On November 14 2009 16:57 jfazz wrote: I just want to go in a slightly different line, as I don't really feel I can add to what has been said by everyone else.
What exactly has she done wrong legally? You may be surprised how much you can do to help that situation - legal systems are usually quite understanding, especially for someone in your friends position. Im only well informed on australian law (LLB, LLM), but I am sure someone here could offer some more accurate advice as to her position. Otherwise hit me up, ill help where I can.
She frauded a bunch of government paperwork (T4 / notice of assessments), basically how much you declared to the government. It's a criminal offense AFAIK.
She's mostly stressed that she will be pursued criminally when shit hits the fan and the banks / bankruptcy courts unravel the fact that she submitted fraudulent paperwork in order to finance / refinance her properties.
I personally think the best way to tackle this is to find a path through the whole legal mess and avoid criminal charges if possible. But this is over my head.
I'm sure she's extremely paranoid which is normal, but to what extent her paranoias are real, I have no idea.
I won't try say anything about any of the details of her case as others have contributed since I don't think I have any explicit knowledge in the legal areas/psychological areas heck even life areas. By saying this I don't demean what others have said, by all means the complete opposite considering the fact that they had at least offered some sort of advice where as im sitting here poker faced :|.
So the best I can say is OP, good luck, work hard. That's te best I could do, I figured I should at least post something. And here is a picture of something which I am mezmerised by everyday.
The only little advice I can give that have helped myself is to find some little thing that you have to do before you you die. Like the release of sc2 as an most likely irrelevant example in her case. There must be something that you can make her look forward too and while she is waiting for it you can help her sort things out. When the event (or whatever she has been waiting for) comes things might be going better ect.
On November 15 2009 00:53 thedeadhaji wrote: ugh i wish I had something to offer, but I'm not even going to pretend I do .
I wish you both the best. It's all I can do
Same. I've only had friends who went emo-style a few times, talking about suicide but never really being serious about it (aka attention whoring), and the only one who really WAS serious did get professional help from psychiatrists and is now completely fine and off the pills.
I have no idea how to really handle a situation like this, so I'll just wish you the best of luck. Suicide is among the worst options there is, no matter how attractive it might look for the moment.
you can try to help her sleep by holding her. I know this sound odd and may seem to be taking advantage of the situation, but if you are the only person she trust, then you can provide some physical comfort. So by holding her, she feels more protected/secure and may actually be able to let her mind go a bit. It is impossible to convince anyone who is not ready, so in her case, a lack of sleep which drives her brain into using the emotional side instead of being logical.
On November 14 2009 14:44 YPang wrote: If she suddenly feels well, don't take it as a sign of relief because she might of thought of a clever suicide technique, and suddenly not worried anymore... Be cautious.
Also be mindful of your own safety when that happens....
Actually if she's asking for someone to help her with her suicide plan, it might mean that she's not very certain or that she thinks its some kind of suicide pact. Either way be careful and all the best of luck to you and yr friend.
Call a hotline and ignore any advice you get in this thread. We're not experts and we don't know what we're talking about anymore than you do.
For instance, all this "be there for her" "let her know you'll always be around" "be her rock to lean on" ... That's what lovers are for, and even then it's not the greatest idea. She has to find the answer in herself, not in someone else or she'll develop a nasty dependency issue. You're only around so much, what happens when you have to go somewhere, she's alone and miserable and she thinks she has to call to make things better? Unless you can make her associate being around you with being happy and something worth living for, you're not doing her any favours. You're just letting her brood.
For real, call the help line yourself. They completely expect people with friends who are in trouble to call, and they'll send you to the right people and give you the most psychologically current advice.
On November 15 2009 01:23 JFKWT wrote: Actually if she's asking for someone to help her with her suicide plan, it might mean that she's not very certain or that she thinks its some kind of suicide pact. Either way be careful and all the best of luck to you and yr friend.
It means she's too scared to do it herself. When I think of suicide I worry about if I fail and just end up living but injuring myself so badly I can't try again, or attracting too much attention from people who would want to stop me if I made a scene with some kind of poison. There's just aren't any guarantees in suicide, and guarantees is what a suicidal person is looking for, and why they're thinking about death. I guess I'm transposing my own experience onto her, and I can't say for sure. I certainly wouldn't ask anyone to commit euthanasia and risk going to jail their whole life, or even just having it on their conscience. That's so selfish it's seems she is either so consumed in herself she isn't thinking very far ahead, or she doesn't really care about you and she is using you because she's desperate. All the drugs she's on probably can't be helping her judgment.
Either way, you should call a help line. You shouldn't turn yourself into this tragic hero who she just complains to for hours a day. It's bad for both of you. People want to be listened to, but at some point they need to have some fun and be happy, and as their friend you need to make them realise that. Maybe that's not as intuitive as mimicking a dramatic TV show you once saw, but it's the truth. Sadness begets sadness.
I don't know what I can say that's already been said. I don't think I know enough to comment on what she should do, but can't she just declare bankruptcy and face the criminal offenses? Like someone earlier said, jail is definitely not the end of life. If anything, she would get proper psychiatry treatment and maybe it would be one of those small offense things so she would get one of those nicer penetentiaries with internet access. I guess starting over would be harder, but it certainly beats the lifestyle she's living now...
Your friend does have a few legal options to resolve her T4 goverment tax return problems.
She can look into the volunteer disclosure program(VDP) which allows you to volunteer correct information when you previously lied on your tax return. If this route is taken she must be willing to pay any taxes that will be owing with applicable interest and penalties.
