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On January 21 2009 03:34 intoyourrainbOW wrote:Show nested quote +On January 21 2009 02:24 Chill wrote:
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When this was going on you weren't holding your girlfriend back and trying to calm her down? Or leaving? Seriously. Throwing a shoebox at an old lady? (seriously NOT cool) Breaking a closet? Throwing weights into walls? Your gf has issues. But are you really 20? It seems like you didn't do anything but stand back and watch like a pussy. Dude, grow some balls. And why mention her parents are "supper ultra" Christians, like that has ANY relavence to what happened? Keep that kind of bullshit to yourself plz.
Actually the SUPER nutbag christians are ridiculous in circumstances like these. We're talking nutbags, not the regular people. If they are nuts about something like christianity, it gives you an idea of how nuts they can be in a situation like this. Why anyone is taking offense I dont understand at all.
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I would have left at the minute they told me to leave their house. I don't care if it's fair, if it's stupid, if they are retarded. If someone tells me to leave their house, I leave.
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On January 21 2009 05:31 Sadist wrote:Show nested quote +On January 21 2009 03:34 intoyourrainbOW wrote:On January 21 2009 02:24 Chill wrote:
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When this was going on you weren't holding your girlfriend back and trying to calm her down? Or leaving? Seriously. Throwing a shoebox at an old lady? (seriously NOT cool) Breaking a closet? Throwing weights into walls? Your gf has issues. But are you really 20? It seems like you didn't do anything but stand back and watch like a pussy. Dude, grow some balls. And why mention her parents are "supper ultra" Christians, like that has ANY relavence to what happened? Keep that kind of bullshit to yourself plz. Actually the SUPER nutbag christians are ridiculous in circumstances like these. We're talking nutbags, not the regular people. If they are nuts about something like christianity, it gives you an idea of how nuts they can be in a situation like this. Why anyone is taking offense I dont understand at all.
I second that statement, but I admit that might be my prejudices (and bad experience) talking. Oh wait a second, I guess that's perfectly fine 
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Those are the extremists, they aren't truly Christian, they just make an image of God in their minds (God's infinite, thus I don't think you can) and follow it as it is, they are literally worshipping a graven image, just that it isn't physical, this leads to hate and anger and that's why many of them try to control other christians using bible references and taking them out of context for their own benefit and/or preaching doom to them.
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On January 21 2009 05:37 EsX_Raptor wrote:
Those are the extremists, they aren't truly Christian, they just make an image of God in their minds (God's infinite, thus I don't think you can) and follow it as it is, they are literally worshipping a graven image, just that it isn't physical, this leads to hate and anger and that's why many of them try to control other christians using bible references and taking them out of context for their own benefit and/or preaching doom to them.
Uhmmm you realize that the OP's definition of "super ultra christians" can be pretty much anything right?
And it's still irrelevant if you look at how this whole thing started, and escalated because the OP was being passive agressive by staying and letting his girlfriend spazz out while sitting there.
I don't see why people who believe in god differently are less deserving of respect, they don't seem to be hurting anyone.
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I just want to know, if possible, for what reason did the uncle start this all of this issue? Was it because there was some guy locked in a room with the girl at almost midnight?
The OP does a poor job on describing what "acting like he is her dad" means, did he do it calmly? Did he do it in a mood like " alrite mate, it's getting a little bit late and my daughter/whatever has to go to sleep already, you guys can meet tomorrow nevertheless" or did he do it like "<putGirlsNameHere>! It is fucking late tell this prick to get the hell out of my house NOW!!!"
Comments?
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You could've used this opportunity to completely suck up to them by acting the nice guy... Like people have said before, you should've sweetly said good bye to your girlfriend, telling her that you don't want to cause more trouble (after calming her down), then leave. Now it'll be really hard to get on their good side..
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Just buy them some cupcakes or bring her mother some flowers, or whatever you want.
This helps!
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Her parents sound gay, sounds like a good idea that you guys are moving in together. They don't really deserve her company anyway, though I have no doubts about them starting to miss her like mad soon enough.
And with "gay" I mean that they have no buisness meddling with whom she's together with or in general ordering her around like a child. Well they could I guess, but in that case they may as well spend their retirement alone, without meeting their grandchildren.
