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On December 10 2015 21:22 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On December 10 2015 17:27 xM(Z wrote:i don't need to be more specific, look at this from DarkPlasmaBall: As far as sexual vs. emotional cheating is concerned, I'd personally have a harder time dealing with sexual cheating instead of emotional cheating, but it's different for everyone (and for some people, they don't even consider such a thing as emotional cheating). that's an actual answer; you're just deflecting. @DarkPlasmaBall - well since you were the only one giving an answer i'll just tell you that from what i read, those fearing sexual cheating will tend to cheat emotionally and vice-versa(given the chance+reason); also, introverts are more likely to be poached from their partners which kinda makes sense in a way). kudos. Out of curiosity, why do you think that is? Why is a person more likely to cheat emotionally when fearing physical cheating, and vice-versa? Is it a sort of attempt at balancing out the cheating? Because I would think that a person would be more likely to reciprocate with the same kind of cheating (e.g., "I think she's fooling around physically with a guy behind my back, so I'm going to do the same.). you're talking from a different perspective. in your case, one has already cheated and the other gets his revenge. in my case/pov, there was no cheating ... yet. more like inclinations towards it, based on past experiences(maybe), personality, upbringing, culture and so on. the idea was close to yours but applied preemptively - you know you might get caught so you cheat using the method that affects you the least(thinking of a future payback/revenge). it's a lesser evil kind of thing. + Show Spoiler +ps: the majority of emotional affairs end up sexual so there's that too.
the main reason for divorce is money not affairs, so people accept some kind of cheating. i was wondering if there's a pattern somewhere, if some statistics could be calculated, based on what and so on.
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On December 10 2015 20:11 xM(Z wrote:- i wasn't giving a (for those thinking emo-cheating is not even a thing, add a pseudo-)-scientific definition of it but merely trying to summarize some of the main points from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_affair + Show Spoiler + This type of affair is often characterized by:
Inappropriate emotional intimacy. The partner being unfaithful may spend inappropriate or excessive time with someone of the opposite or same gender (time not shared with the other partner). He or she may confide more in their new “friend” than in their partner and may share more intimate emotional feelings and secrets with their new partner than with their existing spouse. Any time that an individual invests more emotionally into a relationship with someone besides their partner the existing partnership may suffer. Deception and secrecy. Those involved may not tell their partners about the amount of time they spend with each other. An individual involved in this type of affair may, for example, tell his or her spouse that they are doing other activities when they are really meeting with someone else. Or the unfaithful spouse may exclude any mention of the other person while discussing the day’s activities to conceal the rendezvous. Even if no physical intimacy occurs, the deception shows that those involved believe they are doing something wrong that undermines the existing relationship. In other words, if there was really no harm in meeting with a friend, both parties would feel comfortable telling their partners the truth about where they are meeting and what they are discussing. Increased fighting. When a person becomes emotionally involved with a third party, they will almost without fail begin to discount their primary partner, if not view the new person as all good and their committed partner as all bad.[citation needed] This person may blame their interest in the third party on their committed partner, which will lead to increased fighting and strain on the relationship. Sexual and emotional chemistry. Sexual and emotional chemistry can present itself based on a physical attraction one might feel for another person. In addition, it can also be related to an increase in dopamine, a hormone that produces feelings of pleasure, and norepinephrine, which is similar to adrenaline and causes an increase in excitement. This may or may not lead to physical intimacy, however, if nurtured it may present itself. The time between the first meeting and a first kiss can often be very lengthy, but the time between the first kiss and sexual intercourse may be very short. In most of these affairs, however, an unspoken attraction exists. A partner may spend extra time getting ready before seeing this "friend" or may buy new clothing or change their appearance to seem attractive to them. They may obssess anticipating phone calls, emails or text messages and there may be a decrease or stop in sexual activity with their spouse. Denial. Denial of the attraction and limerance felt may be exhibited by the cheating partner, but a similar denial and minimisation may also be defensively deployed by the excluded partner as well, to avoid confrontation.
