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lolo40489
18 Posts
Well I was a bit embarrased and do as if nothing was happening. But it was quite suprised he offered the lift and I stepped in and just farted and was just a little bit embarrased about it. I don\\\\\\\'t know if he noticed but well that is the story.  <- not steam, but gas. | ||
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exalted
United States3612 Posts
I'm in the computer lab when I feel that familiar rumbling below my belly. I have to rip one. Big time. It hurts so bad that I know if I stand up it'll force its way out. So I'm stuck there struggling against an imminent fart in a room full of people. I look around at my peers there in the computer lab. If any of them are under similar pressures, they aren't showing it. I decide to squeeze out the littlest bit. Just to take the edge off of the pain. It's risky and I know it. When something is that eager to escape, opening the door is ill-advised. I very carefully release my grip on the beast. Oh shit! That was way bigger than planned! I feverishly try to look like somebody who didn't just fart in public. I'm writing with my right hand and typing with my left. I'm reading the monitor and a book at the same time. My furrowed brow only hints at the wealth of activity taking place in my mind. It should be inconceivable that somebody this involved can also be farting. But wait a minute. That thing didn't make a sound. I didn't hear a whisper of what felt like a hearty, burrito-induced ass clap. I've been spared (clearly) by the fart muffling technology of the computer lab chair. I'm pleased and I see opportunty. If the chair can muffle that much, it can muffle a little more. Blinded by the relief the first fart provided, I push the limits of the chair with the second one. The duration is short but the flow rate is massive. It feels like POW! but it sounds like... Silence. This chair is truly amazing! I felt those vibrations up and down my back, but I didn't hear a single note of it. At this point I could safely stand up and walk out to take care of the rest in private, but why bother? This chair cannot be overcome. I let it all go, and I mean I am going for the gold with this one. A broadening smile forms across my face as the backs of my legs are vibrated into numbness. I can feel my ass cheeks slapping together with great force, almost painfully, yet the chair absorbs all. The suddenly empty feeling of my stomach is surprisingly satisfying. I return my hands, which had been braced against the desk throughout the tumultuous fart, to the arm rests of this marvelous chair. I triumphantly lean back, pleased with what I've gotten away with. That's when I realize I am wearing headphones. There's nothing special about the chair. "Country Grammar" is blaring in my ears. I look again at my peers in the computer lab. They are all looking back at me. People are leaning around computer monitors just to cast a disgusted look in my direction. There are three girls in my same row; each wears a different expression of horror. If I get up now, I'm the guy who farts and flees - leaving others to deal with my aroma. So I have to sit there typing, in the palpable heat of my own fart, until every last one of them is gone. [credit to SA] | ||
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LaSt)ChAnCe
United States2179 Posts
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Syst[eM]
335 Posts
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MuShu
United States3223 Posts
GG computer lab. | ||
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EvilTeletubby
Baltimore, USA22258 Posts
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Klogon
MURICA15980 Posts
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So no fek
United States3001 Posts
Anyway, my mom worked a day job and my dad worked a night job, so he would pick her up from work every now and then. We would get our friend to pick her up sometimes too, since he lived with us. Well being a kid, I had an urge to suprise her all of the time. My dad drove one of those Saturns that had the ability to open the trunk from the back seat. It was just about time to pick my mom up and I said I wanted to go along with my friend that was over. So we hop in the car and we get the guy living with us to drive. I decide I want to suprise my mom, so my dad, friend and I open the trunk and close the back so you can't tell it is open, but you can still open it. It was pretty cramped in there and already hard to breathe. My dad decides it would be a good time to let loose. Within seconds my friend and I are gasping for air. We attempt to open the back seat when our fears are realized. It has locked shut. We bang on the seat and hope that someone hears us. Our attempts were in vain. For the next twenty minutes, we are stuck in the trunk, and my dad continues to rip them. I've never been that sick in my life. | ||
Empyrean
17020 Posts
XD | ||
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RiSE
United States3182 Posts
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BatTheMan