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On January 21 2009 04:56 Chromyne wrote:
I have to disagree. The daughter is living in a house that is not her own, the owners obviously tolerate her enough to let her stay in a place she's not paying for. And they are not "deciding about her life." They are giving her rules that she must abide by as long as she is under their roof. They should have kicked her out long ago, because she obviously does not need their housing or food (if she did, she does not seem grateful in the slightest).
The owners? Tolerate her enough to let her stay in the house? That comes from a part of the world where the respect for family is valued?:-)
Trust me, in my part of the world the respect for family is valued and, actually I don't think there's any part of the world where the family is not important.
The thing is, she did nothing out of the box, before they were disturbed, to say that she had to be tolerated somehow. I mean, they did nothing special to disturb somehow the other members of the house. So, why would mister uncle play a daddy role there? Because he is paying for the house?? Well, maybe she would better go and hook with some millionaire in this case, respecting his rules, instead of family rules. That's what a family is supposed to be? To remind her, how she has to respect some non-sense family rules, because is not paying anything? If there are some family rules, she has to understand those rules first, and agree with them, as part of the family.
The whole family thing is based on good willing and tolerance. Not on some stupid rules, that says do this because this is my house and I pay for this. Yes, it is possible that there were some other issues between them before this all happened, but the thing that they had to make this scene when our hero was there, tells me that her parents have something with her personal life.
And, yes I agree that the whole children-parents thing is complicated, but she's not a child anymore. And this means there are some principles that have to be respected.
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your gf sounds a bit pycho to be honest...
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On January 21 2009 05:56 arbiter_md wrote:Show nested quote +On January 21 2009 04:56 Chromyne wrote:
I have to disagree. The daughter is living in a house that is not her own, the owners obviously tolerate her enough to let her stay in a place she's not paying for. And they are not "deciding about her life." They are giving her rules that she must abide by as long as she is under their roof. They should have kicked her out long ago, because she obviously does not need their housing or food (if she did, she does not seem grateful in the slightest).
The thing is, she did nothing out of the box, before they were disturbed, to say that she had to be tolerated somehow. I mean, they did nothing special to disturb somehow the other members of the house.
All irrelevant. She did not have to antagonized the uncle or do something wrong. He just said that he wanted him out of the house by 11 PM. From the OP, the request seemed completely benign (or at least void of hostility) and the girlfriend's comments sounded more hostile.
So, why would mister uncle play a daddy role there? Because he is paying for the house?? Well, maybe she would better go and hook with some millionaire in this case, respecting his rules, instead of family rules.
I'm not quite sure what the OP means by being like her father (no explanation was given), so I'm just going to say this: He doesn't have to be her father to say what he said. He is the caretaker of the house, and he is saying he wants the boyfriend out by 11 PM.
That's what a family is supposed to be? To remind her, how she has to respect some non-sense family rules, because is not paying anything? If there are some family rules, she has to understand those rules first, and agree with them, as part of the family.
The whole family thing is based on good willing and tolerance. Not on some stupid rules, that says do this because this is my house and I pay for this. Yes, it is possible that there were some other issues between them before this all happened, but the thing that they had to make this scene when our hero was there, tells me that her parents have something with her personal life.
This is under the assumption that the rules are actually stupid. The uncle can have his reasons, and we may never know what they are. Even if they ARE deemed as stupid, it is a relative. He could have said, "your boyfriend must be out by 4 AM," and that STILL could have been deemed as stupid. The point is not whether rules are stupid or not. Children usually think their parents' rules are "stupid" but they usually have merit.
And, yes I agree that the whole children-parents thing is complicated, but she's not a child anymore. And this means there are some principles that have to be respected.
Some principles but not other (I'm making assumptions about what you consider principles)? The daughter wants to be able to make decisions for herself (whether she can have other people in her room and how long, in this case). She wants independence. If she wants that, she needs to get out of that house and into her own home.
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u r fucking stupid for not leaving and just standing there like an idiot while ur gf made an ass out of herself
who the hell throws a shoebox at a grandmother and breaks a fucking closet just cuz her uncle (who is financially supporting her) tells her bf to leave the house b4 midnight?
sounds like both u and ur gf are douchebags
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On January 21 2009 06:20 Chromyne wrote:
Some principles but not other (I'm making assumptions about what you consider principles)? The daughter wants to be able to make decisions for herself (whether she can have other people in her room and how long, in this case). She wants independence. If she wants that, she needs to get out of that house and into her own home.
