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Canada7170 Posts
On November 15 2009 00:53 thedeadhaji wrote:ugh i wish I had something to offer, but I'm not even going to pretend I do  . I wish you both the best. It's all I can do  This. gl, dude.
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On November 15 2009 03:36 keV. wrote: What the fuck are you doing in posting this on an internet forum?
A handful of internet sympathy and an armchair diagnosis won't do anything to keep your friend from killing herself. Act, and act properly.
When shit like this ends up on an internet forum it is impossible to take seriously. Call a fucking doctor. Jesus.
Why should anyone believe you when you claim you want 'serious' help all the while cracking Heath Ledger jokes. Anyone who makes a joke in poor taste has been banned, and the OP is making OD jokes.
This thread is a joke.
So he is looking for sympathy, shoot him.
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"suicide is the wrong answer to a temporary problem"
> <;; try and convince her that death IS NOT the only option i clearly cant imagine her situation but try and convince her that there is a light at the end of the tunnel
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On November 15 2009 03:55 Cloud wrote:Show nested quote +On November 15 2009 03:36 keV. wrote: What the fuck are you doing in posting this on an internet forum?
A handful of internet sympathy and an armchair diagnosis won't do anything to keep your friend from killing herself. Act, and act properly.
When shit like this ends up on an internet forum it is impossible to take seriously. Call a fucking doctor. Jesus.
Why should anyone believe you when you claim you want 'serious' help all the while cracking Heath Ledger jokes. Anyone who makes a joke in poor taste has been banned, and the OP is making OD jokes.
This thread is a joke. So he is looking for sympathy, shoot him.
People looking for sympathy on the internet deserve the comments "let her do it..." etc.
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Russian Federation4447 Posts
On November 15 2009 02:32 Tower82 wrote: Your friend does have a few legal options to resolve her T4 goverment tax return problems.
She can look into the volunteer disclosure program(VDP) which allows you to volunteer correct information when you previously lied on your tax return. If this route is taken she must be willing to pay any taxes that will be owing with applicable interest and penalties.
You may ask why do that when you'll have to pay. The main reason is that if you do they will then not charge you criminally for fraud and just accept your correct information and expect payment. If there is a large amount owing and she is unable to pay, she may be able to work some payment plan with the CRA(government). You'd be surprised how much they are willing to work with you.
to do this right she should talk to an accountant or lawyer who can fill out and send in the application in on her behalf so there is no chance of the CRA finding out who she is before a deal is made.
if there is no chance of her having the funds to pay due to the other debts, she should be considering bankruptcy. the best route would be to go under the VDP and then claim bankruptcy so that tax debt will be wiped clear along with her other debts.
One thing you should be aware of is that student debt will survive the bankruptcy process so if her other debts are student debts nothing will help there expect hard work.
I hope she is willing to stick through this and live a long fulfilling life, b/c most ppl at some point have lost all hope and its only at our worst moment that we realize what we are made of and who our true friends are.
Thanks for the advice.
She frauded her notice of assessments. Her actual notice of assessments claim she declared only ~20K a year in income.
The one she made up to show to the bank claimed she made 250 000$.
Should she still go ahead and with the VDP, try and actually report 250 000$, find out how much she owes the government in taxes, and then file bankruptcy?
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Sanya12364 Posts
I don't know.
Convince her to run away and start a new life? Just drop her entire life and start anew. That's kind of like suicide - severing all her connections to her current life.
Be really careful of who you get to help her though. If you really care about your friend you should not just submit her to any agent of authority. You just might be throwing her into the hell that she is really afraid of.
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Sanya12364 Posts
On November 15 2009 04:05 Tien wrote: Thanks for the advice.
She frauded her notice of assessments. Her actual notice of assessments claim she declared only ~20K a year in income.
The one she made up to show to the bank claimed she made 250 000$.
Should she still go ahead and with the VDP, try and actually report 250 000$, find out how much she owes the government in taxes, and then file bankruptcy?
Whoa lie again to cover up the first lie? Haha. I wouldn't ever condone that.
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On November 15 2009 04:05 keV. wrote:Show nested quote +On November 15 2009 03:55 Cloud wrote:On November 15 2009 03:36 keV. wrote: What the fuck are you doing in posting this on an internet forum?
A handful of internet sympathy and an armchair diagnosis won't do anything to keep your friend from killing herself. Act, and act properly.
When shit like this ends up on an internet forum it is impossible to take seriously. Call a fucking doctor. Jesus.
Why should anyone believe you when you claim you want 'serious' help all the while cracking Heath Ledger jokes. Anyone who makes a joke in poor taste has been banned, and the OP is making OD jokes.
This thread is a joke. So he is looking for sympathy, shoot him. People looking for sympathy on the internet deserve the comments "let her do it..." etc.
Well morally he isn't forced to do much more than that. Logically he shouldn't get involved. Legally he can't be an accomplice.