Canada759 Posts
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lolo40489
18 Posts
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Kochen
Denmark154 Posts
I seriously rofled for 5 minutes :D:D:D | ||
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Sha-Mat
Greece277 Posts
roflmao man | ||
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ToT)MidiaN(
England2183 Posts
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oHInsane
France727 Posts
It makes me feeling the need to launch one of m favourite boomerang fart, you know the one where the aroma is coming straight back to ur nose ^^ Hmmm  | ||
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lolo40489
18 Posts
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Passion
Netherlands1486 Posts
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Xd2
Peru77 Posts
On December 24 2005 21:41 exalted wrote: Magic Chair I'm in the computer lab when I feel that familiar rumbling below my belly. I have to rip one. Big time. It hurts so bad that I know if I stand up it'll force its way out. So I'm stuck there struggling against an imminent fart in a room full of people. I look around at my peers there in the computer lab. If any of them are under similar pressures, they aren't showing it. I decide to squeeze out the littlest bit. Just to take the edge off of the pain. It's risky and I know it. When something is that eager to escape, opening the door is ill-advised. I very carefully release my grip on the beast. Oh shit! That was way bigger than planned! I feverishly try to look like somebody who didn't just fart in public. I'm writing with my right hand and typing with my left. I'm reading the monitor and a book at the same time. My furrowed brow only hints at the wealth of activity taking place in my mind. It should be inconceivable that somebody this involved can also be farting. But wait a minute. That thing didn't make a sound. I didn't hear a whisper of what felt like a hearty, burrito-induced ass clap. I've been spared (clearly) by the fart muffling technology of the computer lab chair. I'm pleased and I see opportunty. If the chair can muffle that much, it can muffle a little more. Blinded by the relief the first fart provided, I push the limits of the chair with the second one. The duration is short but the flow rate is massive. It feels like POW! but it sounds like... Silence. This chair is truly amazing! I felt those vibrations up and down my back, but I didn't hear a single note of it. At this point I could safely stand up and walk out to take care of the rest in private, but why bother? This chair cannot be overcome. I let it all go, and I mean I am going for the gold with this one. A broadening smile forms across my face as the backs of my legs are vibrated into numbness. I can feel my ass cheeks slapping together with great force, almost painfully, yet the chair absorbs all. The suddenly empty feeling of my stomach is surprisingly satisfying. I return my hands, which had been braced against the desk throughout the tumultuous fart, to the arm rests of this marvelous chair. I triumphantly lean back, pleased with what I've gotten away with. That's when I realize I am wearing headphones. There's nothing special about the chair. "Country Grammar" is blaring in my ears. I look again at my peers in the computer lab. They are all looking back at me. People are leaning around computer monitors just to cast a disgusted look in my direction. There are three girls in my same row; each wears a different expression of horror. If I get up now, I'm the guy who farts and flees - leaving others to deal with my aroma. So I have to sit there typing, in the palpable heat of my own fart, until every last one of them is gone. [credit to SA] you should write a book about ur fating experiences, that will be the tiltle btw nice drama :D | ||
ManaBlue
Canada10458 Posts
Nice find exalted. | ||
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Xd2
Peru77 Posts
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ubergamer15
United States645 Posts
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Haemonculus
United States6980 Posts
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miNi
Korea (South)2010 Posts
roffle, awesome | ||
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decafchicken
United States20090 Posts
I'm in the computer lab when I feel that familiar rumbling below my belly. I have to rip one. Big time. It hurts so bad that I know if I stand up it'll force its way out. So I'm stuck there struggling against an imminent fart in a room full of people. I look around at my peers there in the computer lab. If any of them are under similar pressures, they aren't showing it. I decide to squeeze out the littlest bit. Just to take the edge off of the pain. It's risky and I know it. When something is that eager to escape, opening the door is ill-advised. I very carefully release my grip on the beast. Oh shit! That was way bigger than planned! I feverishly try to look like somebody who didn't just fart in public. I'm writing with my right hand and typing with my left. I'm