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The Pitchfork Preserver, May 5 - Page 5

Blogs > heyoka
Post a Reply
Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Next All
MadProbe
Profile Joined February 2012
United States269 Posts
May 06 2013 21:36 GMT
#81
+ Show Spoiler +
On May 07 2013 03:46 Olex wrote:
Browder to Compete

In a surprise forum post, notable Blizzard figurehead Dustin Browder announced his intention to play in the as-yet-rumored Blizzard Cup open bracket. This marks an important change in Blizzard's long-time public stance, disallowing employees to actually play Blizzard games. A random player, Browder reports that preparation goes well, "There's a whole lot of room for development in the meta-game, right? Players are using just some of the tools in the arsenal but at the pro level we're just not seeing what our internal testing suggests should be the most stable playscape. I'm going to change that." Browder's manager and long-time bridge partner, David Kim, also provided this statement, "Yeah, we haven't seen Dusty in the office for a few weeks now. His away message on skype has been "I HAVE FOUND THE SECRET AND IT IS INDESTRUCTIBLE" for the last couple days and he's blowing through company keyboards. We're concerned, but his fierce competitive spirit is unmatched. Team Blizzard on the prowl, I guess."

Unforgiven

Since his defection to League earlier this year, Marcus "DJ Wheat" Wheat has been struggling to retain his position in the Starcraft community as slightly-older-dude-your-dad-can-relate-to-at-MLG. When asked about his original switch in a Skype interview, Wheat was unapologetic; "You gotta go where the money is, man. Look, I haven't done anything wrong by providing for my kids. MiniWheat's gotta eat." He understands however, as we all do, that League's emergence is short-lived. Recently, Riot announced that streams seem to have peaked, averaging just 400,000 concurrent viewers per hour, per event. As the ship abandons you will see other personalities continue to return, and even redefine themselves as true-blue SC2 fan boys. "I'm getting a Kerrigan tattoo on my bicep. Frankly, honestly, I've been thinking of getting it for a while. I fucking love SC2, man. I love it. It's the best. It's the only game. I love you guys, really. Please. I love you." The interview was cut short due to an upcoming League of Legends Tournament.


lol this is pretty good. u guys should make a 2nd issue.
Special Endrey
Profile Joined June 2010
Germany1929 Posts
May 06 2013 21:37 GMT
#82
thank you for this
This signature is ruining eSports - -Twitter: @SpecialEndrey
Heyoka
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Katowice25012 Posts
May 06 2013 21:59 GMT
#83
On May 06 2013 20:27 ejozl wrote:
Empire+Alliance+Moon reference is not getting enough credit


I'm glad someone enjoyed it, I fear I labored too much on the Moon thing and it never quite came together.
@RealHeyoka | ESL / DreamHack StarCraft Lead
RiceAgainst
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
United States1849 Posts
May 06 2013 22:04 GMT
#84
Hilarious!!! Haha, we want more!!!
AnachronisticAnarchy
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States2957 Posts
May 06 2013 22:08 GMT
#85
On May 06 2013 19:53 GaNgStaRR.ElV wrote:
Nice but don't really get the AZUBU digs.....


One day, Azubu came out of nowhere and invested more money into esports than almost anyone else. Since then, they have continued contributing enormous sums of money to various parts of the scene, for no obvious gain. Furthermore, despite being active for years, we know nothing of import about them.
Nothing.
It got to the point where people were making jokes about Azubu being a front for some drug lord who really likes Starcraft 2.
"How are you?" "I am fine, because it is not normal to scream in pain."
deth2munkies
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States4051 Posts
May 06 2013 22:23 GMT
#86
That's no (Z)Moon...

I gotta admit, this was awesome. I get the feeling I'm missing a few things given I haven't watched SC2 in a year or so
ejozl
Profile Joined October 2010
Denmark3343 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-06 23:15:01
May 06 2013 22:36 GMT
#87
That's no (Z)Moon...


It's a (P)Trap


Edit: TY guy underneath
SC2 Archon needs "Terrible, terrible damage" as one of it's quotes.
slowbacontron
Profile Joined October 2012
United States7722 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-05-06 22:47:59
May 06 2013 22:45 GMT
#88
On May 07 2013 07:36 ejozl wrote:
Show nested quote +
That's no (Z)Moon...