, plus i was expecting (from the people that bothered to reply), some kind of (at least)informal knowledge about the concept
Going back to the cultural aspect, I find it interesting that I could not find the wiki page translated on the French or Dutch wikis.
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On December 10 2015 21:44 AbouSV wrote: If you really share what is important to you with your other half, the you should know what (s)he thinks about it, and find a way to deal with it. That's how we sorted it out. The idea is just to share anything, no matter what, and if we feel some situation could be 'strange'/ 'interpreted as cheating-like'/ hurting /..., we go and share before hand, just in case.
In this regard, we treat what you described as emotional cheating and physical/sexual cheating the exact same way, as we kinda agree that both can be source of a break-up because it could either mean that one is not providing what the other needs (which mainly defines a couple for us), and/or that the latter is not willing to share and be open enough.
Anyway, 'Cheating' in a relationship, as everywhere else, just means 'secretly not following the rules'. So you just have to define the said rules as explicitly as possible so you can easily say 'this is cheating, this is not'. So I guess the question you ask is 'how you, personally, put the limits of what is acceptable in a couple in regard of your attitude with a third party, especially physically versus emotionally?', isn't it? put monogamy somewhere in there and you have yourself a question. by excluding it, you're opening yourself to to many variables.
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On December 10 2015 22:02 xM(Z wrote:Show nested quote +On December 10 2015 21:22 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On December 10 2015 17:27 xM(Z wrote:i don't need to be more specific, look at this from DarkPlasmaBall: As far as sexual vs. emotional cheating is concerned, I'd personally have a harder time dealing with sexual cheating instead of emotional cheating, but it's different for everyone (and for some people, they don't even consider such a thing as emotional cheating). that's an actual answer; you're just deflecting. @DarkPlasmaBall - well since you were the only one giving an answer i'll just tell you that from what i read, those fearing sexual cheating will tend to cheat emotionally and vice-versa(given the chance+reason); also, introverts are more likely to be poached from their partners which kinda makes sense in a way). kudos. Out of curiosity, why do you think that is? Why is a person more likely to cheat emotionally when fearing physical cheating, and vice-versa? Is it a sort of attempt at balancing out the cheating? Because I would think that a person would be more likely to reciprocate with the same kind of cheating (e.g., "I think she's fooling around physically with a guy behind my back, so I'm going to do the same.). you're talking from a different perspective. in your case, one has already cheated and the other gets his revenge. in my case/pov, there was no cheating ... yet. more like inclinations towards it, based on past experiences(maybe), personality, upbringing, culture and so on. the idea was close to yours but applied preemptively - you know you might get caught so you cheat using the method that affects you the least(thinking of a future payback/revenge). it's a lesser evil kind of thing. + Show Spoiler +ps: the majority of emotional affairs end up sexual so there's that too. the main reason for divorce is money not affairs, so people accept some kind of cheating. i was wondering if there's a pattern somewhere, if some statistics could be calculated, based on what and so on.
I wasn't talking about cheating actually happening and you getting revenge... I was using the same wording you were- that there is a fear of cheating and that due to that fear, the worried partner is likely to cheat in the other direction. I guess maybe the lesser evil idea can be justified, although you'd have to actually think that the *other* kind of cheating is indeed less evil.
I also think that your statement "the main reason for divorce is money not affairs, so people accept some kind of cheating" is a non sequitur. It may be the case that some people accept some kind of cheating, or it may not... but just because more people divorce over money than affairs doesn't mean that cheating on some level is considered acceptable. Money issues just might be more common, people might not be aware of the cheating, etc.
