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Active: 772 users

I really want to play, only I don't

Blogs > Osmoses
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Osmoses
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
Sweden5302 Posts
January 25 2009 02:09 GMT
#1
I have a problem. A starcraft problem. I love the game, and I really like playing it, but I don't want to.

See, whenever I do force myself to join a game and play, I have so much fun, but between games I have such a strong feeling of not wanting to play another game. It's like a conditioned chemical struggle inside my brain. It might be nervousness, but then again I really don't mind losing when I've had a fun game. It might be that I'm afraid to come off as a noob, because Iccup seems so intimidating, but then again do I really care what other people I don't even know think about my skills at starcraft?

What is this ailment? Why can't I just get the urge to play, get on iccup, and play? Why this rotten feeling in my stomach every time I am about to join a game? This is really screwing up what could be such an enjoyable time for me.

I could liken the feeling I get with that of going out clubbing. I'm not a party-guy, I never have been, I always feel so awkward and uncomfortable before I get a couple drinks in me, even when I am only partying with my friends. I feel boring and uninteresting whenever I go out for the specific purpose of having "a good time". When I'm just meeting strangers for some reason I am the most sociable person you could imagine, talking and joking and being just such a charming little alpha male, but it's when I am about to go out with the intent of having a good time and partying, etc, that I feel out of place. Maybe I do give a shit if people think I'm interesting (or skilled...) even though I don't realize it?

Anyway, this has now carried over into my starcraft playing. I get the exact same, uncomfortable feeling. Why am I so insecure about playing an anonymous game online when I am so relaxed and confident otherwise? And like I said, once the game starts, the feeling goes away almost immediately.

Maybe it's stress? Maybe I'm stressed out, feeling I have to perform well (and starcraft is a very demanding game). But then, why? Nobody cares if I win or not, including me, I LAUGH when I lose a game that I came very close to winning.

Why can't I just PLAY!?

**
Excuse me hun, but what is your name? Vivian? I woke up next to you naked and, uh, did we, um?
Folca
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
2235 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-01-25 02:16:01
January 25 2009 02:14 GMT
#2
You have to defeat yourself in the mind games, thats all I can help you with
Calm down, start being apathetic about playing, maybe that could help you some bit
GL
:edit:
You know, I had the same problem too, losing to other people, especially my friends, and they obviously dont help, ending their games with like "pwned, owned, or wtf you suck" and im like, ok whatever, but in my head im like, dude fuck you piece of shit blah blah blah...
But really, its all about controlling your mind and starting to learn to just get over it, you won't go pro, play for fun ffs
Yeah its really annoying when other people won't help you at all, but whatever eh?
Dea : one time when he was playing vs the comps he asked me "how do I make that flying unit that makes the other stuff invisible" and I reply "ur playing terran zomg"
renegade_zerg
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
Korea (South)525 Posts
January 25 2009 02:19 GMT
#3
Have some confidence in yourself. We all lose games from time to time, but try and improving from those games.
Zapdos_Smithh
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
Canada2620 Posts
January 25 2009 02:29 GMT
#4
Haha you remind me so much of myself.

If I don't feel like playing pubs on iccup, I'll just play w/friends or do micro tourneys or w/e. Eventually I will get the feeling to play pubs so I will do it then. I find forcing myself just isn't as fun.
paper
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
13196 Posts
January 25 2009 02:31 GMT
#5
stop giving a shit and DO
Hates Fun🤔
Plexa
Profile Blog Joined October 2005
Aotearoa39261 Posts
January 25 2009 02:48 GMT
#6
Stop iCCup'ing, get some friends on SC, and have a blast!!
Playing with friends is so much more fun that fucking around on icc
Administrator~ Spirit will set you free ~
3clipse
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
Canada2555 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-01-25 02:57:45
January 25 2009 02:56 GMT
#7
I get the same feeling as well when I play on iccup. I know I love to play but starting games on iccup is just painful for some reason. I think it's because I know that those games will count towards my record and it makes me nervous. Much more fun to just play on bnet or with friends sometimes. I've found a good way to beat that is to just get the ball rolling so you have that inertia. Once you play one game it's a lot easier to play a second. And it's even easier to play a third. Just try to get yourself on a roll and playing iccup will become normal and automatic. I usually don't play often but when I did that I got 15 games in in one day and time just flew by.
emperorchampion
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada9496 Posts
January 25 2009 02:59 GMT
#8
obsing is da bomb
TRUEESPORTS || your days as a respected member of team liquid are over
BanZu
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States3329 Posts
January 25 2009 03:13 GMT
#9
Pretty much sums up how I felt too.

