How to find a husband who is a breadwinner. The first thing to be aware of is that everyone looks like a breadwinner in their twenties. Because most salaries are going up up up because there is nowhere to go but up when you start at entry level. And most people can get jobs pretty easily when their salary is not very high. But at some point, the salary gets high enough that you have to actually be good at what you do to continue getting jobs at that salary. Then some people start getting stuck and they have to rethink what they thought they could accomplish.
Other people simply cannot move up. They are as far up as they will go. This happens to most people around age 30. Definitely by 35. So the best thing to do is to assume anyone over 30 is making as much as they will make in their life. This is playing it safe, but better safe than sorry, right? (By age 40 almost no one’s salary increases.)
And there you go. Blunt advice on making love work. Get rich or die trying.
It's all about the money, at the end of the day. There are four options presented: the woman makes money, both make money (and your kids will hate you unless you shell out for a nanny), the man makes money, or you live in denial.
But nah, you're a big boy. You can take care of her. Because hey--you give, right? You're a giver, not a selfish good-for-nothing bastard. You're not a 窝囊废.
That career you wanted as a screenwriter or painter or game designer? Scrap it, kiddo. Put on a suit, and bend over. And you gotta feel proud doing it or else they tag you for a lack of enthusiasm. And get good at it. Feel that rush as those numbers accumulate in your bank account and you use it to snag that undergrad who interned at your place last fall and fell asleep on your couch after a taking a ride home with you during a recruiting dinner.
Give for your kids. Give for your wife, for your parents. Wear yourself out on the treadmill, reach for that c-suite by calling out other people for the same bullshit you're guilty of, and enjoy the amazing feeling of watching other people spend your money on private school, salons, and Prada bags. Spend money on season tickets and a nice ride, try to feel young again. Get a mistress. Get a divorce. Pay alimony. Feel like a man doing it, because hey, that's what real men do. That's what your dad did when you were sixteen, right?
Get older, get worn out. Let those late nights and that toxic mix of 11pm takeout, expensed dinners, and all-night client networking hangovers catch up to you. Get cancer, heart disease, or maybe both if you're a real go getter and let go at age 61.
And at the end of the day, pick up that paintbrush or keyboard or football that used to give you so much joy, and weep. Weep, knowing that you taught your sons and daughters nothing but to keep playing the game as you played it. Weep, knowing that everyone you ever loved is about to fight tooth and nail with each other for whatever earthly legacy you have accumulated. Weep, knowing that the clock doesn't run backward and that the game... the game was rigged from the start.
Weep, knowing that good men have always wept for this earth, without really knowing why.
Way to cherry pick a single point of the author's argument.
The subtitles listed BEFORE that one are called "Scenario 1: Be a Breadwinner [referring to the woman]" and "Breadwinner option 1: Marry a stay-at-home dad."
Also with the advent of the internet if you are the most passionate and/or the most talented in a field you often have the ability to make a living off of it.
Well written even if a little nihilistic. There are masses of people who live that exact way. I guess the goal is to get a fulfilling life but also get dem moneyz.
Serious question, why do you read this trash? Is that really who people turn to for advice on potential marriage partners, cause its terrible, life isn't that easy to break down into what your personality types are, and kids who have parents who work full time don't just hate their parents.
I am pretty sure you are approaching this as bad advice, but seriously why wasteyour time reading that crap.
On January 11 2013 10:26 Shady Sands wrote:Get older, get worn out. Let those late nights and that toxic mix of 11pm takeout, expensed dinners, and all-night client networking hangovers catch up to you. Get cancer, heart disease, or maybe both if you're a real go getter and let go at age 61.
And at the end of the day, pick up that paintbrush or keyboard or football that used to give you so much joy, and weep. Weep, knowing that you taught your sons and daughters nothing but to keep playing the game as you played it. Weep, knowing that everyone you ever loved is about to fight tooth and nail with each other for whatever earthly legacy you have accumulated. Weep, knowing that the clock doesn't run backward and that the game... the game was rigged from the start.
Speaking as someone in a high-personal-satisfaction, low-chance-of-renumeration field, I've got to say that getting old and worn out is pretty much unavoidable. And as you get older without any money or financial security, those self-doubts, missed opportunities, and regrets seem to pile up pretty fast as well.
On January 11 2013 10:26 Shady Sands wrote:Get older, get worn out. Let those late nights and that toxic mix of 11pm takeout, expensed dinners, and all-night client networking hangovers catch up to you. Get cancer, heart disease, or maybe both if you're a real go getter and let go at age 61.
And at the end of the day, pick up that paintbrush or keyboard or football that used to give you so much joy, and weep. Weep, knowing that you taught your sons and daughters nothing but to keep playing the game as you played it. Weep, knowing that everyone you ever loved is about to fight tooth and nail with each other for whatever earthly legacy you have accumulated. Weep, knowing that the clock doesn't run backward and that the game... the game was rigged from the start.
