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Not sure how interesting people will find this, but there's a hilarious judgment from the Family Court in Canada. In short, the ex husband and wife invovled in this case are so unreasonable that the Judge resorts to ridiculing them in this judgment as a last ditch attempt to point out, essentially, just how retarded they are acting.
It's quite amusing, particularly from an Aussie lawyer's perpsective because our Courts wouldnt dare to be so direct and provocative in the use of their language.
Judgment is found here:
http://www.canlii.org/en/on/onsc/doc/2010/2010onsc6568/2010onsc6568.html
Can anyone from Canada shine some light on the reaction to this (if there was any) ? I'm quite sure it would have made the headlines over here if it was an Australian decision.
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Some kind of summary would be helpful. Tried reading to find out what was so stupid and I couldn't find anything. Maybe that was because I didn't understand 100% what was being said in a court document with all its titles, categories, sub-categories and etc. Anyway gave up trying to figure it out about 2-3pages down.
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our court system here is fucking stupid, thats about it
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I think the overall humorous nature of his prose is funny, rather than its actual bearing on the case.
After repeated threats by the wife's family to 'send the Hell's Angels after him', the judge noted 'as you can see, Catherine is a one-dimensional problem solver'.
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On January 19 2011 10:23 Zooper31 wrote: Some kind of summary would be helpful. Tried reading to find out what was so stupid and I couldn't find anything. Maybe that was because I didn't understand 100% what was being said in a court document with all its titles, categories, sub-categories and etc. Anyway gave up trying to figure it out about 2-3pages down. I did give you a summary...
There is nothing technical about two people acting like immature imbeciles following the breakdown of a relationship . You just have to read the crap that they did and the snide remarks of the Judge. If you don't find it amusing, then so be it!
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Osaka27139 Posts
We also recently had a judge declare someone innocent, but also added that he was still an "asshole". To add to the stereotype of Canada, he was a hockey player.
"If he was charged with being a colossal asshole, I would find him guilty," said Douglas, chief judge of the provincial court.
"Of assault causing bodily harm, I find him not guilty."
Story Here.
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My reaction?
LOL.
I want more judges to be like this. Obviously not for more serious cases, but for something as fucking dumb as this, they really do deserve to be ridiculed. I'm glad the judge had the balls to do it.
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Osaka27139 Posts
The judgement in the OP is pretty funny though. To start the introduction:
I INTRODUCTION
[1] Paging Dr. Freud. Paging Dr. Freud.
This is yet another case that reveals the ineffectiveness of Family Court in a bitter custody/access dispute, where the parties require therapeutic intervention rather than legal attention. Here, a husband and wife have been marinating in a mutual hatred so intense as to surely amount to a personality disorder requiring treatment.
Wow, the whole thing is really good haha. I wish all judgments read like this.
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On January 19 2011 10:40 Manifesto7 wrote:We also recently had a judge declare someone innocent, but also added that he was still an "asshole". To add to the stereotype of Canada, he was a hockey player. Show nested quote +"If he was charged with being a colossal asshole, I would find him guilty," said Douglas, chief judge of the provincial court.
"Of assault causing bodily harm, I find him not guilty." Story Here. Hahahahaha. Hilarious.
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The last part is what you want to read: + Show Spoiler + (q) final conclusion on spousal support
[210] While Larry’s access-conduct has largely reflected nothing more than inept parenting, Catherine’s parental-alienation behaviour has been evil. Is there a remedy?
[211] Dollars cannot replace the father-daughter relationship that Catherine has destroyed. However, in the circumstances of this case, justice has only a Hobson’s choice. Catherine’s alienation of Taylor and Larry must be condemned and, an effective method of expressing that condemnation, is by way of a reduction in spousal support.
[212] Accordingly, the spousal support to which Catherine would otherwise be entitled shall be reduced to one dollar monthly.
IV RESULT
[213] Despite the involvement of Niagara Family and Children’s Services, Ms. Katz, Mr. Leduc and the court, the parties repeatedly have shown that they are immune to reason. Consequently, in my decision, I have tried ridicule as a last resort.
