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Before you post or before you actually start to read this blog, think about what I want to express and don't put a wrong complexion on me. This community means a lot to me and I just want your view on what I'm judging here
Every action results in a reaction
Nowadays people are far to fast with their decisions. They talk and judge before even thinking about what they could trigger with what they do, but this isn't something new, is it?
Unfortunately I noticed that even friends and family seems to change more and more in that direction.
To take a single example I'd to point out that the phrase "I hate you" is used far to often. Whenever a friend argued with his mother about things that aren't even worth talking about he's telling me "I hate my mother.. god damn b****".
Holy hell what? It is your mother and you love her and don't hate her. Even if you argued its no reason to say something like that.
Same goes for "I love you". I have lots of good friends (females) and I'm getting along with them quite good, we are so close. They tell me everything, they have no problem to change clothes when I'm next to them and things like that. But I'd never say "I love you" and ask her if she wants to start a relationship with me if I'm not really sure about my feelings.
A lot of teenagers are starting relationships with the hope that the inner lust to satisfy your desire will change into a relationship which turns out to make your heart going crazy every time you hold the hand of your boyfriend or girlfriend.
You probably just wanted to have fun and your partner wanted something serious and thought you think the same way. Worst case scenario would be a broken heart and end of the friendship.
Judging too fast
I'm unique. I'm not like the mass of the guys. I'm not looking forward to just f*** a girl and toss her away like trash. I'm interested in a serious relationship or in serious friendship. I won't say I'm perfect or I never kissed just for fun or had sex for fun, but both wanted nothing more than that. I'm not faking interest just to get a f***!
Persons (in most cases men) who act just like this actually piss me off.
The topic sex leads to one point of people judging too fast. Women who sleep with lots of men are bitches, because.. yes, thats the point. Because of what they are bitches?
No one cries about men sleeping with a lot women / girls.
Another point is that you judge about persons, about their sexual interest, their character and anything far too easy.
Taking me as example this time, I really enjoy listening to Nick Pitera (Male Amateur Singer which can actually sing like women can.. if you ask me even better)
+ Show Spoiler [Nick Pitera Videos] +Who ever thinks he's lip syncing just proves my point of judging too fast, next one is live
Alot of people called me gay or a freak, because I actually recognize what a talent this guy has, even if you don't like it. I think there's nothing wrong with singing like that if you can.
Well, thats all I have to say right now. I'm actually really mad and tired.. good night everyone. Maybe you think about what you read here.
Please don't take part in the discussion or comment this if you are not interested in what I wrote or think it is total bullsh*t. I really don't want to argue with anyone of you, because this is just my point of view. If you have another point of view I'm looking forward to read it!
Best Regards
Silvano
 
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Hi Silvano,
I was bored here but I actually read through all of this. Anyway, since I don't know how old you are I'm gonna go ahead and say things might seem like this to you because of your age perspective.
I agree totally, the majority of people judge or make decisions without thinking. I guess to put it in one way, you could say that common sense is simply uncommon. I know you said your family [ which would consist of older people as well ] and your friends seem to shift towards this method of living/thinking but I wouldn't say it is unnatural.
I can totally relate to the Nick Pitera thing [ although I haven't watched the vid ] because there's stuff I like too that some of my friends just put down if it doesn't align with their likes. For example, among the many genres of music I listen to, I listen to classical music. I played piano for 9 years and was actually a top 100 amateur here in the states. A lot of people view classical music listeners as weird or abnormal. But the thing is, there are also a lot [ but probably fewer ] of people who recognize that classical music has its own beauty as well.
I think you haven't met the right people yet. Anyway, I guess all this was just to agree mostly with what you said, but also to say that there is hope and cool people out there who aren't so judgemental. I'm a freshman in college and I just recently met one of these people. He actually goes to a different college but he's a roomate of a long time friend of mine and I met him that way. I've only known him for like 6 months but I already feel like we get along so well.
