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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
So wtf am I talking about now? I'm referring to the behavior of (a) finding and (b) remembering the cleanest, most well-kept bathrooms in your dorm, your college departmental buildings, general area you are around often, your office, etc.
According to this data, said toilet hunter will seek out the most satisfactory location in the time of need. Unlike the usual suspects whom head for the toilet based on geographic proximity, the toilet hunter will take into account all factors, including low traffic of the facilities (also, quietness of the surrounding area is a big +). The toilet hunter is willing to travel extra levels and walk extra paces in order to find his inner peace during his nature calls. The hunter's bahavior is particularly keen when he goes #2.
I first became a toilet hunter back in my 1st year of undergrad, when the stark contrast between toilet facilities - sometimes within the same building - became apparent. I still remember with great fondness, the pristineness of the new Physics building bathrooms (dsh help me out, I can't remember the name of the building - I think it started with an M, its' the one next to Fine tower).
Currently I exclusively use the 3rd floor stalls when in the Materials Department at Cambridge.
Are you a toilet hunter? ^_^
 
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No, I'm not. I go to the closest one if I really had to go. If not, I just wait til I get home and use the one at home. lol
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United States24740 Posts
I don't need a toilet. I just use Albany.
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Yeah, absolutely.
But I prefer to avoid going to public toilets altogether.
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Belgium9949 Posts
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I do it when im at campus. Some are horrid >_<
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I've only taken a shit at school once in my life 
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
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Canada7170 Posts
On May 30 2008 00:36 .MistiK wrote:I've only taken a shit at school once in my life
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The urinals in my university don't actually flush, they are waterless. Don't ask me how that's supposed to work, but the unbearable stench tells me it doesn't. The only cute thing about them is a lit up label saying that this waterless system saves x billion litres of drinking water a year 
That said, I'm not a toilet hunter. But I never take a dump anywhere but at home.
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I absolutely am. I have the perfect toilets picked out at my universities library that I have deemed as least used as well as least known about.
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
On May 30 2008 01:09 kidd wrote:
I absolutely am. I have the perfect toilets picked out at my universities library that I have deemed as least used as well as least known about.
Fuck Yeah!
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When I was in grade 1 I was at school and i had to go some poopy. Whatevers I thought, no big deal (I WISH I COULD FEEL THAT AGAIN!!!) so I head off to the bathroom and get hop aboard the toilet and let it begin. While I'm going these fucking grade 8's walk in, bust open my stall GTA style and start laughing at me for shitting. I WAS TRAUMATIZED!!! Now I am a toilet hunter and I only go in public places when its absolutly necessary. All through highschool I would just hold it until I got home. At the university I go to I always went in either an employee bathroom (I'd ninja the key from my mom who works in an old ass building that no one ever goes too, fucking perfect!) or some secret bathroom most people have no idea exists.
I def dont like being this way!!!!  (!(!(!(!
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
once you start work you'll realize that no one will give a fucking rats ass b/c when you do your 9-5ers every day you have no fucking choice but to go #2 baby.
guy 1 walks out of stall
guy 2 glances, thinking 'oh he took a shit, whatevs' -> continues pissing.
guy 1 notices that guy 2 doesnt give a shit.
GL, but I know how you feel!
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I am indeed a toilet hunter. It is amazing the variation that can occur from one level to another. At our library for instance, the upstairs men's room has two nasty ass stalls covered in gravity with stained toilets, while the downstairs has three spacious stalls and is always preternaturally clean. The best are of course in the student union though, so I tend to wait between classes to use those (unless I'm at the library). In the Modern Languages building though, all of the toilets are bad. Fortunately, it's right across from the student union, so I have a chance to go there between classes.
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I've done this at high school. I've also done this for water fountains (1/2 of them were made in the 1960's or some shit, barely shot water, and tasted like metal... the other 1/2 were modern and were like a drink from a fresh spring).
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the toilet at my work (graphic design agency) is perfectly clean and smells really good. i'd eat from the floor there. it's an important factor for feeling good at work!
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Canada9720 Posts
i used to do this at school. actually i do it at work too. my shit schedule almost revolves around being at school or work.
i mean, who wants to actually buy toilet paper?