Speaking as someone in a high-personal-satisfaction, low-chance-of-renumeration field, I've got to say that getting old and worn out is pretty much unavoidable. And as you get older without any money or financial security, those self-doubts, missed opportunities, and regrets seem to pile up pretty fast as well.
I'm not very far along in my current field, but as someone who is in a low personal satisfaction, high chance of remuneration field, I fear all the same things you fear. Even more so because my SO has the same drive and motivation.
I just skimmed a bunch of her stuff to see if I could find something that wasn't completely shallow.
"Blueprint for a Woman's Life" 1. Do less homework. 2. Get plastic surgery. 3. Go to business school right out of the gate. 4. Start early looking for a husband seriously. 5. Milk maternity leave for all it’s worth. 6. Guard your marriage obsessively. (Stay-at-home moms keep marriages together more effectively) 7. Practice austerity. (Austerity is not fun) 8. Do a startup with a guy. 9. If you can’t get men to do a startup with you, do a lifestyle business. 10. Homeschool. Your kids will be screwed if you don’t. (This is an advice tip she just realized this month and hasn't had enough time to mull it over) 11. Spend money on household help and Botox to keep more doors open longer. (So the more money to spend to get people to help you with your kids, the more time and energy you’ll have to help yourself. ) 12. Break the mold in your 40s. (If you do nothing else, figure out how to have a lot of sex to leverage your hard-earned talent.)
WOW... So basically she's saying women should stay at home to be their husband's personal secretary and so their kids can be homeschooled, but then she's gonna pay someone else to teach them. In college, the woman shouldn't focus on her degree, but she should get a fake face and a fake chest. Then, the woman should go to business school so she can find a guy doing a startup (i.e. someone like Steve Jobs) Then she should have kids and milk maternity leave, and pay other people to do housework and raise her kids. Then get Botox and help yourself, oh and have a lot of sex to leverage your hard-earned sex-talents.
I can't believe people are taking advice from this person. This doesn't sound like someone who is trying to better herself. This sounds like a lazy person who spent her college money on a fake body which she then used to have the rest of her life paid for her by a rich guy.
"Blueprint for a Woman's Life" 1. Do less homework. 2. Get plastic surgery. 3. Go to business school right out of the gate. 4. Start early looking for a husband seriously. 5. Milk maternity leave for all it’s worth. 6. Guard your marriage obsessively. (Stay-at-home moms keep marriages together more effectively) 7. Practice austerity. (Austerity is not fun) 8. Do a startup with a guy. 9. If you can’t get men to do a startup with you, do a lifestyle business. 10. Homeschool. Your kids will be screwed if you don’t. (This is an advice tip she just realized this month and hasn't had enough time to mull it over) 11. Spend money on household help and Botox to keep more doors open longer. (So the more money to spend to get people to help you with your kids, the more time and energy you’ll have to help yourself. ) 12. Break the mold in your 40s. (If you do nothing else, figure out how to have a lot of sex to leverage your hard-earned talent.)
WOW... So basically she's saying women should stay at home to be their husband's personal secretary and so their kids can be homeschooled, but then she's gonna pay someone else to teach them. In college, the woman shouldn't focus on her degree, but she should get a fake face and a fake chest. Then, the woman should go to business school so she can find a guy doing a startup (i.e. someone like Steve Jobs) Then she should have kids and milk maternity leave, and pay other people to do housework and raise her kids. Then get Botox and help yourself, oh and have a lot of sex to leverage your hard-earned sex-talents.
I can't believe people are taking advice from this person. This doesn't sound like someone who is trying to better herself. This sounds like a lazy person who spent her college money on a fake body which she then used to have the rest of her life paid for her by a rich guy.
I am so mad.
You'd be surprised how many people are like her. And how many different languages these girls can speak T_T
Someone could write an equally satirical piece on "following your dreams" and how it ends with you a destitute loner who's given everything to his field and gotten nothing in return. You can be unhappy and miserable no matter what path you choose in life. Wealth doesn't automatically mean embracing its more dysfunctional trappings, any more sticking to that art or keyboard is an automatic formula for happiness.
What hurts in either case is not controlling your life, not taking responsibly for avoiding being saddled with a spoiled life partner. Things like that. Money only magnifies the bitter irony of quiet desperation. Has little to do with causing it.
Shady writes a lot of interesting things and he is usually spot on.
But I am going to be honest here - even though you might not like it.
This woman's blog is spot on, no sarcasm. It is upsetting and certainly ugly but also quite sound. This is a lot like women's real politik. As a man reading it I am quite offended but I won't let that cloud my judgement. While not ideal, this blueprint is optimal.
On January 11 2013 15:20 Ximeng wrote: Shady writes a lot of interesting things and he is usually spot on.
But I am going to be honest here - even though you might not like it.
This woman's blog is spot on, no sarcasm. It is upsetting and certainly ugly but also quite sound. This is a lot like women's real politik. As a man reading it I am quite offended but I won't let that cloud my judgement. While not ideal, this blueprint is optimal.