And if you read the Op you would have realized that's exactly what she is doing.
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wow Chromyne by that logic, her parents are even the owners of her fuckin life. Just because they own the damn place doesn't mean that they can dictate their own morals and values. Just because her parents technically own that place, doesn't mean they can enforce whatever silly rules and values they think of upon her. It doesn't mean she has to buckle down and swallow everything. I think its completely justified to stand up for your own believes, breaking of closets and punching holes in the wall is probably not the best way to do it I admit that much. But still, the fact remains that your argument is ridiculous.
The only valid point you made is that indeed her parents can kick her out. If they think its justified to kick her out for having male visitors past 10 pm at age 20 they can do so. I just don't think deep down in their heart they are really THAT extreme. And if they are, I think its still the better choice cus even if you move out you still gonna have to choose between buckling down every single time or end the relation to your parents. And in case they would be that extreme, I think almost all people who value their individual freedom would have rather ended the relation than endure them till they die.
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On January 21 2009 05:35 Naib wrote:Show nested quote +On January 21 2009 05:31 Sadist wrote:On January 21 2009 03:34 intoyourrainbOW wrote:On January 21 2009 02:24 Chill wrote:
?
When this was going on you weren't holding your girlfriend back and trying to calm her down? Or leaving? Seriously. Throwing a shoebox at an old lady? (seriously NOT cool) Breaking a closet? Throwing weights into walls? Your gf has issues. But are you really 20? It seems like you didn't do anything but stand back and watch like a pussy. Dude, grow some balls. And why mention her parents are "supper ultra" Christians, like that has ANY relavence to what happened? Keep that kind of bullshit to yourself plz. Actually the SUPER nutbag christians are ridiculous in circumstances like these. We're talking nutbags, not the regular people. If they are nuts about something like christianity, it gives you an idea of how nuts they can be in a situation like this. Why anyone is taking offense I dont understand at all. I second that statement, but I admit that might be my prejudices (and bad experience) talking. Oh wait a second, I guess that's perfectly fine
sorry I guess i cant be prejudiced against a group of fanatics who believe in a space god.
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On January 21 2009 06:34 KlaCkoN wrote:Show nested quote +On January 21 2009 06:20 Chromyne wrote:
Some principles but not other (I'm making assumptions about what you consider principles)? The daughter wants to be able to make decisions for herself (whether she can have other people in her room and how long, in this case). She wants independence. If she wants that, she needs to get out of that house and into her own home.
And if you read the Op you would have realized that's exactly what she is doing.
I have read the OP, but I am discussing the principle behind it with arbiter_md. I am glad she is moving out. She should have done that a long time ago if she felt that stifled.
On January 21 2009 06:35 damenmofa wrote:
wow Chromyne by that logic, her parents are even the owners of her fuckin life.
Please show me where my posts indicate or imply that the parents own her life.
Just because they own the damn place doesn't mean that they can dictate their own morals and values. Just because her parents technically own that place, doesn't mean they can enforce whatever silly rules and values they think of upon her.
Of course it does. Of course they can determine the rules and values of the house. It is just plain
foolish to think otherwise. And why does everyone think the rules are "silly" or "stupid?" The next time you see a parent telling their child to not kick their brother or take toys from others that do not belong to them, tell them that they are not allowed enforce silly rules and values on their children. This case is even MORE insignificant. The uncle wants the boyfriend out of the house by 11 PM.
It doesn't mean she has to buckle down and swallow everything. I think its completely justified to stand up for your own believes, breaking of closets and punching holes in the wall is probably not the best way to do it I admit that much. But still, the fact remains that your argument is ridiculous.
You are absolutely right, and I never said she did. I said she had to respect the mother or uncle's decision. She can tell him she does not agree, and maybe they could have a DISCUSSION about it, but she chose an argument over a discussion.
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Calgary26004 Posts
LOL I JUST REALIZED WHO YOU ARE
oh god it makes sense now
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Belgium6787 Posts
ooo okay nevermind what i said lol
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EPT
