I was kind of hesitant. Mostly because I was in love in a single girl for the past 8 years and just recently started getting over her a bit, but I soon realized that she is a dream girl and I should do anything I can do get her ( A true 10/10)...
So anyways, I have no idea what to do, I'm not man enough I guess. My friends tell me to watch out for the friendzone, I told them I don't have women friends(which is true) so they have nothing to worry about. However I'm starting to feel a little bit like that. Mostly because they scared the shit out of me with the friendzone.
I don't know I just wrote this because I have no idea what to do really ! I know I shouldn't really tell her that I love her , or ask her permission to kiss her, or start talking about what the hell we are doing together. But what should I really do
You should let her know your intentions bro before you'll lose her
|
The only possible as-quick-as-possible-fix advice I can give you is: Be honest. With yourself and with her.
Being honest with yourself means understanding that there are no dream girls. This one isn't perfect. She farts and she smells when she takes a dump. She's no godlike being, she's not a more special human than your mom or your best buddy.
Being honest with her means to tell her that you're afraid and that you like her. A bit. Besides the point that a man able to admit his fears is incredibly sexy it also takes a bit of pressure of you. It also means understanding that you don't love her - you're incredibly infatuated with her, yes, but I highly doubt there is that warm fuzzy feeling of knowing she'll take care of you if you had a shitty day or the anticipation of great sex for the night.
Try and understand what is true about you, her and your feelings and what is a construct of your mind with no real evidence in the real world to back it up. And then be honest without being a pussy about it.
The difference? "Can I get the permission to kiss you?" tries to shift responsibility for what happens onto her. That's not what her white knight in armor would do. That guy would probably take her and make out while she slowly loses her mind. But maybe, if her white knight is a bit more real he might say "Fuck, I'd love to kiss you" after she and him stared into each others eyes for a while. Understanding that he doesn't have the biggest balls in the world, but enough balls to be honest and truthful she might just do the worst thing possible and answer: "Then why don't you do it?"
gl
|
Yep, the only way is to tell her your intent.
Say that you don't want to be her friend anymore because you want more. You want a real date.
Also I don't believe you are "In love" with her. You just have a crush, because girls apparently don't treat you the way she does. Additionally, it seems that you care way too much of what people think of you. Stop that. Be yourself and don't give a shit what she or other people think of you. If you want to crack a stupid joke because you think it's funny, do it.
Most importantly though, make your intent clear, do it in person, !don't wait to long! (I've been in the same situation as you last year, waited too long to say what I want. In the end though, it was for the better) If she says no, fuck her, you wouldn't have married her anyway. Spend a week listening to sad music and then go and fuck 10 other girls.
|
Haha, it's getting progressively more ridiculous for me.
Since starting uni a couple of weeks ago, I'm constantly surrounded by young, smart and attractive women.
So I guess my love-life comes very close to that old mariner's poem from the late 18th century, something along the lines of
"Water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink."
|
On topic: Go for it and tell her what you fell or kiss her! I know thants easier said than done. But thats the only two way that get you anywere in this case.
Also:
On April 24 2013 00:54 FreakOwnageHH wrote:
ostly because I was in love in a single girl for the past 8 years
That is NOT love. Thats obsession. Especially if you have never been in a relationship. You may think its was. But really it wasnt.
Just go for the new girl and be happy :D
|
On April 23 2013 15:19 dispain wrote:Show nested quote +On April 22 2013 23:09 amaDeus wrote:On April 22 2013 19:16 dispain wrote:Hiho.. [...] Yeah.. that’s my fucking story, if you are here: thanks for reading!  It is good just to speak, or write, down all this shit. Normally I just accept all the shit and never talking about it. Please Teamliquid, help me! :/ what i'd do: tell her. the story out of your perspective, your bad conscience cause of your friend, your feelings towards her. tell her personally. what you should not do: pressuring her. even if she reacts positive, dont expect her to be with you (or sth like that) together in an instant. tell her it's ok if she doesnt feel the same way and that you don't want the relationship, even if its "only" friendship, to end. with pressuring i also mean you shouldnt say "i still have strong feelings and my hearts gonna be broken if you decline anything"...well i guess you know what i mean. you know her. you should know best how to talk with her. u dont have much to lose in this situation. if you continue like that the chances are you're going to talk rarely to her or not at all in the future. but thats only what i would do. good luck okay fine thanks.. i dont think its going well, neither friendship or relationship.. but okay.. so and how i should get her to talk with me? should i write her a sms or just wait that i see her the next time.. i really dont know.. im pretty noobish :/
take my ideas with care, it's just my opinion.
