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On December 03 2009 05:21 meeple wrote:Show nested quote +On December 03 2009 05:12 CharlieMurphy wrote:On December 03 2009 05:05 meeple wrote:
I always thought it was a good thing to travel after college. It allows you to see more of the world and get a balanced view of things. Going straight into the workplace is asking for a mid-life crisis, once you realize you haven't really experienced anything. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quarter-life_crisis Show nested quote +Characteristics of quarter-life crisis may include[citation needed]:
Realizing the pursuits of ones peers are useless
Confronting their own mortality
Watching time slowly take its toll on their parents, only to realize they are next
insecurity regarding the fact that their actions are meaningless
insecurity concerning ability to love themselves, let alone another person
insecurity regarding present accomplishments
re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
lack of friendships or romantic relationships, sexual frustration, and involuntary celibacy
disappointment with one's job
nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life
tendency to hold stronger opinions
boredom with social interactions
loss of closeness to high school and college friends
financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipatedly high cost of living, etc.)
loneliness, depression and suicide
desire to have children
a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you
frustration with social skills I'm not sure that's what I was really talking about there
I bolded the applicable ones
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Being an adult to me pretty much means that I have to pay bills and file my own taxes and stuff while having ice cream for dinner.
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Huh, I have no problem with marriage or intimacy but getting a professional job does scare the shit out of me. I just don't feel prepared and feel like I'm going to end up getting fired after a week or so because I suck so much or something. This fear has kept me working crap jobs the past few years of my life and its really hard to overcome because I just naturally have a really strong fear of failure.
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On December 03 2009 05:20 intrigue wrote:
the things he says have merit and i'm sure most of us have experienced one or all of them. but he offers no solutions. what could possibly be done to address any of this? how are you going to teach that strict adherence to political correctness is stupid, that people shouldn't rely on alcohol so heavily, etc etc? these are things that... i don't know, just seems that there is no proper way to address this.
He seems to be saying that perhaps we've gone too far away from the old time model of teachers being guides outside of the classroom as well as in. The revolution of giving students pure unstructured social freedom does have its upsides, but perhaps it has gone too far and now there is a vacuum of structure and guidance outside of the classroom. Students have only their peers as role models I think is what he's saying.
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On December 03 2009 04:45 CharlieMurphy wrote:Show nested quote +On December 03 2009 04:43 Amber[LighT] wrote:On December 03 2009 04:33 CharlieMurphy wrote:
Don't a lot of college kids have shitty part time jobs anyways? Doesn't this cover all of that shit? A lot of college kids don't have jobs at all. so, what? You just live off parents money and/or student loans? Then there's the problem right there. Students are babied.
Some can't afford to work though =/ Depending on what they're studying and their capacity to balance work and studying, it can be impossible. Of course I'm writing this, while I'm at work too... -_-
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On December 03 2009 04:17 CharlieMurphy wrote:Show nested quote +Personal development occurs most dramatically in social interactions. It is in these interactions that students develop skills to relate to others, learn to deal with rejection and satisfy their needs to be known and loved for who they are. If the college social scene is dominated by alcohol and drugs, intoxication makes it exceedingly difficult to develop social skills, heighten responsiveness or deepen relationships. If every party centers on alcohol, students cannot confront new social problems to solve, find new ways of interacting with others or develop new possibilities for the deeper realization of the basic needs for recognition, empathy and friendship. wait what? Most people who do drugs and drink at parties are pretty social and have lots of acquaintances and friends all over the place. Just think of this, if you are out of smokes and money and addicted, it forces you to go out and talk to people. Often times you make friends this way alone, this is one of the only pros to smoking cigarettes.
I think the article meant you can't be loaded 24/7 and thus don't develop the social skills that apply under sober conditions.
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On December 03 2009 05:27 Haemonculus wrote:
Being an adult to me pretty much means that I have to pay bills and file my own taxes and stuff while having ice cream for dinner.
I tried to "like" this as you would on Facebook XD
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WWARRARRRR!!!
gotta take the world with a warcry!