....really? because i showed this to my wife to get her opinion on it and she said that is the worst piece of garbage shes ever read and that it is a blue print to ruining your life. Pretty much 99% of the advice is ment for gold diggers and people who like to walk a fine line between corporate fraud and out right lying (it is best to milk maternity leave for as long as possible so you can get paid without doing your job, while the legal department is deciding whether to fire you or not, you can draw a paycheck the whole time. Its great to start up a business even if you don't have any intentions of creating revenue because you can draw a salary until the investors stop investing.)
Not to mention the straight gold digging advice, its best to attend business school early on and only after you've had face and chest plastic surgery.............
The blue print is far from optimal if you actually want to be considered, you know, a human being.
On January 11 2013 15:20 Ximeng wrote: Shady writes a lot of interesting things and he is usually spot on.
But I am going to be honest here - even though you might not like it.
This woman's blog is spot on, no sarcasm. It is upsetting and certainly ugly but also quite sound. This is a lot like women's real politik. As a man reading it I am quite offended but I won't let that cloud my judgement. While not ideal, this blueprint is optimal.
....really? because i showed this to my wife to get her opinion on it and she said that is the worst piece of garbage shes ever read and that it is a blue print to ruining your life. Pretty much 99% of the advice is ment for gold diggers and people who like to walk a fine line between corporate fraud and out right lying (it is best to milk maternity leave for as long as possible so you can get paid without doing your job, while the legal department is deciding whether to fire you or not, you can draw a paycheck the whole time. Its great to start up a business even if you don't have any intentions of creating revenue because you can draw a salary until the investors stop investing.)
Not to mention the straight gold digging advice, its best to attend business school early on and only after you've had face and chest plastic surgery.............
The blue print is far from optimal if you actually want to be considered, you know, a human being.
Although I don't agree with the dishonesty, if a woman wants to have a family its far more optimal to focus on her looks and personality first and her career second. Men don't value a woman's career as much as her looks and personality. Men will even go as far as just valuing women on appearances. Yes there will always be exceptions to the rule but I'm referring to the majority here.
On January 11 2013 14:47 Aerisky wrote: Oh wow, that lady's blog's advice/material is really depressing.
Interesting satiric/jaded take on this. :x
"Jaded" is exactly the word I was thinking of while I was reading this. It saddens me that people have given up on the world so much as to actually believe this mess.
go to work, send your kids to school, follow fashion, act normal, walk on the pavement, watch TV, save for your old age, obey the law Repeat after me: I am free
I think What the OP was trying to foculize attention on was How some people can become a little to much lobotomized. Thus one must find the balance in life..
On January 11 2013 23:06 Schplyok wrote: go to work, send your kids to school, follow fashion, act normal, walk on the pavement, watch TV, save for your old age, obey the law Repeat after me: I am free
You're entirely welcome to not do any of those.
'course, if you get hit by a car while not walking on the pavement, it's your own fault.
On January 11 2013 23:06 Schplyok wrote: go to work, send your kids to school, follow fashion, act normal, walk on the pavement, watch TV, save for your old age, obey the law Repeat after me: I am free
But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?
On January 11 2013 23:06 Schplyok wrote: go to work, send your kids to school, follow fashion, act normal, walk on the pavement, watch TV, save for your old age, obey the law Repeat after me: I am free
We are free to do things differently. The thing is that this normal path of life is, for most people, the most conducive to get what we want: financial stability, a family, friends, acceptance by society, comfort, etc. Alternate paths may take more effort, or risk, or whatever.
Think of it as a build order. You are of course free to blaze your own path, but we advise most players to follow the build order then vary according to circumstances of the game right?
On January 11 2013 23:06 Schplyok wrote: go to work, send your kids to school, follow fashion, act normal, walk on the pavement, watch TV, save for your old age, obey the law Repeat after me: I am free
Wander through the woods, search desperately for edible forage, build a shitty lean-to out of sticks, get killed by a bear. Repeat after me: Living in society is so hard, oh is it so hard.
On January 11 2013 23:06 Schplyok wrote: go to work, send your kids to school, follow fashion, act normal, walk on the pavement, watch TV, save for your old age, obey the law Repeat after me: I am free
Wander through the woods, search desperately for edible forage, build a shitty lean-to out of sticks, get killed by a bear. Repeat after me: Living in society is so hard, oh is it so hard.
Or you could create revenue streams so you don't have to work, teach your kids how to make money without getting a job so they don't have to go to school past high school, wear what you want and do what you want. You can live in society without being a wage slave.
On January 11 2013 23:06 Schplyok wrote: go to work, send your kids to school, follow fashion, act normal, walk on the pavement, watch TV, save for your old age, obey the law Repeat after me: I am free
Wander through the woods, search desperately for edible forage, build a shitty lean-to out of sticks, get killed by a bear. Repeat after me: Living in society is so hard, oh is it so hard.
