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Right now I am unable to sleep after tonights loss in WCS and I have all these thoughts running through my head and I feel like writing some of it down to make things clearer to myself, and to anyone who might be intrested in my rambling thoughts.
I wanna write abit of where I come from in terms of my history with StarCraft, and abit of my life in general, but also where Im at right now.
I first started playing StarCraft when I was around 12 years old. Back then we didnt have a solid internet connection so I only played the campaign and offline with bots, on some weekends I would go online and play some UMS for a few hours using our 56k modem. Before StarCraft I had played alot of diffrent games but the only other multiplayer game I had played was Mario kart, if you can even call that a multiplayergame. I spent sometime playing StarCraft every now and then for a couple of years until we finally got a decent internet connection and I could start playing online in 2007.
Before this I had never really stuck with a game, playing a bunch of diffrent games, just for fun. I had also played socccer almost my entire life until this point, but after this I became consumed with StarCraft. After I started playing 1v1 multiplayer I spent ALL the time I could playing it. I started watching VODS of the progamers in Korea and thought to myself: This is what I want to do, That is where I want to be. Ive always wanted to be the best nomatter what im doing, and I just couldnt get over BroodWar, because it was so difficut, I just couldnt get myself to stop.
For 2 years I played no other games except broodwar. I started off playing on the EU server with friends, and here I got to know players like Runa, Bischu, Naugrim, Haypro and MorroW. After some time I started playing ICCup, I was around D+ when I started there in late 2007. I was compleatly caught up in broodwar and how hard it was, and I almost got high of the feeling of getting better after everygame. I kept playing ALOT and eventually hit A- on ICCup in early 2009. I remember staying up all night, playing 20+ backtoback games with bischu, or just grinding ladder whenever I could. At this point my average games per day was around 25+.
After this I kept playing for about another 6 months, until StarCraft 2 was right around the corner and most players had stopped playing. I also had just started highshool and was pretty busy with that so I didnt have the time to practice as much as before. At this point I started playing HoN with a few friends. HoN, and a few games of cs 1.6 with friends from time to time was the first and only other games I played since I started playing Broodwar, until the release of StarCraft 2. I started to enjoy playing HoN quite abit while waiting for starcraft 2 to come out, and sadly I didnt get access to the beta right away. I finally got to play StarCraft 2 when the open beta started, and after playing it I felt very sad, because I didnt feel like it was even close to being as good as Broodwar was, so for the first year of StarCraft 2 i didnt play much at all, maybe 5 hours each week.
Instead I ended up playing HoN alot more, mostly because since sc2 was out, there was very few players playing broodwar anymore, but after sometime, in early 2011, I realized how much I missed the competetiveness of StarCraft, of a 1v1 strategy game. I only really played HoN for fun, and it just wasnt doing it for me. I wanted to get back into StarCraft. So, I started practicing StarCraft 2 and basicly stopped playing all other games again.
I started going to a few tournaments, my first offline event was Dreamhack summer 2011, 4 years after I started playing broodwar I got to meet all the people I had spent alot of time with online. After this event I was supermotivated and kept pracitcing hard, playing a ton of online cups, EsportSM, Dreamhack Winter etc and in april 2012, right after Dreamhack Stockholm I decided to quit school to go fulltime.
After 4-5 months of playing fulltime, I started to lose some motivation, but when I got to Korea, the place I had always wanted to go, and got to practice in a teamhouse there... I just felt complete.
It was very hard for me to go back to europe and start practicing there again, from my room at home.
At this point I had also lost most of my old routinees and I had stopped working out. My motivation kept going down until I went back to Korea again in early 2013. I knew that Korea is where I want to be, even if gets lonely, and I dont speak the language, there was, and still is, nothing I want more then to be the best. After I went to Korea for the 3rd time, and the EGTL house shut down, my options of going back was very limited.
For the past year I have been doing so many things wrong and Im paying the price. Ive not taken good care of my health, both mentally and physically. Ive been forcing myself to practice, even when I dont want to, for a long time, because I cant give up. I cant stop thinking about StarCraft. Its on my mind 24/7. I cant stop until Ive reached where I want to. Im obsessed. But its time for something to change, I cant keep doing things like I have. I need to start taking care of myself, and commit myself 100% to what it is I want to achive. Right now I just have two things on my mind: Start taking care of myself, and getting back to Korea, or at the very least, a team house. I dont know if I will succed but I will keep trying.
