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Part of a long (and everlasting!) series. Others here
Edit: if you stumbled across this looking for information on teaching English in Korea, look here for a guide
My holiday finally starts tomorrow. I taught my last lesson for this term today so I thought this would be a good time to bitch talk about my teaching job. Whilst teaching is easily the worst part of my life in Korea, please don't take my rantings here hating about everything Korea... I still love it here overall.^^
(k, I just read through all this crap again, there is an awful lot of ranting here, so if you'd rather skip the shit, just skim down to 'Anecdotes' near the bottom. It's not the most entertaining rant I admit sorry, but these blogs are like my diary here so I prefer to just put as much of my thoughts as poss).
Wow... snow makes everything look nice
Background - 'Oh, lucky me'
I teach at an all-boys high school in a relatively poor area of Northern Seoul. I didn't pick the school/location... in fact the first time I heard about where the fuck I was going to spend most of my year here was in the taxi ride from the airport. (That's just how the system works for Seoul public school schools. One huge, ugly lottery. Completely necessary though, because most sane people will never agree to teach in some schools.)
My school has a great history which it desperately tries to cling on to. It used to be one of the best, with many of its leavers heading to top Korean universities and from there, to prestigious positions in Seoul's political elite. Now though, frankly? It's a big shithole. That's not me judging by the way. Having never taught before in my life, let alone in Korea, it's impossible for me to compare. But on my first day here, my Korean co-teachers told me in no uncertain terms that the school ranks one of the lowest not just in the district, but in the whole of Seoul.
The fucking Su-neung
With that in mind, I really don't think I'm a bad teacher. I probably am... lol ..but I do try... No doubt, some of you will see these paragraphs as a convenient excuse for me to stop caring about teaching as much as I should. But, if you have no experience of teaching in a Korean public school, pleaseee don't start blabbering your bs 
In Korea, there is one set of overwhelmingly important exams called the Su-neung/수능. When I say important, I mean reallly fucking important. You all know how competitive Asian jobmarkets are and Korea is no exception. Employers here put a shit tonne of emphasis on academic qualifications, which basically means which university you went to. The Su-neung is the national exam that pretty much decides this. Good Su-neung score = good university = good life. Shit Su-neung = shit university = jump underneath the next subway train plz. High school and Korean high school life is basically therefore all about preparing for the this test.
+ Show Spoiler [Semi-tangent on Korean High School Life] +
I read in some other thread, an ignorant soul was commentating about how Flash was missing out on high school which 'should be the best years of his life.' This is one of the funniest pieces of misinformed bullshit I have read. In Korea, high school is probably the worst time of your life. Why? Because of the fucking Su-neung of course! Even in my sorry-ass-of-a-school, more than half of my students attend private tuition classes outside of class time. Normal school is 8am -> 4pm. Private classes then commence at ~6pm and lasts until ~10pm. OH? Did I mention school is six days a week here? So they are studying pretty much 8am->10pm 6 days a week and Sunday inevitably involves more study. Yes. I pity them too.
So how does all this Su-neung shit affect public school English teachers in Korea then? Well, we are all hired by the Ministry of Education to teach spoken English to students. This is naturally the same Ministry that is in charge of the Su-neung and who most importantly also thinks it is fine to have NO spoken English exam in the Su-neung. Retarded contradictory policies ftw.
So, imagine you're a Korean high school student. Your parents have been making you shit bricks about the Su-neung since you were in middle school. You need those precious points in all those subjects so that you aren't deemed a miserable failure for not getting into a Seoul university. You are really fucking tired every day from studying nonstop. All those goddamn classes can give valuable Su-neung points.... apart from of course... yep, you guessed it! Spoken English class!
Add this background to how enthusiastic you were about learning a second language at school, give it a good shake...and you get my typical class.
Tuckshop is closest building on right. After that, it's the student cafeteria and after that the staff cafeteria. I feel for the students as I sometimes wonder if the stuff we get is even food.
My typical class
40 students. I wish that was a typo, but it isn't, forty. It's okay though! 1/3 of the students are sleeping. (Some of them on pillows they brought in just for this purpose lol). Another 1/3 are completely disengaged. They are most likely doing work for another class, gazing out the window or running their hand through the hair of their sleeping neighbour in that very unsettling gay way that's actually not gay at all for Asian students.
