Caught your attention? Good. Don't worry, the title isn't entirely misleading. This is yet-another-blog-that-tells-a-life-story kinda blog.
Basically, I am 18. This year during carnival(Feb-18), I started dating this girl who was 17(18 in April) and we are together still. When we were nearing our two months together, we decided that we would have sex. We were both virgins and horny, so of course we worked our way to do it.
It was amazing, don't get me wrong. Apparently it also made her a nymphomaniac or something, because she loved it so fucking much(word placement may vary), but the problem was what happened after.
When we first had sex, she had just been out of her period, which means we had about three more weeks of sex. By three weeks I mean three opportunities, because we don't really have that much time; However things got scary on Monday when she told me her period was late.
My whole world shattered at that moment. Holy shit how is that even possible?! I wore condoms perfectly. Maybe it spilled a bit? I heard somewhere that condoms aren't 100% effective. Holy shit what if she is pregnant? She told me it was about five days late. "How do you know?!" Apparently she and her sister have synchronized periods? wtf is this is she for real? What if she is? I can't take care of a baby at this age; I barely entered college and she is still trying. I don't have experience for a job to take care of us both, and my parents would never help us on a situation like that. What did I do wrong?!
Then I started begging: Please make her bleed, and I'll do whatever you want, whoever you are! I promise to study more and procrastinate less, I promise to be a nice person! Don't waste a baby's life with me, I don't want to raise a son/daughter unprepared like that!
The fact that my gf denied any possibility of abortion and that she was ready to go with it worried me even more. Where is she with her mind?! We can't go through that, we have no chance of taking care of a kid and raise him/her without leaving marks on his/her childhood. I don't want a child with issues, I want to have a perfectly healthy and great child. "I've seen people who were raised in the same conditions, and they became incredibly persons" FUCK THIS SHIT I'm raising a son as well as I can, not through crises and forcing him to live on my mistakes.
And then the questions: Why would this happen to us, a recently formed couple, when there are couples out there who are in much better condition to raise childs and can't do it because of some genetic problem or whatever? Wow, whoever is up there controlling us, if there is, must be a jerk. What the fuck?!
And the begging again: I promise I'll be a nice guy(etc etc etc)
So, as much as sex was incredible at that single time, I passed one of the most horrible moments of my life. Yesterday I accepted the fact that I would become a father in nine months.
Then she told me the period came and it was just late. "Thank God" was my immediate reaction.
Now I'll go back to studying calculus. Gotta be a nice guy after all.
Seriously though, if you're not at a stable point in your life and in a committed relationship, you need to be extra careful. Condoms AND the pill. Don't be cheap. If used properly, the odds of either one failing are pretty low, but you can't really risk it at 18.
Yeah, girls' periods aren't nearly consistent as we're lead to believe (or that they often believe). I've had gfs that have been over a week late, or missed one entirely for a month and not been pregnant. You just gotta be cool and wait it out. If they miss two months, then you start to worry...
On May 09 2012 23:07 Omnipresent wrote: Seriously though, if you're not at a stable point in your life and in a committed relationship, you need to be extra careful. Condoms AND the pill. Don't be cheap. If used properly, the odds of either one failing are pretty low, but you can't really risk it at 18.
Kids these days...
Yup, some people are really ignorant and sloppy. I am 20 years old (1992) and four people from my old high school class already has a kid. Two of them were a couple already and the girl got pregnant when she was 16 and they kept it. The third dude got his first girlfriend pregnant last year and the fourth girl got some "love child" with some dude that is like six years older than her.
Like what the fuck? How can you do this to not only yourself and your own future, but to the childs future aswell?
Periods aren't clockwork, the added fact she's worrying about the same things (that it might be late) can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Stress does weird stuff.
Anyways, most people go through this the first time because it's never been a worry before.
Frankly I think the pill + condoms is a bit overkill. Sure, it's the safest way buit keep in mind that when used properly, either of them is fine. I would go for the pill (obviosly she needs to be on board and there might be side effects etc) as it just feels a lot better without a rubber. Also it's cheaper, that might be an issue. Condoms are good for one night stands (which imo you shouldn't do anyway but that's a personal preference thing).
"Pill babies" are almost always a result of the woman secretly wanting a child and quitting the pill. Trust me. So if your gf is trustworthy and young enough to be insane to want a child, then you are safe with the pill only. It gets trickier when you get older.
P.S. Had literally same experience as OP, eventually you'll learn that it's just the way women are. Certain events in life affect their periods (can be up to 2-3 weeks late).