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The author of the article overgeneralizes what being an adult is and what college students are like. Being adult isn't necessarily about having a professional job, or having that intimate relationship. It's about taking responsibilities for your own actions. The problem with maturity in the modern youth starts before college. Most parents don't want to do any parenting and just stick their kids in front of the TV. The little bits of parenting they do do entails telling their kids to study hard and go to a good college. Under these situations, what how can we expect our kids to be mature? Their lives are basically decided by their parents, and by their lack of life experiences sitting in front of the TV all day. No real life experience means no opportunities to make choices and take responsibilities for your actions. I'd argue that college actually is better for the youth because it provides them an opportunity where they effectively take responsibilities for all their actions. Some prosper in this environment, others flounder. Either way, it's something all people to need to go through in their lives; better to do it in college than to do it when you're 45.
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Which is exactly why communism/socialism appeals to so many people... people just can't be bothered to be responsible for themselves, and need a big brother to pamper to their every needs....
see below...
Whats wrong with getting money from your dad ?
Im sick and tired of this BS way of see life where if you havent fought for everything you have, you are incapable of appreaciating it.
for reference.
Interesting observation, but flawed interpretation i must say...
i don think this problem isn't only exclusive to college students, but to the general populace at large imo, the root of this problems doesn't stems from higher education institutions(though it does promote such occurance), but from a lack of personal motivation/discipline/responsibilities or whatever u wanna call it. In short, these people are pretty much like the dude in the big lebowski, no goals or aspirations in life, jus wanna take it all easy...
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On December 03 2009 04:17 CharlieMurphy wrote:Show nested quote +Personal development occurs most dramatically in social interactions. It is in these interactions that students develop skills to relate to others, learn to deal with rejection and satisfy their needs to be known and loved for who they are. If the college social scene is dominated by alcohol and drugs, intoxication makes it exceedingly difficult to develop social skills, heighten responsiveness or deepen relationships. If every party centers on alcohol, students cannot confront new social problems to solve, find new ways of interacting with others or develop new possibilities for the deeper realization of the basic needs for recognition, empathy and friendship. wait what? Most people who do drugs and drink at parties are pretty social and have lots of acquaintances and friends all over the place. Just think of this, if you are out of smokes and money and addicted, it forces you to go out and talk to people. Often times you make friends this way alone, this is one of the only pros to smoking cigarettes.
Think of it this way: You know when you wake up after a party and everyone is hungover and tired and kind of awkward? Then you all hang out later and just do jack shit until the alcohol arrives then you begin to have fun? That is not a social situation, it's unhealthy social fun. I know many people that can't have a good time without drugs or alcohol, and if they try it ends up being "boring" because they are so used to drinking with their "friends". This is not always the case obviously but it happens alot, mainly in dorms.
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On December 03 2009 04:17 CharlieMurphy wrote:Show nested quote +Personal development occurs most dramatically in social interactions. It is in these interactions that students develop skills to relate to others, learn to deal with rejection and satisfy their needs to be known and loved for who they are. If the college social scene is dominated by alcohol and drugs, intoxication makes it exceedingly difficult to develop social skills, heighten responsiveness or deepen relationships. If every party centers on alcohol, students cannot confront new social problems to solve, find new ways of interacting with others or develop new possibilities for the deeper realization of the basic needs for recognition, empathy and friendship. wait what? Most people who do drugs and drink at parties are pretty social and have lots of acquaintances and friends all over the place. Just think of this, if you are out of smokes and money and addicted, it forces you to go out and talk to people. Often times you make friends this way alone, this is one of the only pros to smoking cigarettes.
Think long and hard about it though, most of those people you wouldn't hang out with UNLESS they had said substance you were looking for. Same was true for me and pot. I had a lot of friends yes, but if they stopped smoking or since i stopped smoking, we don't really have a lot in common...