-Alex
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On April 11 2008 05:58 Ack1027 wrote:
Hi Silvano,
I was bored here but I actually read through all of this. Anyway, since I don't know how old you are I'm gonna go ahead and say things might seem like this to you because of your age perspective.
I agree totally, the majority of people judge or make decisions without thinking. I guess to put it in one way, you could say that common sense is simply uncommon. I know you said your family [ which would consist of older people as well ] and your friends seem to shift towards this method of living/thinking but I wouldn't say it is unnatural.
I can totally relate to the Nick Pitera thing [ although I haven't watched the vid ] because there's stuff I like too that some of my friends just put down if it doesn't align with their likes. For example, among the many genres of music I listen to, I listen to classical music. I played piano for 9 years and was actually a top 100 amateur here in the states. A lot of people view classical music listeners as weird or abnormal. But the thing is, there are also a lot [ but probably fewer ] of people who recognize that classical music has its own beauty as well.
I think you haven't met the right people yet. Anyway, I guess all this was just to agree mostly with what you said, but also to say that there is hope and cool people out there who aren't so judgemental. I'm a freshman in college and I just recently met one of these people. He actually goes to a different college but he's a roomate of a long time friend of mine and I met him that way. I've only known him for like 6 months but I already feel like we get along so well.
-Alex
Your comment makes me and my heart smile  !
Thanks... If its possible I'd like to listen to one of your piano songs or things you played !
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Oh, that's pretty flattering haha.
I'm 19 now, I quit playing piano when I was 13. Was kinda unheard of to record yourself back then but I think have a couple files somewhere. I'll try to find them.
Seriously though, I probably know how you feel right now, angry maybe a little lonely even...but there are definitely people in the world who you'd be surprised at how much they think like you. I consider myself blessed because I actually have 3 friends I'd be willing to bet my life on and its easy to talk to them about anything.
I also forgot to say that it's very good that you recognize that relationships ending in heartbreak or situations where two people don't talk to each other is really the worst case scenario. It's happened a few times to me, and I would never want that to happen to anyone else. To give you an example, I don't understand people who get married and divorced. It just simply doesn't make sense to me. Anyway..this turned out longer than I planned I got hw to do lol.
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I'm also 19 and yes, I'm a little bit angry... I also had argued with my best friend (Lizzy) before she went to bed.. and I feel really sorry, because I was very unfair to her. She basically got all my anger against women I have in me.. for being unfair to me etc.
Oh well.. I'll call her.. even if its late. She's one of the most important persons in my life ! Good luck doing HW.
I'll go to bed.
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I want bored at all, in fact of work need to be done here, but I like what you wrote, I wish more people think like you both do... as we do...
There is still some hope in the world =P...
pd: I hope you already fix your little problem with Lizzy...
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First off, how old are you? I'm guessing you're around high school age (16-18 give or take a bit). Now don't take that as an insult, it's not. I'm not trying to say you're immature or anything. I bring that up since I had similar thoughts to what you mentioned when I was in high school and I think it's fairly normal.
For example, the strength of words and the frequent over use of some very powerful ones like "hate" and "love." To this day I make a conscious effort to use "love" only when I really mean it.
Don't get yourself too high up on a pedestal thinking you're "unique." Yes there are a lot of guys out there that are just looking for a quick fuck and are the stereotypical "assholes" girls cry to nice guys about. But there are also a lot of guys that probably don't think too far from you, that generally think they could and would treat a girl right. They just tend to be quieter so you notice them less. Just know that you aren't alone in this, there are plenty of people that are going through similar situations as you and many that already have.
Something to think about though, and this may or may not be common sense to you already since it sounds like you've had your fair share of action with the ladies already. Don't take relationships TOO seriously right from the start. I've been with my girlfriend for almost 4 years right now and she's my first. When I started the relationship I was all serious about it with the "Do it once, do it right" type of attitude which looking back was such a narrow minded and childish concept. After awhile I loosened up a bit and took a more casual approach and accepted that dating around a bit before you find "the right one" is a perfectly acceptable and normal thing. Irregardless, here I am, still with the same girl and we've just naturally grown into a closer relationship from a more casual one and I feel it's better this way than being overly attached to things like commitment and such right from the start. I tell you this since the way I see relationships now and the way I did in high school are so drastically different and I find a lot of the things I did back then were so terribly dumb.