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On December 10 2015 22:02 xM(Z wrote:Show nested quote +On December 10 2015 21:22 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On December 10 2015 17:27 xM(Z wrote:i don't need to be more specific, look at this from DarkPlasmaBall: As far as sexual vs. emotional cheating is concerned, I'd personally have a harder time dealing with sexual cheating instead of emotional cheating, but it's different for everyone (and for some people, they don't even consider such a thing as emotional cheating). that's an actual answer; you're just deflecting. @DarkPlasmaBall - well since you were the only one giving an answer i'll just tell you that from what i read, those fearing sexual cheating will tend to cheat emotionally and vice-versa(given the chance+reason); also, introverts are more likely to be poached from their partners which kinda makes sense in a way). kudos. Out of curiosity, why do you think that is? Why is a person more likely to cheat emotionally when fearing physical cheating, and vice-versa? Is it a sort of attempt at balancing out the cheating? Because I would think that a person would be more likely to reciprocate with the same kind of cheating (e.g., "I think she's fooling around physically with a guy behind my back, so I'm going to do the same.). you're talking from a different perspective. in your case, one has already cheated and the other gets his revenge. in my case/pov, there was no cheating ... yet. more like inclinations towards it, based on past experiences(maybe), personality, upbringing, culture and so on. the idea was close to yours but applied preemptively - you know you might get caught so you cheat using the method that affects you the least(thinking of a future payback/revenge). it's a lesser evil kind of thing. + Show Spoiler +ps: the majority of emotional affairs end up sexual so there's that too. the main reason for divorce is money not affairs, so people accept some kind of cheating. i was wondering if there's a pattern somewhere, if some statistics could be calculated, based on what and so on. Do you got a source for the money statement? I'm curious.
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On December 10 2015 22:05 xM(Z wrote:Show nested quote +On December 10 2015 21:44 AbouSV wrote: If you really share what is important to you with your other half, the you should know what (s)he thinks about it, and find a way to deal with it. That's how we sorted it out. The idea is just to share anything, no matter what, and if we feel some situation could be 'strange'/ 'interpreted as cheating-like'/ hurting /..., we go and share before hand, just in case.
In this regard, we treat what you described as emotional cheating and physical/sexual cheating the exact same way, as we kinda agree that both can be source of a break-up because it could either mean that one is not providing what the other needs (which mainly defines a couple for us), and/or that the latter is not willing to share and be open enough.
Anyway, 'Cheating' in a relationship, as everywhere else, just means 'secretly not following the rules'. So you just have to define the said rules as explicitly as possible so you can easily say 'this is cheating, this is not'. So I guess the question you ask is 'how you, personally, put the limits of what is acceptable in a couple in regard of your attitude with a third party, especially physically versus emotionally?', isn't it? put monogamy somewhere in there and you have yourself a question. by excluding it, you're opening yourself to to many variables. Oh, yes this is much needed too. I forgot to put it explicitly.
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On December 10 2015 22:29 Cascade wrote:Show nested quote +On December 10 2015 22:02 xM(Z wrote:On December 10 2015 21:22 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On December 10 2015 17:27 xM(Z wrote:i don't need to be more specific, look at this from DarkPlasmaBall: As far as sexual vs. emotional cheating is concerned, I'd personally have a harder time dealing with sexual cheating instead of emotional cheating, but it's different for everyone (and for some people, they don't even consider such a thing as emotional cheating). that's an actual answer; you're just deflecting. @DarkPlasmaBall - well since you were the only one giving an answer i'll just tell you that from what i read, those fearing sexual cheating will tend to cheat emotionally and vice-versa(given the chance+reason); also, introverts are more likely to be poached from their partners which kinda makes sense in a way). kudos. Out of curiosity, why do you think that is? Why is a person more likely to cheat emotionally when fearing physical cheating, and vice-versa? Is it a sort of attempt at balancing out the cheating? Because I would think that a person would be more likely to reciprocate with the same kind of cheating (e.g., "I think she's fooling around physically with a guy behind my back, so I'm going to do the same.). you're talking from a different perspective. in your case, one has already cheated and the other gets his revenge. in my case/pov, there was no cheating ... yet. more like inclinations towards it, based on past experiences(maybe), personality, upbringing, culture and so on. the idea was close to yours but applied preemptively - you know you might get caught so you cheat using the method that affects you the least(thinking of a future payback/revenge). it's a lesser evil kind of thing. + Show Spoiler +ps: the majority of emotional affairs end up sexual so there's that too. the main reason for divorce is money not affairs, so people accept some kind of cheating. i was wondering if there's a pattern somewhere, if some statistics could be calculated, based on what and so on. Do you got a source for the money statement? I'm curious. random, from here http://facts.randomhistory.com/affairs-facts.htmlInfidelity is not the leading cause of divorce. While an affair can destroy a marriage, the main reason for divorce is money. it includes jobless partners and the likes.
