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I've been working and stressed until today so it's been really hard to consider what to do with a level head.
At first I saw the live-in care as a way to get a new job easily with a very high wage that would let me save up quickly. I went for a few interviews and then took the quit-smoking drug Champix which had a potent effect and made me literally stop caring about anything and have thoughts like I could just walk infront of cars and it wouldn't matter. So that next week I stopped pursuing the live-in care and ended up working at the nursing home another 1, 2, .. weeks.
After talking to mum she said I should stop torturing myself and just come back to stay with her for a while to regain composure and figure out the next thing. I declined at first but then called her up and she said she meant it. Since I have been torturing myself the last 7 or 12 months or more for absolutely no reason or gain (other than managing to get to the gym) I realised I should get out of here ASAP nomatter what and rethink after that.
Mum and Gertrude urged me that if I wanted to do a course then I should ask you for money towards it. However since I can't do that course (where my mum lives) I wasn't sure how things would play out. Maybe I would have to commute. Either way, I needed to get away.
I texted John who used to work at my home and he said to come over because he is lonely. He'd just moved into a 2-bed place on housing benefit that is strikingly similar to the big house I rented in (place). He said I should move in, also on housing benefit. That's when I considered that I could stay in (where i live now) and go ahead with the course. They do start around September but also many run throughout the year; at one place monthly.
On thursday I'll move into John's on housing benefit. I have (to be confirmed..) approx £100 from 1 job, £580 holiday pay & £120 from other job, £190 taxback, £180 from nan, £40 in the bank, total £1200. I need to pay £300 for the house which will be refunded in perhaps 4 weeks when the housing ben comes through (meaning that in the next 1-2 weeks I will have ~£900 (with some spent on food, 34 internet, 15 phone, transfer of my stuff, possible bus pass 65)). Additionally on jobseekers I will get £70/week but that depends on if I can sign on at the office every week.
I can start the CELTA on (dates). The closest is nearly 3 weeks away. I can enquire about some "funding" mentioned on one site.
I can also look at other options. I don't know what they are yet but I will find out.
"Career-wise" I can do this course and then find a teaching job somewhere...Spain, Bulgaria, Asia... anywhere. Of course you are right that I will need to earn money before I can take up a job like that. So perhaps it is better if I just find a new job now.
Being on housing benefit now (rather than paying £390/month) will be a huge boost. In the past I did talk to mum about leaving my apartment to find somewhere on housing benefit, but she said it was a ridiculous idea.
I had intended to apply to nursing home jobs in random cheap towns up north; that way I could get a place on housing ben and everything would be cheaper (whilst being still on minimum wage). But she said it was daft and irresponsible to take off randomly again.
I ultimately decided that, although I was making no money (6 hour shift 5 days a week at £6.08hour minus rent minus 30/week on food minus 34 internet 15 phone = £41/month?), it was better for the time being to be "okay" and at the gym etc. But then the insomnia (waking up a lot), voices, back pain, broken rib, failed attempts at quitting smoking, social anxiety/depression, dodgy shoulder and general misery ETC caught up to me.
Below are some positive quotes about the CELTA. The negative ones seem to range between "its a scam, you dont need anything to be a teacher" and "you should do a proper 3 year degree if you want to be a legitimate teacher".
Throwing myself in the course wouldn't be a bad idea, but now since I will be on jobseekers&housing ben, and since the course isn't as rare as I thought it was, I have a while to think it over, and potentially get a cash-in-hand or even a less soul-destroying job such as an apprenticeship before I start it..
