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Active: 694 users

I really want to play, only I don't

Blogs > Osmoses
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1 2 Next All
Osmoses
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
Sweden5302 Posts
January 25 2009 02:09 GMT
#1
I have a problem. A starcraft problem. I love the game, and I really like playing it, but I don't want to.

See, whenever I do force myself to join a game and play, I have so much fun, but between games I have such a strong feeling of not wanting to play another game. It's like a conditioned chemical struggle inside my brain. It might be nervousness, but then again I really don't mind losing when I've had a fun game. It might be that I'm afraid to come off as a noob, because Iccup seems so intimidating, but then again do I really care what other people I don't even know think about my skills at starcraft?

What is this ailment? Why can't I just get the urge to play, get on iccup, and play? Why this rotten feeling in my stomach every time I am about to join a game? This is really screwing up what could be such an enjoyable time for me.

I could liken the feeling I get with that of going out clubbing. I'm not a party-guy, I never have been, I always feel so awkward and uncomfortable before I get a couple drinks in me, even when I am only partying with my friends. I feel boring and uninteresting whenever I go out for the specific purpose of having "a good time". When I'm just meeting strangers for some reason I am the most sociable person you could imagine, talking and joking and being just such a charming little alpha male, but it's when I am about to go out with the intent of having a good time and partying, etc, that I feel out of place. Maybe I do give a shit if people think I'm interesting (or skilled...) even though I don't realize it?

Anyway, this has now carried over into my starcraft playing. I get the exact same, uncomfortable feeling. Why am I so insecure about playing an anonymous game online when I am so relaxed and confident otherwise? And like I said, once the game starts, the feeling goes away almost immediately.

Maybe it's stress? Maybe I'm stressed out, feeling I have to perform well (and starcraft is a very demanding game). But then, why? Nobody cares if I win or not, including me, I LAUGH when I lose a game that I came very close to winning.

Why can't I just PLAY!?

**
Excuse me hun, but what is your name? Vivian? I woke up next to you naked and, uh, did we, um?
Folca
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
2235 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-01-25 02:16:01
January 25 2009 02:14 GMT
#2
You have to defeat yourself in the mind games, thats all I can help you with
Calm down, start being apathetic about playing, maybe that could help you some bit
GL
:edit:
You know, I had the same problem too, losing to other people, especially my friends, and they obviously dont help, ending their games with like "pwned, owned, or wtf you suck" and im like, ok whatever, but in my head im like, dude fuck you piece of shit blah blah blah...
But really, its all about controlling your mind and starting to learn to just get over it, you won't go pro, play for fun ffs
Yeah its really annoying when other people won't help you at all, but whatever eh?
Dea : one time when he was playing vs the comps he asked me "how do I make that flying unit that makes the other stuff invisible" and I reply "ur playing terran zomg"
renegade_zerg
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
Korea (South)525 Posts
January 25 2009 02:19 GMT
#3
Have some confidence in yourself. We all lose games from time to time, but try and improving from those games.
Zapdos_Smithh
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
Canada2620 Posts
January 25 2009 02:29 GMT
#4
Haha you remind me so much of myself.

If I don't feel like playing pubs on iccup, I'll just play w/friends or do micro tourneys or w/e. Eventually I will get the feeling to play pubs so I will do it then. I find forcing myself just isn't as fun.
paper
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
13196 Posts
January 25 2009 02:31 GMT
#5
stop giving a shit and DO
Hates Fun🤔
Plexa
Profile Blog Joined October 2005
Aotearoa39261 Posts
January 25 2009 02:48 GMT
#6
Stop iCCup'ing, get some friends on SC, and have a blast!!
Playing with friends is so much more fun that fucking around on icc
Administrator~ Spirit will set you free ~
3clipse
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
Canada2555 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-01-25 02:57:45
January 25 2009 02:56 GMT
#7
I get the same feeling as well when I play on iccup. I know I love to play but starting games on iccup is just painful for some reason. I think it's because I know that those games will count towards my record and it makes me nervous. Much more fun to just play on bnet or with friends sometimes. I've found a good way to beat that is to just get the ball rolling so you have that inertia. Once you play one game it's a lot easier to play a second. And it's even easier to play a third. Just try to get yourself on a roll and playing iccup will become normal and automatic. I usually don't play often but when I did that I got 15 games in in one day and time just flew by.
emperorchampion
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada9496 Posts
January 25 2009 02:59 GMT
#8
obsing is da bomb
TRUEESPORTS || your days as a respected member of team liquid are over
BanZu
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States3329 Posts
January 25 2009 03:13 GMT
#9
Pretty much sums up how I felt too.