Mine was where I something went a bit wrong during the 'occasion' and I spent like the next month worrying, then she tells me 'we need to talk', I have a heart attack but turns out she wanted to break up, THANK FUCK
Actually, she is going to the doc on the 30th and will take pills after that. I made her promise that.
She took it earlier this year but her body didn't react very well; probably because it wasn't under medic prescription so she did it wrong or something.
Also, some answers here are hilarious. Glad I got these reactions :D
Female friend of mine has had several of these scares, the main thing to remember is that a woman's time of the month can be delayed or skipped entirely due to a number of reasons, stress and nutrition being the main ones. It's not at all uncommon for a woman who's super stressed to not have her period at all for a month.
My wife's period cycle is weird as fuck sometimes it was like two months without a period and then one time she had like two period cycles in less than two weeks apart.
I never had sex with a virgin before, but I heard they like to cling after the deed, is that true? I was a late bloomer almost 21 before I had sex for the first with my ex girlfriend that was six years older... She had a lot of experience. She told me it was the funnest/comedy sex she ever had. I never told her it was my first time haha.
Oh yeah and I feel like sex is hit or miss for me. Sometimes it is great and then sometimes Im thinking that porn would have been a better option. I need mental help...
I've been in this position when I was under 20. Bricks were shat. I broke up with the girl, then she tells me she's late, then she didn't tell me when she did come on just to fuck with me. So that was fun.
Few years ago I slept with this girl in her early 30's, guess I was 28, something like that. We'd been on a few dates and that, all legit. We get to the sex, I put a condom on, she takes it off. "Oh right, guess she's on the pill then, tally-ho". Nope. I get the "I can't beleive you came inside me" speech followed by "well I'm keeping it if I'm pregnant". I not so subtly pointed out that she was being a mentalist and basically trying to fuck my life and she eventually agreed. Thank god.
I feel with you, my GF does that pretty much every time she moves into a new environment. Move to Germany from Spain, almost two weeks late. Go on holidays, 6 days late. Go to Spain to visit her mother, 3 days late.
The first one was pretty scary, I blame it for at least 3 of my grey hairs.
I think everyone goes through at least one pregnancy scare. The only advice I can give is 1) always use a condom and 2) make sure she's on the pill. Glad to hear things worked out, though. Shit can be scary.
Nicely written. I followed along with your words in fear and was glad it worked out ok for you in the end.
There is no greater responsibility we can have in life over bring a life into this world. I've wanted to have kids all my life but now I find myself in a position I could do it, I'm friggen terrified and want to run to the hills. Maybe that just means I'm not ready?
Anyway, condom plus a bit of care should be plenty. The pill messes with a womans body, and I think it's wrong of men to just assume a woman should take it.
On May 10 2012 01:04 Pure-SC2 wrote: Anyway, condom plus a bit of care should be plenty. The pill messes with a womans body, and I think it's wrong of men to just assume a woman should take it.
I think it's really better to take every precaution possible. The Pill may mess with a woman's body, but so does getting preggers.
On May 09 2012 22:50 Zephirdd wrote: I don't want a child with issues, I want to have a perfectly healthy and great child. "I've seen people who were raised in the same conditions, and they became incredibly persons" FUCK THIS SHIT I'm raising a son as well as I can, not through crises and forcing him to live on my mistakes.
I've seen people raised in the same situation and turn out to be model citizens.
Anyway, you're going to get this a lot when you're sexually active. She'll probably freak out every time she's a day late. No birth control is 100% so you're always going to have that nagging suspicion. I'm the same way even though she's on the shot (which is ridiculously good without any other form) and I use a condom almost every time. If you can, try to get more than one form of birth control (condoms with spermicide, condom and pill, etc.). Still, she'll probably freak out every time she's late and if you're the anxious type it will probably get to you as well.
I don't say this all like it's a bad thing because I've seen countless individuals disregard pregnancy as a possibility. Blind faith in statistics doesn't mean much when you've become the 1/1000 chance. It's also good that she has a plan because too many people believe it won't happen to them or plan on getting an abortion without realizing that it tends to come at an emotional cost.
One could also argue that if you're so terrified of getting your girlfriend pregnant that abstinence is the most logical choice to allay your fears. That's an unpopular stance amongst 18-year-olds (and most everyone below 30, at least), but you can't have sex without taking the risk and if you're going to get nervous over the risk (no matter how minute) then it's the tradeoff whether you realize or not.
I found that read rather amusing. Reminded me of myself and my girlfriend. Although we're almost ten years older than you are, still the same thing applies. When she still took the pill almost everytime she was late on her period she'd go through the whole "what if i'm pregnant" thing.