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whats up with the sudden increase in toilet-talk
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i have a severe case of IBS. i don't have the luxury of being picky.
I've shit on the side of the road.
I've shit in a bathroom stall at a bar (omg this is the worst).
I've shit at school.
Hell, i've shit my pants in the middle of a grocery store.
i'm just happy if i can find a washroom in time.
on top of that, it's often a long and painful experience. god i hate shitting anywhere but at home... ;(
On May 30 2008 01:13 MiniRoman wrote:
so I head off to the bathroom and get hop aboard the toilet and let it begin. While I'm going these fucking grade 8's walk in, bust open my stall GTA style and start laughing at me for shitting. I WAS TRAUMATIZED!!!
i've had a similar experience.
fuck, that's a lie. I've had several.
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McDonnell has nice toilets? I didn't even know that it had bathrooms, or at least I've certainly never used them. Unless you're referring to Jadwin :O
I look for clean toilets, ie dorm halls with sensible guys that clean up after use. Sub-free basements ftw.
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On May 30 2008 01:19 thedeadhaji wrote:
once you start work you'll realize that no one will give a fucking rats ass b/c when you do your 9-5ers every day you have no fucking choice but to go #2 baby.
guy 1 walks out of stall
guy 2 glances, thinking 'oh he took a shit, whatevs' -> continues pissing.
guy 1 notices that guy 2 doesnt give a shit.
GL, but I know how you feel!
this is absolutely true.
after being at work, and sitting in the stall next to someone who just lets it fucking rip for 10 minutes straight - sometimes with moans thrown in! - i've lost being embarrassed about taking a shit at work.
taking a shit at a bar is still nasty though.
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On May 30 2008 00:24 0xDEADBEEF wrote:
Yeah, absolutely.
But I prefer to avoid going to public toilets altogether.
Same here.
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
On May 30 2008 01:29 Raithed wrote:
rofl. i love your blogs.
at your service!
On May 30 2008 01:46 azndsh wrote:
McDonnell has nice toilets? I didn't even know that it had bathrooms, or at least I've certainly never used them. Unless you're referring to Jadwin :O
I look for clean toilets, ie dorm halls with sensible guys that clean up after use. Sub-free basements ftw.
Exacly! no one fucking uses them hahaha. 2nd floor, right next to the elevators. They're quite nice! I think the psych building had some nice ones iirc. Frist aint bad either but traffic is high.
I actually have a pic with Klogon in said bathroom when we were at the Pton Penn football game.
On May 30 2008 01:45 Mora wrote:
i have a severe case of IBS. i don't have the luxury of being picky.
I've shit on the side of the road.
I've shit in a bathroom stall at a bar (omg this is the worst).
I've shit at school.
Hell, i've shit my pants in the middle of a grocery store.
i'm just happy if i can find a washroom in time.
on top of that, it's often a long and painful experience. god i hate shitting anywhere but at home... ;(
Not b/c you've played catcher a few too many times? I kid
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Haha my brother held off going to the bathroom for like 12 hours or something because he hated going to public restrooms, especially in Penn Station and shit
You should've seen him run to the bathroom when he got home, I swear he was flying hahaha
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On May 30 2008 01:42 CTStalker wrote:
i used to do this at school. actually i do it at work too. my shit schedule almost revolves around being at school or work.
i mean, who wants to actually buy toilet paper?
I'm actually the same. For me though, it isn't about toilet paper, it's about clogging. Lets just say I deliver big packages. The toilets at the Uni are very much industrial grade high pressure, very good at flushing no matter what I throw at them. And if it does clog, it's somebody elses problem. At home on the other hand, two out of three times it clogs and it's my problem.
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
On May 30 2008 02:22 GeneralStan wrote:Show nested quote +On May 30 2008 01:42 CTStalker wrote:
i used to do this at school. actually i do it at work too. my shit schedule almost revolves around being at school or work.
i mean, who wants to actually buy toilet paper? I'm actually the same. For me though, it isn't about toilet paper, it's about clogging. Lets just say I deliver big packages. The toilets at the Uni are very much industrial grade high pressure, very good at flushing no matter what I throw at them. And if it does clog, it's somebody elses problem. At home on the other hand, two out of three times it clogs and it's my problem.
gotta clench 'em harder!