Or you could create revenue streams so you don't have to work, teach your kids how to make money without getting a job so they don't have to go to school past high school, wear what you want and do what you want. You can live in society without being a wage slave.
As someone who gets paid both to work out and read books, I'm right there with ya. The narrative of a hope crushing society is only as meaningful as one makes it.
On January 12 2013 05:08 hp.Shell wrote: Or you could create revenue streams so you don't have to work, teach your kids how to make money without getting a job so they don't have to go to school past high school, wear what you want and do what you want. You can live in society without being a wage slave.
On January 12 2013 05:15 farvacola wrote: As someone who gets paid both to work out and read books, I'm right there with ya. The narrative of a hope crushing society is only as meaningful as one makes it.
You wrote that in the style of John Steinbeck (at least I think that was in the style of John Steinbeck ).
It's really sad, isn't it? I've always wanted to be a doctor (at least as long as I can remember and I'm 15 atm) but it seems like everyone's game is to just make as much money as possible. Happiness is irrelevant, self worth is irrelevant, the only thing that counts is that you "succeed." So many people are depressed because of this nowadays, and there's no way for you to not get wrapped up in this.
I remember reading somewhere that sometimes advice is intentionally bad so that the readers keep coming back for more.
I don't disagree with the breadwinner thing though... money has always been important. From the way I was raised anyways... But I think there's a balance that we all have to find? As a man anyway, I do want to make money not just for the sake of money but to be successful in a way... and I'm sure it could only help attract the opposite sex.
With that being said, there are passions that give me great joy that don't bring in money. I love to write screenplays just for the sake of writing them, to get my imagination out of my head and on paper.
I love to hip hop dance; great exercise, great music, get to meet new people every class.
I think if we find something we're passionate about and we do it and do it well, that alone would make us attractive. But in relationship to the article the OP posted; if a breadwinner is what the individual is looking for, there has to be a balance between the passion and the money; a compromise somewhere.
Thinking and leaning on either direction too much wouldn't work out for either side. I think...
On January 12 2013 06:56 jjun212 wrote: I remember reading somewhere that sometimes advice is intentionally bad so that the readers keep coming back for more.
Ohhh, I looked at it again and she is a life coach (read: scammer). In that context all of that advice makes more sense. Who in their right mind would advise people to homeschool their kids and chose partner after personality types? Awful awful advice. "Oh I really like you, but your personality type is statistically less likely to earn a high income, so we can't stay together". And only in very rare circumstances should someone ever consider homeschooling, unless I am overestimating the US education system.
She also just sounds like a control freak, that has to control everything in life. That can only go wrong.
Depends how you look at it. A lot of men are happy to be providers, that's what they're good at and what gives them satisfaction, it's no surprise if you know anything about evolution.
On January 12 2013 07:24 h3r1n6 wrote: And only in very rare circumstances should someone ever consider homeschooling, unless I am overestimating the US education system.
In a lot of parts of the country the education system is definitely bad enough that you wouldn't want your kids going to the public schools, but if you're wealthy enough that you have the option to homeschool, private school is better anyway. Generally only crazy people homeschool because they don't want their kids to learn evolution and stuff like that.
On January 12 2013 07:24 h3r1n6 wrote: And only in very rare circumstances should someone ever consider homeschooling, unless I am overestimating the US education system.
In a lot of parts of the country the education system is definitely bad enough that you wouldn't want your kids going to the public schools, but if you're wealthy enough that you have the option to homeschool, private school is better anyway. Generally only crazy people homeschool because they don't want their kids to learn evolution and stuff like that.
I know some parents who thought they were smarter than their kids' teachers who would homeschool. It happens, even in places like NYC/NJ/Boston/Bay Area where there are excellent public school available
On January 12 2013 07:24 h3r1n6 wrote: And only in very rare circumstances should someone ever consider homeschooling, unless I am overestimating the US education system.
In a lot of parts of the country the education system is definitely bad enough that you wouldn't want your kids going to the public schools, but if you're wealthy enough that you have the option to homeschool, private school is better anyway. Generally only crazy people homeschool because they don't want their kids to learn evolution and stuff like that.
I know some parents who thought they were smarter than their kids' teachers who would homeschool. It happens, even in places like NYC/NJ/Boston/Bay Area where there are excellent public school available
I think you have to have a sort of skewed sense of reality if you think you can do a better job than professionals at educating your kids, though. If you wanna send your kids to private schools, fine (and, again, if you can afford to stay home with your kids, you can probably afford to send them to private school).
edit: and that's ignoring the whole process of socialization that occurs in schools. home-schooled kids test really well and are generally very smart, I'm not arguing that, but you have to keep social stuff in mind.
edit x2: and the point I was trying to make is that "I am smarter than the teachers and therefore I'm going to teach my kid myself" is a special brand of crazy that falls under "only crazy people homeschool."