I've actually got a different take on the whole "women sleeping around = bitches" deal. Within my circle of friends women that sleep around a lot are still generally hit with a derogatory term like "whore" or something but men that sleep around get called "man whores" just as easily. I'm an equal opportunity hater.  The terms are really just in jest though, nothing serious. No sense losing sleep or being deeply troubled by someone sleeping around.
Being called "gay" or a "freak" for the kind of music you listen to (Nick isn't bad by the way) seems awfully juvenile which furthers my assumption that you're in high school. My friends listen to slightly more mainstream stuff than I do while I tend to enjoy operatic metal (Nightwish, Epica, etc) so I totally understand people not getting your music tastes. Don't let it get to you. If someone told you they didn't enjoy the same type of food as you and labeled you "gay" for your tastes, you'd think they were pretty damn hilarious wouldn't you? I would. Well, I'd be confused for a bit then I would find it hilarious. Then I'd post about it on TL. XD
I would guess a lot of the things that are frustrating you will most likely fade away as you get older and get to college. It did for me. Depending on the college, you will generally be surrounded by more like minded people. If you haven't tried dorming (living on campus) you should. I think it would be a good experience.
Not really sure if there was a point to what I was writing, but something sort of clicked and felt familiar when I read your post so I figured I would ramble a bit. Hope you don't mind and you pick something useful out of my post.
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I love Nick Pitera (in a non-gay way). The guy is fucking legendary. Whenever I show people his work they always say he's gay, but I just see pure talent and skill.
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Naruto, you're a romantic  . Not anything wrong with it. Interesting read and the videos were nice, that guy has a good voice.
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You probably just wanted to have fun and your partner wanted something serious and thought you think the same way. Worst case scenario would be a broken heart and end of the friendship.
lololol
one of my friends (girl) like hates her life because the guy she boned the guy she's had a crush on for years, and afterwards he told her that he liked some other girl and he wasnt gonna ask her to prom,etc
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On April 11 2008 05:35 G.s)NarutO wrote:
Alot of people called me gay or a freak, because I actually recognize what a talent this guy has, even if you don't like it. I think there's nothing wrong with singing like that if you can.
Yea, I know what you mean. The majority of men(especially down here by the border), belive this true because they're too fucking stupid(its the truth) to see the magnificent talent that some men have. If someone different from the norm stands out, he automatically is brand as gay or femenine, thats bullshit.
I have friends that do this shit to me and I'm kind of lucky, because if they saw what I actually do in my abode, I'd be the gay laughing stock(which I'm not). For example, I pluck my eyebrows and sometimes apply light coats of makeup on me. Not because I root for the other side, but becuase it helps you appear more cleaner and neater, things that some women like(my kind of gal). Too bad that that most of the girl where I live are attracted, by way of a trance, to stupid gangsta wanna-be men who say idiocrasies, undermine the rest of the class, don't do minimum effort to try to pass, and who are always getting intro trouble. To this I say, "Wtf!"
edit: I think Phyre clarified someting by saying that this is juvenile behavior(I'm 17). So hopefully, later on, I'll be able to find people who do share similar interests as me and we won't have to worry of doing something "out of the ordinary".
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Holy shit, Nick Pitera is amazing.