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This blog is so LMFAO!
I'm a toilet hunter and sh!t i've been traumatized a few times as well...I dodge doing the #2 even at work unless im here alone...Oh god I can almost quote everyone here b/c so much of it is true and so LOL! I think the worst place I had to lay one out at was at some flea market without stall doors...
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MURICA15980 Posts
Haji, I sir, am toilet hunter number 1. I remember even discussing the best spots to take a crap my freshmen year at Penn with people trying to share the secrets.
And yes, I remember those bathrooms at Princeton... hahaha they were quite nice. I was jealous thinking all your bathrooms were like that, but I guess not? Hahaha.
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MURICA15980 Posts
On May 30 2008 01:42 CTStalker wrote:
i used to do this at school. actually i do it at work too. my shit schedule almost revolves around being at school or work.
i mean, who wants to actually buy toilet paper?
I live on on-campus housing, and although they provide free toilet paper for these bathrooms, you may as well wipe your ass with paper. Thus, I buy my own. I have high standards.
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United States20661 Posts
wtf princeton and cambridge have nasty toilets? is it possible?
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Lol
yes I am a toilet hunter
3rd floor of the biological sciences library is my current
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Reminds of back when I was 14 or something, I hate to take a dump real bad and I was swimming in a small boat dock with friends. Well, there's no restroom around the dock and to take a shit in the jungle/wilderness, I had to climb like 200 feet up which by then I my shit would probably come out. So, I did what my natural instincts told me to do, I swam like several yards away from my friends and hide behind one of these concrete pillars used for docking the boats. There, I took a shit in the damn ocean.. Yeap... The shit slowly in a twirling motion goes down to the ocean floor ~10ft depth. Its like watching a shit go down a long ass toilet. Wipe my ass with my swimming shorts, by giving myself a weggie. And I swam back to my friend and acted like nothing happen. 5 minutes later, one my of friend spear fished a god damned stone fish ( think they said its the most poisoneous fish in the work or something) of course we all swam to the dock pathway scared shitless and from there kept cursing at the dude.. Fun times.
Ps. Now that I look back, taking a shit in the ocean is fucking disgusting.
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i used to take the toilet paper from the public bathroom at school at like 3am so i wouldnt have to buy any for mine
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United States43212 Posts
I bought a car off Koreans who go to my university yesterday (one of them was going home and selling the car) and Starcraft came up and they were amazed. 'Tis a funny world.
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United States43212 Posts
That was mainly just a random comment directed at Haji and I am aware how off topic it is.
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
That's fine, it's tradition in mi blogz!
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
kwark do you have any toilet stories to share though?
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United States37500 Posts
Toilets in haji's house: 5/5
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
noice! were you afriad I'm come busting in and laugh at you?
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United States37500 Posts
No, unless your two bathroom doors had faulty locks that I was unaware of. Then I suppose I should have been afraid of you.
ph34r
Remind me to bust in on you next time.
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I defecate just about everywhere. I love to eliminate feces, and do it at every chance I get.
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
I'm pretty sure the 1st floor bathroom near the kitchen doesnt have a lock!
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Whoever isn't a toilet hunter wants crabs.
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United States37500 Posts
On May 30 2008 03:55 Centric wrote:
Whoever isn't a toilet hunter wants crabs.
Cause you totally rub your nads all over the toilet seat.
Yup.
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United States37500 Posts
On May 30 2008 03:52 thedeadhaji wrote:
I'm pretty sure the 1st floor bathroom near the kitchen doesnt have a lock!
Didn't use the downstairs one for #2.
^_^
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On May 30 2008 03:57 NeoIllusions wrote:Show nested quote +On May 30 2008 03:55 Centric wrote:
Whoever isn't a toilet hunter wants crabs. Cause you totally rub your nads all over the toilet seat. Yup.
There have been documented cases of people getting crabs from public toilets.
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
Nearly all the internal locks on the doors in my house can be unlocked with Q-tip.
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
On May 30 2008 03:58 Centric wrote:Show nested quote +On May 30 2008 03:57 NeoIllusions wrote:On May 30 2008 03:55 Centric wrote:
Whoever isn't a toilet hunter wants crabs. Cause you totally rub your nads all over the toilet seat. Yup. There have been documented cases of people getting crabs from public toilets.