I'm sorry but this blog is really just a pity party with very little basis in reality. That woman's blog and the views shared in this blog seem to me like people who lack the creativity, courage, and talent to blaze their own path. So instead they follow the trite, well-worn path and then complain about how it's trite and well-worn. There are a million ways to get paid in this world. Not all of them involve banking or whoring.
And even if you're not smart or talented enough to be successful financially in another way, I know plenty of people who have happy, successful relationships without making much money. Three of my guy friends have extremely hot wives (well two of them did before the wives had kids) and their relationships are still rock solid. The guys are rather handsome as well and are socially well adjusted, but beyond that they don't make much money. 50K - 70K is their salary range.
And even beyond that, there is nobody holding a gun to your head saying you need to adhere to consumerist culture. Not every girl wants Prada bags. Not every guy even wants a girl in his life. Not everyone wants kids. Not everyone cares about their kids getting world class educations or going to Ivy League schools. Just seems like a very narrow, shallow viewpoint being espoused here, crying about how there's no other way, when in fact there are millions of ways to experience life, while only one among the shittiest of them is being represented here.
On January 12 2013 17:53 rezoacken wrote: And your purpose as a man is to avoid such women.
Have fun
Most guys aren't that great at it. Hence, divorce.
One thing I've never understood is why the huge stigma attached to it. Everyone makes mistakes, but why is marriage the one mistake that folks expect you to bear for the rest of your life?
On January 12 2013 17:53 rezoacken wrote: And your purpose as a man is to avoid such women.
Have fun
Most guys aren't that great at it. Hence, divorce.
One thing I've never understood is why the huge stigma attached to it. Everyone makes mistakes, but why is marriage the one mistake that folks expect you to bear for the rest of your life?
I don't know either. I don't care if people divorce that seems a normal thing to me, it just didn't work out big deal move on. I just feel sad for the kids (and even then, they won't turn into psychos and things could be worse... like your dad staying with your mom but beating her up hey ?).
I also think marriage is archaic anyway and won't marry, ever; even though my gf is pissed by me not wanting marriage. But I don't care, I don't share the conviction that this is necessary in the 21th century. If that's enough for her to leave me, so be it, I,m not a travesty.
On January 12 2013 17:53 rezoacken wrote: And your purpose as a man is to avoid such women.
Have fun
Most guys aren't that great at it. Hence, divorce.
One thing I've never understood is why the huge stigma attached to it. Everyone makes mistakes, but why is marriage the one mistake that folks expect you to bear for the rest of your life?
I don't know either. I don't care if people divorce that seems a normal thing to me, it just didn't work out big deal move on. I just feel sad for the kids (and even then, they won't turn into psychos and things could be worse... like your dad staying with your mom but beating her up hey ?).
I also think marriage is archaic anyway and won't marry, ever; even though my gf is pissed by me not wanting marriage. But I don't care, I don't share the conviction that this is necessary in the 21th century. If that's enough for her to leave me, so be it, I,m not a travesty.
My last ex tried to get pregnant when I told her I didn't want to marry her by age 25. When I found out she wasn't taking the pill and called her out on it, she broke up with me. Consider yourself lucky
On January 12 2013 17:53 rezoacken wrote: And your purpose as a man is to avoid such women.
Have fun
Most guys aren't that great at it. Hence, divorce.
One thing I've never understood is why the huge stigma attached to it. Everyone makes mistakes, but why is marriage the one mistake that folks expect you to bear for the rest of your life?
I don't know either. I don't care if people divorce that seems a normal thing to me, it just didn't work out big deal move on. I just feel sad for the kids (and even then, they won't turn into psychos and things could be worse... like your dad staying with your mom but beating her up hey ?).
I also think marriage is archaic anyway and won't marry, ever; even though my gf is pissed by me not wanting marriage. But I don't care, I don't share the conviction that this is necessary in the 21th century. If that's enough for her to leave me, so be it, I,m not a travesty.
My last ex tried to get pregnant when I told her I didn't want to marry her by age 25. When I found out she wasn't taking the pill and called her out on it, she broke up with me. Consider yourself lucky
You know, that should be considered child abuse. To knowingly try to get pregnant without the father in the know about it. The start of their lives will be built on the parents inability to trust each other among other things such as single parents and alimony and spending child support checks entirely on shoes. (you rage, you lose.)
Or at least, they should consider to consider it child abuse.
On January 11 2013 15:20 Ximeng wrote: Shady writes a lot of interesting things and he is usually spot on.
But I am going to be honest here - even though you might not like it.
This woman's blog is spot on, no sarcasm. It is upsetting and certainly ugly but also quite sound. This is a lot like women's real politik. As a man reading it I am quite offended but I won't let that cloud my judgement. While not ideal, this blueprint is optimal.