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I will reply to you when I'm home. Thanks for posting such nice comments
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Cool post, I agree with you on a lot of things. Too bad that I'm too tired to write anything else that's meaningful ;O
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On April 11 2008 06:50 Phyre wrote:First off, how old are you? I'm guessing you're around high school age (16-18 give or take a bit). Now don't take that as an insult, it's not. I'm not trying to say you're immature or anything. I bring that up since I had similar thoughts to what you mentioned when I was in high school and I think it's fairly normal. For example, the strength of words and the frequent over use of some very powerful ones like "hate" and "love." To this day I make a conscious effort to use "love" only when I really mean it. Don't get yourself too high up on a pedestal thinking you're "unique." Yes there are a lot of guys out there that are just looking for a quick fuck and are the stereotypical "assholes" girls cry to nice guys about. But there are also a lot of guys that probably don't think too far from you, that generally think they could and would treat a girl right. They just tend to be quieter so you notice them less. Just know that you aren't alone in this, there are plenty of people that are going through similar situations as you and many that already have. Something to think about though, and this may or may not be common sense to you already since it sounds like you've had your fair share of action with the ladies already. Don't take relationships TOO seriously right from the start. I've been with my girlfriend for almost 4 years right now and she's my first. When I started the relationship I was all serious about it with the "Do it once, do it right" type of attitude which looking back was such a narrow minded and childish concept. After awhile I loosened up a bit and took a more casual approach and accepted that dating around a bit before you find "the right one" is a perfectly acceptable and normal thing. Irregardless, here I am, still with the same girl and we've just naturally grown into a closer relationship from a more casual one and I feel it's better this way than being overly attached to things like commitment and such right from the start. I tell you this since the way I see relationships now and the way I did in high school are so drastically different and I find a lot of the things I did back then were so terribly dumb. I've actually got a different take on the whole "women sleeping around = bitches" deal. Within my circle of friends women that sleep around a lot are still generally hit with a derogatory term like "whore" or something but men that sleep around get called "man whores" just as easily. I'm an equal opportunity hater. The terms are really just in jest though, nothing serious. No sense losing sleep or being deeply troubled by someone sleeping around. Being called "gay" or a "freak" for the kind of music you listen to (Nick isn't bad by the way) seems awfully juvenile which furthers my assumption that you're in high school. My friends listen to slightly more mainstream stuff than I do while I tend to enjoy operatic metal (Nightwish, Epica, etc) so I totally understand people not getting your music tastes. Don't let it get to you. If someone told you they didn't enjoy the same type of food as you and labeled you "gay" for your tastes, you'd think they were pretty damn hilarious wouldn't you? I would. Well, I'd be confused for a bit then I would find it hilarious. Then I'd post about it on TL. XD I would guess a lot of the things that are frustrating you will most likely fade away as you get older and get to college. It did for me. Depending on the college, you will generally be surrounded by more like minded people. If you haven't tried dorming (living on campus) you should. I think it would be a good experience. Not really sure if there was a point to what I was writing, but something sort of clicked and felt familiar when I read your post so I figured I would ramble a bit. Hope you don't mind and you pick something useful out of my post.
Hey mate ! I'm actually 19 so you are off a few years, but it no offence to me by any means.
About being unique I don't wanted to be cocky or something. It just seems me or probably saying my female friends always meet guys like I described. Hit & quit. I know or more over I hope there are more guys like me which proved to be right, at least here on teamliquid are some.
Hm.. maybe I wasn't too clear about the point concerning relationships. I don't mean you should wait for ages to tell a girl you have feelings for her, but nowadays people say "I love you" far too easy. Its more like the inner lust they want to satisfy. They use "I love you" as a tool. Of course its okay to start a relationship if you have honest feelings for a girl even if its not real love yet.
Is there actually really a thing like a man whore? I mean sure I've heard that, but here its never used. You are just a "player" if you get many girls. Most of the girls say they don't want to have a player / gangster / badass, but they always end up making out with them or in bed which angers me to NO END.
"Being called "gay" or a "freak" for the kind of music you listen to (Nick isn't bad by the way) seems awfully juvenile which furthers my assumption that you're in high school. My friends listen to slightly more mainstream stuff than I do while I tend to enjoy operatic metal (Nightwish, Epica, etc) so I totally understand people not getting your music tastes. Don't let it get to you. If someone told you they didn't enjoy the same type of food as you and labeled you "gay" for your tastes, you'd think they were pretty damn hilarious wouldn't you? I would. Well, I'd be confused for a bit then I would find it hilarious. Then I'd post about it on TL. XD"
Ya.. you are so right.