This is the point where the teaching-prodigies among you will stand up and loudly proclaim that I should be engaging them!! Make it fun! Do some activities! Get their attention!! All I can say is 'you really don't think I've tried?' followed by some slightly hysterical laughter and a 'kindly shut the F up please'.
So anyway, normally in my class, I reckon on a good day, 1/3 of the students MAX will be actively participating and learning. With these students, it actually feels good (and sometimes even great!1) to teach. Let's not talk about the bad days. lol.
The good stuff
Yes I know! There is actually a sliver of positivity in this blog!!1
Accommodation. As part of the deal, the school provides it for me. So I live around 2mins walk from it (which is aweesome for those ohmy-whatthefuck-i-overslept mornings) and avoiding the clusterfuck that is the Seoul Metro in the morning. I'm also ~5mins walk from two subway lines too which is nice. Like any metropolis, the distance of your home from the subway is directly proportional to your overall happiness and sperm count.
Being a bit of a celebrity. At least in the first month anyway. Whilst most Seoulites see a few foreigners here and there, most rarely talk to any. The school I'm at has never had a native teacher before and its in an area with very few foreigners. So when I first got here, I had lots of co-teachers and students trying to talk to me. In the first classes with my students, they gave me a roaring round of applause at the beginning and end of the lesson. That was fucking weird, let me tell you. Thankfully, my stardom died away before it got annoying.
"Handsome guy". Koreans like to compliment people on their looks. Its just part of their culture. So early on, I had to do a fair bit of ego-management, as I got compliments every other day from the principal, vice-principals (all male?!), co-teachers (mainly the females) and students (all male... lol). I'm no yellow Brad Pitt, I don't get it. Maybe it was a big game to embarass the foreigner, no idea.. but hey.. can't say I didn't enjoy it.^^
Middle-aged (30-40s) milfs trying to flirt with me. I'm no "baller", far from it. Think of your typical Asian nerd and you're much closer to the truth. Yet a few of my co-teachers seem to be out for a quick tease whenever they see me. Kind of funny in hindsight but actually pretty scary when it happens in full view of other teachers.
Cell block Thre-.. I mean... Building Three of the Juvenile Prison Compl-- ah fuck...
Some anecdotes
Here's some hopefully interesting stories from my teaching:
1.
In an earlier blog, I mentioned how the Vice-Principal mistook me for a student. It happened again lol. This time it was a new person the school had hired to be a Displinary Officer. Now, it's this guy's sole job to make sure students abide by the rules. So fittingly, he has the face and personality of a pissed off bulldog. Every morning, he will stand on the ramp leading up to the school and inspect student's clothes, hair style and general attire. Anything out of line, and they'll be feeling some good ole' corporal punishment + 50 push-ups on the freezing concrete.
I dress casually to teach btw, like the other K teachers. I am however at least 10 years younger than the average teacher. So, I'm innocently walking up the ramp one day, wondering what horrors await me inside the classroom. Then I hear a loud, "YA!!"(야!). I turn round to see bulldog's face literally bulging. He probably doesn't know where to start. I'm wearing JEANS, what the fuck?!? and no school jumper or shirt???!!!! And my hair.. dear god, it's motherfucking SPIKY!
By the way, saying YA!! in a loud way is incredibly fucking rude to someone who isn't a kid. So a tad peeved but understanding what had happened, I just calmly turned around and looked him in the eye for a second or two. He must have thought I was the cockiest piece of shit on the planet. He came striding over to me while I was still piecing together my Korean response but (luckily for me probably), the Vice-Principal came out of nowhere and intercepted him. Some hurried Korean and a look of disbelief later, bulldog gave me a low bow and a sorry. I felt a bit bad for him as the students (who obv know me as a teacher) around us were crying with laughter.
2.
I was told to teach on the second day I arrived in Korea. This travesty was probably because I arrived too late to start teaching on Day 1 lol. Whilst obviously having zero preparation, I was bundled into my first class to 'introduce myself' for an hour. Well, unfortunately I have too few small capitalized letters after my name to talk about my accomplishments for an hour...so naturally the focus shifted onto other things...