+ Show Spoiler +http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CELTAsome quotes.. "I completed my CELTA course a year ago in Milan and I really enjoyed it at the time and it has been really useful in my teaching experiences since then. I was hesitant to take it in the first place, but I realize looking back that I was NOT prepared to teach before the CELTA. Of course it is a bit rigid at times, and some of the points are exaggerated to the point of ridiculousness (instruction checking, no use of tables in the classroom, etc), but nevertheless it gave me a great foundation to branch off of with my own class. I believe the CELTA is for people who actually want to teach, and enjoy it. It is A LOT of work, it’s intense (which is something my school made very clear at the beginning) and a bit expensive (1800 Euros) but to me it has been worth it. I had two great instructors too, and I’m sure that makes a world of difference." "I just completed the CELTA course and: - I lost so much sleep over it I thought I was going to collapse - It was hard work - I couldn’t believe how stressful it actually was, even after all the warning - I made amazing friends - I had two great, impartial, overworked, hardworking tutors who went out of their way to give us a hand and support us. - I finally realized how bad of a teacher I actually was. And I’m not just one more brainwashed sheep, but when I started practicing what I was being taught in the input lessons… everything just sort of came together. - I do believe they could try to make the written assignments directions clearer - I also think they could devote some teaching practice to elementary level, instead of A2 - I absolutely think that if you want to go into teaching, previous experience or not, this type of course is the way to go." "I have been an IELTS teacher for the past 8 years, I took my CELTA in January 2011 in Toronto. For me CELTA was an amazing experience, something I can’t even describe properly. I am not a native English speaker, I have learned English all by myself and I have always been looking for ways to teach better. During my teaching experience I have tried to write syllabi, changed them over time, but when I passed CELTA, it was a new world, a totally new horizon. The course itself was a shock, that is no doubt. But retrospectively, when you look at it you realize how useful it is in the real world of teaching English. Having a methodical teaching is something we should never scape from and CELTA adds method to everyone’s teaching." "Having recently finished a year teaching in Asia at kindergarten level, I can’t help but think that having a celta before I went would have really helped me, and my students, out. I think I did a good job once I settled in and got used to planning lessons and writing reports, marking exams etc but it took a good couple of months for this to all become normal and not terrifying. I’ll be doing a celta soon, just to help me get work in Europe, as it’s not really needed to teach in Asia, although I know standards are being hiked. Good thing. The amount of people I knew in Korea who were supposed to be teachers and spent all their time drunk or hungover, and who stuck their kids in front of Kung Fu Panda all day as an alternative to actual teaching…" "On the one hand, doing the course made me look at everything from a completely different perspective and this has had a huge effect on the way I teach and plan my lessons. I don’t know how long it would have taken me to gain some of the skills I learnt on the CELTA if I hadn’t taken the course. However, I do realise that there are many other teachers who do a fantastic job without qualifications such as the CELTA or Cert Tesol. It all comes down to experience and the fact is that while CELTA does prepare you for life in the classroom, it doesn’t teach you how to deal with difficult questions or students!" "I am at an early stage of a long journey, but I can say without doubt that the CELTA put me on the right road." "I think the CELTA really teaches you a lot, or at least as much as they can in a one month course. In my case, most of the language/linguistic theory was easy because I had done all the pre-reading they had given to me. But I really valued the in-class critiques of my lessons. I think that that practical aspect is very valuable, especially if you have been teaching in China for a while. Most students and colleagues don’t really know how to give you practical advice that you can use, even if you recognize that your classes could be improved. Personally, I didn’t think it was too hard (mainly because I had heard all the gruesome war stories of my friends and co-workers who had done it in years past, so I was expecting the worst). It is intense though. And you will work all day long, everyday for a month."
 
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tldr:
I've been working for months, years, with zero financial growth and varying degrees of intense misery. I just quit my jobs and got a place to live for free while I sort out what I do next. I'm considering doing a Teach English 4-week course that would give me some confidence in applying for random Teach English jobs abroad in places like Asia, Spain, Bulgaria. But it costs a shitload and afterwards I will have 0 and won't be able to go randomly abroad anyway.
Teach English are poor jobs unless you set yourself up well and I have No Fucking Clue what to do with myself for the future. All I know is I don't want to be locked into England the rest of my life. I've failed University twice already due to alcoholism (clean 12 months) and have no skills, no money.
I don't know what my options are.
Option 1 is something like : get a crap cash in hand , or random apprentice job , or luck out somehow on a non-totally-crap job (not gonna happen) . Spend another X months working and then go through with the teach english course. Then fuck off abroad and do my best.
Option 2 : Re-apply for live-in care jobs (you're living with a disabled/dementia person to look after them constantly, but well paid). Spend another X months working and then go through with the teach english course. Then fuck off abroad and do my best.