Sorry for rambling alot, Im not the best writer. I hope this makes some sense atleast.
 
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i hope you can keep doing what you love. good luck 
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Hope you find what you're looking for much love and support.
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Very compelling read. I really hope you can make it back to Korea and kick some ass again 
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United Kingdom20319 Posts
On August 01 2014 10:40 darthfoley wrote:
We support you SortOf!!!
Really? I support him fully ;3
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Hope you make it dude! Always enjoyed your games and always rooted for you.
GL
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You have just gained a new fan. Seeing your dedication to this game makes me appreciate all the hard work and effort you have put into sc2. You will get back on your feet. You should talk to snute and TLO. They had some trouble with their health and mental conditioning, too. SortOf fighting!
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Wishing you all the best! Seems like you an Naniwa together going to Korea would be the best for everyone
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You definitely have the passion and dedication even after Alliance which I have to respect. Best of luck I can see you love the game and want to go further with it and I hope you do.
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interesting blog, best of luck dood <3
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Good luck dude! I know you feel about that motivation I love StarCraft but I was missing a certain point of self succeed until I switched from Z to T !
Hope you gonna have a chance to go to korea or maybe go back to school and became casual beast gm zerg? (I will throw my money at you in both cases if support will be needed :D!)
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you can do it!
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TLADT24920 Posts
Sounds good to me. Just make sure you have support after SCII so that you can go back and finish school or w/e it is you have in mind (basically, a back up plan). Otherwise, a brief but good start imo. Best of luck!
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GL dude, hope you can make it back to where you were mindset-wise and keep on trucking! I hope to see you in Korea again soon.
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Russian Federation134 Posts
Good luck, SortOf! Hope you manage to find the perfect balance between sc2 and real life and a new team that will support you.
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I didn't know you were that good at BW. From D+ to A- in two years while being quite young (you said it was before high school) is really no small feat!
Good luck!
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I'm with you Sortie! Always enjoying your fights in Tours and in your streaming time!
Take care yourself but if you don't want to give up on Starcraft you better find a Korean trainer!
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I thought this would be a retirement post actually, great to see that it was something else. Everyone is different of course, but maybe you should try to get another thing in your life as well. Your brain needs a break now and then both for learning purposes but also for your own mental state.
Whatever you do, lycka till
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Great blog SortOff, I hope you get back to your old shape and find a new team!
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Best of luck, hope you find your enjoyment again.
(Nostalgia can be such a kill-joy).
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Katowice25012 Posts
Best of luck, it sounds like you have a smart approach overall.
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Biggest of good luck wishes! Both with the health and with SC2! How was the teamsupport and practice with Alliance? Since there wasn't anyone else on the team lately that might have complicated things to find practicepartners and motivation?
//Johnny
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Best of luck for your future SO.
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Really hope you get back into the grove of things, we all know you can do it if you are in good condition. The problem is getting back in a good condition and finding your motivation. Hope you can work it out somehow!
Best of luck SortOf!
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i pray for you in every tourney, my old teammate ^_^ you were one of the most motivated people i have met, never forget what you like about the game !!!
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many of us seem to have the same problems outside of the game. good luck. Take comfort in knowing that you are not alone in this struggle
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SortOf, I've never been a fan of yours. Never really watched your games and never rooted for you.
But you've definitely made a fan of me from this post. I promise I will root for you from now on. Good Luck!
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Good Luck SortOf
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Admirable passion. Keep it up, I sincerely hope you'll find a lot of success in this game you seem to love so much. Sincerely.
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Nice writeup, Sortof. It's good sometimes to pour your thoughts out. I really admire your dedication to the game. Stick with it and you might get far.
But you've seen (I hope so) that health is the most important thing. So the goal of keeping fit is awesome and I wonder why it is so rarely this way with gamers. They are mostly those weird skinny guys weighing around 60 kg or obese. And with their lifestyle it's no wonder they suffer from RSI so much. So your desire to be mentally as well as physically fit is refreshing. I wish you all the best. You gained another fan.
gl hf!
