It was close to midnight. I was at this party, tired, and just laying on the sofa, barely conscious. That is when I saw him... the most beautiful guy ever. His stare was piercing, much like the nail I accidentally stepped on last year which led to gangrene, which later led to getting my foot amputated. Anyhow, his hair was shaggy much like the carpet I own in my house, and god DAMN that is my favorite carpet. My dog always rubbed his ass on it, but that never kept me from wrapping myself inside it like I was in the pit of a sandwich.
Once again, sorry for getting off topic. He took a seat down next to me where he just gave me the most beautiful calf massage. No questions were asked, no words were exchanged, just a smooth clean calf massage. His warm hands pressing against my body were just so invigorating, I felt as if I could bust through my pants any second now.
But then all of a sudden he got a grimacing look. An EVIL look. He handcuffed me quickly behind my back, as I strangled. He then said in a hardcore voice, "Come with me bitch!" At this point I was pretty sure I was gonna die.
He took me up to the bathroom and held a gun to my head, making me face the opposite direction. Many things were running through my mind, I didn't know what to do. He then places a cigarette and Jack Daniels in front of me, and says, "You will drink a shot of Jack Daniels and smoke that Cigarette or..." - Then he makes a clear noise of zipping down his pants and smacks my ass real hard. I was scared, shaking, I could barely even hold my posture. He pushed me down on my knees, and I was ready to save my anal virginity.
I take the shot of Jack Daniels, as he gropes my thighs. I scream, as the horrible Jack Daniels burns my throat, leaving an aftertaste of pure pain and disgust. What have I become? I'm underage! "I'm not doing the cigarette!" I screamed! He then grabbed my fly and tried to zip down my pants, still with the gun to my head.
"Okay... okay... I'll do it..." I replied to his horrible actions. I then grabbed the cigarette, crying in pain and distress. He lit it up for me as I took a huge inhale, coughing and hacking out a lung.
"Good... Good..." he said. "Now, I want you to scream out the window.. scream 'I'm a Man Now!'"
"Anything but that! No! I won't do it! For christ's sake!" My limbless body yelped.
He then started pulling my pants down violently. "Okay... I'll do it!" I sobbed. I was placed at the window and screamed "I am a Man Now!" and my whole perception of who I was is now replaced with someone else.
You see, no longer am I the quiet kid who was sitting on that sofa anymore. Oh no... I am more than that. I am a man now. I saved my life today with performing some horrible tasks, but now I can return home to my family, my mother, my father, my brother, my dog, in one piece. Not because I smoked a cigarette or alcohol. But because I did it for them. I knew they wanted to see me come home... and I did, I did this so now finally I can be reunited with my family.
As I walked out of the house from the party I saw some guy yell "Look at those fatasses!". I thought, how absurd is that! So then I took the gun in my pocket, grabbed a shot of Jack Daniels and a cigarette, and took that mother fucker to the bathroom and getting ready to rump that boy.
If you wake up next to girl you don't know, chances are she ain't that perty :O
Being a man is being responsible, providing, and maintaining dignity.
What this blog describes is generally referred to as "dipshit." About as manly as people who yell "Faggot!" from their moving car at people waiting at the bus stop. Great, loser.
what you just described is the complete opposite of being a man.
Sidenote it took you to 16 to smoke your first cigarrete and have your first taste of a shot?
I had my first cigarette when i was 14 and I smoked them for about a month then i was like hmm its not that great and gave up. I got off my face on new years for the last 3 in a row i think as well so that would make me...13 or just turned 14.
Well you are bragging about smoking one cigarette and having a shot of liquor. I know for a fact at least half of 14 year old girls smoke and drink regularly. I guess they're REALLY manly.
dude try getting drunk AND getting with a grl its a blast but u have to blog about tho
On August 17 2008 12:51 PsycHOTemplar wrote: What this blog describes is generally referred to as "dipshit." About as manly as people who yell "Faggot!" from their moving car at people waiting at the bus stop. Great, loser.
Of course the internets isn't an easy place to make translations - and not everyone has a sarcasm detector hooked up to the USB. But when I say "man" I do not literally mean I have ascended into adulthood and now take the responsibilities of what society depicts as a man model figure. Maybe my blog was misleading since the general consensus of the people reading it are taking it seriously.