Option 3 : Something else. Become a programmer somehow (coz its challenging, well paid and you can home-study it). But then you're locked into English-speaking countries, and besides dont most programmers want to kill themselves? Not to mention it takes years and years. What am I doing for work in the meantime? I will freakin break down if i take up anything mundane minimum wage abuse again
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On August 29 2012 08:04 FFGenerations wrote:
tldr:
I've been working for months, years, with zero financial growth and varying degrees of intense misery. I just quit my jobs and got a place to live for free while I sort out what I do next. I'm considering doing a Teach English 4-week course that would give me some confidence in applying for random Teach English jobs abroad in places like Asia, Spain, Bulgaria. But it costs a shitload and afterwards I will have 0 and won't be able to go randomly abroad anyway.
Teach English are poor jobs unless you set yourself up well and I have No Fucking Clue what to do with myself for the future. All I know is I don't want to be locked into England the rest of my life. I've failed University twice already due to alcoholism (clean 12 months) and have no skills, no money.
I don't know what my options are.
no one cares about ur sad life. if u want people to care, maybe make your on topic and fuck off this guys thread
User was temp banned for this post.
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Blazinghand
United States25557 Posts
On August 29 2012 08:07 Kojak21 wrote:Show nested quote +On August 29 2012 08:04 FFGenerations wrote:
tldr:
I've been working for months, years, with zero financial growth and varying degrees of intense misery. I just quit my jobs and got a place to live for free while I sort out what I do next. I'm considering doing a Teach English 4-week course that would give me some confidence in applying for random Teach English jobs abroad in places like Asia, Spain, Bulgaria. But it costs a shitload and afterwards I will have 0 and won't be able to go randomly abroad anyway.
Teach English are poor jobs unless you set yourself up well and I have No Fucking Clue what to do with myself for the future. All I know is I don't want to be locked into England the rest of my life. I've failed University twice already due to alcoholism (clean 12 months) and have no skills, no money.
I don't know what my options are. no one cares about ur sad life. if u want people to care, maybe make your on topic and fuck off this guys thread
The guy you are swearing at is the OP.
It took a lot of courage for you to write this letter, man, and it took a lot of courage to post it here. I wish I could do or say something to help. People care about you... so don't give up.
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oh god i got dissed and he didnt even mean it 
its okay its not courage, its just random stuff . ive worked hard struggling against myself, and failed one zillion times, thats nothing to be either proud or ashamed of, its just life.
what im posting it for is incase anyone knows What the Fuck they are doing with their lives and can help me point in a direction
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Blazinghand
United States25557 Posts
On August 29 2012 08:04 FFGenerations wrote:
Option 3 : Something else. Become a programmer somehow (coz its challenging, well paid and you can home-study it). But then you're locked into English-speaking countries, and besides dont most programmers want to kill themselves? Not to mention it takes years and years. What am I doing for work in the meantime? I will freakin break down if i take up anything mundane minimum wage abuse again
Doing programming work isn't terrible at all, actually. There's elements of it that are very nit-picky and detail oriented, but you get to create something and solve problems for a living. I personally love it, but it has its up and downs, and it's not for everyone. Most programmers I know have a college degree in programming, computer science, or engineering. If you had the right knowledge though you might be able to get a job regardless of degree, but it depends on the company you work for.
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On August 29 2012 08:07 Kojak21 wrote:Show nested quote +On August 29 2012 08:04 FFGenerations wrote:
tldr:
I've been working for months, years, with zero financial growth and varying degrees of intense misery. I just quit my jobs and got a place to live for free while I sort out what I do next. I'm considering doing a Teach English 4-week course that would give me some confidence in applying for random Teach English jobs abroad in places like Asia, Spain, Bulgaria. But it costs a shitload and afterwards I will have 0 and won't be able to go randomly abroad anyway.
Teach English are poor jobs unless you set yourself up well and I have No Fucking Clue what to do with myself for the future. All I know is I don't want to be locked into England the rest of my life. I've failed University twice already due to alcoholism (clean 12 months) and have no skills, no money.