LIKE SC! This got their attention alright. Virtually all high school students still love SC (heart-warming to know). I didn't really know what to talk about at first. But soon I was having the class chant Boxer, The Emperor, Maestro and The Revolutionist for 'pronounciation practice' (no joke I swear). As well as a convenient filler for that lesson, this also helped me become the cool teacher. Damn Right.
3.
One lesson I prepared was on the subject of health. Lots of students smoke in this school and of course, they always do it in the toilets. Sometimes when I walk past, it smells like a fucking bonfire in there trust me. So to make this lesson more interesting, I wrote a dialogue for them to practice in class. The first part involved Andy and his friend Peter who were, believe or not(!), also high school students. Andy chain-smoked in the boy's toilet whilst Peter did not. The second part was when they had grown up. Long story short, Andy got lung cancer and died young whilst Peter was rich, healthy and married to a blond supermodel. Subliminal messages ftw.
During one of these lessons (I repeat the same shit 16 times a week), I asked jokingly which students smoked in the class. There was some hushed whispering in the room for about five seconds as no one spoke. Then suddenly, one kid who I previously thought was sleeping, stands up at the back, proudly points to his neighbour and proclaims, 'Teacher! Teacher! He smokes many muchy!! HIS LUNG ARE BLACK!!'
LOL! I almost collapsed from laughter (not before praising him on his English of course).
Okay. I have some more stories but I just realised how obese this entry is already. I'll save them for later! Different topic next time though..
Thanks for reading again~ <3
 
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MrHoon
10183 Posts
Everyday I come to blog forum, I see if Elric and DJetterstyle has a new post up
Love reading your blog! Seems like you're enjoying your job :D
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Katowice25012 Posts
A friend of mine teaches in korea and still thinks he is hot shit because ugly 30 something teachers at his school give him compliments, good to see I was correct to suspect it happens to everyone.
Good blog!
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Belgium9945 Posts
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Cheers MrHoon. Means a lot !<3
heyoka, you're right. I've heard white teachers get it a wholllle lot more. Basically, if you didn't hit every branch on the ugly tree on the way down, you WILL get the 'ohh Mr XXX so handsome'.
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Belgium6765 Posts
How could you not hit on the milfs man
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Teacher! Teacher! He smokes many muchy!! HIS LUNG ARE BLACK!!'
But soon I was having the class chant Boxer, The Emperor, Maestro and The Revolutionist
lol :D
gjgj I want more!
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Calgary25969 Posts
아이므 젤러스! (seriously, typing korenglish is my favourite thing in the word)
Keep it up, reading these are awesome. Also, are you studying Korean while you are there or are you just kind of absorbing it?
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Haha, yeah holiday!! Go Elric!
dude we still need to go out for a drink, its been a while, I've been sooooo busy lately it's my bad
wanna go hit up some SC live matches someday soon? Maybe we can LAN it up after
I have a lot of stories to tell, I'm sure you do too : )
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Hong Kong20321 Posts
HAAHHAAH OMG that sounds so fun ilooooooool
i taught english to local hk school students for volunteer work time ttoo and it was sUCH A BITCHHH ahhahaha
awesome that they still all love SC though :D:D;
KEEP UP THE BLOGSSS
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Do you get a number of students per hour/s? Or do you teach the same 40 students for the whole 8 hours? Good read...
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Still keeping up and enjoying every entry.
This is the type of stuff I really like to read about from foreigners. Not the usual depressing crap we get. And it means more coming from someone who's actually making a living/working with Korean people. Stay warm man!
Also about the korean teacher thing, you probably know this by now but its just a cultural thing to give compliments that seem flirtacious. When I was teaching last summer like 6-8 of my elementary school students [ girls ] wrote me overly fancy love letters LOL. I felt kinda bad cuz I didn't write them anything. Not to mention compliments from co-teachers who always mentioned how young and good looking I was and how much of a good thing I was doing by teaching English in Korea.
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nice post, share more stories. its fun to read about. =)
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Andy chain-smoked in the boy's toilet whilst Peter did not. The second part was when they had grown up. Long story short, Andy got lung cancer and died young whilst Peter was rich, healthy and married to a blond supermodel. Subliminal messages ftw.
