As you might know from some of my previous blogs, I'm really into music. I'm working as a teacher right now, but making music has been and always will be a key part of my life. Over the years, I've managed to accumulate quite the repertoire. Since 1998, I've written about 900 songs / tracks, which might sound unbelievable. But you have to take into consideration that basically everything I've composed before 2004 was utter horse shit. (I was a teenager back then...) I play several instruments (piano, guitar, drums, computers) and I sing.

My musical taste has always been widespread. I listen to pop, rock, metal, techno, hip hop, jazz, classical music, folk and electronic music (mostly techno, ambient, idm stuff). I'm addicted to music, if that's possible. Whatever touches me, stays in mind. The ecstasy I feel while listening to an amazing piece can't be compared to anything else. Even sex and drugs are out of the equation. Is it love? It surely is.

So, what's the purpose of this blog entry? Well, I just wanted to share my personal story. The development. The journey. As I can't expect you to listen through all my stuff, I'll keep it simple. I'll just link some important tracks and tell the story behind them. Please note that the earlier material is very low-fi as I was completely amateurish back in the days.

1. Storytelling (2002)

Let's start with one of the good songs of the early years. I was 17 back then and as confused as a human being can be. Ridden by angst and emotions, I didn't know who I was and where I should go. My music was raw and improvised, my technical possibilities were very limited. I still think that "Storytelling" is a very nice song.

2. Who said (2004)

"And the shuffled piano / you learned to walk / alone, now you must / learn to go / everywhere else." A song about growing apart with small town boredom. The final part was a complete coincidence. I was messing with an old radio and recorded random stuff. The german voice says: "In the last 30, 40 years... there are many good sides to this process of professionalization... sharper questions, more precise insights, more inner-professional discipline." Whatever.

3. Reaching hypnosis (2005)

Fast forward. Anger. Hate. The song sounds dreadful due to the terrible drum samples. I had been playing guitar for some years and had finally decided to record a guitar album. The album was called "Radio" and it was driven by the last remaining bits of adolescent insecurity. I screamed until my throat was sore. Good times.

4. Thanatology (2005)

2005 was the year of "Mahula". A double album, consisting of 40 songs, which I mostly recorded for my friends. The album was divided into four parts: "Liquid phoenix" (about being alone), "Us" (about being together), "Tamagotchi cemetary" (about losing control) and "Thanatology" (about desperation). The title track of the final section is some kind of mini-suite. My german accent is pretty bad in this one.
It also was the last low-fi record I've done. After that, I was working in a friend's recording studio.

5. Listen to the screen (2006)

Primal scream therapy.

6. DK (2007)

Between 2004 and 2007, I've been part of a collective called "Endo". We mainly were a hip hop project, but we also tried pushing the boundaries from time to time. "DK" is an industrial / electro punk track with some chip tune elements. I still like it.

7. The healing (2009)

2009 has been the low point of my life so far. I was depressed and on the verge of losing my mind. Music and my peers kept me sane, but it still was a very tough time. "The healing" marks the first step out of misery. I had almost committed suicide a few weeks before writing the track, but luckily, I didn't. This one is maybe the most important piece of music I've composed in my life.

8. Pocari sweat (2010)

Inspired by God. After my mental breakdown in 2009, my approach towards making music changed drastically. I became more relaxed and more playful. I released 11 albums under the alias of "Bonko" in very small numbers between 2010 and 2012 to find a new way of enjoying music.

9. Maktoub (2010)

Part of a soundtrack I composed for a close friend. She was an art student back then and had made an amazing animated short film. When she asked me if I wanted to do the soundtrack, I didn't have to think twice. A cute one.

10. Two out of three (2013)

I've already blogged about my 2013 album "Save me". It was a little acoustic record. Just me, a guitar and a tape delay machine. I solely used very old analogue equipment, which is why there are lots of background noises. I decided to leave it that way.

11. Irradiator (2014)

This one marks the transition into my current period of creating art. It's more layered than the earlier electronic tracks. I really like the final part of the piece.

12. Moebius (2016)

And here we are. "Moebius" is taken from my upcoming album "Hidegkuti". It will be released in April 2016. The track is not representative for the album, as it will be much darker and noisier.

The closest I came to having commercial success was back in 2006. I was part of a band called Papaya Search and we were on verge of signing a deal with an indie label in Germany. We played about 50 shows per year and made quite a bit of money by doing so. Sadly, the band split up because everyone was pursuing a different career. I'm not bitter about that, it just didn't work out.

Here's my favourite song of the band:

This post is not supposed to be self advertisement. I just wanted to share my life in music with you. Thanks for paying attention.