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yeah its a sad story , sc2 is a horrable travesty compaired to broodwar crushed the soul of the beautiful game that starcraft is and their players base who truly loved starcraft for decades (not even to mention how it killed the prime time of kor e-sports)
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Kämpa SortOf'!
I hope that you get things worked out!
Also if u get the opportunity to go to Korea bring Naniwa!
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I really hope you can get back to Korea and start training to the best of your abilities. And ofc a great team/sponsorship.
It is great to see a foreigner really have the passion to go over and enjoy it despite the difficulties in immigration.
Unfortunately, it is expensive to rent in Seoul (expensive enough that a progamer's salary really isn't enough for a stable living).
However (not being serious kinda) you can always sleep in jimjilbang (public bath) for a decent price. It is what couples that fought do mostly because they don't want to show shame to relatives/friends. Bath, sauna, and cheap food in the complex.
If you ever find yourself in need of cheap housing for a short period it is a solution.
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Hi SortOf,
I read your post and it moved me to give you advice on what I would do, if I were you.
According to Liquipedia, I see you are 21 years old. In my opinion, that's getting kind of old to be a progamer. 
Sometimes the progaming life really works out, and sometimes it really does not. Stephano, for example, made incredible money and retired at the best time. He made vastly more money than he could have otherwise, at that point in his life. Not just because he was a great player, but because there were far more tournaments with BIGGER prize pools at that time too. And the competitive environment was different. The GAME was different. This example is ideal. Only a few players have achieved this or even half of it.
Your situation is very different. You have not seen the same success as other foreign players. The current climate of the Starcraft II is different than a couple years go too. Even if next year you could compete with the best KESPA players, the prize pools are greatly reduced. And I would say the competition is even more fierce now with KESPA joining than when Stephano played during WoL, early HotS.
Instead of progamer, you could possibly attend university. The income you would get from that degree's job is probably well above what you are making now. Even retiring from Starcraft II and finding a job right now would probably bring in more money for you, I suspect.
Instead, if you continue with progaming, and not only are you losing out on the benefits of going to university or income of a stable job, but your mental/physical health is deteriorating.
The Korean Starcraft II seems to be struggling as it is. Recently, quite a few Korean players became free agents. Not only are some of them superior players, but they speak the native language. And KESPA players do not really recruit foreigners. All the Non-KESPA teams seem to be disbanding, struggling in Korea, except Axiom.
Now I know I am talking about money, money, money. But I think it is really important you get a stable income situation to cover your BASICS. It is not as if progaming is a rich lifestyle for the majority. It is very demanding for little pay. Would you agree?
Anyway, I hope you take time to read this and see if any of these points agree with you.
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Hope you will get that dream sortof. You've worked hard all that time you desserve it. You clearly have the skill to stay on top. And taking care of yourself aswell as the mental part will surely accelerate it forward. Hopefully it's korea you come to! Best of luck in the future.
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On August 02 2014 03:31 Prolet wrote:+ Show Spoiler +Hi SortOf, I read your post and it moved me to give you advice on what I would do, if I were you. According to Liquipedia, I see you are 21 years old. In my opinion, that's getting kind of old to be a progamer. Sometimes the progaming life really works out, and sometimes it really does not. Stephano, for example, made incredible money and retired at the best time. He made vastly more money than he could have otherwise, at that point in his life. Not just because he was a great player, but because there were far more tournaments with BIGGER prize pools at that time too. And the competitive environment was different. The GAME was different. This example is ideal. Only a few players have achieved this or even half of it. Your situation is very different. You have not seen the same success as other foreign players. The current climate of the Starcraft II is different than a couple years go too. Even if next year you could compete with the best KESPA players, the prize pools are greatly reduced. And I would say the competition is even more fierce now with KESPA joining than when Stephano played during WoL, early HotS. Instead of progamer, you could possibly attend university. The income you would get from that degree's job is probably well above what you are making now. Even retiring from Starcraft II and finding a job right now would probably bring in more money for you, I suspect. Instead, if you continue with progaming, and not only are you losing out on the benefits of going to university or income of a stable job, but your mental/physical health is deteriorating. The Korean Starcraft II seems to be struggling as it is. Recently, quite a few Korean players became free agents. Not only are some of them superior players, but they speak the native language. And KESPA players do not really recruit foreigners. All the Non-KESPA teams seem to be disbanding, struggling in Korea, except Axiom. Now I know I am talking about money, money, money. But I think it is really important you get a stable income situation to cover your BASICS. It is not as if progaming is a rich lifestyle for the majority. It is very demanding for little pay. Would you agree? Anyway, I hope you take time to read this and see if any of these points agree with you.
