I wanna write abit of where I come from in terms of my history with StarCraft, and abit of my life in general, but also where Im at right now.
I first started playing StarCraft when I was around 12 years old. Back then we didnt have a solid internet connection so I only played the campaign and offline with bots, on some weekends I would go online and play some UMS for a few hours using our 56k modem. Before StarCraft I had played alot of diffrent games but the only other multiplayer game I had played was Mario kart, if you can even call that a multiplayergame. I spent sometime playing StarCraft every now and then for a couple of years until we finally got a decent internet connection and I could start playing online in 2007.
Before this I had never really stuck with a game, playing a bunch of diffrent games, just for fun. I had also played socccer almost my entire life until this point, but after this I became consumed with StarCraft. After I started playing 1v1 multiplayer I spent ALL the time I could playing it. I started watching VODS of the progamers in Korea and thought to myself: This is what I want to do, That is where I want to be. Ive always wanted to be the best nomatter what im doing, and I just couldnt get over BroodWar, because it was so difficut, I just couldnt get myself to stop.
For 2 years I played no other games except broodwar. I started off playing on the EU server with friends, and here I got to know players like Runa, Bischu, Naugrim, Haypro and MorroW. After some time I started playing ICCup, I was around D+ when I started there in late 2007. I was compleatly caught up in broodwar and how hard it was, and I almost got high of the feeling of getting better after everygame. I kept playing ALOT and eventually hit A- on ICCup in early 2009. I remember staying up all night, playing 20+ backtoback games with bischu, or just grinding ladder whenever I could. At this point my average games per day was around 25+.
After this I kept playing for about another 6 months, until StarCraft 2 was right around the corner and most players had stopped playing. I also had just started highshool and was pretty busy with that so I didnt have the time to practice as much as before. At this point I started playing HoN with a few friends. HoN, and a few games of cs 1.6 with friends from time to time was the first and only other games I played since I started playing Broodwar, until the release of StarCraft 2. I started to enjoy playing HoN quite abit while waiting for starcraft 2 to come out, and sadly I didnt get access to the beta right away. I finally got to play StarCraft 2 when the open beta started, and after playing it I felt very sad, because I didnt feel like it was even close to being as good as Broodwar was, so for the first year of StarCraft 2 i didnt play much at all, maybe 5 hours each week.
Instead I ended up playing HoN alot more, mostly because since sc2 was out, there was very few players playing broodwar anymore, but after sometime, in early 2011, I realized how much I missed the competetiveness of StarCraft, of a 1v1 strategy game. I only really played HoN for fun, and it just wasnt doing it for me. I wanted to get back into StarCraft. So, I started practicing StarCraft 2 and basicly stopped playing all other games again.
I started going to a few tournaments, my first offline event was Dreamhack summer 2011, 4 years after I started playing broodwar I got to meet all the people I had spent alot of time with online. After this event I was supermotivated and kept pracitcing hard, playing a ton of online cups, EsportSM, Dreamhack Winter etc and in april 2012, right after Dreamhack Stockholm I decided to quit school to go fulltime.
After 4-5 months of playing fulltime, I started to lose some motivation, but when I got to Korea, the place I had always wanted to go, and got to practice in a teamhouse there... I just felt complete.
It was very hard for me to go back to europe and start practicing there again, from my room at home.
At this point I had also lost most of my old routinees and I had stopped working out. My motivation kept going down until I went back to Korea again in early 2013. I knew that Korea is where I want to be, even if gets lonely, and I dont speak the language, there was, and still is, nothing I want more then to be the best. After I went to Korea for the 3rd time, and the EGTL house shut down, my options of going back was very limited.
For the past year I have been doing so many things wrong and Im paying the price. Ive not taken good care of my health, both mentally and physically. Ive been forcing myself to practice, even when I dont want to, for a long time, because I cant give up. I cant stop thinking about StarCraft. Its on my mind 24/7. I cant stop until Ive reached where I want to. Im obsessed. But its time for something to change, I cant keep doing things like I have. I need to start taking care of myself, and commit myself 100% to what it is I want to achive. Right now I just have two things on my mind: Start taking care of myself, and getting back to Korea, or at the very least, a team house. I dont know if I will succed but I will keep trying.
Sorry for rambling alot, Im not the best writer. I hope this makes some sense atleast.