This is so funny
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lol what a great read, please keep writing. And gl with teaching
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Kennigit
Canada19447 Posts
hahah this is awesome :D morrreee please!
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On January 08 2009 01:35 KH1031 wrote:Show nested quote +Andy chain-smoked in the boy's toilet whilst Peter did not. The second part was when they had grown up. Long story short, Andy got lung cancer and died young whilst Peter was rich, healthy and married to a blond supermodel. Subliminal messages ftw. This is so funny
Not quite subliminal though.
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Very nice read, I like your writing style alot.
I'm sure they love you if you continue talking about sc =)
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Canada9720 Posts
haha, very well written. not a rant at all, i enjoyed it
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This is a very cool post. Really enjoyed it! Especially the tattle tale kid about smoking.. hahah. XD
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anecdote 3 is fucking hilarious hahaha
great blog, once again.
enjoy your break!
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seriously, this is really awesome! love the anecdotes. and knowing sc makes it all the better to "connect with the students"
whats it like being an asian (you're asian, right? i hope i remembered it correctly. if not im really sorry!) who speaks good english in korea?
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so, overall, do you like the job, or not at all?
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more please, had a really good laugh while reading this
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nice blog, you should move to a nicer part of Seoul tho ~ !
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ah this blog is beautiful.
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If you teach english and are a foreigner, there's a high possibility that Rekrul hates you.
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On January 08 2009 06:59 rkarhu wrote:
If you teach english and are a foreigner, there's a high possibility that Rekrul hates you.
aaannddd
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United States24612 Posts
I am glad you took the time to write that. Don't sell it short.
What is your accountability as a teacher? What are the expectations of you?
I really understand where you are coming from with a lot of the problems you have with your job. I have a lot of similar issues.
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Calgary25969 Posts
On January 08 2009 07:20 Dark_Luster wrote:
잘 읽었습니당~
Whats with that dang? im like "yea im getting this" and then suddently semnidaNG wtf
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
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haha really funny read! And interresting to know about the culture and habbits from koreans... thx!
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Hey nice blog, thanks
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3861 Posts
On January 08 2009 07:20 Dark_Luster wrote:
잘 읽었습니당~
A lot of koreans do that - at the ㅇ to the end of the last characters in a sentence.
instead of like 네 (for yes) they will type 넹 or 넵 or like 알았어요 = 알았어용
just a slang kinda thing that makes words sound cuter i guess
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On January 08 2009 07:46 Rekrul wrote:
잘 못읽었습니다시발년아
anyone know what that means?
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He basically came out the closet, professed his love for me and all things teaching.
Alternatively...
+ Show Spoiler +He said it wasn't a good read, and added 'fucking bitch' at the end for good measure
...lol
Thanks for all the responses guys. <3
@Chill: Yeah trying to study a little Korean as I go along. I attend evening language classes 3x a week. Learning by osmosis is a big myth sadly .
@Shloober: suree~~
@Kennelie: I teach ~20 hours a week (~4 hours a day). I have mainly first year classes which means 16 classes x 40 students = 640 students. I've done second year classes too.. so the number can be doubled... I went to a (mandatory) workshop on teaching methods recently and one guy suggested I should make an effort to learn all my students' names.... I let out a big 'HA!'.
@29fps: It is a bit strange as an English-speaking Asian in Korea. I get treated very differently from your typical white foreigner. It has its ups and downs but its fine. I will do a penetrating psycho-analytical study of all this soon.
@Luddite: Overall. I'd have to say no. Whilst I have met some fun K teachers, the actual teaching is pretty tedious. Added to this, the slightly backward administrative culture that prevails here and sometimes you can be quite frustrated. But then again, few jobs are great and its still a fantastic way to experience Korea for a year.
@micronesia... your question deserves a longer response.. No time now sorry, will post again later~~
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3861 Posts
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51385 Posts
needs more starcraft talk!
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On January 08 2009 11:21 lilsusie wrote:
elric, are you on msn?