[214] I point out for the benefit of the parties that, these proceedings being an effort to vary their separation agreement, those provisions that I have not changed remain binding upon them and any future breach may have legal consequences. In other words, my decision does not replace the entire separation agreement. The matrimonial responsibilities and obligations of the parties are now encompassed by the separation agreement and by the orders that I now make:
1. The Application by Larry is dismissed.
2. The Claim by Respondent of Catherine is allowed in part.
3. The separation agreement is varied as follows:
(a) The words “Notwithstanding the fact that the parties have joint custody,” in paragraph 7.2 of the separation agreement, shall be deleted.
(b) The contents of paragraph 8 of the separation agreement (access) shall be deleted. In their place, access by Larry to Brandon shall be as set out in paragraph [125] above. The separation agreement, therefore, shall be silent as to access to Taylor.
(c) The contents of paragraph 13.1 of the separation agreement (child support) shall be deleted and replaced with the following:
(i) Based on an income of $53,000 in 2008, Larry shall pay Guidelines table child support for 2008 in the sum of $798 monthly for the two children, payable on the first of each month commencing January 1, 2008;
(ii) Based on an income of $57,690 in 2009, Larry shall pay Guidelines table child support for 2009 in the sum of $866 monthly for the two children, payable on the first of each month commencing January 1, 2009;
(iii) Based on an income of $81,000 in 2010, Larry shall pay Guidelines table child support in the sum of $1,171 monthly for the two children, payable on the first of each month commencing January 1, 2010 until otherwise ordered.
(d) The contents of paragraph 6 (spousal support) are deleted and replaced by a provision by which Larry shall pay spousal support to Catherine in the sum of one dollar on the first of each month, commencing on January 1, 2010 and ending on June 1, 2012.
(4) Arrears of Guidelines table child support are fixed at $19,920 as of September of 2010.
(5) All other claims in the Claim by Respondent (but for costs) are dismissed.
[215] As for costs, I have not heard submissions on that issue. My strong preliminary view is that success in these proceedings has been mixed such that the parties should bear their own costs. However, not having heard argument on the matter, I do not feel that I am entitled to order no costs. If either party wishes to seek costs they should obtain a date from the trial co-ordinator for that purpose. If neither does so within 60 days of the date of these Reasons, the final order on costs shall be as I have indicated.
[216] A word must be said about the children’s lawyer, Mr. Leduc. I am indebted to him for his effective questioning of the witnesses and wise and helpful submissions. I expect that this was a trying experience for him. Throughout his year-long involvement in the case, he was contacted on numerous occasions by the parties and by the children. While generally siding with Larry’s position, Mr. Leduc, nonetheless, conducted himself in a fair-minded manner, impartial to the parties, always alert to the best interests of the children and in the highest traditions of the Office of the Children’s Lawyer.
Along with the notes: + Show Spoiler + Their mother, according to Sam, “is not in the picture” and has abandoned the children.
[2] At one point in the trial, I asked Catherine: “If you could push a button and make Larry disappear from the face of the earth, would you push it?” Her I-just-won-a-lottery smile implied the answer that I expected.
[3] I am prepared to certify a class action for the return of all wedding gifts.
[4] It is likely that, in the period 2004-2006, Larry was having one or more extramarital affairs. Interestingly, Larry’s father was married five times, in addition to going through several relationships. Perhaps there is an infidelity gene.
[5] The home in which Larry and Sandra live is jointly owned by the two of them. Larry did not reveal this fact in his financial statement filed in these proceedings.
[6] This is always a telltale sign that a husband and wife are drifting apart.
[7] The courtroom energy level in a custody/access dispute spikes quickly when there is evidence that one of the parents has a Hells Angels branch in her family tree. Certainly, my posture improved. Catherine’s niece is engaged to a member of the Hells Angels. I take judicial notice of the fact that the Hells Angels Motorcycle Club is a criminal organization (and of the fact that the niece has made a poor choice).