if you wanna talk to her, call her. tell her you want to talk and meet her somewhere (café, going for a walk, whatever you think fits best).
worst thing that can happen that she either rejects you at the telephone (which she basically shouldnt..i mean there werent any big problems between you two) or she rejects you when you talk/talked to her.
getting rejected hurts. but it's not as bad as it sounds. if she rejects you, you know for sure that shes not the one and you can move on, no need to worry about it anymore.
if she gives it a chance - also good.
think beforehand what you wanna tell her and how you're gonna tell her. dont expect the conversation to go the way you wanted it to go. and just be chill (:
i would not want to "chase" one person a long time just to find out that she wasnt interested in the first place at the end. it's kind of a waste of time.
gl :3
if you do it, would you mind posting the result? im interested
|
United States44033 Posts
On April 23 2013 16:17 sunprince wrote:Show nested quote +On April 23 2013 13:24 babylon wrote:On April 23 2013 12:12 sunprince wrote:On April 23 2013 10:39 babylon wrote:On April 23 2013 10:21 Wombat_NI wrote:On April 23 2013 08:56 sunprince wrote:On April 23 2013 05:57 Grumbels wrote:On April 23 2013 05:24 McBengt wrote:
Then kindly inform her that I will win her heart as surely as I have won yours. I have a way with women you see, my rugged good looks and dark charms never fail to impress.
Indeed, I am, to my knowledge, the only person to have ever managed to get a woman to headbutt him in the nose, fracturing the nosebone as it were, within five minutes of making her acquaintance. Was it because you told her you wanted to eat her child? He's a man, so of course he must have done something to provoke her, right? Women don't do bad things on their own since they have no agency, amirite? /sarcasm Would you be trying to blame the victim if it was a girl who was assaulted instead of the other way around? "Did he headbutt you because you insulted him?" For someone who supposedly has a "mature perspective on gender issues", you've got some terribly sexist double standards. Em, you are responding to a private joke that I believe Grumbels was privvy to, regarding me and McBengt joking about him devouring my newborn son and my gf's rather less amused reaction I think How embarrassing. Such an over-eager hate crusade on Grumbels just because Grumbels insists on treating women like human beings, lol. Putting women on a pedestal is the opposite of treating women like human beings. How does treating people respectfully equate to putting them on a pedestal? There is no reason why women should be treated particularly respectfully, when compared to any sort of person. And yet, plenty of people (including, ironically, feminists and social justice warriors) specifically demand respect for women, insist that you should never hit a woman, excuse any bad female behavior, etc. Simply put, if it's a double standard meant to "protect" women, it's putting them on a pedestal.
I'll agree with this. I find violence against men by women and the social obligation of a man to accept violence from another man on behalf of (or due to the instigation of) a woman to be just as vile.
|
On April 23 2013 16:17 sunprince wrote:Show nested quote +On April 23 2013 13:24 babylon wrote:On April 23 2013 12:12 sunprince wrote:On April 23 2013 10:39 babylon wrote:On April 23 2013 10:21 Wombat_NI wrote:On April 23 2013 08:56 sunprince wrote:On April 23 2013 05:57 Grumbels wrote:On April 23 2013 05:24 McBengt wrote:
Then kindly inform her that I will win her heart as surely as I have won yours. I have a way with women you see, my rugged good looks and dark charms never fail to impress.
Indeed, I am, to my knowledge, the only person to have ever managed to get a woman to headbutt him in the nose, fracturing the nosebone as it were, within five minutes of making her acquaintance. Was it because you told her you wanted to eat her child? He's a man, so of course he must have done something to provoke her, right? Women don't do bad things on their own since they have no agency, amirite? /sarcasm Would you be trying to blame the victim if it was a girl who was assaulted instead of the other way around? "Did he headbutt you because you insulted him?" For someone who supposedly has a "mature perspective on gender issues", you've got some terribly sexist double standards. Em, you are responding to a private joke that I believe Grumbels was privvy to, regarding me and McBengt joking about him devouring my newborn son and my gf's rather less amused reaction I think How embarrassing. Such an over-eager hate crusade on Grumbels just because Grumbels insists on treating women like human beings, lol. Putting women on a pedestal is the opposite of treating women like human beings. How does treating people respectfully equate to putting them on a pedestal? There is no reason why women should be treated particularly respectfully, when compared to any sort of person. And yet, plenty of people (including, ironically, feminists and social justice warriors) specifically demand respect for women, insist that you should never hit a woman, excuse any bad female behavior, etc. Simply put, if it's a double standard meant to "protect" women, it's putting them on a pedestal.