Pretty much this. No point in competing with korean players for a few scraps. At least you are lucky to get relative cheap university access (not USA :D).
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Stay strong SortOf
I appreciate the outlook.
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On August 02 2014 03:31 Prolet wrote:Hi SortOf, I read your post and it moved me to give you advice on what I would do, if I were you. According to Liquipedia, I see you are 21 years old. In my opinion, that's getting kind of old to be a progamer. Sometimes the progaming life really works out, and sometimes it really does not. Stephano, for example, made incredible money and retired at the best time. He made vastly more money than he could have otherwise, at that point in his life. Not just because he was a great player, but because there were far more tournaments with BIGGER prize pools at that time too. And the competitive environment was different. The GAME was different. This example is ideal. Only a few players have achieved this or even half of it. Your situation is very different. You have not seen the same success as other foreign players. The current climate of the Starcraft II is different than a couple years go too. Even if next year you could compete with the best KESPA players, the prize pools are greatly reduced. And I would say the competition is even more fierce now with KESPA joining than when Stephano played during WoL, early HotS. Instead of progamer, you could possibly attend university. The income you would get from that degree's job is probably well above what you are making now. Even retiring from Starcraft II and finding a job right now would probably bring in more money for you, I suspect. Instead, if you continue with progaming, and not only are you losing out on the benefits of going to university or income of a stable job, but your mental/physical health is deteriorating. The Korean Starcraft II seems to be struggling as it is. Recently, quite a few Korean players became free agents. Not only are some of them superior players, but they speak the native language. And KESPA players do not really recruit foreigners. All the Non-KESPA teams seem to be disbanding, struggling in Korea, except Axiom. Now I know I am talking about money, money, money. But I think it is really important you get a stable income situation to cover your BASICS. It is not as if progaming is a rich lifestyle for the majority. It is very demanding for little pay. Would you agree? Anyway, I hope you take time to read this and see if any of these points agree with you.
I have to agree with this guy. Get an education. No one can take that away from you once you have it. Games come and go and its extremely difficult to make a long term career out of it (yes there are some rare exceptions).
Most people who play starcraft are intelligent people and such people are capable of studying and ending up with a great career, but also prone to obsession with games and such.
My advice, go cold turkey for awhile. Sell your computer. Start school. Get good at a sport. Hang out with people your age who are not in your current social 'circle'. Travel the country if you are able. Get out and experience life. Games will always be there but your youth will not.
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Interesting read. Best of luck, sD.SortOf
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Hey SortOf -- your heartfelt blog post has I think struck many. When I watched you play in the past I was really impressed with your talent and I think you have a good shot if you get things sorted out again. Your dream to play and live in Korea is admirable, but also difficult. There are very few opportunities for those who aren't the best of the best in a scene that is in a state of difficult transition right now -- one that tosses even legends like Mvp, Nestea, and MKP to the sidelines. There are a lot more opportunities in the European scene, especially for a Swede, a country with an enviable locally focused gaming scene. If your dream is to live in Korea, your best bet may be to live and practise there -- in a team house or even on your own -- and return to Europe to compete in tournaments. It's not easy to do this, and you need the support of a team, but other foreign players have been able to make this work for them. Although it's telling how few there are.
Whatever you do in the sc2 scene, you can't make it on your own. There is a lively and friendly sc2 scene in Europe. Whenever I watch GSL and Proleague, it strikes me how many foreigners are out there in the audience watching too. Whereever you go, there is a sc2 community there, even if you don't speak Korean. Don't be afraid to reach out for their support. You don't have to walk alone.