Sry, I really got to run! 1hr late for appointment already lol. Catch you later~ You'll probably still be in the office when I come back ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Reposting this, so you guys don't miss it:
Thanks for all the responses guys. <3 @Chill: Yeah trying to study a little Korean as I go along. I attend evening language classes 3x a week. Learning by osmosis is a big myth sadly . @Shloober: suree~~ @Kennelie: I teach ~20 hours a week (~4 hours a day). I have mainly first year classes which means 16 classes x 40 students = 640 students. I've done second year classes too.. so the number can be doubled... I went to a (mandatory) workshop on teaching methods recently and one guy suggested I should make an effort to learn all my students' names.... I let out a big 'HA!'. @29fps: It is a bit strange as an English-speaking Asian in Korea. I get treated very differently from your typical white foreigner. It has its ups and downs but its fine. I will do a penetrating psycho-analytical study of all this soon. @Luddite: Overall. I'd have to say no. Whilst I have met some fun K teachers, the actual teaching is pretty tedious. Added to this, the slightly backward administrative culture that prevails here and sometimes you can be quite frustrated. But then again, few jobs are great and its still a fantastic way to experience Korea for a year. @micronesia... your question deserves a longer response.. No time now sorry, will post again later~~
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Calgary25969 Posts
On January 08 2009 11:04 spydernoob wrote:anyone know what that means?
I'm dumb so I can't tell for sure but it's one of the following:
"You can't read well you fucking bitch"
"Not a good read you fucking bitch"
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Physician
United States4146 Posts
On January 08 2009 07:46 Rekrul wrote:
잘 못읽었습니다시발년아
수박 겉 핥기
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3861 Posts
On January 08 2009 13:56 Chill wrote:Show nested quote +On January 08 2009 11:04 spydernoob wrote:On January 08 2009 07:46 Rekrul wrote:
잘 못읽었습니다시발년아 anyone know what that means? I'm dumb so I can't tell for sure but it's one of the following: "You can't read well you fucking bitch" "Not a good read you fucking bitch"
"Not a good read you fucking bitch" --> that one
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On January 08 2009 15:04 lilsusie wrote:Show nested quote +On January 08 2009 13:56 Chill wrote:On January 08 2009 11:04 spydernoob wrote:On January 08 2009 07:46 Rekrul wrote:
잘 못읽었습니다시발년아 anyone know what that means? I'm dumb so I can't tell for sure but it's one of the following: "You can't read well you fucking bitch" "Not a good read you fucking bitch" "Not a good read you fucking bitch" --> that one
Because Dan just loves westies teaching english in Korea 
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
i think slut is a better translation for 시발년아
썅년아 would be whore
bitch is ... hmm..
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
On January 08 2009 14:59 Physician wrote:수박 겉 핥기
LOL WHAT?
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MrHoon
10183 Posts
On January 08 2009 14:59 Physician wrote:수박 겉 핥기
Lick the sides of a watermelon
????
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HAHAHAHA
That was so random
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thanks for the read.
we need moar.
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Calgary25969 Posts
On January 08 2009 23:14 MrHoon wrote:Show nested quote +On January 08 2009 14:59 Physician wrote:On January 08 2009 07:46 Rekrul wrote:
잘 못읽었습니다시발년아 수박 겉 핥기 Lick the sides of a watermelon ????
If you put this into Google translator it says it's "superficiality;shallowness"
Google translator also has like a 20% success rate Korean -> English it seems.
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My google translation said "sloppy"
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Physician
United States4146 Posts
On January 08 2009 20:58 Rekrul wrote:Show nested quote +On January 08 2009 14:59 Physician wrote:On January 08 2009 07:46 Rekrul wrote:
잘 못읽었습니다시발년아 수박 겉 핥기 LOL WHAT?
- if u judge ur reply/comment to his blog - in ur disdain for esl teachers u read his blog superficially and missed the interesting stuff.. i.e. it's like trying to comment on how a watermelon tastes by licking it's skin, and yes it is of course a twist on the meaning of a very old Korean proverb.. it's also used on people only concerned with the shallow things in life who miss the important stuff or confuse it for the important stuff..
