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A Christmas Card Verse

Blogs > Umpteen
Post a Reply
Umpteen
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United Kingdom1570 Posts
September 26 2013 16:10 GMT
#1
If you like it, feel free to make use of it this coming Christmas season. Goes down well with kids.


At the North Pole each Christmas, the night they will fly,
The reindeer all argue and bicker - and why?
No, not for the honour of leading the way,
Or over who's munched all the best bits of hay,
They each want to pull at the rear of the pack,
In front of the sleigh and the man with the sack,
And flying along at a furious pace,
Taking aim with great care, try to poo in his face.

"It's my turn," said Vixen, "You said so last year!"
"Not likely," said Dash with a flick of his ear.
"It's got to be me," Cupid cried with a bound,
"Yeah right," snorted Comet, "You can't hit the ground."
"I got him twice," Prancer smirked, "So beat that!"
"That's nothing," sniffed Dancer, "I knocked off his hat."
"I wish," Blitzen moaned, "You'd let me have a go."
"You'd suffocate him," explained Donner, "So no."

Then suddenly up piped a different voice,
"I think you will find I'm the logical choice!"
"I am always up front! It's just got to be me!"
"You've all had a turn - except Blitzen - you see."
They looked at each other, at Rudolph, and sighed
"I suppose," muttered Dasher, "That can't be denied."
"Hurray!" shouted Rudolph, then stopped with a squawk,
As Santa walked in, with a smile, and a cork.



*****
The existence of a food chain is inescapable if we evolved unsupervised, and inexcusable otherwise.
ComaDose
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada10357 Posts
September 26 2013 19:57 GMT
#2
that is quite funny 5/5 for the cork
BW pros training sc2 is like kiss making a dub step album.
Epishade
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
United States2267 Posts
September 26 2013 22:18 GMT
#3
Very well written. Did you write this or just find it?

Aside from some of the near-rhymes and sentence flow, it's still a very cute story.
Pinhead Larry in the streets, Dirty Dan in the sheets.
Umpteen
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United Kingdom1570 Posts
September 26 2013 22:58 GMT
#4
I wrote it for my daughter's Christmas card either last year or the year before.

But... 'near' rhymes?
The existence of a food chain is inescapable if we evolved unsupervised, and inexcusable otherwise.
Epishade
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
United States2267 Posts
September 26 2013 23:17 GMT
#5
On September 27 2013 07:58 Umpteen wrote:
I wrote it for my daughter's Christmas card either last year or the year before.

But... 'near' rhymes?


Squawk and Cork don't exactly fit together. It's close enough that it doesn't really stand out anyways.

Reading through it again, I thought there were more. That's the only instance of it though. Still, very nice writing and sounds exactly like something you'd see printed on an actual Christmas card.
Pinhead Larry in the streets, Dirty Dan in the sheets.
Umpteen
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United Kingdom1570 Posts
September 26 2013 23:28 GMT
#6
On September 27 2013 08:17 Epishade wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 27 2013 07:58 Umpteen wrote:
I wrote it for my daughter's Christmas card either last year or the year before.

But... 'near' rhymes?


Squawk and Cork don't exactly fit together. It's close enough that it doesn't really stand out anyways..


Ah - I think that's a pronunciation thing. In England, it's effectively "skwork". Glad you liked it anyway
The existence of a food chain is inescapable if we evolved unsupervised, and inexcusable otherwise.
slowbacontron
Profile Joined October 2012
United States7722 Posts
September 27 2013 03:49 GMT
#7
Great poem! But a buttplug? D: Scary
jjakji fan
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