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The Pitchfork Preserver, May 5 - Page 4

Blogs > heyoka
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Kaelaris
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United Kingdom788 Posts
May 06 2013 16:35 GMT
#61
I can confirm the piece regarding Bly and HasuObs is NOT made up - I was close to suffering from brain Haemorrhage whilst casting the game in question.

RIP in Pieces Bly :<
CommentatorESL Commentator ♞ Facebook.com/Kaelaris ♞ Twitter.com/Kaelaris ♞ Youtube.com/Kaelaris ♞ Twitch.tv/Kaelaris
Olli
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
Austria24422 Posts
May 06 2013 16:36 GMT
#62
LOL this made my day.
Administrator"Declaring anything a disaster because aLive popped up out of nowhere is just downright silly."
Plansix
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
United States60190 Posts
May 06 2013 16:53 GMT
#63
Six Flags and GSL - "told fans to look forward to new booth technology allowing competitors to produce and control troops while enjoying stomach-wrenching undulations of the tilt-a-whirl".

Nearly spewed my lunch onto the screen at work. Well done.
I have the Honor to be your Obedient Servant, P.6
TL+ Member
FakePseudo
Profile Joined January 2012
Belgium716 Posts
May 06 2013 16:53 GMT
#64
5/5 Great read, although I didn't get the treat to watch Hasuobs-Bly
I am the 0.0007% /forum/viewpost.php?post_id=17208334|| Big Black Women Vocals Is Like Porn to my Ears ||San Antonio Spurs|Boston Celtics||#1EZToss Hater;
DavoS
Profile Blog Joined October 2012
United States4605 Posts
May 06 2013 16:59 GMT
#65
Hilarious, I love the bit about the robot
"KDA is actually the most useless stat in the game" Aui_2000
ChriS-X
Profile Joined June 2011
Malaysia1374 Posts
May 06 2013 17:11 GMT
#66
Organ Planning ID Change to Harpsichord


oh god my insides
ggofthejungle
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Romania392 Posts
May 06 2013 17:57 GMT
#67
Someone please make a compilation of links that are being parodied here
zul
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Germany5427 Posts
May 06 2013 18:33 GMT
#68
Imagine Jaedong in his chair. XD
keep it deep! @zulison
Rustug
Profile Joined October 2010
1488 Posts
May 06 2013 18:42 GMT
#69
If HasuObs and Thorzain should ever meet on the field of battle.... God help us all... It will be the 80 Years war all over again.

+ Show Spoiler +
For reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eighty_Years'_War
Curious that we spend more time congratulating people who have succeeded than encouraging people who have not. 파이팅! ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ"
llIH
Profile Joined June 2011
Norway2147 Posts
May 06 2013 18:43 GMT
#70
Cool! :D
Olex
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States135 Posts
May 06 2013 18:46 GMT
#71
Browder to Compete

In a surprise forum post, notable Blizzard figurehead Dustin Browder announced his intention to play in the as-yet-rumored Blizzard Cup open bracket. This marks an important change in Blizzard's long-time public stance, disallowing employees to actually play Blizzard games. A random player, Browder reports that preparation goes well, "There's a whole lot of room for development in the meta-game, right? Players are using just some of the tools in the arsenal but at the pro level we're just not seeing what our internal testing suggests should be the most stable playscape. I'm going to change that." Browder's manager and long-time bridge partner, David Kim, also provided this statement, "Yeah, we haven't seen Dusty in the office for a few weeks now. His away message on skype has been "I HAVE FOUND THE SECRET AND IT IS INDESTRUCTIBLE" for the last couple days and he's blowing through company keyboards. We're concerned, but his fierce competitive spirit is unmatched. Team Blizzard on the prowl, I guess."

Unforgiven

Since his defection to League earlier this year, Marcus "DJ Wheat" Wheat has been struggling to retain his position in the Starcraft community as slightly-older-dude-your-dad-can-relate-to-at-MLG. When asked about his original switch in a Skype interview, Wheat was unapologetic; "You gotta go where the money is, man. Look, I haven't done anything wrong by providing for my kids. MiniWheat's gotta eat." He understands however, as we all do, that League's emergence is short-lived. Recently, Riot announced that streams seem to have peaked, averaging just 400,000 concurrent viewers per hour, per event. As the ship abandons you will see other personalities continue to return, and even redefine themselves as true-blue SC2 fan boys. "I'm getting a Kerrigan tattoo on my bicep. Frankly, honestly, I've been thinking of getting it for a while. I fucking love SC2, man. I love it. It's the best. It's the only game. I love you guys, really. Please. I love you." The interview was cut short due to an upcoming League of Legends Tournament.
Bugs in amber
iMOOrtal
Profile Joined March 2013
Canada144 Posts
May 06 2013 18:55 GMT
#72
Wow, that was sooooo entertaining. Please make more of these!!
Nine to Five? Or, Five to Nine?
felisconcolori
Profile Blog Joined October 2011
United States6169 Posts
May 06 2013 19:16 GMT
#73
On May 06 2013 09:23 Myles wrote:
Show nested quote +
Thorzain commented, "I think Hasuobs attacked a little too early and should have built on top of his lead."


Too good. I lost it there.


Ditto. This post is epically wonderful, and should be, if not already, spotlighted the hell out of - it's hysterically funny.
Yes, I email sponsors... to thank them. Don't post drunk, kids. My king, what has become of you?
DidYuhim
Profile Joined September 2011
Ukraine1905 Posts
May 06 2013 19:21 GMT
#74
I didn't get the Azubu company thing
JustPassingBy
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
10776 Posts
May 06 2013 19:31 GMT
#75
This needs to become a regular! 5/5
Shellshock
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States97277 Posts
May 06 2013 19:39 GMT
#76
Haha hilarious. Hopefully there will be more ^^
Moderatorhttp://i.imgur.com/U4xwqmD.png
TL+ Member
LuckyMacro
Profile Joined July 2010
United States1482 Posts
May 06 2013 19:47 GMT
#77
Make this a regular thing please? <3 <3 <3
KalWarkov
Profile Blog Joined December 2011
Germany4126 Posts
May 06 2013 19:50 GMT
#78
god the hasuobs thing with the thorzain line is so awesome, i cant stop laughing :D
DiaBoLuS ** Sc2 - Protoss: 16x GM | Dota2 - Offlane Immortal | Wc3 - Undead decent level | Diablo nerd | Chess / Magnus fanboy | BVB | Agnostic***
Rainman5419
Profile Joined January 2011
United States92 Posts
May 06 2013 20:05 GMT
#79
Jaedong in Shame Chair After Losing to White Man


Bahaha this whole article was pretty funny.
Member of UNT CSL, Season 5 CSL Champs! "The true test of a man’s character is what he does when no one is watching." -John Wooden
mcmartini
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
Australia1972 Posts
May 06 2013 21:21 GMT
#80
5/5 would love to see more of these as everyone before me has stated also. Keep up the good work guys
I just want to say I have 370 APM - Liquid'Tyler SotG 14-12-2011 "I mean it's too bad you can't be paid to be, you know, a chicken shit fucking whiny bitch on the internet or we would have lots of rich community members" Nick "Tasteless" Plott
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