How about being a decent human being and treating everyone with respect equally regardless of gender? No you shouldn't hit a woman, and you also shouldn't hit another man with the exception for self defense in both cases. You're the only one talking about putting women on pedestals.
|
She's not stupid, she know my intentions. I've told her many times that I don't have women friends because it is inevitable that one of the people will be somehow hurt. It's also not the first woman that gives attention to me. It may sound that I am bragging but the truth is I've rejected hundreds of women, I've told women I'm gay, I have a girl friend and all kinds of stupid excuses. I'm a little bit insane and weird because I always give a great first impression ( I guess because I'm tall and fairly athletic and dress nice), but when women get to know me i'm garbage. I know that I will probably cry for another 8 years over her, but I'm not so young and stupid anymore, so I guess I'll try to make some sort of big move the next time I see her (if it's an appropriate timing), and she lives with her parents, but they're leaving tomorrow for a week or so, so maybe she can invite me somehow haha.
Most of the normal people give me the same advice as you guys, but I feel i'm unique in the sort of way that if I want to be with a girl, I want her to be 10/10 in all aspects (Or not really that she is, but that I THINK she is, which is good enough) I also would probably never do a one night stand sort of shit, i want to fuck someone I'm emotionally involved with. I really don't know what to say, I tried sort of kissing her once but she turned a bit and kissed her on her cheek. But it was a bit awkward, i dont know... Whatever, I'll probably never change... in conclusion, I gotta go for a big move if she rejects me somewhat, then I'll tell her absolutely everything... that I knew all along she's insane to like someone like me and I can't just get a dream girl like her without achieving that much in life yet, it should'nt be so easy.
|
On April 24 2013 00:54 FreakOwnageHH wrote:
So I was wonder whether to post a blog or here, i'm posting here:
Have never been in a relationship, been in love once maybe, but i got officially rejected from my love a few months ago.
Two months ago - I hear from a friend that a girl(which is my best friend's cousin) has said that I'm like the prettiest guy from our group of people. I couldn't really believe this to be true, but a few days later I saw her and a douchebag friend said something concerning me then she told me she could write a book 10 pages of all the reasons why I'm so beautiful.
I didn't really respond at all,I was speechless, this is probably the best compliment I will ever receive in my lifetime. ( I guess i'm above average looking, but not that much I guess ) I consider her to be a 10/10.
Whatever... soon after that she started writing to me on facebook chat. It's been like 45-50 days that we have spoken on facebook or by phone for EVERY single day. We also have gone out to drink beers / coffee / usual shit for maybe 10+ times (only the two of us)... Everyone of my friends is really wondering what the hell is going on and why we haven't kissed yet. (Yes I haven't gotten to first base yet) She's been in two 3+ year relationships and has sex a myriad of times, and I cant really say that about me. I consider her to be more "experienced", so it would be helpful if she helps around a bit or makes me feel in a good atmosphere to kiss her or somthing like that. The first few times we went out, I was kind of hesitant. Mostly because I was in love in a single girl for the past 8 years and just recently started getting over her a bit, but I soon realized that she is a dream girl and I should do anything I can do get her ( A true 10/10)...
So anyways, I have no idea what to do, I'm not man enough I guess. My friends tell me to watch out for the friendzone, I told them I don't have women friends(which is true) so they have nothing to worry about. However I'm starting to feel a little bit like that. Mostly because they scared the shit out of me with the friendzone.
I don't know I just wrote this because I have no idea what to do really ! I know I shouldn't really tell her that I love her , or ask her permission to kiss her, or start talking about what the hell we are doing together. But what should I really do
Man the fuck up and turn on the care free mode NOW
I am about to write some lines here that will totally make you do it and here they are:
I lost a girl for the same reason,i was hesitant,unsure of my actions and it seemed just off.We kissed but it was,oh well,from time to time,not like in the good relationships.
MAN the fuck up and go with it,if she gives u that much attention she either wants you,or she wants you EVEN MORE(yes its a double positive)
If it doesn't happen oh well,there are more women on this planet so don't get obsessed or insulted about being rejected,just go with it.
|
On April 24 2013 00:54 FreakOwnageHH wrote:
So I was wonder whether to post a blog or here, i'm posting here:
Have never been in a relationship, been in love once maybe, but i got officially rejected from my love a few months ago.