You may ask why do that when you'll have to pay. The main reason is that if you do they will then not charge you criminally for fraud and just accept your correct information and expect payment. If there is a large amount owing and she is unable to pay, she may be able to work some payment plan with the CRA(government). You'd be surprised how much they are willing to work with you.
to do this right she should talk to an accountant or lawyer who can fill out and send in the application in on her behalf so there is no chance of the CRA finding out who she is before a deal is made.
if there is no chance of her having the funds to pay due to the other debts, she should be considering bankruptcy. the best route would be to go under the VDP and then claim bankruptcy so that tax debt will be wiped clear along with her other debts.
One thing you should be aware of is that student debt will survive the bankruptcy process so if her other debts are student debts nothing will help there expect hard work.
I hope she is willing to stick through this and live a long fulfilling life, b/c most ppl at some point have lost all hope and its only at our worst moment that we realize what we are made of and who our true friends are.
On November 15 2009 02:32 Tower82 wrote: Your friend does have a few legal options to resolve her T4 goverment tax return problems.
She can look into the volunteer disclosure program(VDP) which allows you to volunteer correct information when you previously lied on your tax return. If this route is taken she must be willing to pay any taxes that will be owing with applicable interest and penalties.
You may ask why do that when you'll have to pay. The main reason is that if you do they will then not charge you criminally for fraud and just accept your correct information and expect payment. If there is a large amount owing and she is unable to pay, she may be able to work some payment plan with the CRA(government). You'd be surprised how much they are willing to work with you.
to do this right she should talk to an accountant or lawyer who can fill out and send in the application in on her behalf so there is no chance of the CRA finding out who she is before a deal is made.
if there is no chance of her having the funds to pay due to the other debts, she should be considering bankruptcy. the best route would be to go under the VDP and then claim bankruptcy so that tax debt will be wiped clear along with her other debts.
One thing you should be aware of is that student debt will survive the bankruptcy process so if her other debts are student debts nothing will help there expect hard work.
I hope she is willing to stick through this and live a long fulfilling life, b/c most ppl at some point have lost all hope and its only at our worst moment that we realize what we are made of and who our true friends are.
On November 15 2009 02:32 Tower82 wrote: Your friend does have a few legal options to resolve her T4 goverment tax return problems.
She can look into the volunteer disclosure program(VDP) which allows you to volunteer correct information when you previously lied on your tax return. If this route is taken she must be willing to pay any taxes that will be owing with applicable interest and penalties.
You may ask why do that when you'll have to pay. The main reason is that if you do they will then not charge you criminally for fraud and just accept your correct information and expect payment. If there is a large amount owing and she is unable to pay, she may be able to work some payment plan with the CRA(government). You'd be surprised how much they are willing to work with you.
to do this right she should talk to an accountant or lawyer who can fill out and send in the application in on her behalf so there is no chance of the CRA finding out who she is before a deal is made.
if there is no chance of her having the funds to pay due to the other debts, she should be considering bankruptcy. the best route would be to go under the VDP and then claim bankruptcy so that tax debt will be wiped clear along with her other debts.
One thing you should be aware of is that student debt will survive the bankruptcy process so if her other debts are student debts nothing will help there expect hard work.
I hope she is willing to stick through this and live a long fulfilling life, b/c most ppl at some point have lost all hope and its only at our worst moment that we realize what we are made of and who our true friends are.
I have never had something motivate me to join here yet, but this has done it, you seem to be intelligent and a dependable guy, so maybe all you need is some insight. As none of us can directly help her, (There is no way someone in deep depression will just listen to a whole bunch of advice given by strangers.) all we can really do is help you help her. I know this isn't much, and it might not help at all, but maybe this might help, even if just by one iota. I do apologize if I'm out of line.
If you really want to help her, then I personally advise you try to do everything possible to manage her affairs and work out the path for her to get out of the problems. Show her how it can be achieved and how easy it is. I get the feeling that she might be overwhelmed by the problems and can't see a way out. Follow the guy a few posts up's advice. I don't know if you guys have a citizens advice bureau but you can probably call your DA anonymously and ask for some advice on the issue too.
If I were you, and I really cared, I would put aside an hour each day to actually look at her problems and work on solutions.
What the fuck are you doing in posting this on an internet forum?
A handful of internet sympathy and an armchair diagnosis won't do anything to keep your friend from killing herself. Act, and act properly. If your friend has directly asked you to assist in her suicide and the only thing you've done (however noble the intentions) is post on teamliquid, then you are a shitty friend. I just hope that she doesn't "Heath Ledger" herself while you are contemplating the following advice:
On November 14 2009 23:06 ruffe wrote: 1.help her with ur money if u r rich 2.try to find a professional negotiator to convince her not to do it.
If she didn't do that and you are drumming up drama, then you are just an asshole for masking a thread with false seriousness and urgency.
When shit like this ends up on an internet forum it is impossible to take seriously. Call a fucking doctor.
Why should anyone believe you when you claim you want 'serious' help all the while cracking Heath Ledger jokes. Anyone who makes a joke in poor taste has been banned, and the OP is making OD jokes.
And no dude, you don't have to do anything. Maybe her life is completely fucked up without remedy well too bad. Don't get mixed up in it.
Yes, that takes being complete asshole (for some people at least) but if the alternative is being a complete retard by aiding her suicide which is a crime, then I think the choice is a simple one.
Don't think you can solve her problems, it will only end up in you losing too much while she will still go down the same way, probably even more reassured to stop causing you more trouble. If you can't change her mind with pure reasoning, then there's nothing more you are obliged to.
EPT![[image loading]](http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2687/4089010987_4dd8de1c40_b.jpg)
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