....really? because i showed this to my wife to get her opinion on it and she said that is the worst piece of garbage shes ever read and that it is a blue print to ruining your life. Pretty much 99% of the advice is ment for gold diggers and people who like to walk a fine line between corporate fraud and out right lying (it is best to milk maternity leave for as long as possible so you can get paid without doing your job, while the legal department is deciding whether to fire you or not, you can draw a paycheck the whole time. Its great to start up a business even if you don't have any intentions of creating revenue because you can draw a salary until the investors stop investing.)
Not to mention the straight gold digging advice, its best to attend business school early on and only after you've had face and chest plastic surgery.............
The blue print is far from optimal if you actually want to be considered, you know, a human being.
.... err they don't want to be considered as human beings. They want to be trophies.
There's one point in the article that I really agree with: one person should stay at home if possible.
I'm pretty sure I will be able to comfortably provide for myself and my family, but at the same time, I have no problems staying and home and take care of my children while my future wife provides.
On January 12 2013 17:53 rezoacken wrote: And your purpose as a man is to avoid such women.
Have fun
Most guys aren't that great at it. Hence, divorce.
One thing I've never understood is why the huge stigma attached to it. Everyone makes mistakes, but why is marriage the one mistake that folks expect you to bear for the rest of your life?
I don't know either. I don't care if people divorce that seems a normal thing to me, it just didn't work out big deal move on. I just feel sad for the kids (and even then, they won't turn into psychos and things could be worse... like your dad staying with your mom but beating her up hey ?).
I also think marriage is archaic anyway and won't marry, ever; even though my gf is pissed by me not wanting marriage. But I don't care, I don't share the conviction that this is necessary in the 21th century. If that's enough for her to leave me, so be it, I,m not a travesty.
My last ex tried to get pregnant when I told her I didn't want to marry her by age 25. When I found out she wasn't taking the pill and called her out on it, she broke up with me. Consider yourself lucky
I would rather say you were unlucky. As far as I'm aware of, what you experienced isn't the norm. Also, maybe I'm blind but I know my gf enough so that she would never do something like that.
I feel like the best part of shady blogs isn't what he's writing about and whatever point there is to it. It's just enjoying the read 'cause that's stylish writing.
Didn't read her article, don't plan to. I wouldn't want to taint that moment.
On January 12 2013 07:24 h3r1n6 wrote: And only in very rare circumstances should someone ever consider homeschooling, unless I am overestimating the US education system.
In a lot of parts of the country the education system is definitely bad enough that you wouldn't want your kids going to the public schools, but if you're wealthy enough that you have the option to homeschool, private school is better anyway. Generally only crazy people homeschool because they don't want their kids to learn evolution and stuff like that.
I know some parents who thought they were smarter than their kids' teachers who would homeschool. It happens, even in places like NYC/NJ/Boston/Bay Area where there are excellent public school available
I think you have to have a sort of skewed sense of reality if you think you can do a better job than professionals at educating your kids, though. If you wanna send your kids to private schools, fine (and, again, if you can afford to stay home with your kids, you can probably afford to send them to private school).
edit: and that's ignoring the whole process of socialization that occurs in schools. home-schooled kids test really well and are generally very smart, I'm not arguing that, but you have to keep social stuff in mind.
edit x2: and the point I was trying to make is that "I am smarter than the teachers and therefore I'm going to teach my kid myself" is a special brand of crazy that falls under "only crazy people homeschool."
Teachers are professionals at controlling children, not necessarily at educating them. Furthermore, teacher:student ratios are generally much lower than parent:child ratios... and a good textbook beats an average teacher.
On January 12 2013 05:08 hp.Shell wrote: Or you could create revenue streams so you don't have to work, teach your kids how to make money without getting a job so they don't have to go to school past high school, wear what you want and do what you want. You can live in society without being a wage slave.
On January 12 2013 05:15 farvacola wrote: As someone who gets paid both to work out and read books, I'm right there with ya. The narrative of a hope crushing society is only as meaningful as one makes it.
I'm having trouble telling the difference between this woman and a cell of Grey Goo
gather resources and spawn and teach my spawn to gather resources and spawn and teach my spawn to gather resources and spawn and teach my spawn to gather resources and spawn and teach my spawn to...
Here's a fun thought... "It's all retch and no vomit"
On January 14 2013 06:15 Dapper_Cad wrote: I'm having trouble telling the difference between this woman and a cell of Grey Goo
gather resources and spawn and teach my spawn to gather resources and spawn and teach my spawn to gather resources and spawn and teach my spawn to gather resources and spawn and teach my spawn to...
Here's a fun thought... "It's all retch and no vomit"
On January 14 2013 07:11 ZERG_RUSSIAN wrote: Shady, how old are you?
Why do I keep getting this question?
Because you're either... 1 - Too young to be this cynical 2 - Too young to know what the hell you're talking about 3 - Too old to get how things aren't the way they used to be 4 - Too old because you're bitter and hate youth 5 - Old enough to know better, young enough not to care.