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United States37500 Posts
On May 30 2008 03:58 Centric wrote:Show nested quote +On May 30 2008 03:57 NeoIllusions wrote:On May 30 2008 03:55 Centric wrote:
Whoever isn't a toilet hunter wants crabs. Cause you totally rub your nads all over the toilet seat. Yup. There have been documented cases of people getting crabs from public toilets.
Au contraire.
http://www.medicinenet.com/pubic_lice_crabs/glossary.htm
A common misbelief is that infestation can be spread by sitting on a toilet seat. This is not likely, since lice cannot live long away from a warm human body. Also, lice do not have feet designed to walk or hold onto smooth surfaces such as toilet seats.
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United States43212 Posts
On May 30 2008 03:41 thedeadhaji wrote:
kwark do you have any toilet stories to share though?
Not really. Only epic tales of retention while awaiting a safe haven in which to unclench.
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Norway10161 Posts
That you do, forum-maniac;) Funny read
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
btw in japanese elementary schools (and I think all the way up till HS?) the students clean the classrooms, hallways, bathrooms etc after lunch. I was attending a school in japan in 2nd grade during june/july, when schools in the states were out but those in japan were still in session (summer vac starts mid-july).
Now, there is a central dogma in all of Japanese schools, heavier the younger you are -- you must not lay an egg in the toilets, else you will b esubect to public ridicule and your nickname will become "crap boy", "stinky boy", or some equivalent. I, being the foreigner (who had to field the obligatory "zomg you speak english? omgomg"), while aware of said cardinal rule, one day could not keep it in. I had to find a place to release my misery, but what do you fucking know, it's that time when everyfuckingone is cleaning everyfuckingwhere! Ya, all toilets in the entire school (or at least areas that I was aware of, being a fucking 7 year old), were infested with older peeps (ie 5th graders etc). The first place I went to for some reason didn't have stalls at all! I was in horror, as you could imagine. The shock and despair.... indescribable.
Pain ever-increasing.
The memory is hazy, as it was over 15 years ago -- but I think I hobbled my way to a bathroom I hadn't been to before -- probably some area where upperclassmen were - there were pple there but I didn't care. I was probably about to cry anyways. In fact, I dont think I was even aware then that they were cleaning the toilets. I let go, let go of my regrets and pain and past, and I was free. Poetic.
As I exited, I heard behind me, "aw, who took asoidjfalkseurowe" etc. But no matter. I was deaf to them. It was an incredible relief, and a horror circumvented. I was the new kid, and also one who had no idea where the bathrooms were located anyways!! The very fact that I was able to not create some brownian motion (look what I did thar!) in my pants was reason to pray to allah 5x a day. I had desacrated the newly-cleaned toilet (those azn ones that you have to squat down in! lol) but it would have been used eventually! La culpa no es mia!
Trauma for sure, although I don't really think that affected me too much in the future (but who knows).
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I'll shit anywhere.
I just do the whole spaceship hover squat over the toilet to preserve sanitation. I perfected this skill while living in Italy, where they have no actual seats, just rims. God, but wasn't that a disturbing time.
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On May 30 2008 05:12 Rayzorblade wrote:
I'll shit anywhere.
I just do the whole spaceship hover squat over the toilet to preserve sanitation. I perfected this skill while living in Italy, where they have no actual seats, just rims. God, but wasn't that a disturbing time.
On second thought, I won't shit anywhere: I once walked into a bar bathroom in Puerto Belgrano, Argentina, only to find the tile open around a gaping hole in the ground. This, presumably, was a toilet.
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
man I was on some outdoorz hiking thing prefrosh trip @ college, and the toilets were the foulest things ever I was trying to take a shit with the hover-squat but shit you tighten so many goddamn muscles that you can't looseen the ones you need to in order to let loose so that was a fucking struggle it was like doing air chair training @ gym class for 10 minutes or some retarded shit.
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Norway10161 Posts
On May 30 2008 05:14 Rayzorblade wrote:Show nested quote +On May 30 2008 05:12 Rayzorblade wrote:
I'll shit anywhere.