Everyone has that "first" cigarette and alcohol drink in their lifetime. That is something most people remember, not because it is a good experience, or because it makes them "cool". It is just a transcending moment of time where you are being introduced and using substances or other paraphernalia that imprints the memory of stepping up from "Soda" to the "Beer". I can sit here and reminisce about my first Soda, when my parents finally decided I can try some delicious fizzy soft drink, and I absolutely hated it. Now I drink Soda everyday and love it.
I know this isn't a blog that people will give a real damn about, but it was important to me, as an experience. It seems like everyone is jumping into the scene of pseudo-rebellions who oppose rebellious behavior as a new "trend". Because the silly thing is I never said that these beverages or cigarettes are a sign of higher maturity, or give me a stature of "coolness".
But I really kind of assumed all this was common sense because typing a paragraph about a fun night is better than getting all technical when someone wants to bring the flames in.
You wouldn't be in this situation if you had taken your own advice before posting this blog.
So you mind on telling me what should be changed to make people realize my point? I was pretty vague, it was a paragraph of "I had my first cigarette and beer" in a summary.
People just took that and danced with it to create a "Faust thinks he is cool teenager because he uses booze." Maybe that is how some people interpreted it, but now that I reposted information pertaining to the subject and that is clearly not the case.
I wouldn't be in this situation either if people knew that I had common sense too, but I guess they are too arrogant to give me that. Kind of insulting to me actually.
But I really kind of assumed all this was common sense because typing a paragraph about a fun night is better than getting all technical when someone wants to bring the flames in.
Sorry. It's a cultural difference, because that just isn't a rite of passage to me. Enjoy your.. manhood.. I guess.
I wouldn't be in this situation either if people knew that I had common sense too, but I guess they are too arrogant to give me that. Kind of insulting to me actually.
People automatically became hostile when you talked about how cool it was that some guy heckled these fat people from within ear shot. Not because we have sympathy for the fat people, but because it's just a douchey thing to do.
But I really kind of assumed all this was common sense because typing a paragraph about a fun night is better than getting all technical when someone wants to bring the flames in.
Sorry. It's a cultural difference, because that just isn't a rite of passage to me. Enjoy your.. manhood.. I guess.
It was my fault I guess for posting something so misleading.
Usually when I post this stuff on other forums I don't get insulted right away, people have the respect and decency to ask why I did something if they felt it was wrong or unjust. But I don't think it was really a lack of indecent behavior, just a lack of maturity. Quoting posts that right after I explained myself shows they made a zero effort to even listen to me, and just want to pour gasoline in the fire.
You wouldn't be in this situation if you had taken your own advice before posting this blog.
So you mind on telling me what should be changed to make people realize my point? I was pretty vague, it was a paragraph of "I had my first cigarette and beer" in a summary.
That's just it, the blog could have gone in a different direction if the title was "I went to my first party" or something along those lines, as it currently stands it just appears as nothing but an ill informed view of manhood, regardless of your intentions.
On August 17 2008 13:41 PsycHOTemplar wrote: People automatically became hostile when you talked about how cool it was that some guy heckled these fat people from within ear shot. Not because we have sympathy for the fat people, but because it's just a douchey thing to do.
I never said it was cool.
I just mentioned that he was doing this. Then I said "The whole experience was a blast".
By the "whole experience" I didn't mean when John was making an ass out of overweight people, I just meant the party in general. I know that John being a jackass is irrelevant to my night, but I'm extremely exhausted and I was going to post how my whole night went even after my first cigarette + alcohol, because I met some great people and we ate some barbeque, but I started with John calling fat people fat and stopped there.
Although I can see how someone would misinterpret it, but that doesn't mean anyone should load up their catapult with elementary insults.
ive never had any alcohol or cigarettes in my life (both my parents are smokers, they told me from a young age NEVER to start and although they dont smoke as much as they used to, they still do everyday) but i dont think you are any more or any less cool than someone else who does or doesnt try it.
but hahaha heckling those fat chicks did sound funny. if you had been making fun of someone with that was mentally ill or something it would have been different, but laughing at fat bastards is ok by me since they choose to live unhealthy
On August 17 2008 12:51 PsycHOTemplar wrote: What this blog describes is generally referred to as "dipshit." About as manly as people who yell "Faggot!" from their moving car at people waiting at the bus stop. Great, loser.
Of course the internets isn't an easy place to make translations - and not everyone has a sarcasm detector hooked up to the USB. But when I say "man" I do not literally mean I have ascended into adulthood and now take the responsibilities of what society depicts as a man model figure. Maybe my blog was misleading since the general consensus of the people reading it are taking it seriously.