I'm betting 5. (Like the stars you got.) I liked your blog, btw. I think it does have a disturbing hook in reality, in as much as the blog it's referencing appears to be itself delusional but reasonable from a certain mindset. There are a fair number of people so beaten down that they will actually think this makes perfect sense. And then other people will see it and laugh hysterically.
Regarding your wanna-be-a-baby-momma ex-gf - Effing crazy beaches mang. My brother's first wife wanted to "have a baby, it'll bring our marraige together" while they were having troubles. (They instead had a divorce - it too took around 9 months to finalize, but was painful to both of them and didn't completely fuck over some innocent kid.)
Speaking of kids, on the topic of home schooling - a teacher should be a guide to information, but some are glorified prison guards babysitters. You can get an education, a good education, without a teacher, or a school, if you are willing to work for it. Where does someone get that kind of motivation and drive? Probably from parents - either through early life experiences, encouragement, or waking up one day and going "Oh hell no, I'm not growing up to be them!" If your parent is also your teacher... yeah, it might work out but I'm thinking you run into other problems. And a great many people that want to home school their kids fall into the "might also think tin foil would make a lovely chappeau" camp. Not all of them, by any means, but a fair number of the ones I've met.
Oh, and in general - money can't buy happiness. Happiness doesn't guarantee money. But they can be complementary, money is a tool and happiness is a state of mind.
On January 11 2013 16:09 domane wrote: Forgoing children would be a lot simpler and carry less risks. Who knows if you'll be satisfied with your husband and little ones down the road.
Very interesting blog post. Thanks.
Er as long as you're a good parent the chance of you being "dissatisfied" with your children is pretty small. Even if my marriage doesn't work out the daughter I have from it is more than worth it and I'd do it all again.
On January 14 2013 07:11 ZERG_RUSSIAN wrote: Shady, how old are you?
Why do I keep getting this question?
The question means: "You´re appearing to be too young to be as knowledgable on the subject as is required for a meaningful contribution thereon".
Usually this Kind of suspicion is raised by:
- very frequent posting --> getting recognized by peers - threads that function as a stage for the OP --> making a desirable impression (deep, singular, sexy, rebel and anything not teenager)
These two points have been the motivation for practically everything any teenager has ever done in the history of mankind. Nobody experiencing it realizes this, because they lack perspective that comes from experience and they´re drugged by hormones. On the other hand, everybody who finished this phase of character development knows these Patterns. And that is why older (i.e. experienced) folks can spot younger folks even in an anonymous context.
Though, it´s important to note that there is nothing wrong with being a teenager/young adult.
You don't need really need much money to have happy, successful kids. I can see some people want a certain living standard but it's not related a single bit to how happy children can be.
Just out of curiosity, why are people mad at her? Don't marry women like this, problem solved. Men are free to choose the women based on any criteria, so are the women. Yes women like that do get what they want eventually. Dont be jelous. Dont be mad. If you didn't marry her it's none of your problem. It's the guy who valued those perfect boobs more than personality who has a problem with her now.
I mean there are people outside who kill other people, rob, rape, do 6546534 other bad things, if I got mad at every single one of them, I'd be insane by now. It's actually pretty cool she share's her methods, those with brains can learn a thing or two helpful to recognize bitches like her. So that after the first night we can end it with a promise to call.
On January 15 2013 00:35 BrTarolg wrote: if you ever get a GF who secretly tries to get pregnant against your will without you knowing about it, what can you do?
Even if you have proof of her actions?
You can obviously dump her if it's not too late. Otherwise, well, you are probably screwed. In some areas women have too many rights and men not enough.
Yeah well you can always wear a condom despite what she says, but when she figures you are not trusting her, relationship is likely over. May be for the good if she was a bitch, may be for the bad if she was nice and genuine girl and didn't lie about pills.
On January 15 2013 00:35 BrTarolg wrote: if you ever get a GF who secretly tries to get pregnant against your will without you knowing about it, what can you do?
Even if you have proof of her actions?
In some areas women have too many rights and men not enough.
Where in the world, in history, has this ever been true?
On January 15 2013 02:15 Zealos wrote: I assumed this was a counter argument. Am I the only one seeing this? Showing the flaws in the authors argument?
Bravo btw Shady, another great blog
Yep, the blog was meant to be quasi-satirical--of both sides of the argument.
On January 14 2013 07:11 ZERG_RUSSIAN wrote: Shady, how old are you?
Why do I keep getting this question?
Because you are generalizing your individual life experience to the whole of mankind in a sweeping manner and that's what you do when you're young. If you're older, you should know better. I just want to know where you're at so I have some context to your writing. Similar to knowing that Vonnegut survived Dresden or that Hunter S. Thompson did a shit ton of drugs.
Your writing is decent stylistically (although it has a lot of youthful flair to it, too--like, you know where to put the insight in your writing but your insight itself is a little weak, so you cover it with style and it fools people) but your topic matter is very... well, bitter.