It's a http://www.teamliquid.net/tlpd/sc2-korean/players/618_Trap


Edit: Not sure, how to apply wikipage, like you did :D

Use the hydra icon above the text box! (P)Trap

Also, if you press the Quote button in the upper right corner of his post, you'll be able to see exactly what he wrote and have a convenient way to reply.
jjakji fan
Darkdwarf
Profile Blog Joined December 2012
Sweden960 Posts
May 06 2013 23:06 GMT
#89
Awesome :D
Teams: IM, Jin Air, Invictus || Players: Maru, GuMiho, INnoVation, Ryung, sOs, Squirtle, NaNiwa, Has, Zoun, Life, Rogue, Dark
Antimatterz
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States1010 Posts
May 07 2013 00:03 GMT
#90
So good, empire vs. alliance thing haha
"HotBid [11:45 AM]: i dunno i kinda like the big muta shooting smaller mutas out"
Oiseaux
Profile Joined May 2011
United States676 Posts
May 07 2013 00:06 GMT
#91
On May 06 2013 20:27 ejozl wrote:
Empire+Alliance+Moon reference is not getting enough credit


I'll admit I didn't get it until I saw this stringing everything together.

For sure this needs to be a regular thing.
"[S]o be ready to kiss a few donkeys with glued-on paper horns during your unicorn hunt." -Some stupid 4x4 magazine
Draxtier
Profile Joined April 2011
Canada10 Posts
May 07 2013 00:27 GMT
#92
I wasn't expecting much, but this was actually really funny.

Moar plz.
Aerisky
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
United States12129 Posts
May 07 2013 00:40 GMT
#93
This...this is just beautiful.

Thank you so much for bringing this too us, just laden with little funny things XD
Jim while Johnny had had had had had had had; had had had had the better effect on the teacher.
Pimpmuckl
Profile Joined March 2011
Germany528 Posts
May 07 2013 01:26 GMT
#94
Nomnomnom. 'S Scho Taschty, love it!
twitter.com/pimpmuckl
Brett
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
Australia3820 Posts
May 07 2013 02:44 GMT
#95
lol not bad
caradoc
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Canada3022 Posts
May 07 2013 04:07 GMT
#96
Terminated :D
Salvation a la mode and a cup of tea...
kochanfe
Profile Joined July 2011
Micronesia1338 Posts
May 07 2013 04:17 GMT
#97
OH MY GOD THIS IS AWESOME! xD
"The flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long." - Lao Tzu
kochanfe
Profile Joined July 2011
Micronesia1338 Posts
May 07 2013 04:24 GMT
#98
On May 07 2013 03:46 Olex wrote:
Browder to Compete

In a surprise forum post, notable Blizzard figurehead Dustin Browder announced his intention to play in the as-yet-rumored Blizzard Cup open bracket. This marks an important change in Blizzard's long-time public stance, disallowing employees to actually play Blizzard games. A random player, Browder reports that preparation goes well, "There's a whole lot of room for development in the meta-game, right? Players are using just some of the tools in the arsenal but at the pro level we're just not seeing what our internal testing suggests should be the most stable playscape. I'm going to change that." Browder's manager and long-time bridge partner, David Kim, also provided this statement, "Yeah, we haven't seen Dusty in the office for a few weeks now. His away message on skype has been "I HAVE FOUND THE SECRET AND IT IS INDESTRUCTIBLE" for the last couple days and he's blowing through company keyboards. We're concerned, but his fierce competitive spirit is unmatched. Team Blizzard on the prowl, I guess."

Unforgiven

Since his defection to League earlier this year, Marcus "DJ Wheat" Wheat has been struggling to retain his position in the Starcraft community as slightly-older-dude-your-dad-can-relate-to-at-MLG. When asked about his original switch in a Skype interview, Wheat was unapologetic; "You gotta go where the money is, man. Look, I haven't done anything wrong by providing for my kids. MiniWheat's gotta eat." He understands however, as we all do, that League's emergence is short-lived. Recently, Riot announced that streams seem to have peaked, averaging just 400,000 concurrent viewers per hour, per event. As the ship abandons you will see other personalities continue to return, and even redefine themselves as true-blue SC2 fan boys. "I'm getting a Kerrigan tattoo on my bicep. Frankly, honestly, I've been thinking of getting it for a while. I fucking love SC2, man. I love it. It's the best. It's the only game. I love you guys, really. Please. I love you." The interview was cut short due to an upcoming League of Legends Tournament.

Pretty funny but not gut-busting like the OP
"The flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long." - Lao Tzu
Jeremy Reimer
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Canada968 Posts
May 07 2013 05:40 GMT
#99
Holy crap, I am laughing uncontrollably at the OP. Please make more of these!
"Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere." -- Carl Sagan
Like classic sci-fi and space opera? Check out my author page on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Jeremy-Reimer/e/B007CMQGI4/
Fluffboll
Profile Joined May 2011
Sweden516 Posts
May 07 2013 08:27 GMT
#100
This is great, love it! :D
You need to construct additional pylons.
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