Everyone has that "first" cigarette and alcohol drink in their lifetime. That is something most people remember, not because it is a good experience, or because it makes them "cool". It is just a transcending moment of time where you are being introduced and using substances or other paraphernalia that imprints the memory of stepping up from "Soda" to the "Beer". I can sit here and reminisce about my first Soda, when my parents finally decided I can try some delicious fizzy soft drink, and I absolutely hated it. Now I drink Soda everyday and love it.
I know this isn't a blog that people will give a real damn about, but it was important to me, as an experience. It seems like everyone is jumping into the scene of pseudo-rebellions who oppose rebellious behavior as a new "trend". Because the silly thing is I never said that these beverages or cigarettes are a sign of higher maturity, or give me a stature of "coolness".
But I really kind of assumed all this was common sense because typing a paragraph about a fun night is better than getting all technical when someone wants to bring the flames in.
i buy what you're saying. and tbh, i don't mind drinking/smoking.
but your post still implies that being a dick is cool and acceptable. ya dude, i have a problem with that.
On August 17 2008 14:14 ahrara_ wrote: but your post still implies that being a dick is cool and acceptable. ya dude, i have a problem with that.
No, I never implied being a dick is cool and acceptable.
I said that some dude called fat people fat. I did not condone it. I did not agree with it. I did not think it was cool. I said the whole experience was great as a whole. I did not mean that some guy dicking it to overweight people was awesome and now I feel lewd and sexy as a rebellious teenager. I am not a sociable person but I had a great night with my cousins and people I haven't met before. It is a great feeling to go from staying inside all day watching Maury and dieing of boredom to meeting people, having someone to talk to, and trying new things.
That's just it, the blog could have gone in a different direction if the title was "I went to my first party" or something along those lines, as it currently stands it just appears as nothing but an ill informed view of manhood, regardless of your intentions.
Just because someone names a blog "I'm a Man Now", or anything else does not mean that they are writing it in a denotational form. People on the internet do not take everything they read as a literal translation. I know this is not Huckleberry Finn and we are not going to discuss the metaphors, symbolic meanings, and all the other literary devices found in that book. But people take everything they see on the internet with a grain of salt, and for good reason too. But when a blog is created that does not make literal sense, maybe people should take a hint it shouldn't be taken literally. I may be a consistent failure in English, but I realize that Machine does not literally mean that Dino has "X-Ray vision", as blatantly obvious as it is, just as I don't mean I'm literally a "man" now because of using a cigarette and alcohol.
Your post gives us the impression that it was fun doing stuff like this whereas everyone (almost) thinks otherwise. Those last two sentences didn't help.
wow chill the fuck out guys...he's just happy he finally got drunk and smoked a cig. meh i havent and wont smoke cigarettes, but hey you're first time drinking should be a memory
But that shouldn't be the case now that I've explained what I truly meant. Of course like I said though, if something seems to not make sense, then it is probably not something that can be translated literally.
Maybe my next blog should be about my adventures of when my mother was actually the tooth fairy and she turned me into a purple elephant so I could sail the seven seas to rescue my father who was actually from the planet Mars, where people are grown underground and maintained so they can breath fire through their ear holes so that we can end global warming.
Of course this blog isn't something that someone in 2nd grade can say "Oh, he doesn't literally mean he is now ascending into manhood!" Or "Oh, he now thinks that this night was a blast due to trying taboo substances!" But I always assumed Teamliquid's general consensus was a bit more mature than your average person.
Shouldn't be simply because Teamliquid's general consensus was a bit more mature than your average that you are getting the responses that you got? The responses before you explained yourself can only be attributed to the OP, the quality of which isn't spectacular. That naturally lowers the level of the following posts, as the higher maturity leads to a lack of respect of qualities displayed in the OP. Rather than questioning maturity, you are better off asking why people are so judgmental, as to that I have no idea, but the fact that this is in blogs section probably means people are going to a lot laxer in the kind of stuff they dish out here.
The replies after you have explained yourself simply points to the lack of reading beyond the OP, I think the facebook thread is a good enough demonstration of how common that is. As for how much sense the post made, it made just enough sense to be borderline of a serious reply.
EDIT - Oh, and if you could, do write a blog on that kind of topic, I do love reading others' creative writing~
What makes a man? The power between his legs? The ability to oil change a car? Taking responsibility for you pregnant girl? You become a man when you can't be any more manly.