Oh well-,-...
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Most of you are so cool it seems, actually I want to meet you all in real life, haha!
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On April 12 2008 02:52 G.s)NarutO wrote:Hey mate ! I'm actually 19 so you are off a few years, but it no offence to me by any means. About being unique I don't wanted to be cocky or something. It just seems me or probably saying my female friends always meet guys like I described. Hit & quit. I know or more over I hope there are more guys like me which proved to be right, at least here on teamliquid are some.
I definitely know what you mean. The thing is, you're getting a skewed perspective on the ratio of assholes to nice guys. Girls generally won't go to their close, nice guy, friend and tell him all about some other friendly guy they met. Most girls I've met rarely start a conversation with "So I met this guy in class and he was really friendly and a real gentlemen." It happens, but rarely. More often than not you'll find yourself on the receiving end of "Ugh, this guy is such an asshole!" Especially if you're their go to guy to vent/complain, you will inevitably hear about assholes far more often. In the same way that you don't hear about normal nice people on the front of newspapers, those headlines are reserved for psychopaths and sadists.
On April 12 2008 02:52 G.s)NarutO wrote:
Hm.. maybe I wasn't too clear about the point concerning relationships. I don't mean you should wait for ages to tell a girl you have feelings for her, but nowadays people say "I love you" far too easy. Its more like the inner lust they want to satisfy. They use "I love you" as a tool. Of course its okay to start a relationship if you have honest feelings for a girl even if its not real love yet.
Ah, you're talking about the deception involved. Lying about feelings they don't have to get the girl in bed. Yep, annoys the hell out of me too.
On April 12 2008 02:52 G.s)NarutO wrote:Is there actually really a thing like a man whore? I mean sure I've heard that, but here its never used. You are just a "player" if you get many girls. Most of the girls say they don't want to have a player / gangster / badass, but they always end up making out with them or in bed which angers me to NO END.
Of course there is. We used to have a running gag about a friend of mine, wondering when his genitals would fall of and that he must have the 007 collection of STDs (or STIs, whatever) by now. Trust me, there are plenty of guys that don't think guys banging everything with a pussy and a pulse is high five material. Maybe if you hang out with lots of frat boys, but I digress.
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On April 12 2008 03:14 Phyre wrote:Show nested quote +On April 12 2008 02:52 G.s)NarutO wrote:Hey mate ! I'm actually 19 so you are off a few years, but it no offence to me by any means. About being unique I don't wanted to be cocky or something. It just seems me or probably saying my female friends always meet guys like I described. Hit & quit. I know or more over I hope there are more guys like me which proved to be right, at least here on teamliquid are some. I definitely know what you mean. The thing is, you're getting a skewed perspective on the ratio of assholes to nice guys. Girls generally won't go to their close, nice guy, friend and tell him all about some other friendly guy they met. Most girls I've met rarely start a conversation with "So I met this guy in class and he was really friendly and a real gentlemen." It happens, but rarely. More often than not you'll find yourself on the receiving end of "Ugh, this guy is such an asshole!" Especially if you're their go to guy to vent/complain, you will inevitably hear about assholes far more often. In the same way that you don't hear about normal nice people on the front of newspapers, those headlines are reserved for psychopaths and sadists.
Yes, absolutely right. As sad as it is, people want to have bad news (at least concerning news on TV / newspaper etc). I get what you mean.. and I think you're right!
On April 12 2008 03:14 Phyre wrote:Show nested quote +On April 12 2008 02:52 G.s)NarutO wrote:
Hm.. maybe I wasn't too clear about the point concerning relationships. I don't mean you should wait for ages to tell a girl you have feelings for her, but nowadays people say "I love you" far too easy. Its more like the inner lust they want to satisfy. They use "I love you" as a tool. Of course its okay to start a relationship if you have honest feelings for a girl even if its not real love yet. Ah, you're talking about the deception involved. Lying about feelings they don't have to get the girl in bed. Yep, annoys the hell out of me too.
