Some thoughts. - Page 4

On August 01 2014 10:14 SortOf wrote:
After 4-5 months of playing fulltime, I started to lose some motivation, but when I got to Korea, the place I had always wanted to go, and got to practice in a teamhouse there... I just felt complete.
It was very hard for me to go back to europe and start practicing there again, from my room at home.

At this point I had also lost most of my old routinees and I had stopped working out. My motivation kept going down until I went back to Korea again in early 2013. I knew that Korea is where I want to be, even if gets lonely, and I dont speak the language, there was, and still is, nothing I want more then to be the best. After I went to Korea for the 3rd time, and the EGTL house shut down, my options of going back was very limited.

For the past year I have been doing so many things wrong and Im paying the price. Ive not taken good care of my health, both mentally and physically. Ive been forcing myself to practice, even when I dont want to, for a long time, because I cant give up. I cant stop thinking about StarCraft. Its on my mind 24/7. I cant stop until Ive reached where I want to. Im obsessed. But its time for something to change, I cant keep doing things like I have. I need to start taking care of myself, and commit myself 100% to what it is I want to achive. Right now I just have two things on my mind: Start taking care of myself, and getting back to Korea, or at the very least, a team house. I dont know if I will succed but I will keep trying.

Sorry for rambling alot, Im not the best writer. I hope this makes some sense atleast.