@DarkPlasmaBall - you're at 50/50 with your non sequitur call. from the same link,Infidelity does not mean the marriage is over. Over 50% of marriages survive infidelity, although they may still break down from other underlying problems in the future. so more than half of them know they've been cheated on.
the more interesting one is here http://www.livescience.com/47404-why-women-cheat.html it's based on info from AshleyMadison, the famous cheating site. SAN FRANCISCO — Middle-age women who cheat on their husbands are looking for passion and sex, but don't want to divorce their husbands over it, new research suggests.
The new data comes from a sample of married women who used AshleyMadison.com, a dating website aimed at people seeking to cheat on their partners.
The new conclusions challenge the popular conception that women cheat because they are generally unhappy with their relationships, said study lead author Eric Anderson, a professor of sport, masculinity and sexuality at the University of Winchester in England. ... Anderson and his colleagues gained access to the profiles and messages sent by 100 married, heterosexual women, who listed their age as between 35 and 45. All told, that included about 42,000 lines of text, Anderson said. Most of the women exchanged a few messages with potential partners before taking their interaction offline or ending conversation altogether, he said.
"They didn't know I was reading their conversations," which enabled Anderson to study their self-professed motivations, without them worrying about being judged, Anderson said. (When they sign up for AshleyMadison, users agree to terms of service that include the possibility that their profile information and usage of the site may be studied for research purposes, Anderson said.)
About two-thirds of the women said they were seeking more romantic passion, which always involved sex. And none of the women wanted to leave their spouses, with many even talking up their husbands, the researchers found.
Though the findings are limited to just one dating website — and one catering to people seeking to cheat — they suggest that many women who are unfaithful are not dissatisfied overall with their partners, Anderson said.
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For those people who don't believe in emotional cheating:
Relationships are more than just kissing, dicks, and pussies. Just because you fall short of those three physical interactions does not mean you did not cheat on your partner. If you have emotionally connected with someone, and the two of you are essentially treating each other like partners behind your current partners back--telling yourself "but we haven't even kissed yet" does not excuse it from being infidelity.
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On December 11 2015 00:22 Thieving Magpie wrote: For those people who don't believe in emotional cheating:
Relationships are more than just kissing, dicks, and pussies. Just because you fall short of those three physical interactions does not mean you did not cheat on your partner. If you have emotionally connected with someone, and the two of you are essentially treating each other like partners behind your current partners back--telling yourself "but we haven't even kissed yet" does not excuse it from being infidelity.
I think there are some good arguments for the existence of emotional cheating, but I'm a little confused as to where a line can be drawn.
For example, with physical cheating, someone could choose to draw a line at a specific action. As in, they could say "kissing or more is cheating to me", or "sex only is cheating to me", and there are very clear distinctions on what an individual believes is cheating and what he thinks is not (regardless of whether or not you agree).
I'm not sure if the same black and white line is as easily drawn for emotional cheating. Where does verbal flirting or showing vulnerability or emotionally connecting with another person (outside of an exclusive relationship) turn into emotional cheating?
Perhaps it's because I view this more as a continuous spectrum, whereas I view physical intimacy as discrete steps, that I'm having a hard time defining a specific position that would constitute as clear emotional cheating. I also worry that too much emphasis on emotional cheating- if this isn't defined well- can lead to a lot more guilt-tripping when the honest intention was to merely have a conversation with someone and empathize with them.
