EPTOn Character
My daddy once told me a little bit about character. He said it was the part of you that shows when you know nobody is looking. Character can be built by hard physical labor, he said. This is interesting to me since the beginning of the bible contains a piece where Adam is doomed to spend his time working, physical labor, in order to eat food. It's interesting once you think about why god would do such a thing in this scenario?
The conclusion I've accepted applies to taking care of someone more immature than yourself; if the one you're looking after misbehaves you ought to keep them busy after their punishment. They were likely misbehaving because they had no responsibilities to uphold. Imagine yourself as a kid. Now imagine yourself as a kid that always got what they wanted. Common sense dictates that you'd be spoiled to hell.
This relates to how I grew up; a fair amount of hard work and some responsibilities. I'm not exactly sure how much work I had to do in comparison to other people, as I'm very young myself. However, I do know that people don't act with character like my family taught me to.
I'm just at a point in my life where I'm experiencing some of the life lessons my father taught me. At the time I didn't believe in statements like "The world is full of lazy people, and you'll have an advantage by simply knowing how to work hard" (by world he meant the United States). I would always think to myself in response: "There's a lot of people in the world, how can so many be lazy? I should give them the benefit of the doubt, as that's how I would want others to treat me". Lots of people choose to mistreat others.
I'm always so afraid of lacking humbleness, afraid of building pride or conceit. However I can't help but worry that I'm just being vain. Should I really feel like good people are hard to come by? I don't know if I'm the one with problems, or if others are the ones with problems. I just hope others put effort into self-introspection as much I try to do.
Life Problem
My little sister has been mistreated. I don't know by whom or when, but something has happened to her. She's in her early teens and has taken a very drastic personality change. It's not just hormones, or so I fear. She has, on multiple occasions, accused others of mistreating or taking sexual advantage of her. The police have been involved in multiple scenarios, and her behavior has degraded so harshly she's now in juvenile detention as she was endangering my mother physically.
Something must have happened to her, but nobody knows what. She keeps lying with these crazy stories about molestation and rape. I can't but think she's calling out for help for a real situation that actually happened, but is too scared to come to conscious terms and face the real situation that came to pass.
I worry for her. She confided in me (about a supposed incident of rape) and I had no choice but to inform my mother. Living hundreds of miles away it's all I can do. Now she hates not only everyone in her immediate life, but me, her one sliver of trust she once held.
Free Will can Hurt
Fuckin dicks. I'm so tired of penises right now. Don't get me wrong, I'm fine with my penis, but Jesus Christ people need to keep this shit in their pants and out of their verbal daily life. There's been so much fucking drama in my life and it's all because other dudes choose not to control their own god damn desires.
I've made good choices and I've done what's right. However since we all free will, other people are fucking with my life and the people I care about. Hopefully this isn't a literal "fucking", but jesus you get the picture.
Worry
My real father is on drugs or something, who knows. He's abandoned all responsibilities in life and I'm afraid he's going to die. I don't hold resentment towards him, and once I graduate I can financially help the guy. I just hope he lasts.
Resentment
I'm quite annoyed with Christians in general. Sure I'm an INTP and care a lot about objectively pursuing many avenues of thought and possibilities, but that doesn't mean other people don't have to do this as well. If you're a Christian you should have a reasonable explanation of why you believe in your world view. You should not only have an emotional or intuitive explanation, but scientific and logical ones as well.
The bible states that you (the Christian in question) ought to study to yourself approved under god. Well? Go study. You have an obligation to answer the question of "why is your world view correct", and saying you "just believe" or "just have faith" isn't going to work. You need a reasonable explanation for why you have faith, something beyond "I feel it", because feelings are fallible. I can sit here and focus very hard and feel a slight burning sensation in my stomach. Does this mean I should believe my stomach contains a magic fire inside that purifies my soul and leads to my salvation? Feelings are fallible.