Better get used to it. I had this situation like...what...20 times? Yes, you heard right, it doesn't get better hehe.
Now, she has an IUS - and STILL we have the "I think I'm pregnant" story from time to time.
On May 09 2012 23:07 Omnipresent wrote: Seriously though, if you're not at a stable point in your life and in a committed relationship, you need to be extra careful. Condoms AND the pill. Don't be cheap. If used properly, the odds of either one failing are pretty low, but you can't really risk it at 18.
Kids these days...
This. Don't kill yourself from a heart attack. If it's not overstepping a line, you can even pay for half or a third of the pill too, though some people can find that insulting. Paying for the pill is a helluvalot cheaper than a baby.
What's surprising is that on this day and age there's still young people out there who have "just heard" condoms aren't 100% safe. You should inform yourself about contraceptive methods before engaging in sex ever again, and I'd recommend the same to every other TLer reading.
On May 10 2012 01:40 mordk wrote: What's surprising is that on this day and age there's still young people out there who have "just heard" condoms aren't 100% safe. You should inform yourself about contraceptive methods before engaging in sex ever again, and I'd recommend the same to every other TLer reading.
Protip: Google "pearl index"
I know contraceptive methods, I am very informed about them thank you. Just because I say "I heard" doesnt mean I am uneducated about something.
On May 10 2012 00:49 Nallen wrote: I've been in this position when I was under 20. Bricks were shat. I broke up with the girl, then she tells me she's late, then she didn't tell me when she did come on just to fuck with me. So that was fun.
Few years ago I slept with this girl in her early 30's, guess I was 28, something like that. We'd been on a few dates and that, all legit. We get to the sex, I put a condom on, she takes it off. "Oh right, guess she's on the pill then, tally-ho". Nope. I get the "I can't beleive you came inside me" speech followed by "well I'm keeping it if I'm pregnant". I not so subtly pointed out that she was being a mentalist and basically trying to fuck my life and she eventually agreed. Thank god.
Wow that second story....that's beyond deceptive into downright scary. I'd be pretty angry too.
I guess I'm pretty lucky because the worst situation I ever had was when a girl and I were masterbating each other and she got all worried that somehow she had gotten semen in her, but she told me straightaway when her period came a few days later....I remember it to this day, she called them "little swimmys" lmao (this was back in high school)
On May 10 2012 00:49 Nallen wrote: I've been in this position when I was under 20. Bricks were shat. I broke up with the girl, then she tells me she's late, then she didn't tell me when she did come on just to fuck with me. So that was fun.
Few years ago I slept with this girl in her early 30's, guess I was 28, something like that. We'd been on a few dates and that, all legit. We get to the sex, I put a condom on, she takes it off. "Oh right, guess she's on the pill then, tally-ho". Nope. I get the "I can't beleive you came inside me" speech followed by "well I'm keeping it if I'm pregnant". I not so subtly pointed out that she was being a mentalist and basically trying to fuck my life and she eventually agreed. Thank god.
lol wow. You can't trust them females, man. always wrap it up! Here is some advice from my man Big L + Show Spoiler +
I think every guy had this experience. The first time I had sex back in 8th grade, I thought my girlfriend (at the time) was pregnant but it was just late. I used a condom and everything. The second time this happened though, there was no condom involved at all. My heart dropped, I had gotten sick, I couldnt eat for a day and all I did was lay down. What made it even worse was that it was raining outside.
Sex without a condom is so good but so stupid. Especially if you aren't committed to the person (I was. hell we were together for 3 years so fuck it) that your enjoying your raw pleasure with.
Raw sex isnt even that great. I rarely used condoms in my past... I am an idiot. Thankfully no HIV OR AIDS. I actually skeeted inside of two one night stands in Korea but thankfully they dont know my name. I was too stupid and prideful to tell them to slow down during sex or that I had an orgasm because it was so fast... so I played it off and didnt pull it out. Got damn I am crazy. Im more worried about diseases than pregnancy though.
One condom I used felt better than raw. In my past though I felt like condoms were a waste of time when in a serious relationship.
On May 10 2012 00:25 Zephirdd wrote: Actually, she is going to the doc on the 30th and will take pills after that. I made her promise that.
She took it earlier this year but her body didn't react very well; probably because it wasn't under medic prescription so she did it wrong or something.