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On December 11 2015 01:20 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On December 11 2015 00:22 Thieving Magpie wrote: For those people who don't believe in emotional cheating:
Relationships are more than just kissing, dicks, and pussies. Just because you fall short of those three physical interactions does not mean you did not cheat on your partner. If you have emotionally connected with someone, and the two of you are essentially treating each other like partners behind your current partners back--telling yourself "but we haven't even kissed yet" does not excuse it from being infidelity. I think there are some good arguments for the existence of emotional cheating, but I'm a little confused as to where a line can be drawn. For example, with physical cheating, someone could choose to draw a line at a specific action. As in, they could say "kissing or more is cheating to me", or "sex only is cheating to me", and there are very clear distinctions on what an individual believes is cheating and what he thinks is not (regardless of whether or not you agree). I'm not sure if the same black and white line is as easily drawn for emotional cheating. Where does verbal flirting or showing vulnerability or emotionally connecting with another person (outside of an exclusive relationship) turn into emotional cheating? Perhaps it's because I view this more as a continuous spectrum, whereas I view physical intimacy as discrete steps, that I'm having a hard time defining a specific position that would constitute as clear emotional cheating. I also worry that too much emphasis on emotional cheating- if this isn't defined well- can lead to a lot more guilt-tripping when the honest intention was to merely have a conversation with someone and empathize with them.
I see both on a spectrum actually. For example--holding hands? How about proximity to each other when having dinner? How about how long they look at each other. Is 10 seconds too long? 5 seconds? Are handshakes okay? What about hugs? etc...
There's a HUGE spectrum for physical intimacy. Its only black and white when (culturally or personally) its already predefined.
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On December 11 2015 12:49 Thieving Magpie wrote:Show nested quote +On December 11 2015 01:20 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On December 11 2015 00:22 Thieving Magpie wrote: For those people who don't believe in emotional cheating:
Relationships are more than just kissing, dicks, and pussies. Just because you fall short of those three physical interactions does not mean you did not cheat on your partner. If you have emotionally connected with someone, and the two of you are essentially treating each other like partners behind your current partners back--telling yourself "but we haven't even kissed yet" does not excuse it from being infidelity. I think there are some good arguments for the existence of emotional cheating, but I'm a little confused as to where a line can be drawn. For example, with physical cheating, someone could choose to draw a line at a specific action. As in, they could say "kissing or more is cheating to me", or "sex only is cheating to me", and there are very clear distinctions on what an individual believes is cheating and what he thinks is not (regardless of whether or not you agree). I'm not sure if the same black and white line is as easily drawn for emotional cheating. Where does verbal flirting or showing vulnerability or emotionally connecting with another person (outside of an exclusive relationship) turn into emotional cheating? Perhaps it's because I view this more as a continuous spectrum, whereas I view physical intimacy as discrete steps, that I'm having a hard time defining a specific position that would constitute as clear emotional cheating. I also worry that too much emphasis on emotional cheating- if this isn't defined well- can lead to a lot more guilt-tripping when the honest intention was to merely have a conversation with someone and empathize with them. I see both on a spectrum actually. For example--holding hands? How about proximity to each other when having dinner? How about how long they look at each other. Is 10 seconds too long? 5 seconds? Are handshakes okay? What about hugs? etc... There's a HUGE spectrum for physical intimacy. Its only black and white when (culturally or personally) its already predefined.
Sure, I can see that. So to reiterate my question:
Where does verbal flirting or showing vulnerability or emotionally connecting with another person (outside of an exclusive relationship) turn into emotional cheating? I also worry that too much emphasis on emotional cheating- if this isn't defined well- can lead to a lot more guilt-tripping when the honest intention was to merely have a conversation with someone and empathize with them.