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On December 03 2009 05:32 MorningMusume11 wrote:Show nested quote +On December 03 2009 04:45 CharlieMurphy wrote:On December 03 2009 04:43 Amber[LighT] wrote:On December 03 2009 04:33 CharlieMurphy wrote:
Don't a lot of college kids have shitty part time jobs anyways? Doesn't this cover all of that shit? A lot of college kids don't have jobs at all. so, what? You just live off parents money and/or student loans? Then there's the problem right there. Students are babied. Some can't afford to work though =/ Depending on what they're studying and their capacity to balance work and studying, it can be impossible. Of course I'm writing this, while I'm at work too... -_-
If you believe you cannot work and do school work at the same time you are justifying your lazy behavior, and you probably aren't as smart as you think you are. (I'm not referring to you, this is general)
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On December 03 2009 06:03 Amber[LighT] wrote:Show nested quote +On December 03 2009 05:32 MorningMusume11 wrote:On December 03 2009 04:45 CharlieMurphy wrote:On December 03 2009 04:43 Amber[LighT] wrote:On December 03 2009 04:33 CharlieMurphy wrote:
Don't a lot of college kids have shitty part time jobs anyways? Doesn't this cover all of that shit? A lot of college kids don't have jobs at all. so, what? You just live off parents money and/or student loans? Then there's the problem right there. Students are babied. Some can't afford to work though =/ Depending on what they're studying and their capacity to balance work and studying, it can be impossible. Of course I'm writing this, while I'm at work too... -_- If you believe you cannot work and do school work at the same time you are justifying your lazy behavior, and you probably aren't as smart as you think you are. (I'm not referring to you, this is general)
or I like free time?
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On December 03 2009 05:25 CharlieMurphy wrote:Show nested quote +On December 03 2009 05:21 meeple wrote:On December 03 2009 05:12 CharlieMurphy wrote:On December 03 2009 05:05 meeple wrote:
I always thought it was a good thing to travel after college. It allows you to see more of the world and get a balanced view of things. Going straight into the workplace is asking for a mid-life crisis, once you realize you haven't really experienced anything. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quarter-life_crisis Characteristics of quarter-life crisis may include[citation needed]:
Realizing the pursuits of ones peers are useless
Confronting their own mortality
Watching time slowly take its toll on their parents, only to realize they are next
insecurity regarding the fact that their actions are meaningless
insecurity concerning ability to love themselves, let alone another person
insecurity regarding present accomplishments
re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
lack of friendships or romantic relationships, sexual frustration, and involuntary celibacy
disappointment with one's job
nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life
tendency to hold stronger opinions
boredom with social interactions
loss of closeness to high school and college friends
financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipatedly high cost of living, etc.)
loneliness, depression and suicide
desire to have children
a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you
frustration with social skills I'm not sure that's what I was really talking about there I bolded the applicable ones
I still don't understand... how does wanting to travel mean you're insecure and lonely?
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On December 03 2009 04:45 CharlieMurphy wrote:Show nested quote +On December 03 2009 04:43 Amber[LighT] wrote:On December 03 2009 04:33 CharlieMurphy wrote:
Don't a lot of college kids have shitty part time jobs anyways? Doesn't this cover all of that shit? A lot of college kids don't have jobs at all. so, what? You just live off parents money and/or student loans? Then there's the problem right there. Students are babied.
ding ding ding! you win!
Frankly people who push college as a way of making yourself have a happy life is bullshit now of days many people can go into a trade(such as a mechanic or carpenter) and achieve financial stability and independence much quicker with a whole lot less trouble. Only diff is how you see your job in relation to your social status, frankly to me hell it's the money for the time that i need to work that counts who the hell cares if i get dirty.
I bet a whole lot less students would stop drinking and parting all the time if they had to pay for their own shit 100%. Hell most of my friends that don't drink (they are in colleges in Cali) are those who have to pay for everything them selves.
College is great for 2 things
1 parting and getting shitfaced 24/7
2 just learning nice little things that may or may not help you in your jobs to come.
And what do you have to pay when you're parents are paying all the fees? Just need to not fail out of college basically the system is the parents pay for their kids to party in hopes that they wont have to have troubles getting jobs etc. But everyone I knew that wasn't already interning at places had a fuck time hard getting a job after college hell i know 4 people that went back for their doctorates just to avoid looking for a job.