On August 17 2008 13:49 SCC-Faust wrote: Although I can see how someone would misinterpret it, but that doesn't mean anyone should load up their catapult with elementary insults.
Save this post in a time capsule and give it maybe 3-5 years. Read it at that time, and you will suddenly understand why you're getting such a negative reaction.
People need to fucking take a chill pill, and stop being so serious.
He never said he was a dick, he just said he had a pretty good time, maybe at some fat chicks expense, but no less.
The only thing you missed was getting lucky with some hot chick who was completely out of your league, but did you cause those Bacardi shots do wonders.
I think I'd call that a coincidence. A man getting hit by an ambulance; That's ironic. A doctor who kills people; That's ironic. Seeing a Kate Beckinsale movie in the same day you read someone's post's with her pictures? That's a coincidence, unless there's something I'm missing (which is why I asked).
On August 17 2008 16:27 PsycHOTemplar wrote: I think I'd call that a coincidence. A man getting hit by an ambulance; That's ironic. A doctor who kills people; That's ironic. Seeing a Kate Beckinsale movie in the same day you read someone's post's with her pictures? That's a coincidence, unless there's something I'm missing (which is why I asked).
I disagree.
It is ironic, and stop posting fucking diet coke pics.
EDIT: I won't bump this topic, but I admit I'm wrong I thought ahrara posted that comment. It is ironic that a movie you enjoyed watching featuring an actress you like (presumably, who doesn't love Kate Beckinsale), is now in a thread with pictures of her holding something you dislike. MY BAD :D
On August 17 2008 16:27 PsycHOTemplar wrote: I think I'd call that a coincidence. A man getting hit by an ambulance; That's ironic. A doctor who kills people; That's ironic. Seeing a Kate Beckinsale movie in the same day you read someone's post's with her pictures? That's a coincidence, unless there's something I'm missing (which is why I asked).
I was like ... your a man because your hung out with losers who encouraged you to smoke at a young age ...You thought being cruel to people was awesome.... its not. I've been the asshole for most of my post high school days at parties ... its just not, you can actually really hurt people ....
Here were my golden rules from 15-18 that worked out pretty good socialy and personally.
Smoke pot don't drink .. Drunks are worthless, Potheads are funny(and worthless) Don't smoke ciggerettes unless running more then a block never sounds important to you, along with cancer, yellow teeth, yellow fingers, bad breath and stinky clothes. ( btw I smoke). Don't laugh at losers who make fun of other losers, sometimes being wild is cool, othertimes it makes you a prick.
And get laid and then feel like a man, not party.... partying is something even bitches do ^^;;
On August 18 2008 00:14 SCC-Faust wrote: I went through the most traumatic experience in my life and people are insulting me... I'm seriously crying right now. Did you guys even read the OP?
Faust lol!!! I think TL responders like to make people feel bad about themselves but apparently they missed the tone of your blog which was that it was a joke t.t
On August 18 2008 00:14 SCC-Faust wrote: I went through the most traumatic experience in my life and people are insulting me... I'm seriously crying right now. Did you guys even read the OP?
On August 18 2008 00:14 SCC-Faust wrote: I went through the most traumatic experience in my life and people are insulting me... I'm seriously crying right now. Did you guys even read the OP?
Rofl nice save.
The only saving I did was repeating myself as to why my original post was actually a hyperbole fifteen more times. I'm not an English teacher, so I think a decorative story sparkles the fancy of TL.net more than something that makes them think.
Lols @ people taking OP literally. You ruined it by trying to explain shit, and ruined it even more by editing OP. And Lols @ the viral marketing in this thread. Also, Lols @ me, but lols @ you.
On August 18 2008 06:36 ahrara_ wrote: lols @ people trying to call out other people's hypocrisy only after someone else had done it before them so they know it's safe
On August 17 2008 13:01 BalloonFight wrote: You definitely aren't a man yet, you're just 1 of a legion of teenagers thinking they are cool.
Yeah, sorry, I forgot to include the part where "I think I'm the shit now".
Totally forgot about that part of the night.
"Im a man now" is basically "I think I'm the shit now"
Are you being serious?
Also, I don't ban people from my blog because I respect all replies, opinions, and remarks, not matter how little you read in this topic. But you can't really give a valid response when you only read the original post, and totally missed the point of it.
EPT
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