[8] When one considers that the parties then had been separated for a mere four months and that Larry was exercising access, this is a remarkable request. What does it tell us about Catherine?
[9] Donna is a devotee of the literary device known as, “repetition for emphasis.” I do not know whether Donna is the niece who is engaged to the Hells Angels member. If she is, they may be more compatible than I initially surmised.
[10] Pursuant to s. 35(2) of the Family Law Act, R.S.O. 1990, Chapter F.3, once a separation agreement is filed with the court, a provision for support may be enforced and varied as if it were an order of the court.
[11] It turned out to be lower by only a few hundred dollars.
[12] I accept the testimony of Catherine that this date is a typographical error. It should have read “June 1, 2007,” as this is the date that Larry commenced his child support payments.
[13] This also is an error. Larry was not unemployed. He was working for “a temp service” between his employment with two waste management companies.
[14] Assuming a sale for $199,000 and disposition costs at 6%, the net equity would be $24,000 of which Larry would have been entitled to $12,000. I accept the evidence of Catherine that it was in consideration of this fact that the separation agreement, although silent on the point, provided for spousal support of only one dollar for up to three years.
[15] On September 12, 2008, in the course of a case conference, a consent order was made by which Catherine was to have her employment pension valued.
[16] Although Larry was the applicant in the Application, he is shown in the title of proceedings as respondent because the first title used (being the one from Catherine’s change motion, where she is the applicant) is repeated ever-after.
[17] Again, because the title of proceedings is that of the change motion, Catherine is shown as the applicant but, in truth, she is the responding party in Larry’s Application.
[18] I am aware that, under the Family Law Rules, Application, Answer – Claim by Respondent and Reply do not begin with capital letters. However, I prefer otherwise.
[19] In fact, they were represented by lawyers through 12 court attendances over two years (according to the endorsement section of the continuing record), during the babysitting phase of the proceedings and before the heavy lifting began. This case should have been identified by the lawyers in the beginning as one that was impossible to settle and pushed quickly to trial, without the endless toing and froing present in typical cases. The legal fees for the 12 attendances would have been better spent on the trial.
[20] A further testament to the hopelessness of the custody/access situation is that the parties and their common-law spouses are unable to jointly attend Brandon’s ball-hockey games without erupting into mutual conflict. This is very stressful for Brandon.
[21] A finger is worth a thousand words and, therefore, is particularly useful should one have a vocabulary of less than a thousand words.
[22] When the operator of a motor vehicle yells “jackass” at a pedestrian, the jackassedness of the former has been proved, but, at that point, it is only an allegation as against the latter.
[23] In recent years, the evidence in family trials typically includes reams of text messages between the parties, helpfully laying bare their true characters. Assessing credibility is not nearly as difficult as it was before the use of e-mails and text messages became prolific. Parties are not shy about splattering their spleens throughout cyberspace.
[24] These do not strike me as the statements of someone who is concerned about precipitating a Hells Angels house call.
[25] I confess that I sometimes permit a lengthier hiatus than the schedule of the court might otherwise dictate, in order to afford the parties an opportunity to reflect on the trial experience, come to their senses and resolve their difficulties like mature adults. It is touching how a trial judge can retain his naivety even after 15 years on the bench.
[26] The New Shorter Oxford English Dictionary defines “dickhead” as “a stupid person.” That would not have been my first guess.
[27] And all of these prohibitions by Catherine are taking place with a trial date already inscribed on her kitchen calendar.
[28] I am uncertain whether this would be considered a hand-held communication device, now illegal while operating a motor vehicle, under recent amendments to the Highway Traffic Act.
[29] It takes a special level of audacity to utter threats under the roof of the Court House.
[30] I gather that this is Larry’s version of the Big Bang Theory.
[31] Section 51 of the Family Law Act defines “domestic contract” to include a separation agreement.
[32] The pension arises from Catherine’s seven years of employment as a health-care aid at a nursing home (1996-2003). The employment she commenced in 2003 with the District School Board of Niagara does not provide pension benefits.