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i always thought u were a huge donk, but nonetheless still loved u. ^___^ good luck Rickard i hope u find it all and start fuckin shit up <3
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On August 02 2014 03:31 Prolet wrote:Hi SortOf, I read your post and it moved me to give you advice on what I would do, if I were you. According to Liquipedia, I see you are 21 years old. In my opinion, that's getting kind of old to be a progamer. Sometimes the progaming life really works out, and sometimes it really does not. Stephano, for example, made incredible money and retired at the best time. He made vastly more money than he could have otherwise, at that point in his life. Not just because he was a great player, but because there were far more tournaments with BIGGER prize pools at that time too. And the competitive environment was different. The GAME was different. This example is ideal. Only a few players have achieved this or even half of it. Your situation is very different. You have not seen the same success as other foreign players. The current climate of the Starcraft II is different than a couple years go too. Even if next year you could compete with the best KESPA players, the prize pools are greatly reduced. And I would say the competition is even more fierce now with KESPA joining than when Stephano played during WoL, early HotS. Instead of progamer, you could possibly attend university. The income you would get from that degree's job is probably well above what you are making now. Even retiring from Starcraft II and finding a job right now would probably bring in more money for you, I suspect. Instead, if you continue with progaming, and not only are you losing out on the benefits of going to university or income of a stable job, but your mental/physical health is deteriorating. The Korean Starcraft II seems to be struggling as it is. Recently, quite a few Korean players became free agents. Not only are some of them superior players, but they speak the native language. And KESPA players do not really recruit foreigners. All the Non-KESPA teams seem to be disbanding, struggling in Korea, except Axiom. Now I know I am talking about money, money, money. But I think it is really important you get a stable income situation to cover your BASICS. It is not as if progaming is a rich lifestyle for the majority. It is very demanding for little pay. Would you agree? Anyway, I hope you take time to read this and see if any of these points agree with you.
That's wonderful advice. In fact, there's probably no better one that could be given. Listen to this guy. Analysis is also correct with regard to sc2's timestamp.
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good read. best of luck to you buddy. Do what makes you happy.
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Hey Rick,
I'm not a good writer as well but I hope you'll read this because i do care really much about your thoughts.
First I want you and all the others to know why I care. (Long Offtopic, but i dont want to just leave it out)
+ Show Spoiler +It all started 2010, when i came into sc2 (My first pc game and overall FPS). I played football, was outside very much and then like you did more and more games with bots. I was 15 and suddenly all changed when I realized there is something like competitive gaming. Skipped football trainings, instead did hours of training custom games against lokal friends. Well, back in the time i also had some idols. There werent that many streamers and I diddnt like the mainstream ones because ofc I wanted to learn a lot and needed the interaction with the streamers. So I found Spanishiwa (One of the most balanced-tempered and calm player; http://wiki.teamliquid.net/starcraft2/Spanishiwa; retired T_T) and Fenner (Very kind and pleasant; http://wiki.teamliquid.net/starcraft2/Fenner; active streamer). Those 2 helped me alot to get to the level I am now but not close as much as you did! I really enjoyed to watch hours of your ladder sessions chatting around with Awigge, Brandy, Runa, Aiden, Yeppe, and so on.. You also were the first one of all pros who accepted me that well. You gave me mod in your channel and deeper insight of how you play so well. Thats why i know your mechanics are unbeliveable and you know the meta so deep i think i can never reach that level no matter how long i spend. Then all of the sudden other gamers accepted me as well like Starnan<3, Miniraser, SSanaEE, Tileä, and way more.. Not like you, I never knew what I wanted to become. I struggeled through school and wasted A LOT of time. I always had problems with ladder anxiety, getting blocked in my mind, not able to motivate myself to play. It was far gone that my friends, sports, school or my ex-girlfrind were able to complete/fill me so I felt balanced and consistent. There is nothing that forces me to my limits so hard like competitive sc gaming. I did not give up all other things, don't get me wrong, i still spend time with friends, go out and so non-e-sports but just as a compensation for SC, not vice versa! You are the one who showed me how to motivate myself on a long term basic with videos like this Schwarzenegger one or those sc motivationals.. I hate losing, its the only reason I tought so often i can't do it and i woun't succeed.