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On December 11 2015 13:04 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On December 11 2015 12:49 Thieving Magpie wrote:On December 11 2015 01:20 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On December 11 2015 00:22 Thieving Magpie wrote: For those people who don't believe in emotional cheating:
Relationships are more than just kissing, dicks, and pussies. Just because you fall short of those three physical interactions does not mean you did not cheat on your partner. If you have emotionally connected with someone, and the two of you are essentially treating each other like partners behind your current partners back--telling yourself "but we haven't even kissed yet" does not excuse it from being infidelity. I think there are some good arguments for the existence of emotional cheating, but I'm a little confused as to where a line can be drawn. For example, with physical cheating, someone could choose to draw a line at a specific action. As in, they could say "kissing or more is cheating to me", or "sex only is cheating to me", and there are very clear distinctions on what an individual believes is cheating and what he thinks is not (regardless of whether or not you agree). I'm not sure if the same black and white line is as easily drawn for emotional cheating. Where does verbal flirting or showing vulnerability or emotionally connecting with another person (outside of an exclusive relationship) turn into emotional cheating? Perhaps it's because I view this more as a continuous spectrum, whereas I view physical intimacy as discrete steps, that I'm having a hard time defining a specific position that would constitute as clear emotional cheating. I also worry that too much emphasis on emotional cheating- if this isn't defined well- can lead to a lot more guilt-tripping when the honest intention was to merely have a conversation with someone and empathize with them. I see both on a spectrum actually. For example--holding hands? How about proximity to each other when having dinner? How about how long they look at each other. Is 10 seconds too long? 5 seconds? Are handshakes okay? What about hugs? etc... There's a HUGE spectrum for physical intimacy. Its only black and white when (culturally or personally) its already predefined. Sure, I can see that. So to reiterate my question: Where does verbal flirting or showing vulnerability or emotionally connecting with another person (outside of an exclusive relationship) turn into emotional cheating? I also worry that too much emphasis on emotional cheating- if this isn't defined well- can lead to a lot more guilt-tripping when the honest intention was to merely have a conversation with someone and empathize with them.
That's different for every person. Much physical cheating is different for every person.
If its something you worry about, then you set guidelines between you and your partner. If its something that you're more fluid about, then let them have their thing.
For example: Say that you're okay with your wife making out with other guys--but you have a no penetration rule. The same can be said for emotional relationships. When its christmas and your wife would rather have it with her best friend's family instead of either yours or hers--is that crossing a line? What about if your wife would rather her guy friend comes over when she's sad and you should go do something else until she feels better? There are lots of lines that can be made should you be comfortable enough in your relationship with your partner to address them.
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Wanted to get my professor a gift since she taught me for 1 year and I probably wont see her again. I just want to show her my appreciation for how much I enjoyed her class.
I did some research and found that getting her a simple gift card with a written note is the norm. Is that fine? I think it fits the criteria well. I was thinking a starbucks giftcard and Id write something like "enjoyed 1 year of your teaching etc etc, ill miss it etc etc"
What do you guys think?
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I was slightly confused, then i noticed that you are in the US. Here in Germany a professor wouldn't be allowed to accept gifts from pretty much anyone, but especially (ex) students. A card would probably be fine, however anything worth money is problematic due to the spectre of corruption.
I would go with something that can not be misconstructed and isn't really worth money, so possibly some (neutral) flowers and a card.
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I see what Simberto means, but if you don't have the option to take a course with them again and it doesn't affect your current grade I don't see the issue.
I think a Starbucks GC and a card/note is fine. If your campus has a coffee shop and you can get GCs for that, it may even be better (unless your campus has a Starbucks on/near it as well). Otherwise I recommend lingerie.