That's why most of the comments are stuff like "done well, but negative". You write well, but you have no real passion in your writing. You're writing more for the sake of being a writer than to actually write. It's like those people who will climb a mountain just so they can put the picture of them being on top of the mountain on instagram. Again, your writing is not bad--stylistically, you are a good writer--, but it has no substance to it.
Also, the language which you use in your writing is very cocky and condescending ("kiddo"). It makes us really wonder how old you are to be telling us how life is when I think many of us may actually be older and have more life experience than you. If you could pull back on the flair and replace it with more of a "in my experience" type of style then you'd have a lot less of these types of questions--but if you did that, what would you have in the piece? There would be nothing there worth saying. As it stands, this piece is pure style and no substance.
(If you're gonna be a writer, you're gonna get your writing torn apart by other people. Don't get me wrong; I wish you well in life and I hope you succeed in all of your endeavors. This is part of the tempering process if you're going to be a writer worth anything .)
A woman wants a man who can provide for her and her kids it's natural and fair. But you should never ever try to attract women with wealth alone, or else when the bigger better deal (man with more money/status) comes, she'll leave. I'd also take any female blogs on what kind of guy femlaes are attracted to with a grain of salt, because most women/people don't know what they want in a partner.
On January 14 2013 07:11 ZERG_RUSSIAN wrote: Shady, how old are you?
Why do I keep getting this question?
Because you are generalizing your individual life experience to the whole of mankind in a sweeping manner and that's what you do when you're young. If you're older, you should know better. I just want to know where you're at so I have some context to your writing. Similar to knowing that Vonnegut survived Dresden or that Hunter S. Thompson did a shit ton of drugs.
Your writing is decent stylistically (although it has a lot of youthful flair to it, too--like, you know where to put the insight in your writing but your insight itself is a little weak, so you cover it with style and it fools people) but your topic matter is very... well, bitter.
So, again, how old are you?
I'm twenty-four. I feel a little old to be asked my age, is all.
On January 15 2013 00:35 BrTarolg wrote: if you ever get a GF who secretly tries to get pregnant against your will without you knowing about it, what can you do?
Even if you have proof of her actions?
In some areas women have too many rights and men not enough.
Where in the world, in history, has this ever been true?
What world do YOU live in? Family law is HEAVILY skewed in favor of women. Unfairly so
On January 15 2013 00:35 BrTarolg wrote: if you ever get a GF who secretly tries to get pregnant against your will without you knowing about it, what can you do?
Even if you have proof of her actions?
In some areas women have too many rights and men not enough.
Where in the world, in history, has this ever been true?
What world do YOU live in? Family law is HEAVILY skewed in favor of women. Unfairly so
Completely depends on the state and nation you live in. Northern and Western Europe-->tilted towards the woman. East/west coasts of America? towards the woman. Texas + US south? Tilted towards the man. Midwest? Neutral. Asia-Pacific? Towards the man. India and Arab states? Heavily towards the man.
On January 15 2013 17:39 ZERG_RUSSIAN wrote: How can you say that anywhere in the US laws are tilted towards women LOL
Paternity laws (e.g. is the kid still legally yours even after you find out she got pregnant by someone else?), asset forfeiture calculations (e.g. do you chop up the assets 50/50, or do you divide it by pre-marital proportions?), validity of pre-nuptial agreements (are they automatically invalid), 'welfare of the child' -- is that the paramount concern of the family court (usually indicates a more generous asset split to the parent which gets the child), custody rules -- how friendly are they to the parent which doesn't get permanent custody, etc.
On January 14 2013 07:11 ZERG_RUSSIAN wrote: Shady, how old are you?
Why do I keep getting this question?
Because you are generalizing your individual life experience to the whole of mankind in a sweeping manner and that's what you do when you're young. If you're older, you should know better. I just want to know where you're at so I have some context to your writing. Similar to knowing that Vonnegut survived Dresden or that Hunter S. Thompson did a shit ton of drugs.
Your writing is decent stylistically (although it has a lot of youthful flair to it, too--like, you know where to put the insight in your writing but your insight itself is a little weak, so you cover it with style and it fools people) but your topic matter is very... well, bitter.
So, again, how old are you?
This reminds me of a quote by Stephen Colbert.
"Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics"
On January 15 2013 17:39 ZERG_RUSSIAN wrote: How can you say that anywhere in the US laws are tilted towards women LOL
Paternity laws (e.g. is the kid still legally yours even after you find out she got pregnant by someone else?), asset forfeiture calculations (e.g. do you chop up the assets 50/50, or do you divide it by pre-marital proportions?), validity of pre-nuptial agreements (are they automatically invalid), 'welfare of the child' -- is that the paramount concern of the family court (usually indicates a more generous asset split to the parent which gets the child), custody rules -- how friendly are they to the parent which doesn't get permanent custody, etc.
That is one section of the law which is slated towards women. Basically every other part is slated towards men.
EPT![[image loading]](http://www.oxfamamericaunwrapped.com/images/custom/homepage/oxfam-574x250-tool.jpg)
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