Regarding your current position:
If you really want to be the one and only best player there is like in every aspect in life no other way then focus on it 100%. Getting all other things in the background as you say, health, school, maybe friends and family.
Selfish seen I would like it so so much to see you stream again daily and beeing on the winning path again, but as a now longtime fan I would say its better if you take a step back out of it. Become healthy, play few sc games to keep your current shape and try to get in a normal rythm again. While that try to keep it completely open if you want to continue to play starcraft or not. When you are there you can still decide. If you think you can get in your old routines again, then try it slowly and with patience.
Enough with that. I know you still know best what to do and you never liked advise when I tried to give you some.. It always was this way ^-^_v but man, I still am a great fan of yours, so grab your size matters cup and watch the movie "Into the Wild".
(Serioulsy do it)
Well, thats me rambling a lot there, but i hope you can at least understand how i feel about this.
I wish you the very best as always and i will contact you soon again. Hopefully you read this, an answer would make me really warm and fuzzy inside you know what i mean..
<3
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Just writing a better post...
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On August 02 2014 05:33 ElMeanYo wrote:Show nested quote +On August 02 2014 03:31 Prolet wrote:Hi SortOf, I read your post and it moved me to give you advice on what I would do, if I were you. According to Liquipedia, I see you are 21 years old. In my opinion, that's getting kind of old to be a progamer. Sometimes the progaming life really works out, and sometimes it really does not. Stephano, for example, made incredible money and retired at the best time. He made vastly more money than he could have otherwise, at that point in his life. Not just because he was a great player, but because there were far more tournaments with BIGGER prize pools at that time too. And the competitive environment was different. The GAME was different. This example is ideal. Only a few players have achieved this or even half of it. Your situation is very different. You have not seen the same success as other foreign players. The current climate of the Starcraft II is different than a couple years go too. Even if next year you could compete with the best KESPA players, the prize pools are greatly reduced. And I would say the competition is even more fierce now with KESPA joining than when Stephano played during WoL, early HotS. Instead of progamer, you could possibly attend university. The income you would get from that degree's job is probably well above what you are making now. Even retiring from Starcraft II and finding a job right now would probably bring in more money for you, I suspect. Instead, if you continue with progaming, and not only are you losing out on the benefits of going to university or income of a stable job, but your mental/physical health is deteriorating. The Korean Starcraft II seems to be struggling as it is. Recently, quite a few Korean players became free agents. Not only are some of them superior players, but they speak the native language. And KESPA players do not really recruit foreigners. All the Non-KESPA teams seem to be disbanding, struggling in Korea, except Axiom. Now I know I am talking about money, money, money. But I think it is really important you get a stable income situation to cover your BASICS. It is not as if progaming is a rich lifestyle for the majority. It is very demanding for little pay. Would you agree? Anyway, I hope you take time to read this and see if any of these points agree with you. I have to agree with this guy. Get an education. No one can take that away from you once you have it. Games come and go and its extremely difficult to make a long term career out of it (yes there are some rare exceptions). Most people who play starcraft are intelligent people and such people are capable of studying and ending up with a great career, but also prone to obsession with games and such. My advice, go cold turkey for awhile. Sell your computer. Start school. Get good at a sport. Hang out with people your age who are not in your current social 'circle'. Travel the country if you are able. Get out and experience life. Games will always be there but your youth will not.
I have nothing to add to this advice. I was never playing professional, right at the start of SC2, after the Beta, I played high-diamond, when back then that was the highest ladder and I played for a team which later became very good in Germany, with ex-WC3-Pro Series players and so on. Then I broke my hand for a girl, punching against a wall at New Years Eve. After that I stopped playing like that, started going more out, hang out with my friends and girlfriend etc.
Now I'm close to the end of my voluntary year in Peru, going back to Germany with University already accepted me. But still watching SC2, playing then and there. I'm 21, too, and there is still plenty of time doing all kind of stuff. Make a Couchsurfing.com Account and travel through Sweden, some days ago I just met the best Swedish guy I've ever met, and he was so cool AND 61 years old. So - there is plenty of time!!