I don't know what my options are. no one cares about ur sad life. if u want people to care, maybe make your on topic and fuck off this guys thread
That's FFGenerations's own tl;dr lol. Though it's more of an elaboration/extra material for us.
I've really never been in your situation before so I can't really offer help of my own...never seem to be able to 
Have some self-confidence yo. I mean it can be really hard when you're in that kind of shitty situation, but some of what you're writing is sometimes painfully self-deprecatory to someone else reading it >_< soldier on, and there are indeed people who truly care for you.
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On August 29 2012 08:15 Blazinghand wrote:Show nested quote +On August 29 2012 08:04 FFGenerations wrote:
Option 3 : Something else. Become a programmer somehow (coz its challenging, well paid and you can home-study it). But then you're locked into English-speaking countries, and besides dont most programmers want to kill themselves? Not to mention it takes years and years. What am I doing for work in the meantime? I will freakin break down if i take up anything mundane minimum wage abuse again Doing programming work isn't terrible at all, actually. There's elements of it that are very nit-picky and detail oriented, but you get to create something and solve problems for a living. I personally love it, but it has its up and downs, and it's not for everyone. Most programmers I know have a college degree in programming, computer science, or engineering. If you had the right knowledge though you might be able to get a job regardless of degree, but it depends on the company you work for.
someone said you can learn like 3 languages, build a portfolio by involving yourself in projects, it will take 3 years, but it all comes down to your own initiative/determination, and at the end you can land a solid job (and still have options)
my work shifts at this job were only 6 hours a day, you'd think that gives you plenty of time to study something alongside. but my mental state has been SO ravaged. im afraid that nomatter what entry-level/minimum wage job i manage to land (if i go for another one) i will still be unable, unfit to lead a productive life.
then again, i have been doing this same job (carehome carer) for 5 years now, so i guess i really shouldnt presume how ill feel doing something different.
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Blazinghand
United States25557 Posts
On August 29 2012 08:23 FFGenerations wrote:Show nested quote +On August 29 2012 08:15 Blazinghand wrote:On August 29 2012 08:04 FFGenerations wrote:
Option 3 : Something else. Become a programmer somehow (coz its challenging, well paid and you can home-study it). But then you're locked into English-speaking countries, and besides dont most programmers want to kill themselves? Not to mention it takes years and years. What am I doing for work in the meantime? I will freakin break down if i take up anything mundane minimum wage abuse again Doing programming work isn't terrible at all, actually. There's elements of it that are very nit-picky and detail oriented, but you get to create something and solve problems for a living. I personally love it, but it has its up and downs, and it's not for everyone. Most programmers I know have a college degree in programming, computer science, or engineering. If you had the right knowledge though you might be able to get a job regardless of degree, but it depends on the company you work for. someone said you can learn like 3 languages, build a portfolio by involving yourself in projects, it will take 3 years, but it all comes down to your own initiative/determination, and at the end you can land a solid job (and still have options) my work shifts at this job were only 6 hours a day, you'd think that gives you plenty of time to study something alongside. but my mental state has been SO ravaged. im afraid that nomatter what entry-level/minimum wage job i manage to land (if i go for another one) i will still be unable, unfit to lead a productive life. then again, i have been doing this same job (carehome carer) for 5 years now, so i guess i really shouldnt presume how ill feel doing something different.
Most of the people I worked with learned at a school how to program, and it took them about that long-- so that sounds like a pretty normal timeframe. Working on your own projects, learning how to do things, and creating stuff should also be fun. This will be a good sign you want to be a programmer.
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On August 29 2012 08:20 Aerisky wrote:Show nested quote +On August 29 2012 08:07 Kojak21 wrote:On August 29 2012 08:04 FFGenerations wrote:
tldr:
I've been working for months, years, with zero financial growth and varying degrees of intense misery. I just quit my jobs and got a place to live for free while I sort out what I do next. I'm considering doing a Teach English 4-week course that would give me some confidence in applying for random Teach English jobs abroad in places like Asia, Spain, Bulgaria. But it costs a shitload and afterwards I will have 0 and won't be able to go randomly abroad anyway.