I just do the whole spaceship hover squat over the toilet to preserve sanitation. I perfected this skill while living in Italy, where they have no actual seats, just rims. God, but wasn't that a disturbing time. On second thought, I won't shit anywhere: I once walked into a bar bathroom in Puerto Belgrano, Argentina, only to find the tile open around a gaping hole in the ground. This, presumably, was a toilet.
I found that in Milano!!!
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If I can't hold it, I go down the hall next in the last hall which is well hidden. But if I can I wait till I get home.
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This is a subject I feel so strongly about that I will give it my 1000th post. I allllways look for the perfect bathroom, I'm worst then a girl. I like bathrooms that lock, and have a fan or music playing (nothin' more fun then taking a loud explosive crap when you can hear the lights buzzing in the quiet and there's 3 guys pissing at urinals right?) Sigh, here's to nigh 3 year's worth of useless 1 liners and retarded blogs.
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I'll take the one in closest proximity for sure. Don't care where I pee;
but doodoo is a nono on any sort of public toilets :|
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On May 30 2008 02:21 Equinox_kr wrote:
Haha my brother held off going to the bathroom for like 12 hours or something because he hated going to public restrooms, especially in Penn Station and shit
You should've seen him run to the bathroom when he got home, I swear he was flying hahaha
I do the same thing. I hate using public bathrooms. If I have to piss, I'd go piss anywhere. If I have to take a shit, I try not to do it in a public area.
Like a few weeks ago(maybe 2 weeks at top), I was playing Basketball with some friends. I had to take shit in the middle of the game. So, after the game ends I grab my bag, and walk away saying, "Ill be back in a few mins."
I ran to the nearest grocery store, and luckily the the janitor cleaned the bathroom, and the toilet was clean. I am glad I came at the right time. : - ) When I came back to the courts, my friends were wondering where I was. LOL. They even called when I was taking a shit.
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mother fucking genious man.... hell yeah to toilet hunter. more than anything though, you must know the best toilets at the library~~ thank god the dorms i stayed in had inidivudal bathrooms for em ^_^
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Korea (South)11584 Posts
I will share with you all a shitting story. So between 8th and 9th grade, during the summer I went to a camp for 2 weeks. There, was a group of people from spain there was well. It was a coed camp so naturally I get a huge crush on this one chick who was from spain. Since we would always be together (the group form spain and myself) I was shy as fuck, and didn't want to say I gotta go to the bathroom, hell I didn't want to go to the bathrooms there.
The bathroom stalls had no locks and half of them were clogged. So naturally, I tried to hold it in for as long as I could. Somehow, I was able to hold in my shit for about 9 days.
On that 9th day, oh boy did I have to shit. I pretty much ran after dinner to the public bathrooms and I sit down. For 30 minutes straight, I'm shitting and letting out moans cuz it feels so much better. Then, I hear a voice calling someones name,
"Hey Johnny!" Instantly, I quiet up, and then I hear "UGHH OH SHIT JOHNNY U STUNK THIS PLACE UP!"
Then at the stall next to me, I hear this Johnny character say, "No its not me, its the guy next to me!" Johnny gets up and leaves, and his friend leaves mocking him. I finish in the next 10 minutes, and walk out, and jump in the pool so if i stunk at all, I would lose it in the water.
And boy oh boy, the next day it still stunk in there bathroom.
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On May 30 2008 07:45 CaucasianAsian wrote:
I will share with you all a shitting story. So between 8th and 9th grade, during the summer I went to a camp for 2 weeks. There, was a group of people from spain there was well. It was a coed camp so naturally I get a huge crush on this one chick who was from spain. Since we would always be together (the group form spain and myself) I was shy as fuck, and didn't want to say I gotta go to the bathroom, hell I didn't want to go to the bathrooms there.
The bathroom stalls had no locks and half of them were clogged. So naturally, I tried to hold it in for as long as I could. Somehow, I was able to hold in my shit for about 9 days.
On that 9th day, oh boy did I have to shit. I pretty much ran after dinner to the public bathrooms and I sit down. For 30 minutes straight, I'm shitting and letting out moans cuz it feels so much better. Then, I hear a voice calling someones name,
"Hey Johnny!" Instantly, I quiet up, and then I hear "UGHH OH SHIT JOHNNY U STUNK THIS PLACE UP!"