reading the monitor and a book at the same time. My furrowed brow only hints at the wealth of activity taking place in my mind. It should be inconceivable that somebody this involved can also be farting. But wait a minute. That thing didn't make a sound. I didn't hear a whisper of what felt like a hearty, burrito-induced ass clap. I've been spared (clearly) by the fart muffling technology of the computer lab chair. I'm pleased and I see opportunty. If the chair can muffle that much, it can muffle a little more. Blinded by the relief the first fart provided, I push the limits of the chair with the second one. The duration is short but the flow rate is massive. It feels like POW! but it sounds like... Silence. This chair is truly amazing! I felt those vibrations up and down my back, but I didn't hear a single note of it. At this point I could safely stand up and walk out to take care of the rest in private, but why bother? This chair cannot be overcome. I let it all go, and I mean I am going for the gold with this one. A broadening smile forms across my face as the backs of my legs are vibrated into numbness. I can feel my ass cheeks slapping together with great force, almost painfully, yet the chair absorbs all. The suddenly empty feeling of my stomach is surprisingly satisfying. I return my hands, which had been braced against the desk throughout the tumultuous fart, to the arm rests of this marvelous chair. I triumphantly lean back, pleased with what I've gotten away with. Then archers. Thousands of them. Out of no where, appearing all over the porch, doorway and house. They start shooting bows at me and her, and I carry her to safety outside. But I was wrong. Ninjas. Thousands of them. They start shooting their stars at us. I quickly ran into a sewer that had an open lid. Me and her were both wet. I ran all the way in the end, then ninja mutant ninja turtles. Only four of them. They were actually nice, gave me some pizza, and soon enough they killed all of the enemies. So then I went back home, exhausted and tired as hell. But I can say that was the greatest night of my life. Next time I'll call her and hopefully we'll do some more intense farting. | ||
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HowitZer
United States1610 Posts
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SwedishHero
Sweden869 Posts
Man was it nasty, dont know how the fuck I succeded | ||
Xeofreestyler
Belgium6774 Posts
A friend of mine was lighting all his farts at a festival last summer, lol And he must've eaten beans or something cuz damn, he didnt fart a little bit :/ | ||
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HappyManRun
1111 Posts
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lolo40489
18 Posts
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Xd2
Peru77 Posts
- put your hand in your ass crack so that the fart can be soften im serious just place your hand in the ass and 100% of the time the fart will not sound, the problem is how to place ur hand in the ass without being noticed -_- ( recommended) - when a fart is gonna join a conversation COUGH this will camuflage the sound and when somebody smell it you can blame another person easily. | ||
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Passion
Netherlands1486 Posts
On January 21 2006 16:04 Xd2 wrote: here are a little funfacts about farting and how u can prevent the fuking sound: - put your hand in your ass crack so that the fart can be soften im serious just place your hand in the ass and 100% of the time the fart will not sound, the problem is how to place ur hand in the ass without being noticed -_- ( recommended) - when a fart is gonna join a conversation COUGH this will camuflage the sound and when somebody smell it you can blame another person easily. you could also just fart with full power and magnificent thunderlike sound, then just look really really guilty and say sorry. then order an other beer. (recommended) | ||
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Coulthard
Greece3359 Posts
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Syst[eM]
335 Posts
lolo40489 . January 21 2006 14:20. Posts 8 PM Profile Buddy Quote no more funny stories? WHY THE HELL ARE YOU BUMPING THESE OLD POSTS? IF THEY DIED IT IS BECAUSE WE DON'T CARE ANYMORE  | ||
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decafchicken
United States20090 Posts
On January 21 2006 16:04 Xd2 wrote: here are a little funfacts about farting and how u can prevent the fuking sound: - put your hand in your ass crack so that the fart can be soften im serious just place your hand in the ass and 100% of the time the fart will not sound, the problem is how to place ur hand in the ass without being noticed -_- ( recommended) - when a fart is gonna join a conversation COUGH this will camuflage the sound and when somebody smell it you can blame another person easily. Or you could just spread your cheeks slightly so that when the air comes out there is no flapping sound. Works like a charm. I havent made a farting sound in months :/ | ||
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