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In the United States, many universities (and even elementary/ secondary schools) also send out e-mails to their faculty in regards to gifts, as they can be considered bribes. Especially around the holidays/ end of the semester, we receive notifications from the administration telling us that we need to donate/ give back large gifts. Basically, just make it something simple and not too expensive, and you're fine. $5-20 gift card to Starbucks is totally fine. The card is even more important to us
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On December 11 2015 13:10 Thieving Magpie wrote:Show nested quote +On December 11 2015 13:04 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On December 11 2015 12:49 Thieving Magpie wrote:On December 11 2015 01:20 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On December 11 2015 00:22 Thieving Magpie wrote: For those people who don't believe in emotional cheating:
Relationships are more than just kissing, dicks, and pussies. Just because you fall short of those three physical interactions does not mean you did not cheat on your partner. If you have emotionally connected with someone, and the two of you are essentially treating each other like partners behind your current partners back--telling yourself "but we haven't even kissed yet" does not excuse it from being infidelity. I think there are some good arguments for the existence of emotional cheating, but I'm a little confused as to where a line can be drawn. For example, with physical cheating, someone could choose to draw a line at a specific action. As in, they could say "kissing or more is cheating to me", or "sex only is cheating to me", and there are very clear distinctions on what an individual believes is cheating and what he thinks is not (regardless of whether or not you agree). I'm not sure if the same black and white line is as easily drawn for emotional cheating. Where does verbal flirting or showing vulnerability or emotionally connecting with another person (outside of an exclusive relationship) turn into emotional cheating? Perhaps it's because I view this more as a continuous spectrum, whereas I view physical intimacy as discrete steps, that I'm having a hard time defining a specific position that would constitute as clear emotional cheating. I also worry that too much emphasis on emotional cheating- if this isn't defined well- can lead to a lot more guilt-tripping when the honest intention was to merely have a conversation with someone and empathize with them. I see both on a spectrum actually. For example--holding hands? How about proximity to each other when having dinner? How about how long they look at each other. Is 10 seconds too long? 5 seconds? Are handshakes okay? What about hugs? etc... There's a HUGE spectrum for physical intimacy. Its only black and white when (culturally or personally) its already predefined. Sure, I can see that. So to reiterate my question: Where does verbal flirting or showing vulnerability or emotionally connecting with another person (outside of an exclusive relationship) turn into emotional cheating? I also worry that too much emphasis on emotional cheating- if this isn't defined well- can lead to a lot more guilt-tripping when the honest intention was to merely have a conversation with someone and empathize with them. That's different for every person. Much physical cheating is different for every person. If its something you worry about, then you set guidelines between you and your partner. If its something that you're more fluid about, then let them have their thing. For example: Say that you're okay with your wife making out with other guys--but you have a no penetration rule. The same can be said for emotional relationships. When its christmas and your wife would rather have it with her best friend's family instead of either yours or hers--is that crossing a line? What about if your wife would rather her guy friend comes over when she's sad and you should go do something else until she feels better? There are lots of lines that can be made should you be comfortable enough in your relationship with your partner to address them.
That makes sense, thanks
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On December 15 2015 17:57 Emnjay808 wrote: Wanted to get my professor a gift since she taught me for 1 year and I probably wont see her again. I just want to show her my appreciation for how much I enjoyed her class.
I did some research and found that getting her a simple gift card with a written note is the norm. Is that fine? I think it fits the criteria well. I was thinking a starbucks giftcard and Id write something like "enjoyed 1 year of your teaching etc etc, ill miss it etc etc"
What do you guys think? If it was just a "normal" professor you had in class (not someone you developed a personal "mentor" relationship with), yeah a Starbucks GC with a pleasant note saying thank you is likely the way to go.
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I have to start year 1 of a PhD with a professor and uni scholarship.
He told me that in year 2 he will probably move to another uni and that they already have a ready scholarship for me in case I follow him. No big across the world transfer - it would be like 400 km from the previous place (which is already across the world lol)
He is also collecting all the infos to see if the transition is possible (I have no idea about visas and scholarships - can you terminate early?if I move there will everything be delayed by one year or not, since it's the same professor?)
Would you do it?
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Are we talking a US PhD here?
If so you really really really need to check if your visa would allow for such a thing (I'm guessing you would need a J1? Which is tied to the institution employing you which could pose some trouble). Secondly, how well do you know the professor? Worked with him before? How much do you have in writing - as in an actual contract?
Moving 400 km at some point during a PhD is hardly an issue. The first year you'll be pretty swamped anyway so you won't really get too attached to the first place, but why not simply wait 1 year and then join him at the second place?
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