[33] I do not know why courts find it necessary to alter the meaning of words. One would think that if the legislators had intended “shocking” they would have used “shocking.”
[34] And, despite this knowledge, Catherine has actively sought to create conflict between Taylor and Larry.
[35] On June 12, 2009, a temporary order was made requiring Larry to pay monthly child support of $563 based on his representation that he would earn $38,000 in 2009. He never explained why he was off by 34%.
[36] One might question the purpose of obligating warring spouses to discuss s. 7 expenses before they are incurred. The answer is that the separation agreement makes it a requirement to do so. I will not engage in the speculative exercise of determining what Larry’s response would have been, or reasonably should have been, had he been consulted in advance (under the separation agreement, to be an eligible special or extraordinary expense, it was unnecessary for Larry to agree with the expense – consultation, not consent, was required).
[37] “Should” has been interpreted to mean “must.”
[38] Although some authorities appear to distinguish need and self-sufficiency, I view them as synonymous. If one has need, one is not self-sufficient; if one is self-sufficient, one is not in need.
[39] Bracklow v. Bracklow 1999 CanLII 715 (S.C.C.), (1999), 44 R.F.L. (4th) 1 (S.C.C.) at 16.
[40] Bracklow, supra, at 21.
[41] Bracklow, supra, at 22.
[42] Why conservative? As I have already pointed out, Catherine quit full-time employment (with pension benefits) before separation and replaced it with part-time work (and did so for reasons unassociated with her role or duties in the marriage). She has not taken steps or even made inquiries about improving her position in the job market and she is living common law in a brief but stable relationship with a man earning an income comparable to that of Larry.
[43] For the sake of interest, I point out that the range of monthly spousal support under the SSAGs is $0-$0 if Larry’s annual income were to be $64,000, $0-$174 if $68,000, $0-$273 for $70,000 and $0(low)-$146(mid)-$477(high) at $74,000, with the income for Catherine being as found in her sworn financial statement.
[44] Although the commencement date for the calculation of spousal support is October 1, 2006, and the 5.5 years should be measured from that date, for convenience, I have used January 1, 2007 as the first payment date. Therefore, the six months of the remnant year would begin on January 1, 2012.
[45] And “shocking,” as I pointed out in an earlier footnote.
[46] In Morey v. Morey (1978), 8 R.F.L. (2d) 31 (Ont. Prov. Ct.), the court, dealing with s. 18(6) of the Family Law Reform Act (which is worded identically to s. 33(10) of the Family Law Act), outlined a number of guiding principles. Those same principles were relied on in B.(S.) v. B.(L.) reflex, (1999), 2 R.F.L. (5th) 32 (Ont. Sup. Ct.). However, in my respectful view, these principles do not materially add to an understanding or application of s. 33(10).
[47] I point out that I am not concerned with “parental alienation” as a psychological or a psychiatric term. My reference to parental alienation is merely factual and reflects the ordinary dictionary meaning of the words: “parental” – “of, pertaining to, or in the nature of a parent”; “alienation” – “the act of estranging or state of estrangement in feeling or affection”: see The New Shorter Oxford English Dictionary.
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"Despite the involvement of Niagara Family and Children’s Services, Ms. Katz, Mr. Leduc and the court, the parties repeatedly have shown that they are immune to reason. Consequently, in my decision, I have tried ridicule as a last resort."
Haha that's great. Sadly enough, I'm not sure if all the ridicule in the world can stop idiots from being idiots.
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There's so much gold in that judgement.
[91] Larry explained in his evidence that his comments to Taylor were anaemic attempts at humour. They were not intended to be hurtful. I accept his evidence. Mr. Leduc correctly characterized Larry as a passive man who was not adept at responding to situations involving his post-separation daughter. It is to be remembered that, following separation, Larry was confronted with an angry, hurt, confused and rebellious daughter who had been receiving advanced animosity-tutoring from Catherine. This would be a difficult situation for even the most talented and perceptive of fathers to overcome. Given Larry’s near-empty parenting toolbox, it is not surprising that he handled the matter awkwardly. Had Catherine fulfilled her dual parental duty to foster and encourage access between Larry and Taylor and not to speak disparagingly of him in the presence of Taylor, I am confident that this case would have unfolded differently.
