It feels terrible.
I don't really know if here is the right place, but i need to get it out, and what a better place than TL with a bunch of strangers.
Cesar was a very special cat...Ten years ago, when i was about 9, Cesar arrived to my house. He was a feral cat, living in the streets and eating what he could find. We have a big garden, with a fountain, were birds come to bath and drink water, so we often received visits from some cats so it was a good place for him. He used to eat food remnants from our trash can (dump?).
He was already an adult when he arrived, and had lived most of his life on the streets. He didn't trust us at all. Even if we put food for him he wouldn't come close for the first 3 months. He was fierce, when we managed to get close to him, he would growl at us and escape, but with the passage of time he started to trust us a little more, he would often let us be behind him when he was eating the food we bought for him, although he still wouldn't let us touch him.
One day though, we noticed something weird, the cat wouldn't let us come close to him, and he was shivering. We managed to capture him and took him to the vet, a bastard had poisoned him.
Fortunately, the veterinarian was able to save him, and just after that, the cat started to trust us more. He would let us pet him while he was eating, and in a very short period of time, he would already enter the house, although only the living room. I like to think that he knew we saved him, and so we gained all of his trust.
And so, we lived together for ten years, in this time, other 3 cats arrived to my house. One was also a feral cat, another one was given to us as a gift, and the last one, another feral cat, was given to us by a friend who found her abandoned in the streets when the cat was just 1 or two months old.
Cesar was an awesome cat, he would follow us like a dog, always wanting to be with people, and he "adopted" one of the cats too, acting as a father and friend, we would often find them "bathing" each other with their tongues and playing with each other.
With the passage of time, he started to get older, and a little fat. Eventually, he became almost deaf, and there was nothing we could do.
One day, a year ago, he disappeared from the house, we found him days later in the yard of another house not knowing how to return, he hadn't ate for days so we took food to him, but he didn't recognize us. Eventually, somehow, one night he managed to come back home, and although he was thirsty and hungry, he was overall in a good condition, but i guess it was expected, after all he had lived in the streets for many years.
He lived well his last year, with a place in the sofa reserved just for him (and really, just for him, whenever someone would sit there, he would push them to the left). He would eat and sleep all day and play with the other cats sometimes.
Today, when my brother came from doing exercise, he found him dead in the garden, in front of our door. We didn't noticed he was there, i was still in bed because I'm sick, and my fathers had't gone to the garden. He was already stiff, so a couple of hours had already passed since he died. He was there just lying on the floor with his eyes open.
I don't know how he died, there wasn't blood and he wasn't hurt. The veterinarian once said that the cast must have had around 20 years already, so i think that maybe he died of a hearth attack. I called my father, putted him in a bag and a box and then we buried him on the garden, and i put some flowers on his "tomb" while saying goodbye to him.
There are always regrets...I wish we would have closed his eyes before we buried him, but i didn't think of that at the moment. And also i wish i wouldn't have been sick and had woken up earlier, and see him there, maybe there was something I could do to help him, or maybe if i couldn't save him, at least be with him in his last moments. I am sure he was in front of the door of the garden because he wanted to be close to us, and it hurts me a lot that I wasn't there for him this time...
He was a great cat, a fighter, he lived on the streets for years always fighting to survive. He found us and we took care of him, who knows, maybe if he didn't came to our house he would have died years ago when someone poisoned him. He lived a happy life while he was with us, we cared for him and he trusted us, and i'm grateful to have known him because he was such a funny and loving cat. Al tough he died today, i like to think he lived a happy life.
More animals need that. Day past day, a lot of animals die on the streets, they are hunted, poisoned or get hit by cars. i understand that they can carry diseases, or some may be dangerous, but there has to be a better way, they don't need to die, they deserve to live as anybody else.
People like to think of animals as objects, even the English language classifies them as objects saying they should be called "it", but anyone who has a pet knows they have different personalities, and that they have feelings too.
Today, I make a promise: when I am older I will do everything I can to help those animals, because they deserve a better life, they deserve to be loved.
Cesar, you were an amazing cat, you fought your way through life as a champion and today, although you leave, you will stay here in my hearth forever.
Cesar, you will live forever in our memories, thanks for all the time we were together, I love you and I'll never forget you.
Goodbye, my friend.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/JMrABbk.jpg)
Thanks to all who read this blog. I really, really appreciate you took the time. Thank you, I had to take it out.
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