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Awesome man, GL in your future, I hope you make it back to Korea and get in a team house bro! Also what was your ID's back in BW days? Pretty impressive you hit A- .... GL !! Keep doin what you love!!
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You can do it SortOf! Wish you the best of luck.
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Never give up, good luck!
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United States2095 Posts
GL Sort of. I hope you get it all working out well. If you ever need people to talk to about anything I'm always up to chat. Again GL!
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On August 02 2014 09:05 darkness wrote:Show nested quote +On August 02 2014 03:31 Prolet wrote:Hi SortOf, I read your post and it moved me to give you advice on what I would do, if I were you. According to Liquipedia, I see you are 21 years old. In my opinion, that's getting kind of old to be a progamer. Sometimes the progaming life really works out, and sometimes it really does not. Stephano, for example, made incredible money and retired at the best time. He made vastly more money than he could have otherwise, at that point in his life. Not just because he was a great player, but because there were far more tournaments with BIGGER prize pools at that time too. And the competitive environment was different. The GAME was different. This example is ideal. Only a few players have achieved this or even half of it. Your situation is very different. You have not seen the same success as other foreign players. The current climate of the Starcraft II is different than a couple years go too. Even if next year you could compete with the best KESPA players, the prize pools are greatly reduced. And I would say the competition is even more fierce now with KESPA joining than when Stephano played during WoL, early HotS. Instead of progamer, you could possibly attend university. The income you would get from that degree's job is probably well above what you are making now. Even retiring from Starcraft II and finding a job right now would probably bring in more money for you, I suspect. Instead, if you continue with progaming, and not only are you losing out on the benefits of going to university or income of a stable job, but your mental/physical health is deteriorating. The Korean Starcraft II seems to be struggling as it is. Recently, quite a few Korean players became free agents. Not only are some of them superior players, but they speak the native language. And KESPA players do not really recruit foreigners. All the Non-KESPA teams seem to be disbanding, struggling in Korea, except Axiom. Now I know I am talking about money, money, money. But I think it is really important you get a stable income situation to cover your BASICS. It is not as if progaming is a rich lifestyle for the majority. It is very demanding for little pay. Would you agree? Anyway, I hope you take time to read this and see if any of these points agree with you. That's wonderful advice. In fact, there's probably no better one that could be given. Listen to this guy. Analysis is also correct with regard to sc2's timestamp.
Quitting progaming is always a wonderful advice if you base your happiness only on having a stable job and money. But some people prioritize other things first.
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On August 02 2014 03:31 Prolet wrote:Hi SortOf, I read your post and it moved me to give you advice on what I would do, if I were you. According to Liquipedia, I see you are 21 years old. In my opinion, that's getting kind of old to be a progamer. Sometimes the progaming life really works out, and sometimes it really does not. Stephano, for example, made incredible money and retired at the best time. He made vastly more money than he could have otherwise, at that point in his life. Not just because he was a great player, but because there were far more tournaments with BIGGER prize pools at that time too. And the competitive environment was different. The GAME was different. This example is ideal. Only a few players have achieved this or even half of it. Your situation is very different. You have not seen the same success as other foreign players. The current climate of the Starcraft II is different than a couple years go too. Even if next year you could compete with the best KESPA players, the prize pools are greatly reduced. And I would say the competition is even more fierce now with KESPA joining than when Stephano played during WoL, early HotS. Instead of progamer, you could possibly attend university. The income you would get from that degree's job is probably well above what you are making now. Even retiring from Starcraft II and finding a job right now would probably bring in more money for you, I suspect. Instead, if you continue with progaming, and not only are you losing out on the benefits of going to university or income of a stable job, but your mental/physical health is deteriorating. The Korean Starcraft II seems to be struggling as it is. Recently, quite a few Korean players became free agents. Not only are some of them superior players, but they speak the native language. And KESPA players do not really recruit foreigners. All the Non-KESPA teams seem to be disbanding, struggling in Korea, except Axiom. Now I know I am talking about money, money, money. But I think it is really important you get a stable income situation to cover your BASICS. It is not as if progaming is a rich lifestyle for the majority. It is very demanding for little pay. Would you agree? Anyway, I hope you take time to read this and see if any of these points agree with you.