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MrHoon
10183 Posts
On January 09 2009 02:02 Physician wrote:Show nested quote +On January 08 2009 20:58 Rekrul wrote:On January 08 2009 14:59 Physician wrote:On January 08 2009 07:46 Rekrul wrote:
잘 못읽었습니다시발년아 수박 겉 핥기 LOL WHAT? - if u judge ur reply/comment to his blog - in ur disdain for esl teachers u read his blog superficially and missed the interesting stuff.. i.e. it's like trying to comment on how a watermelon tastes by licking it's skin, and yes it is of course a twist on the meaning of a very old Korean proverb.. it's also used on people only concerned with the shallow things in life who miss the important stuff or confuse it for the important stuff..
I don't know why but I think this is the funniest thing I've read this week
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
On January 09 2009 02:02 Physician wrote:Show nested quote +On January 08 2009 20:58 Rekrul wrote:On January 08 2009 14:59 Physician wrote:On January 08 2009 07:46 Rekrul wrote:
잘 못읽었습니다시발년아 수박 겉 핥기 LOL WHAT? - if u judge ur reply/comment to his blog - in ur disdain for esl teachers u read his blog superficially and missed the interesting stuff.. i.e. it's like trying to comment on how a watermelon tastes by licking it's skin, and yes it is of course a twist on the meaning of a very old Korean proverb.. it's also used on people only concerned with the shallow things in life who miss the important stuff or confuse it for the important stuff..
i just like to curse, it makes me happy
i didn't waste time reading his blog, because frankly, i know
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he just entertained a ton of people with an extremely thorough and well-written blog, and you have the balls to discourage him from doing it again? stop crying for attention please
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United States24612 Posts
I would still like to discuss what I mentioned earlier whenever you get the chance. Lemme know.
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lol, i love subliminal messages 
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I want to read muchy muchy.
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On January 09 2009 11:24 Psyqo wrote:
I want to read muchy muchy.
you mean many muchy =p
These stories are always an entertaining read. I wish I could read Korean though lol
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Awesome stuff!! Keep it coming.
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fucking awesome man ^_____^
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Elric nicesuuuu!
Since youre around high schoolers a lot Im guessing you hear a lot of korean slang. care to swim on that topic for a bit? Im oh so curious actually.
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United States3824 Posts
Rekrul will be over to comment about your taste in women I suppose.
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It's np, I'll tell him to go lick some fruit skins. (Physician, that was amazing lol)
mel_ee, I don't pick up too much Korean slang from them because I don't hang out with the students much outside of lesson time. I hear one word 6 billion times over though which is 씨빨/시발. Means fucker, fuck, etc. We gotta meet up again btw and abuse our foreignerness to get some free T shirts ^^
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T.T
lies, all lies!
there is no snow in korea :O
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An awesome blog - thanks for sharing! 
It's always been a dream to teach in Korea (I currently teach in SA), and I think this does actually make me want to go even more. Sounds amazing.
I'm on the 2nd page of your older posts now... :p Still looking for the guide on how to get a job there.
Please keep writing! And more pics!
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rofl 'Teacher! Teacher! He smokes many muchy!! HIS LUNG ARE BLACK!!'
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omg your awesome ^_^
koreans chanting boxer
take a video plz;;
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This is a great read. Please post more of these intriguing stories. Fascinating how strongly the life of a Korean is determined by this one test and the university he gets admitted to.
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
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We need pictures of those milfs.
asap
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ahahahhaa.
I'm definitely gonna apply to teach in Korea once I graduate. Too bad I'm Korean, though...it sounds like non-Koreans, and especially non-Asians get to have a lot more fun...ahahaha.
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You might wannt start wearing a gun so you can draw first if Rekrul sees you on the street.
Joke aside, this was a really good read cant wait to see more, good luck in Korea! Not a lame rant at all :D
edit: misspelled rekrul
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ROFL the ending ahahahaahahah
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
hey ELRIC
post your pic
do you want to get rekrowned? im coming back to seoul tomorrow and wanna flex a lil and show off to ppl
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Wow nice read. Especially about the high school students loving SC. Warmed my heart as well
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lmao great read, epic with the student snitching on the guy who smoked
+ Show Spoiler +
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EPT![[image loading]](http://img152.imageshack.us/img152/2489/dsc01060uz4.jpg)
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