Girlfriend’s history bothers the fuck out of me - Page 2

On October 29 2010 23:21 Emon_ wrote:
VERY few guys turn down sex if it's offered to them. If they look good, are single and the woman is into it, it's a done deal. Check some of the replies in this topic: http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=108168

Now, a woman functions the same. Sex is offered by a lot of pretty boys/rakes/thugs and all she has to do is say yes and it's a one night stand right there.

On October 29 2010 23:27 BLinD-RawR wrote:


and these women are commonly known as whores and sluts.

On October 29 2010 23:25 SolHeiM wrote:


No. Women don't work like that at all. Men work just like a light switch. On/Off. Women are more akin to a volume knob, where you gradually "increase the volume" until she's ready to go. Very few women are promiscuous enough to sleep with the first person to offer them dick.

On October 29 2010 23:29 Emon_ wrote:ArbAttacks g/f is no saint if she's out partying and making out with random guys. Who's to say she isn't having sex with other guys? For example, the walk to a car and some lovin' in the moonlight is a very real possibility.

On October 29 2010 23:18 Salv wrote:
What I mean is: Is the problem that you think she might cheat on you, or that you just hate her past so much?

On October 29 2010 23:29 Pengu1n wrote:
You never mentioned if she had sex with any of these random guys just that she made out with them. I understand how it can bother you, but I think the real reason it bothers you is because you don't do the same thing. You don't make out with random hot girls you meet.

On October 29 2010 23:35 Chill wrote:
You have massive confidence issues. You should probably fix them.

On October 29 2010 22:42 ArbAttack wrote:
On one hand, I feel so sorry for my GF because I love her and I’ve been showering her with attention and care, but on the other hand, I’ve also developed feelings of contempt and anger towards her which I cannot communicate. Every time that I’ve tried to bring up subjects of her past (casually, jokingly, seriously, understandingly, etc. you name it) she becomes very guarded and irritated.

Now, I TRY SO HARD, I honest do, to just let it go. I try so hard to forget, or least not think about it, but I just can’t do it. I get irritated and depressed whenever her past crosses my mind, which unfortunately has become quite often. I really want to be a big person here, but I guess I’m just not one. All the mystery and making out with dozens of guys aside, I just can’t comprehend what she was thinking with her ex – why did she let a guy, who obviously didn’t love her and treated her like shit, fuck her especially for the first time (that ended in her ex dumping her a week later)? Now that I think about it, we had oral sex 2 weeks into our relationship, then sex 2 weeks after that. That was really fast for me, but she seemed completely okay and open with it. Why am I complaining about my hot GF that puts out? Well, combined with her past history this really makes me wonder about her integrity and fidelity as a person.

Despite all the media desensitization towards sex I have to say, at least in my social/cultural group, SEX IS A BIG DEAL, especially for the first time.

This girl loves me a lot, and I love her back. I’ve been otherwise extremely happy with her and I ‘m sure the same is true for her as well. I know that what matters is her present with me not the past, which is nothing short of the utmost loyalty, care, dependency and love towards me; I should just fucking be happy. But her past is like a fucking insect in the back of my skull, it’s a mental thing that gnaws at my brain whenever I think about it and I just wish I CAN STOP FEELING THIS WAY.

On October 29 2010 23:53 ArbAttack wrote:


Nope I'm sure she was just making out with them, I know her (and her friends) well enough to know that. If she did, I wouldn't be dating her at all.

On October 29 2010 23:53 ArbAttack wrote:


Not worried about cheating, we both made it clear that the relationship ends as soon as one of us cheats and she loves me enough not to do so.



Nope I'm sure she was just making out with them, I know her (and her friends) well enough to know that. If she did, I wouldn't be dating her at all.



Mind telling me why? I know you're always super harsh on these blogs Chill because you want to feel as if you're a world-class psychologist diagnosing the problems of TLers in sharp one liners, but you're not always right. You always think you're right so if you can determine the confidence level of someone over 1 blog (or a few, I know you have nothing better to do but check the posting history of anonymous internet posters) then by all means, go and become a real fucking psychologist.

FYI, I'm a pretty good looking guy with an enjoyable social circle, and female acquaintances that I can call up to date anytime I want. In fact, I still have 2 so-called "backups", not bad looking ones either. Not that any of this carries any weight on a forum; I'm not trying to defend myself against your statement (I couldn't care less about what you say when you just make a completely negative and noncontributing statement like that), I came here for advice on a real problem so all I'm saying to you is that, you're wrong, either contribute or refrain (I'd use more appropriate/harsher expressions but you are a mod) from posting in these blogs.

Thanks.

On October 30 2010 00:05 Happy.fairytail wrote:


Holy crap I can't believe how harsh almost everyone in this thread has been on the OP.

Ya'll are pretending like sex doesn't matter? Get real, people totally care about who slept with who, and how many times. I don't know one person who has the same cavalier attitude that 90% of posters in this thread claim. These things do matter, someone's sex history is a very sensitive and personal topic -- why? Because it's baggage you're bringing to the relationship.

Everyone has baggage -- emotional, sexual, self-esteem, childhood abuse, religious experience, etc. You can't simply dismiss these things, and I really question whether 90% of the posters in this thread have ever had a meaningfully intimate relationship that has had to deal with the real baggage, the real issues in life. And like I said, everyone has baggage -- everyone is insecure about something, if they're real enough to admit it.

OP, I just wanna say that what you're feeling is totally normal. In fact, it's my opinion that what you're feeling is a result of your relationship progressing somewhat too quickly. Talking about such intimate topics, and any real deep issues really, require a lot of trust and commitment in the relationship -- which can only be cultivated by time. Otherwise, it's not safe for her to share such things, and you may not be in a position where you truly love her enough to stay with her and fully and unconditionally support her through it.

OP, let me just repeat what I've said -- what you're feeling is normal. Everyone has baggage, and it's difficult for us to deal with it, especially if it's brought up too early in a relationship.

My advice is right now, I think you should continue talking it out with your close guy friends, and just get it off your chest ... wait a couple of days to clear your head, you don't want to say anything stupid on the spur of the moment. Then decide for yourself how you want the relationship to proceed. (Personsally, I'm rooting for you to slow down, take the time to know her, and try to push off having a serious conversation about the sex thing as long as possible until the relationship has deepened enough where both of you feel safe enough to talk about it)

Hope this helps.