Teach English are poor jobs unless you set yourself up well and I have No Fucking Clue what to do with myself for the future. All I know is I don't want to be locked into England the rest of my life. I've failed University twice already due to alcoholism (clean 12 months) and have no skills, no money.
I don't know what my options are. no one cares about ur sad life. if u want people to care, maybe make your on topic and fuck off this guys thread That's FFGenerations's own tl;dr lol. Though it's more of an elaboration/extra material for us. I've really never been in your situation before so I can't really offer help of my own...never seem to be able to Have some self-confidence yo. I mean it can be really hard when you're in that kind of shitty situation, but some of what you're writing is sometimes painfully self-deprecatory to someone else reading it >_< soldier on, and there are indeed people who truly care for you.
ha, hi again, yeah i know its annoying to read words like "social anxiety blah blah" but if you dont say them once then no1 knows. so i was making sure my dad knows, i guess. plus im just so good at it
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On August 29 2012 08:28 FFGenerations wrote:Show nested quote +On August 29 2012 08:20 Aerisky wrote:On August 29 2012 08:07 Kojak21 wrote:On August 29 2012 08:04 FFGenerations wrote:
tldr:
I've been working for months, years, with zero financial growth and varying degrees of intense misery. I just quit my jobs and got a place to live for free while I sort out what I do next. I'm considering doing a Teach English 4-week course that would give me some confidence in applying for random Teach English jobs abroad in places like Asia, Spain, Bulgaria. But it costs a shitload and afterwards I will have 0 and won't be able to go randomly abroad anyway.
Teach English are poor jobs unless you set yourself up well and I have No Fucking Clue what to do with myself for the future. All I know is I don't want to be locked into England the rest of my life. I've failed University twice already due to alcoholism (clean 12 months) and have no skills, no money.
I don't know what my options are. no one cares about ur sad life. if u want people to care, maybe make your on topic and fuck off this guys thread That's FFGenerations's own tl;dr lol. Though it's more of an elaboration/extra material for us. I've really never been in your situation before so I can't really offer help of my own...never seem to be able to Have some self-confidence yo. I mean it can be really hard when you're in that kind of shitty situation, but some of what you're writing is sometimes painfully self-deprecatory to someone else reading it >_< soldier on, and there are indeed people who truly care for you. ha, hi again, yeah i know its annoying to read words like "social anxiety blah blah" but if you dont say them once then no1 knows. so i was making sure my dad knows, i guess. plus im just so good at it
hihi! I'm not so much annoyed as worried for you, since you do tend to mention it a lot and go really hard on yourself.
But yeah Blazinghand's advice is good, and it's definitely true that the magic of programming is that you can be self-taught. The important thing is to get down the logic and learning the variables and whatnot for other languages shouldn't be too difficult. Without a degree it's true that it may be a bit hard to get a job, though for what it's worth I know that a lot of programmers are rather poor at their jobs lol. ><
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I might be reading this wrong but, unless you already have a college degree (Bachelors at least), teaching abroad isn't really an option. Most countries will require you to be a graduate to get a visa as a teacher, and doing it illegally is really not much of a long-term plan.
What you gotta understand is, all the good things in life take a lot of time and effort. You're not going to just land into a dream job or whatever, you have to figure out what you want to do with yourself without worrying so much about how difficult or expensive it is, then work your ass off to make it happen. Easier said than done, I know - but that's how it works.
The idea to study programming isn't even half bad - if it's something that interests you. You're never going to get really good at it if it's not something you're genuinely curious about, and you're not going to get a decent job as a programmer with no degree or references if you aren't amazing at it.
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On August 29 2012 08:07 Kojak21 wrote:Show nested quote +On August 29 2012 08:04 FFGenerations wrote:
tldr:
I've been working for months, years, with zero financial growth and varying degrees of intense misery. I just quit my jobs and got a place to live for free while I sort out what I do next. I'm considering doing a Teach English 4-week course that would give me some confidence in applying for random Teach English jobs abroad in places like Asia, Spain, Bulgaria. But it costs a shitload and afterwards I will have 0 and won't be able to go randomly abroad anyway.
Teach English are poor jobs unless you set yourself up well and I have No Fucking Clue what to do with myself for the future. All I know is I don't want to be locked into England the rest of my life. I've failed University twice already due to alcoholism (clean 12 months) and have no skills, no money.