Got over it by playing only when I'm pumped up and ready to go. Otherwise, I play with friends 1v1 or 3v3
Sun Tzu once said, "Defiler becomes useless at the presences of a vessel."
IPS.ZeRo
Profile Joined April 2003
Germany1142 Posts
January 25 2009 03:20 GMT
#10
I kinda know that. I mostly don't play because i just don't have time, but right now instead of surfing around i could have made one or two games.
Although i don't really care about my stats i still don't want to play when i am drunk/totally tired or don't have a good keyboard/mouse at hand.
Since those conditions make up quite some time of my free time i play way less than i could i i would really force myself to play. Don't know why i can't do it.
aka DTF-ZeRo
-orb-
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States5770 Posts
January 25 2009 03:23 GMT
#11
That's so weird, I have the opposite.

I have cravings to play, and then after playing a couple games I get raged and stop lol.
'life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery'
how sad that sc2 has no shield battery :(
TheYango
Profile Joined September 2008
United States47024 Posts
January 25 2009 03:37 GMT
#12
On January 25 2009 11:48 Plexa wrote:
Stop iCCup'ing, get some friends on SC, and have a blast!!
Playing with friends is so much more fun that fucking around on icc

This.

I find in general I feel more comfortable playing with friends. I don't get worked up over losses, we have good laughs when we try screwed up stuff, and often, they're better at picking out my mistakes than I am.
Moderator
MeriaDoKk
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
Chile1726 Posts
January 25 2009 03:42 GMT
#13
On January 25 2009 11:31 paper wrote:
stop giving a shit and DOTA

x89titan
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
Philippines1130 Posts
January 25 2009 03:56 GMT
#14
i think ur just scared of losing after putting so much time into that one game only to lose. games take from 5 mins to 20,30, and even 60 mins at times. i know how u feel. i played 5 games a day and joined a clan to get out of that mentality and start playing for real. u could play obs games without the game counting against ur record if thats what ur afraid of. and when ur playing with friends, the game starts becoming fun again.
Heaven came down and glory filled my soul, when at the cross the Savior made me whole
Cloud
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
Sexico5880 Posts
January 25 2009 04:12 GMT
#15
Whatever dude, either play or dont play at all. Middle terms are for losers.
BlueLaguna on West, msg for game.
Mannequin
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Canada131 Posts
January 25 2009 04:15 GMT
#16
Yeah same with me sometimes, play on B.net and skrew around untill you don't get nervous just when your in the game just say to yourself who the hell gives a crap if i win or not im on B.net i don't care and if your afraid of loosing on iccup make a noob account to practise on so you don't get all the loses on your main one.
And try to find a mate or two to just practise with, You can find somone on TL.net that will play with ya for fun and you can find somone your level not everyone is good on TL Im not very good .
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
alphafuzard
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
United States1610 Posts
January 25 2009 05:08 GMT
#17
4 pool your brain
more weight
thedeadhaji *
Profile Blog Joined January 2006
39489 Posts
January 25 2009 05:23 GMT
#18
um Cloud, as far as I can tell from reading your posts and OneOther's posts earlier in this thread, O.Other is simply saying that "rushing corsair asap still will not give you the information that he is going 2 hatch hydra, in time for you to make adjustments in survive - thus while you should be getting a corsair, you cannot depend solely on it to rescue you from your uncertain position, thus other measures must be taken in combination."

I do believe you're misinterpreting what he meant with his reply.
paper
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
13196 Posts
January 25 2009 05:28 GMT
#19
On January 25 2009 12:42 MeriaDoKk wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 25 2009 11:31 paper wrote:
stop giving a shit and DOTA



o shi-
Hates Fun🤔
EsX_Raptor
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States2801 Posts
January 25 2009 05:32 GMT
#20
I was an exact duplicate of you a year ago.

I was always nervous about the games though when I played them I had a crapload of fun.

But when it was time to go re, I was like I just didn't want or something because I thought that then my reputation would go down the drain if I lost the game.

It goes away with time, if you face the fear ofc.
Specialist
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
United States803 Posts
January 25 2009 07:11 GMT
#21
I always get a nice rec or something I was content with on iccup and become to scared to damage the rec. I was like D+ anyways so I don't even know why. So I guess I have sort of the same problem.