This is solid advice and should be considered. SortOf's blog entry is oozing with passion and drive for the game he loves. Therefore, I would say perhaps go to Korea one last time. This time go all out 100%, give everything you have. Not even 1% wasted. Give yourself a time limit and if you do not achieve goal by a set period of time then quit immediately.
Getting to A- on iCCup and just the fact you are a professional starcraft player means you are smart and are capable of success in life as long as you have passion. I would say give yourself 1 more try with a set goal and give everything you have. If you do not reach that goal by a certain time limit then listen to Prolet and get an education asap. Do not waste any more time.
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United States33479 Posts
really admire your dedication to getting better at SC2
I hope things work out for you, and may your FOURTH Korean trip be the charm
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On August 02 2014 03:31 Prolet wrote:Hi SortOf, I read your post and it moved me to give you advice on what I would do, if I were you. According to Liquipedia, I see you are 21 years old. In my opinion, that's getting kind of old to be a progamer. Sometimes the progaming life really works out, and sometimes it really does not. Stephano, for example, made incredible money and retired at the best time. He made vastly more money than he could have otherwise, at that point in his life. Not just because he was a great player, but because there were far more tournaments with BIGGER prize pools at that time too. And the competitive environment was different. The GAME was different. This example is ideal. Only a few players have achieved this or even half of it. [bla bla bla..] .
Lol wtf? 21 isn't too old to be a programer at all (for someone who has already reached that level). 90% of the current progamers are probably over 21, so it sounds like you don't have a clue tbh.
@ the OP, there is nothing wrong with taking a couple more years off and maybe going to university when you're 23/24 or so.
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admirable wish, hope what you've wished for becomes true and you do get a shot at going to korea with a well-established team house.
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GL SortOf
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Dude, do what you gotta to do to get everything straight with your body and mind (even if that means cutting back on starcraft) after your together again, hit the ground running and kick every ass you can in starcraft. Hope you can get back to Korean or get into a team house
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Dude, i just don't know what to say. I just hope you will feel better.
Great blog though, i rated it 5 stars.
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On August 01 2014 10:14 SortOf wrote:
After 4-5 months of playing fulltime, I started to lose some motivation, but when I got to Korea, the place I had always wanted to go, and got to practice in a teamhouse there... I just felt complete.
It was very hard for me to go back to europe and start practicing there again, from my room at home.
At this point I had also lost most of my old routinees and I had stopped working out. My motivation kept going down until I went back to Korea again in early 2013. I knew that Korea is where I want to be, even if gets lonely, and I dont speak the language, there was, and still is, nothing I want more then to be the best. After I went to Korea for the 3rd time, and the EGTL house shut down, my options of going back was very limited.
For the past year I have been doing so many things wrong and Im paying the price. Ive not taken good care of my health, both mentally and physically. Ive been forcing myself to practice, even when I dont want to, for a long time, because I cant give up. I cant stop thinking about StarCraft. Its on my mind 24/7. I cant stop until Ive reached where I want to. Im obsessed. But its time for something to change, I cant keep doing things like I have. I need to start taking care of myself, and commit myself 100% to what it is I want to achive. Right now I just have two things on my mind: Start taking care of myself, and getting back to Korea, or at the very least, a team house. I dont know if I will succed but I will keep trying.
Sorry for rambling alot, Im not the best writer. I hope this makes some sense atleast.
So true, one of the reasons I can't go on and play many hours a day anymore ever since I left ST house and quantic disbanded. Starcraft hasn't been the same to me ever since. Nothing like playing next to great players, strategizing as well as playing vs the best on ladder. I honestly think you can become the best player in the world ONLY laddering on Korea. Good luck
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Good luck SortOf, we all saw your potential. Take care of your self and don't give up. I really hope you get to go to Korea again and become the player you can be!
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Sounds like you're starting considering of "playing the marathon" as opposed to "playing the sprint", so sounds about right TBH.. Ppl just can't practise at their late 20s same as their high-school period.. It's a "youngsters only" carreer..
Best of luck to you sir though :D
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gl man..remember that SC2 is not life dude...
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Wow, great insight, thank you
best of luck for your plans
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EPT
