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It was close to midnight. I was at this party, tired, and just laying on the sofa, barely conscious. That is when I saw him... the most beautiful guy ever. His stare was piercing, much like the nail I accidentally stepped on last year which led to gangrene, which later led to getting my foot amputated. Anyhow, his hair was shaggy much like the carpet I own in my house, and god DAMN that is my favorite carpet. My dog always rubbed his ass on it, but that never kept me from wrapping myself inside it like I was in the pit of a sandwich.
Once again, sorry for getting off topic. He took a seat down next to me where he just gave me the most beautiful calf massage. No questions were asked, no words were exchanged, just a smooth clean calf massage. His warm hands pressing against my body were just so invigorating, I felt as if I could bust through my pants any second now.
But then all of a sudden he got a grimacing look. An EVIL look. He handcuffed me quickly behind my back, as I strangled. He then said in a hardcore voice, "Come with me bitch!" At this point I was pretty sure I was gonna die.
He took me up to the bathroom and held a gun to my head, making me face the opposite direction. Many things were running through my mind, I didn't know what to do. He then places a cigarette and Jack Daniels in front of me, and says, "You will drink a shot of Jack Daniels and smoke that Cigarette or..." - Then he makes a clear noise of zipping down his pants and smacks my ass real hard. I was scared, shaking, I could barely even hold my posture. He pushed me down on my knees, and I was ready to save my anal virginity.
I take the shot of Jack Daniels, as he gropes my thighs. I scream, as the horrible Jack Daniels burns my throat, leaving an aftertaste of pure pain and disgust. What have I become? I'm underage! "I'm not doing the cigarette!" I screamed! He then grabbed my fly and tried to zip down my pants, still with the gun to my head.
"Okay... okay... I'll do it..." I replied to his horrible actions. I then grabbed the cigarette, crying in pain and distress. He lit it up for me as I took a huge inhale, coughing and hacking out a lung.
"Good... Good..." he said.
"Now, I want you to scream out the window.. scream 'I'm a Man Now!'"
"Anything but that! No! I won't do it! For christ's sake!" My limbless body yelped.
He then started pulling my pants down violently. "Okay... I'll do it!" I sobbed. I was placed at the window and screamed "I am a Man Now!" and my whole perception of who I was is now replaced with someone else.
You see, no longer am I the quiet kid who was sitting on that sofa anymore. Oh no... I am more than that. I am a man now. I saved my life today with performing some horrible tasks, but now I can return home to my family, my mother, my father, my brother, my dog, in one piece. Not because I smoked a cigarette or alcohol. But because I did it for them. I knew they wanted to see me come home... and I did, I did this so now finally I can be reunited with my family.
As I walked out of the house from the party I saw some guy yell "Look at those fatasses!". I thought, how absurd is that! So then I took the gun in my pocket, grabbed a shot of Jack Daniels and a cigarette, and took that mother fucker to the bathroom and getting ready to rump that boy.
 
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I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONE WHAT HAPPENED
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On August 17 2008 12:33 ahrara_ wrote:
Drinking and smoking and being a dick does not make you a man.
Thats for sure.
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On August 17 2008 12:33 ahrara_ wrote:
Drinking and smoking and being a dick does not make you a man.
It is only missing out the key part in waking up next to a girl you don't know, perhaps one can consider him 1/2 of what a man should be?
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If you wake up next to girl you don't know, chances are she ain't that perty :O
Being a man is being responsible, providing, and maintaining dignity.
What this blog describes is generally referred to as "dipshit." About as manly as people who yell "Faggot!" from their moving car at people waiting at the bus stop. Great, loser.
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what you just described is the complete opposite of being a man.
Sidenote it took you to 16 to smoke your first cigarrete and have your first taste of a shot?
I had my first cigarette when i was 14 and I smoked them for about a month then i was like hmm its not that great and gave up. I got off my face on new years for the last 3 in a row i think as well so that would make me...13 or just turned 14.
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You definitely aren't a man yet, you're just 1 of a legion of teenagers thinking they are cool.
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On August 17 2008 13:01 BalloonFight wrote:
You definitely aren't a man yet, you're just 1 of a legion of teenagers thinking they are cool.
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Spenguin
Australia3316 Posts
On August 17 2008 12:33 ahrara_ wrote:
Drinking and smoking and being a dick does not make you a man.
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LOL at the responds in this blog.
i think you're a 5/5 man now
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On August 17 2008 13:01 BalloonFight wrote:
You definitely aren't a man yet, you're just 1 of a legion of teenagers thinking they are cool.
Yeah, sorry, I forgot to include the part where "I think I'm the shit now".
Totally forgot about that part of the night.
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lol i love how people think they are sooooo much cooler than you are
dude try getting drunk AND getting with a grl its a blast but u have to blog about tho
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Well you are bragging about smoking one cigarette and having a shot of liquor. I know for a fact at least half of 14 year old girls smoke and drink regularly. I guess they're REALLY manly.
dude try getting drunk AND getting with a grl its a blast but u have to blog about tho
Oh my God you're evil bahahaha!
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On August 17 2008 13:01 BalloonFight wrote:
You definitely aren't a man yet, you're just 1 of a legion of teenagers thinking they are cool.
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On August 17 2008 12:51 PsycHOTemplar wrote:
What this blog describes is generally referred to as "dipshit." About as manly as people who yell "Faggot!" from their moving car at people waiting at the bus stop. Great, loser.
Of course the internets isn't an easy place to make translations - and not everyone has a sarcasm detector hooked up to the USB. But when I say "man" I do not literally mean I have ascended into adulthood and now take the responsibilities of what society depicts as a man model figure. Maybe my blog was misleading since the general consensus of the people reading it are taking it seriously.
Everyone has that "first" cigarette and alcohol drink in their lifetime. That is something most people remember, not because it is a good experience, or because it makes them "cool". It is just a transcending moment of time where you are being introduced and using substances or other paraphernalia that imprints the memory of stepping up from "Soda" to the "Beer". I can sit here and reminisce about my first Soda, when my parents finally decided I can try some delicious fizzy soft drink, and I absolutely hated it. Now I drink Soda everyday and love it.
I know this isn't a blog that people will give a real damn about, but it was important to me, as an experience. It seems like everyone is jumping into the scene of pseudo-rebellions who oppose rebellious behavior as a new "trend". Because the silly thing is I never said that these beverages or cigarettes are a sign of higher maturity, or give me a stature of "coolness".
But I really kind of assumed all this was common sense because typing a paragraph about a fun night is better than getting all technical when someone wants to bring the flames in.
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On August 17 2008 13:09 Spenguin wrote:Show nested quote +On August 17 2008 12:33 ahrara_ wrote:
Drinking and smoking and being a dick does not make you a man.
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GAWD.
If only people could think before they type lol.
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United States24795 Posts
On August 17 2008 13:28 SCC-Faust wrote:
Everyone has that "first" cigarette and alcohol drink in their lifetime.
Eh, alcohol maybe..... cigarette no.
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EPT