Good to hear. I have lots of talents if it comes to judging people even if I don't know them or just have heard of them. Thats one of my gifts of god. And I'd say you are a really honest person who's probably very eager and stubborn and likes to discuss / argue a lot but you always are close to your friends if they need you. Thats a few guesses I can make about you.
Your girlfriend must be a really glad person to have met somebody like you. I wish you best of luck in your future.
On April 12 2008 03:14 Phyre wrote:Show nested quote +On April 12 2008 02:52 G.s)NarutO wrote:Is there actually really a thing like a man whore? I mean sure I've heard that, but here its never used. You are just a "player" if you get many girls. Most of the girls say they don't want to have a player / gangster / badass, but they always end up making out with them or in bed which angers me to NO END. Of course there is. We used to have a running gag about a friend of mine, wondering when his genitals would fall of and that he must have the 007 collection of STDs (or STIs, whatever) by now. Trust me, there are plenty of guys that don't think guys banging everything with a pussy and a pulse is high five material. Maybe if you hang out with lots of frat boys, but I digress.
As serious as this thread is. LMAO! This entertains me^.^! You are great, really cheering me up. Thank you.
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On April 12 2008 02:52 G.s)NarutO wrote:
Good to hear. I have lots of talents if it comes to judging people even if I don't know them or just have heard of them. Thats one of my gifts of god. And I'd say you are a really honest person who's probably very eager and stubborn and likes to discuss / argue a lot but you always are close to your friends if they need you. Thats a few guesses I can make about you.
Your girlfriend must be a really glad person to have met somebody like you. I wish you best of luck in your future.
O_O WTF!?! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
Haha, seriously that's scary accurate. I've found myself to be a pretty good judge of people as well based on fairly little information in the past. I think people like us tend to get that since, if you're like me, spend a lot of time thinking about people's behavior and tendencies in comparison to most other people. We analyze thoughts and feelings a lot, it's part of what makes us good listeners as well. Also, with a degree of self loathing you tend to analyze your own weaknesses and other's strengths a great deal to understand what they are doing right and you're doing wrong. Gives you an insight that some people simply don't have.
On April 12 2008 02:52 G.s)NarutO wrote:
As serious as this thread is. LMAO! This entertains me^.^! You are great, really cheering me up. Thank you.
Glad I could be of help.
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[QUOTE]On April 12 2008 04:10 Phyre wrote:
[QUOTE]On April 12 2008 02:52 G.s)NarutO wrote:
Good to hear. I have lots of talents if it comes to judging people even if I don't know them or just have heard of them. Thats one of my gifts of god. And I'd say you are a really honest person who's probably very eager and stubborn and likes to discuss / argue a lot but you always are close to your friends if they need you. Thats a few guesses I can make about you.
Your girlfriend must be a really glad person to have met somebody like you. I wish you best of luck in your future.
O_O WTF!?! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
Haha, seriously that's scary accurate. I've found myself to be a pretty good judge of people as well based on fairly little information in the past. I think people like us tend to get that since, if you're like me, spend a lot of time thinking about people's behavior and tendencies in comparison to most other people. We analyze thoughts and feelings a lot, it's part of what makes us good listeners as well. Also, with a degree of self loathing you tend to analyze your own weaknesses and other's strengths a great deal to understand what they are doing right and you're doing wrong. Gives you an insight that some people simply don't have.
[QUOTE]On April 12 2008 02:52 G.s)NarutO wrote:
As serious as this thread is. LMAO! This entertains me^.^! You are great, really cheering me up. Thank you.
[/QUOTE]
Glad I could be of help.[/QUOTE]
I'm not a girl but if I were one I would fall in love with you right now. I wrote you a P.M by the way !
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Wow...
That guy in your youtube link is really something amazing....!
I agree with you in not judging too quick - (I actually just watched Pride and Prejudice again and felt really strongly about it.)
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EPT