I don't know what my options are. no one cares about ur sad life. if u want people to care, maybe make your on topic and fuck off this guys thread
im sorry but thats hilarious
when i read this kind of blog i always wonder how weird the situation in other countries is. i mean for example, i just did a holiday job for 1 month which was kinda easy to get and no skills are required and got paid 12.35€ an hour. i wonder if the situation in other countries is so much worse, but if i were in your position id get a cheap flat, work for a couple of months, save up the money and THEN you can do the english teaching thing, with the thought in your mind: "if it doesnt work out as planned, i still have some money saved up". of course, as i said i dont know how exactly your situation is.
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On August 29 2012 09:13 teddyoojo wrote:Show nested quote +On August 29 2012 08:07 Kojak21 wrote:On August 29 2012 08:04 FFGenerations wrote:
tldr:
I've been working for months, years, with zero financial growth and varying degrees of intense misery. I just quit my jobs and got a place to live for free while I sort out what I do next. I'm considering doing a Teach English 4-week course that would give me some confidence in applying for random Teach English jobs abroad in places like Asia, Spain, Bulgaria. But it costs a shitload and afterwards I will have 0 and won't be able to go randomly abroad anyway.
Teach English are poor jobs unless you set yourself up well and I have No Fucking Clue what to do with myself for the future. All I know is I don't want to be locked into England the rest of my life. I've failed University twice already due to alcoholism (clean 12 months) and have no skills, no money.
I don't know what my options are. no one cares about ur sad life. if u want people to care, maybe make your on topic and fuck off this guys thread im sorry but thats hilarious when i read this kind of blog i always wonder how weird the situation in other countries is. i mean for example, i just did a holiday job for 1 month which was kinda easy to get and no skills are required and got paid 12.35€ an hour. i wonder if the situation in other countries is so much worse, but if i were in your position id get a cheap flat, work for a couple of months, save up the money and THEN you can do the english teaching thing, with the thought in your mind: "if it doesnt work out as planned, i still have some money saved up". of course, as i said i dont know how exactly your situation is.
He just said he did the "work hard for a few months and live cheap to save up money" and it got him no where......
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On the topic of dads... is living with your dad and working an option?
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9934 Posts
sounds like one of those crappy transition periods everyone's gotta go through - hopefully it'll pass soon! on the upside, you have free housing and parents that sound like they care about you. you've already done a lot of the hard part, figuring out how to change your circumstances. it's all execution from here on out. i bet you'll do just fine!
and teaching sounds sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much more interesting than taking care of old people... that alone should perk you up a lot haha
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On August 29 2012 09:12 Salazarz wrote:
I might be reading this wrong but, unless you already have a college degree (Bachelors at least), teaching abroad isn't really an option. Most countries will require you to be a graduate to get a visa as a teacher, and doing it illegally is really not much of a long-term plan.
What you gotta understand is, all the good things in life take a lot of time and effort. You're not going to just land into a dream job or whatever, you have to figure out what you want to do with yourself without worrying so much about how difficult or expensive it is, then work your ass off to make it happen. Easier said than done, I know - but that's how it works.
The idea to study programming isn't even half bad - if it's something that interests you. You're never going to get really good at it if it's not something you're genuinely curious about, and you're not going to get a decent job as a programmer with no degree or references if you aren't amazing at it.
He is referring to obtaining a CELTA which will qualify him as a teacher of English as a foreign language. Gaining some experience and upping it to the Diploma is apparently quiet lucrative.
I won't give out advice online, but FFGenerations put some serious research into when, how and when you want to study (which I can see you have already done), check how funding will affect your future eligibility for loans and grants etc and what happens if you fail/drop out/shit happens.
Good luck and well done for your letter!
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I have a CELTA and a college degree and currently teaching English in Vietnam. For me teaching English is great in the pay is pretty good starting at $17/hr, the hours are quite managable 20ish a week. The kicker would be my work does require a univ. degree for visas and all that. I know many teachers who have taught in Korea/Japan/Singapore etc as well. Lemme know if you've got any questions.
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EPT