[137] I urged the parties to obtain some form of counselling during the hiatus. They did. Normally that would be good news; but here it is not. Larry had several parenting/counselling sessions. Yet, in his closing argument, he still thought that it was appropriate to ask that the children be separated for custodial purposes. And Catherine, well, she sent the “dickhead” text message after having had three counselling sessions. In the witness box, after the hiatus, Catherine testified that she now realizes her text message was inappropriate. A brief recap is in order: Catherine rejected the advice and recommendations of Niagara Family and Children’s Services, Ms. Katz and Mr. Leduc; she ignored my several protestations during the pre-hiatus part of the trial during which I was critical of how the parties spoke of each other in the presence of the children; she disregarded my order that she and Larry were not to denigrate each other in the presence of the children during the hiatus; and, she participated in three court-recommended counselling sessions. After all of that she, nevertheless, sent the text message. Now, in the witness box, she purports to be bathed in the light of repentance and reason. I think not.
The closing remarks are great as well.
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TL;DR
Short version please. I need a quick lol before I go into my meeting savo. Also fuck yea Australia
User was temp banned for this post.
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Oh my god this is absolutely fantastic. I don't think I would make it through school if every assigned case opinion was this ridiculous. I would just laugh instead of brief.
To fully appreciate how frustrated and discouraged the judge is, and how hilarious this opinion is, you have to read the footnotes (little blue hyper links). Just keep the case open in one window side-by-side with a window displaying the footnotes, read them together, and enjoy.
Some of my favorites (footnotes in spoilers):
[18] Larry gave evidence that, less than one month later, Catherine, “Tried to run me over with her van.” + Show Spoiler +[6] This is always a telltale sign that a husband and wife are drifting apart. [71] Larry, who regularly drives by the residence of Sam and Catherine, “often shoots the finger”[21] at Sam. + Show Spoiler +[21] A finger is worth a thousand words and, therefore, is particularly useful should one have a vocabulary of less than a thousand words. [79] Taylor was having an access visit with Larry when she received a text message from Catherine that read: “Is dickhead[26] there?" + Show Spoiler +[26] The New Shorter Oxford English Dictionary defines “dickhead” as “a stupid person.” That would not have been my first guess.
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i'm in law school and i ain't reading that.
User was warned for this post
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On January 19 2011 11:02 BlackJack wrote:The funniest Canadian ruling is the one where a guy had a paternity test and found out his ex-wife's children weren't his but the judge ruled that he had to pay child support anyway.. lol http://www.nationalpost.com/news/story.html?id=1152816 That kinda sickens me..... I don't find that funny at all.....
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That was a really good read...didn't know our judges were allowed to say stuff like that. lol
I kinda felt like siding with Larry while reading it but...this was just funny/terrible
(a) Larry
[71] Larry, who regularly drives by the residence of Sam and Catherine, “often shoots the finger”[21] at Sam and, on about three occasions, has yelled: “Jackass, loser.”[22]
[72] In 2007, Larry created a false Facebook account in the name of Catherine on which he posted derogatory comments that appeared as if they had been authored by her. (Facebook is a popular website where one registers and posts personal information.)
[73] On August 14, 2007, Larry sent three text messages[23] to Catherine within a space of four minutes, saying: “The game is just starting. Prepare yourself for a long winding road”; “Busted! Always look in your rear view mirror”; and, “Blood isn’t always thicker than water.” Two days later he texted: “Loser! Home-wrecker!”[24]
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as long as they still call fair judgments i'm pleased they add in some humour every now and then haha
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On January 19 2011 11:02 BlackJack wrote:The funniest Canadian ruling is the one where a guy had a paternity test and found out his ex-wife's children weren't his but the judge ruled that he had to pay child support anyway.. lol http://www.nationalpost.com/news/story.html?id=1152816
I don't see how thats remotely funny or comical in anyway imaginable.
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