Two months ago - I hear from a friend that a girl(which is my best friend's cousin) has said that I'm like the prettiest guy from our group of people. I couldn't really believe this to be true, but a few days later I saw her and a douchebag friend said something concerning me then she told me she could write a book 10 pages of all the reasons why I'm so beautiful.
I didn't really respond at all,I was speechless, this is probably the best compliment I will ever receive in my lifetime. ( I guess i'm above average looking, but not that much I guess ) I consider her to be a 10/10.
Whatever... soon after that she started writing to me on facebook chat. It's been like 45-50 days that we have spoken on facebook or by phone for EVERY single day. We also have gone out to drink beers / coffee / usual shit for maybe 10+ times (only the two of us)... Everyone of my friends is really wondering what the hell is going on and why we haven't kissed yet. (Yes I haven't gotten to first base yet) She's been in two 3+ year relationships and has sex a myriad of times, and I cant really say that about me. I consider her to be more "experienced", so it would be helpful if she helps around a bit or makes me feel in a good atmosphere to kiss her or somthing like that. The first few times we went out, I was kind of hesitant. Mostly because I was in love in a single girl for the past 8 years and just recently started getting over her a bit, but I soon realized that she is a dream girl and I should do anything I can do get her ( A true 10/10)...
So anyways, I have no idea what to do, I'm not man enough I guess. My friends tell me to watch out for the friendzone, I told them I don't have women friends(which is true) so they have nothing to worry about. However I'm starting to feel a little bit like that. Mostly because they scared the shit out of me with the friendzone.
I don't know I just wrote this because I have no idea what to do really ! I know I shouldn't really tell her that I love her , or ask her permission to kiss her, or start talking about what the hell we are doing together. But what should I really do
Hello friend. All signs point to kiss. Next time you hang out, wait until you have a "connect moment" and go in for the kiss. Now you will tell me, hold up there, what is this "connect moment". It'll be a moment where you both seem to lose yourselves in enjoyment and a small silent and awkward gap follows because you both were taken out of your shelled zone and just had a great moment together, both enjoying it so much as to not remember or think of a way to continue the conversation.
From the sound of things. You have nothing to lose. She did most of the leg work. She put herself out there and even incurred the jealous wrath of her/your social group ("Why does she like that guy", etc). She deserves some type of response from you because you are actually doing what a lot of girls do to guys - stringing them along (Although not intentionally).
Here is the best part if the above didn't work already. If she doesn't accept the kiss, you can always tell her you were just picking up on her signals.
Feel your sweaty palms as you consider this. Your' heightended heartbeat. Your' self-doubts. These are all natural and you will (ironically) miss them once you settle with someone. It is the hunt. Embrace it. Once you do, you will realize acting instead of not acting was the only important decision you made. Be bold and be brave my friend. I always make fun of people that don't try but never the ones that do and fail.
One last quote for inspiration: "Hard as fuck" -Ricky from Trailer Park Boys.
|
thanks for the advice, especially for the specific hints on the "connect moment" 
|
I have a date tonight with a new girl from work. She moved to this city like 2 weeks ago. Very excited.
|
On April 23 2013 23:38 iAmWaKai wrote:Show nested quote +Depends what "being yourself" means. If "yourself" is attractive, then sure, that'll work, but that's not the case for most people. Depends, being yourself also attracts the people that you'd like to be with. Of course it depends on your goals. If you just want to get laid, do what will increase your chances. But if you're looking for a relationship, you'll attract the wrong people, creating shitty relationships.
That's not necessarily the case. Most men would like to be with an attractive girl, but "being themselves" won't get attract such a girl.
Do you think that cool gamer girl you like would be more attracted to your fat, unemployed, socially awkward gamer self or a successful, fit, and cool gamer self that you could become? Do you seriously think that becoming a cooler person attracts worse people?
On April 24 2013 00:19 Steel wrote:
Yeah my point exactly. I guess for sunprince over here being laid is the only thing that matters, and that's cool, but I don't think it's automatically the case for everyone.
You're missing the possibility that becoming a more attractive person (which entails changing yourself and your preferences) might make you happier. For example, let's say you are an unemployed, fat, socially awkward forever-alone. You could "be yourself", and only attract similarly low sexual marketplace value girls (if that), or you could get a job, get in shape, develop social skills, and be happier for it.
Getting laid is not the goal, but it's a symptom of successfully becoming a better, more attractive person.
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