What ever happened to the pre 1970's America where a grocer could retire conformable instead of having to take 3 jobs just to stay afloat.
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More psycobabble from another liberal yuppie zzzzZZZZZzzzz
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Liberal arts college philosophy professor says that College students need to grow up and enter the real world.
Hello pot, my name is kettle.
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On December 03 2009 04:37 Sadist wrote:
i will agree about trembling to enter the real world.
Im a Mechanical Engineering major.
I have a year left and I feel like ive learned nothing to prepare me for any type of job after college.
I havent taken an internship yet but even that from what im told by most friends who have isnt much of a learning experience. The economy is tanking and Mechanical Engineering seems like a pretty brutal business at the moment. There are few jobs and loads of assholes out there. I dont have a skill I guess thats my biggest problem with college. Some would say go to a trade school or something.....but youd think id at least have some sort of skill or picture of what im going after school is over with but I dont and I dont think most people do in my major. They may lie and pretend but talking to them and asking questions they dont know their shit either.
I was more or less in your same shoes, but I think I was much more optimistic. You know a hell of a lot more about a lot of different things than most people. For instance, when I was getting out of college, I knew how to use C, Java, and Matlab and knew a dozen different root-finding methods. I know how to formulate a problem and do a materials selection for a product. I've planned and modeled objects in 3d using AutoCAD and Inventor. I could solve a variety of different differential equations, knew the LaPlace Transform, and Cauchy's Integral theorem and how they could be applied in the real world.
Engineering is like the best field of study ever, because you know by the end that you're a bundle of esoteric knowledge ready to be incorporated into a company to solve very specific problems. The fact that you are on TL tells me that you also probably have an interest in optimization as a "gamer," and are handy enough with a computer that you probably also are knowledgeable about programming. You'd all be amazed how little there is to learn to do any one specific job, and how much more important it is to have a wide body of knowledge so you can be innovative and creative.
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On December 03 2009 06:11 meeple wrote:Show nested quote +On December 03 2009 05:25 CharlieMurphy wrote:On December 03 2009 05:21 meeple wrote:On December 03 2009 05:12 CharlieMurphy wrote:On December 03 2009 05:05 meeple wrote:
I always thought it was a good thing to travel after college. It allows you to see more of the world and get a balanced view of things. Going straight into the workplace is asking for a mid-life crisis, once you realize you haven't really experienced anything. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quarter-life_crisis Characteristics of quarter-life crisis may include[citation needed]:
Realizing the pursuits of ones peers are useless
Confronting their own mortality
Watching time slowly take its toll on their parents, only to realize they are next
insecurity regarding the fact that their actions are meaningless
insecurity concerning ability to love themselves, let alone another person
insecurity regarding present accomplishments
re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
lack of friendships or romantic relationships, sexual frustration, and involuntary celibacy
disappointment with one's job
nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life
tendency to hold stronger opinions
boredom with social interactions
loss of closeness to high school and college friends
financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipatedly high cost of living, etc.)
loneliness, depression and suicide
desire to have children
a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you
frustration with social skills I'm not sure that's what I was really talking about there I bolded the applicable ones I still don't understand... how does wanting to travel mean you're insecure and lonely?
In the context of the OP it depends entirely on your motivation for doing it.
If you want to travel after graduation because it was really important to you to see the place where your mom and dad grew up. Or if you were so interested in Starcraft Progaming that you wanted to go to Korea to experience it. Those would be perfectly good reasons to travel. And assuming you had the money to do so, the time that you had after graduating from school would probably be the best time in your life to fulfill that wish.
Contrast this to if you never spent any time figuring out what you were going to do in school, graduate, then find out you still have no idea what you're going to do. After that on a whim you decide to travel hoping for an epiphany, while making up excuses to your parents about wanting to see the world when you know in your heart that you are just running away from your problems hoping they'll disappear like a child that is unwilling to grow up and take responsibility
One of these show maturity, one of these show immaturity. Traveling is moving from one place to another, in doing so you can either be moving toward a goal or running away from one.
Knowing my friend traveled to Europe after school is not as important as knowing why my friend decided to travel if she is my friend.
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EPT