I have the most fun just playing with friends on bnet east. Be it fastest, ums, or whatever. It's fun to just goof around and try random things.
jodogohoo
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Canada2533 Posts
January 25 2009 07:13 GMT
#22
I punched myself in the face whenever i cared about my rank. Never looked back
Aesop
Profile Joined October 2007
Hungary11291 Posts
January 25 2009 09:36 GMT
#23
Visit op irc some time on the iccup server, I usually have more fun playing TLneters on UMS than to dive fully into the ladder.
ModeratorNon veritas sed auctoritas facit legem. | Liquipedia: Don't ask me, I'm retired.
shavingcream66
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States1219 Posts
January 25 2009 09:39 GMT
#24
sounds like me...I get on good streaks on ICCUP and i feel like i'm king of the world and then I get stomped and I just cry and quit and never touch ICCUP for the rest of the season
s.a.y
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
Croatia3840 Posts
January 25 2009 16:24 GMT
#25
wow you described me :D

i have the same problem. try to play the same map all of the time and try different strats, that works for me.

on the other hand, i have this feeling inside i should do something else, because playing sc will not get me any money and stuff.
I am not good with quotes
Knickknack
Profile Joined February 2004
United States1187 Posts
January 25 2009 19:11 GMT
#26
hmm feelings of apprehension.Sc is a demanding game and I was not willing/able to put myself into it fully and realized limited opportunity so I stopped. This does not sound like you however.

Try advice here:
http://sportsmedicine.about.com/cs/sport_psych/a/aa010603a.htm


Understand that pre-race jitters are normal and accept them. Don't fight the nervous energy you feel. Don't misinterpret it by thinking that it is fear. That adrenaline rush you feel is normal and it is part of your body's natural preparation for the competition. Notice it, but don't focus on it. Once the race starts, that feeling will subside, as it always does. Prepare both mentally and physically. Arrive at the event with plenty of time so you aren't rushed, which only increases your stress. Get a thorough warm-up. Do some easy stretching. Know the course. Dress for conditions.

Allow a few minutes to visualize yourself doing everything right. Breathe easy, close your eyes and use mental imagery to visualize yourself performing well. This positive self-talk can change your attitude. While athletes need to be flexible enough to react during the event, you should enter the event with a general strategy of how you want to race. Your strategy can be simple (maintain a steady pace or maintain a steady heart rate) or complex.
| www.ArtofProtoss.vze.com |
yoshtodd
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
United States418 Posts
January 25 2009 19:34 GMT
#27
I thought it was just me. I wonder what makes some people have steel nerves against repeated asswhoopings, and others feel so much dread at playing again that the game is no longer fun.
moo
Moff
Profile Joined August 2008
United Kingdom166 Posts
January 25 2009 19:38 GMT
#28
I had that too, after i lost 3/4 games against a D player and didn't play for a while..after i found out he was really a C rank just farming me i stopped caring. I'd rather try and win and lose than not play at all, if you need motivation, look at the accounts with 4-88
Dr.Dragoon
Profile Joined November 2007
United States1241 Posts
January 25 2009 19:42 GMT
#29
I get this feeling a lot too. I have to force myself to actually play on iccup, and then after I win a few games, I just can't force myself to play any more. I keep worrying about losing my streak or something, which is weird since I usually don't care about my record.
~o~ I have returned
decafchicken
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
United States20017 Posts
January 25 2009 19:56 GMT
#30
i get this same thing.

too bad none of my sc friends play any more Thats when i used to mass game...now its just kinda bleh until i get into a game then its like SCSCSCSCSILOVEIT then its like bleh again
how reasonable is it to eat off wood instead of your tummy?
anderoo
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Canada1876 Posts
January 25 2009 20:06 GMT
#31
On January 25 2009 14:23 thedeadhaji wrote:
um Cloud, as far as I can tell from reading your posts and OneOther's posts earlier in this thread, O.Other is simply saying that "rushing corsair asap still will not give you the information that he is going 2 hatch hydra, in time for you to make adjustments in survive - thus while you should be getting a corsair, you cannot depend solely on it to rescue you from your uncertain position, thus other measures must be taken in combination."

I do believe you're misinterpreting what he meant with his reply.


Tabs can be confusing sometimes, huh?
Frits
Profile Joined March 2003
11782 Posts
January 25 2009 20:16 GMT
#32
First of all, everyone cares if he loses, in a way. This actually makes you a better player.

I think you just have the feeling that people expect you to perform really well in certain environments, that you feel you have to do really well and therefore don't feel like initiating most things because they feel like a big commitment or something like that? Just a theory.
anderoo
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Canada1876 Posts
January 25 2009 20:20 GMT
#33
On January 26 2009 01:24 s.a.y wrote:
on the other hand, i have this feeling inside i should do something else, because playing sc will not get me any money and stuff.


sometimes i wonder if it's worth investing so much time and energy into just a hobby

i wish i was good enough to win just a small tournament with maybe a $50-$100 prize so I could justify this game
Mutalisk
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
288 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-01-25 21:34:59
January 25 2009 21:34 GMT
#34
I had and still have ( a little less.. ) the same problem. I even made a threat with similar problems, I got some really nice answers that might help you http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=80065
VeirenT
Profile Joined August 2008
United States181 Posts
January 26 2009 00:59 GMT
#35
sit yourself down, get on a smurf account if needed, and just get it in your brain that you are going to aggressively game regardless of outcome (in the name of fun)
Normal
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