If he is looking for a magical way to turn the mind of a selfish asshole a whole 180° then he is an idiot.
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On November 14 2009 14:30 OpticalShot wrote: I'm no psychological specialist, but I think your friend needs to: 1) accept the fact (she should have already, actually) that theres nobody else to blame except herself for the situation she's in. The more people she can blame her misery to, the more hatred grows and the farther away from the world she gets. 2) find a reason to live. This is hard - it could be love (probably the best motive and the hardest to "make one up"), some sort of a legacy, hobbies (strong ones), personal goals, power and fame, whatever.
I think it'll be best of you to simply spend time with her and keep her feel like she's part of the world. Often suicides occur because the person feels alone, isolated, unloved and uncared. She needs to know that, many times and often, and make sure she gets it. This is different from trying to convince her it's not so bad because if a person's contemplating suicide, it's very likely that her only voice of reason is her own and nobody else's. That's why it's important to constantly show she's not alone - her voice of reason might start listening to yours, and others.
All the best for your friend (and yourself too).
i underlined my favourite parts
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When people actually want to die, they just off themselves without much delay.
But this kind of shit happened to me before. My old best friend would say she was going to commit suicide quite often. She had plans and everything, was into self-harm, etc.
Anyway, the truth is, that dumb bitch just wanted attention. You don't tell people you're going to commit suicide without obviously wanting someone to swoop down and save you like some kind of bad fantasy. I "saved" her a few times, but it was obvious she was never going to do it! All her plans had loopholes, or would fail, because she always gave herself room to wiggle out of the situation, because she wasn't interested in actually dying, she just wanted people to actually care.
And dude, if a girl actually wants you to help her, IT'S A FUCKING CRY FOR ATTENTION. She doesn't want to die. She just wants to watch you squirm because she's desperate for someone to show they care about her. She's probably gotten way more attention from you now that she's "suicidal" right? I know you think she's your friend, but to do this, she's a horrible friend who just wants to make other people miserable to boost her esteem briefly. And now you're fucked because if she ever had the resolve to just get it over with, you'd think oh I could have prevented this, and her legacy to the would would've been, "You should have showered me with love when you had the chance." Fuck that shit, and fuck this girl. Desperate for love, desperate to spread her misery. Don't be a slave to her fabricated emotions.
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Suicide is for cowards.
Tell her that.
Also, tell her that no amount of debt/houses lost/blahblahblah is worth losing your life.
End of story on my part.
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Bill307
Canada9103 Posts
Hmm well here's my advice:
1. First and foremost, get her to calm down and take a long sleep for once. She's not gonna get any better if she's not thinking straight. Also, make sure she eats a healthy diet. Both sleep and diet have a BIG influence on ones ability to think.
You might even want to do this for a few days before giving her the bad news about her problems. The goal is to show her the benefits of sleeping and eating well so that she'll learn to take care of herself. Take on one thing at a time.
2. When you decide what she should do, don't just tell her what to do: talk her through the logical mental steps you took to reach the solution. Sounds like she needs help in that area and this is the way to start teaching her to solve her own problems.
imo she will ultimately have to come clean and take responsibility for everything she's done. She'll have to learn to live one day at a time. She'll have to learn to stop lamenting her situation and just live through it. She'll have to learn to take pleasure in simple, everyday things.
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8748 Posts
On November 15 2009 05:01 MountainDewJunkie wrote: When people actually want to die, they just off themselves without much delay.
But this kind of shit happened to me before. My old best friend would say she was going to commit suicide quite often. She had plans and everything, was into self-harm, etc.
Anyway, the truth is, that dumb bitch just wanted attention. You don't tell people you're going to commit suicide without obviously wanting someone to swoop down and save you like some kind of bad fantasy. I "saved" her a few times, but it was obvious she was never going to do it! All her plans had loopholes, or would fail, because she always gave herself room to wiggle out of the situation, because she wasn't interested in actually dying, she just wanted people to actually care.
And dude, if a girl actually wants you to help her, IT'S A FUCKING CRY FOR ATTENTION. She doesn't want to die. She just wants to watch you squirm because she's desperate for someone to show they care about her. She's probably gotten way more attention from you now that she's "suicidal" right? I know you think she's your friend, but to do this, she's a horrible friend who just wants to make other people miserable to boost her esteem briefly. And now you're fucked because if she ever had the resolve to just get it over with, you'd think oh I could have prevented this, and her legacy to the would would've been, "You should have showered me with love when you had the chance." Fuck that shit, and fuck this girl. Desperate for love, desperate to spread her misery. Don't be a slave to her fabricated emotions.
-Being independently decisive and/or impulsive are not necessary conditions for being suicidal. People who are contemplative and seek the opinions of others can be suicidal too and they can go about it in a way that fits their normal pattern of decision-making.