Then at the stall next to me, I hear this Johnny character say, "No its not me, its the guy next to me!" Johnny gets up and leaves, and his friend leaves mocking him. I finish in the next 10 minutes, and walk out, and jump in the pool so if i stunk at all, I would lose it in the water.
And boy oh boy, the next day it still stunk in there bathroom.
Haha, I think many of us can relate.
But more on point.. 9 DAYS??????? You held your shit in for N-I-N-E fucking days? Did you have a bloody rubber bung in there or something? Madness.
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On May 30 2008 07:45 CaucasianAsian wrote:
I was able to hold in my shit for about 9 days.
Holy fuck LOLLLLLLLLLLL. Is this even possible.
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On May 30 2008 00:36 .MistiK wrote:I've only taken a shit at school once in my life
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On May 30 2008 11:09 XMShake wrote:Show nested quote +On May 30 2008 07:45 CaucasianAsian wrote:
I was able to hold in my shit for about 9 days.
Holy fuck LOLLLLLLLLLLL. Is this even possible.
No joke, i've gone 2+ weeks holding poo. I used to do it a lot when I was younger. What you do is you sit on your heel(that is you squat on one leg). You put your heel on one buttcheek and you press down over sideways, so it sort of clamps down your asshole. You'll feel your bowels move but nothing will come out (at all). Unfortunately this leads to really really hard poo in your butt trying to come out, which HURTS.
Anyways its really much healthier to poop every day, even twice a day (though i go once every 2-3 days, force of habit). I still hold it (in the manner described above) if i know i won't make it to a toilet in time or if i'm doing something that really requires my attention.
I'll warn you though...sometimes its hard to if it'll be wet or not...wet ones are hard to seal =(
actually i heard if you hold your poop for too long you'll die =O
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Depends alot regarding how much of a difference there is between different bathrooms, but if I need to take a serious dump i'm gonna go for that special toilet i know of
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When i was in the army i really searched the whole base for some privacy. Especially when you have stomach problems. I mean imagine 20 people taking a dump at the same time, it's fucking disgusting.
So one day i was wandering around after lunch, and i found it. It was perfect, spitshine, clean and it smelled normal. From that day on my whole body would time it's dump so i could go there.
Worst day was when we were in a bunker for one week straight, bad airconditioning only 2 toilets for 40 people and of course after the second day the whole flushing system broke down. Fuck worst toilet time of my life!
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On May 30 2008 11:09 XMShake wrote:Show nested quote +On May 30 2008 07:45 CaucasianAsian wrote:
I was able to hold in my shit for about 9 days.
Holy fuck LOLLLLLLLLLLL. Is this even possible.
Seriously, what the fuck. Did it feel like you were shitting out a football made of cement??
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Probably. I only ever use our upstairs toilet because the downstairs one is tiny and cramped, so I guess that would be extended if I ever lived in a dorm or whatever
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
oh you've got the symptoms baby!
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i used to do this
i stopped sometime ago, now i just spend extra time to carefully wipe the seat & align toilet paper such that i dont actually touch anything. oh and for my dorm i learned the rough times when the cleaning people come so i at least have some confidence im not sitting on filth if i come there <30min after they're done
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The toilets on building #2 of my college, all the way in the back far corner, single bathroom, never used, always clean, thank god I found it cause the other ones look like something inhumane exploded in them =.=
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LOL wow this reminds me...when I was in middle school visiting boarding high schools with my brother, he ended up making his decision between a few schools based on the quality of the bathrooms there.
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Campus bathrooms are always well managed and clean. Motion-sense flush and sink is a plus. But I've only taken a shit once in any educational institute in my life... I would say I qualify as a toilet hunter, rather hold it in then using those disgusting public cesspools.
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Today I walked into the restroom at my office and every single stall was being occupied for #2. I walked out, waited until work was over, took the bus to university where I have evening classes, and went in one of my "safe" stalls there.
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No, but only cause so far there haven't been cleaner or dirtier ones. I try to avoid the ones on my floor though cause there was some heavy drinking (lol) and several people have thrown up in there, not all in the toilet. I know it's been clean since but there's a mental block lol, avoid if I have to.
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EPT