Got over it by playing only when I'm pumped up and ready to go. Otherwise, I play with friends 1v1 or 3v3
Sun Tzu once said, "Defiler becomes useless at the presences of a vessel."
IPS.ZeRo
Profile Joined April 2003
Germany1142 Posts
January 25 2009 03:20 GMT
#10
I kinda know that. I mostly don't play because i just don't have time, but right now instead of surfing around i could have made one or two games.
Although i don't really care about my stats i still don't want to play when i am drunk/totally tired or don't have a good keyboard/mouse at hand.
Since those conditions make up quite some time of my free time i play way less than i could i i would really force myself to play. Don't know why i can't do it.
aka DTF-ZeRo
-orb-
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States5770 Posts
January 25 2009 03:23 GMT
#11
That's so weird, I have the opposite.

I have cravings to play, and then after playing a couple games I get raged and stop lol.
'life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery'
how sad that sc2 has no shield battery :(
TheYango
Profile Joined September 2008
United States47024 Posts
January 25 2009 03:37 GMT
#12
On January 25 2009 11:48 Plexa wrote:
Stop iCCup'ing, get some friends on SC, and have a blast!!
Playing with friends is so much more fun that fucking around on icc

This.

I find in general I feel more comfortable playing with friends. I don't get worked up over losses, we have good laughs when we try screwed up stuff, and often, they're better at picking out my mistakes than I am.
Moderator
MeriaDoKk
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
Chile1726 Posts
January 25 2009 03:42 GMT
#13
On January 25 2009 11:31 paper wrote:
stop giving a shit and DOTA

x89titan
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
Philippines1130 Posts
January 25 2009 03:56 GMT
#14
i think ur just scared of losing after putting so much time into that one game only to lose. games take from 5 mins to 20,30, and even 60 mins at times. i know how u feel. i played 5 games a day and joined a clan to get out of that mentality and start playing for real. u could play obs games without the game counting against ur record if thats what ur afraid of. and when ur playing with friends, the game starts becoming fun again.
Heaven came down and glory filled my soul, when at the cross the Savior made me whole
Cloud
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
Sexico5880 Posts
January 25 2009 04:12 GMT
#15
Whatever dude, either play or dont play at all. Middle terms are for losers.
BlueLaguna on West, msg for game.
Mannequin
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Canada131 Posts
January 25 2009 04:15 GMT
#16
Yeah same with me sometimes, play on B.net and skrew around untill you don't get nervous just when your in the game just say to yourself who the hell gives a crap if i win or not im on B.net i don't care and if your afraid of loosing on iccup make a noob account to practise on so you don't get all the loses on your main one.
And try to find a mate or two to just practise with, You can find somone on TL.net that will play with ya for fun and you can find somone your level not everyone is good on TL Im not very good .
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
alphafuzard
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
United States1610 Posts
January 25 2009 05:08 GMT
#17
4 pool your brain
more weight
thedeadhaji *
Profile Blog Joined January 2006
39489 Posts
January 25 2009 05:23 GMT
#18
um Cloud, as far as I can tell from reading your posts and OneOther's posts earlier in this thread, O.Other is simply saying that "rushing corsair asap still will not give you the information that he is going 2 hatch hydra, in time for you to make adjustments in survive - thus while you should be getting a corsair, you cannot depend solely on it to rescue you from your uncertain position, thus other measures must be taken in combination."

I do believe you're misinterpreting what he meant with his reply.
paper
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
13196 Posts
January 25 2009 05:28 GMT
#19
On January 25 2009 12:42 MeriaDoKk wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 25 2009 11:31 paper wrote:
stop giving a shit and DOTA



o shi-
Hates Fun🤔
EsX_Raptor
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States2801 Posts
January 25 2009 05:32 GMT
#20
I was an exact duplicate of you a year ago.

I was always nervous about the games though when I played them I had a crapload of fun.

But when it was time to go re, I was like I just didn't want or something because I thought that then my reputation would go down the drain if I lost the game.

It goes away with time, if you face the fear ofc.
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