-People who want emotional attention are victims of a different psychological problem. You give no good reason for condemning them other than the implication that you don't know how to help.
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Don't let her read Hume.
Does your friend have any trade skills? The Red Cross needs people with specialised skills, and if she doesn't have those, every volunteer helps.
If she is religious she could become a nun.
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On November 15 2009 04:00 DreaM)XeRO wrote: "suicide is the wrong answer to a temporary problem"
> <;; try and convince her that death IS NOT the only option i clearly cant imagine her situation but try and convince her that there is a light at the end of the tunnel
not the "ONLY?" option? its NOT an option, period.
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On November 15 2009 05:01 MountainDewJunkie wrote: When people actually want to die, they just off themselves without much delay.
But this kind of shit happened to me before. My old best friend would say she was going to commit suicide quite often. She had plans and everything, was into self-harm, etc.
Anyway, the truth is, that dumb bitch just wanted attention. You don't tell people you're going to commit suicide without obviously wanting someone to swoop down and save you like some kind of bad fantasy. I "saved" her a few times, but it was obvious she was never going to do it! All her plans had loopholes, or would fail, because she always gave herself room to wiggle out of the situation, because she wasn't interested in actually dying, she just wanted people to actually care.
And dude, if a girl actually wants you to help her, IT'S A FUCKING CRY FOR ATTENTION. She doesn't want to die. She just wants to watch you squirm because she's desperate for someone to show they care about her. She's probably gotten way more attention from you now that she's "suicidal" right? I know you think she's your friend, but to do this, she's a horrible friend who just wants to make other people miserable to boost her esteem briefly. And now you're fucked because if she ever had the resolve to just get it over with, you'd think oh I could have prevented this, and her legacy to the would would've been, "You should have showered me with love when you had the chance." Fuck that shit, and fuck this girl. Desperate for love, desperate to spread her misery. Don't be a slave to her fabricated emotions.
Having been suicidal before (and very serious about it), I'd just like to say that you know absolutely nothing and should not spread around your misinformed opinions to people who actually need help. I'd say fuck you, instead of the girl.
EDIT: I missed that nony had addressed this already.
On November 15 2009 05:13 Manit0u wrote: Suicide is for cowards.
Tell her that.
Also, tell her that no amount of debt/houses lost/blahblahblah is worth losing your life.
End of story on my part.
Telling a suicidal person that they are a coward makes them more suicidal. Telling them your opinion of the worth of their life is also ineffective.
On November 15 2009 04:05 keV. wrote:Show nested quote +On November 15 2009 03:55 Cloud wrote:On November 15 2009 03:36 keV. wrote: What the fuck are you doing in posting this on an internet forum?
A handful of internet sympathy and an armchair diagnosis won't do anything to keep your friend from killing herself. Act, and act properly.
When shit like this ends up on an internet forum it is impossible to take seriously. Call a fucking doctor. Jesus.
Why should anyone believe you when you claim you want 'serious' help all the while cracking Heath Ledger jokes. Anyone who makes a joke in poor taste has been banned, and the OP is making OD jokes.
This thread is a joke. So he is looking for sympathy, shoot him. People looking for sympathy on the internet deserve the comments "let her do it..." etc.
"Let her do it" is actually the vast lesser of the two evils than "involuntarily commit her!" At least in the former you are respecting personal choice and freedom.
On November 15 2009 05:40 YPang wrote:Show nested quote +On November 15 2009 04:00 DreaM)XeRO wrote: "suicide is the wrong answer to a temporary problem"
> <;; try and convince her that death IS NOT the only option i clearly cant imagine her situation but try and convince her that there is a light at the end of the tunnel not the "ONLY?" option? its NOT an option, period.
Yes it is. LISTEN PEOPLE. Telling somebody suicidal that they are weak/wrong is COUNTERPRODUCTIVE. These are the reasons they are killing themselves in the first place. You can make death an option, while making it by far the least preferable.
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I couldn't find local bankruptcy support groups, but there's local Debtor's Anonymous and it seems ideal for this situation http://www.ehow.com/how_2157355_overcome-depression-during-bankruptcy.html
I really don't think you should just discount her reasons with platitudes like it's not worth it, et cetera. Some prisoners of war commit suicide while being tortured, and if someone told them that it's not worth it and he was being stupid and weak, I would assume the someone has a remarkable inability to understand perspectives outside of their after school special knowledge. This might sound offensive to some posters, but so is just completely ignoring what she thinks.
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Bleh, you should probably tell her to grow some balls, she is going to jail and that's like the only alternative. Sounds like she has no kids so it isn't all that much of a deal.
She fucked it up, and now she's trying to take another easy route while fucking up you and whatever other relatives or friends she has. Millions of women have gone through jail and survived.
So slap some sense into her.
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First take her out to chocolate ice cream, then take her to the clinic
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Seppuki hurts like hell, I wouldn't suggest it.
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