Also, some answers here are hilarious. Glad I got these reactions :D
Not every "pill" reacts the same with every girl. They all have different hormone levels that need to be balanced. Might take a few different brands (formulas) to find the right balance. Also, prescription antibiotics may counteract the "pills" effect. While taking antibiotics, the pill can become less effective. Here is one Doctor's opinion, there are many more opinions out there that concur with this one (and others that do not agree with this opinion). Though there is not definitive evidence, I'd err on the side of caution.
We can't go through that, we have no chance of taking care of a kid and raise him/her without leaving marks on his/her childhood. I don't want a child with issues, I want to have a perfectly healthy and great child.
for some reason they always think about this after they have the sex. as if they didn't know that it was a completely possible and somtimes likely result of their actions. it'd be like me tying myself to train tracks and then being like: "but i can't get hit by a train! i'm not ready for that!"
well if you aren't ready you aren't ready. why act ready? i dont know, do what you want, but damn it if that kind of thing doesn't confuse the life out of me.
On May 10 2012 03:13 tehemperorer wrote: Yeah like for me ev3en the small condom sizes slip off a lot, you can't get it wet before you put it on
kids aren't bad at all, they're just untimely at times.
Why would you ever say something like this >.<. Also not sure what brand of condoms you are using but they should be lubricated...unless you are using some really old condoms (which you should not be).
Interesting. 2% chance condoms will fail given "perfect use." I have to wonder how many condoms tear with perfect use and how many holes are poked in them/they are used imperfectly.
On May 10 2012 03:13 tehemperorer wrote: Yeah like for me ev3en the small condom sizes slip off a lot, you can't get it wet before you put it on
kids aren't bad at all, they're just untimely at times.
Why would you ever say something like this >.<. Also not sure what brand of condoms you are using but they should be lubricated...unless you are using some really old condoms (which you should not be).
Well, obviously he buys super tight small condoms, to get more sensitivity from the thin stretching to his massive throbbing monster cock!!!!
Sex is awesome and as many have pointed out, everyone in our age group has gone through this at least once. I've gone through it several times with my ex, and it turned out fine every time.
I always use condoms, current GF doesn't like them and is on the pill so she wanted to stop using them so I calmly asked her stance on abortion and she is for it and I said ok then but just know if you do get pregnant I will gladly pay child support but won't be involved. I simply am not ready for children and won't risk anything unless both parties are on the same page, this is why one night stands are something I just don't really do.
Before you say I am a bad person for not being involved in a potential childs life keep in mind I prefer double contraceptives and only stopped recently by request of my girlfriend.
Frankly I think the pill + condoms is a bit overkill. Sure, it's the safest way buit keep in mind that when used properly, either of them is fine. I would go for the pill (obviosly she needs to be on board and there might be side effects etc) as it just feels a lot better without a rubber. Also it's cheaper, that might be an issue. Condoms are good for one night stands (which imo you shouldn't do anyway but that's a personal preference thing).
"Pill babies" are almost always a result of the woman secretly wanting a child and quitting the pill. Trust me. So if your gf is trustworthy and young enough to be insane to want a child, then you are safe with the pill only. It gets trickier when you get older.
So wrong I can't even believe it.
pro-tip: you should use multiple forms of contraceptives
Not going into more detail than this, but I'll be blogging pretty soon.
Haven't been there and hopefully never will. Reason: I've been fully educated in Gym/Health Class(1 class). I know all about protections for sex as well as what not to do. And yes, nothing is 100% except not having sex(for STI/STD as well as pregnancy).
This remind me of the story of a family which had been on a spring resort vacation. Shortly after they had come home the mother found out that her younger daughter (under 18 years old) had become pregnant. The mother started to accuse the spring resort since, the pool they have used at the resort, according to the mother, wasn't properly cleaned and had male semen floating around in the water, and that the semen had "crawled up" in her daughter while she was swimming.
So let this be a lesson to you If you look at a girl with dirty thoughts you might just make her pregnant right on the spot, and don't even think about eyeballing her.
On May 10 2012 07:25 3FFA wrote: Haven't been there and hopefully never will. Reason: I've been fully educated in Gym/Health Class(1 class). I know all about protections for sex as well as what not to do. And yes, nothing is 100% except not having sex(for STI/STD as well as pregnancy).
Nothing is 100%, the moment your partner is late for a couple days you'll be there. Believe me, I was as sure as you are that nothing would happen
Yeah this really does happen to everyone. Happened to me, and the girl I was with freaked. She actually took the day after pill just to make sure even though she was on the pill.
Regardless, doubling up isn't a bad idea and really doesn't change a lot. She goes on the pill, you wrap it up. EZPZ.
So my wife never has periods (idk why, she just doesn't), so when we found out she was pregnant... she was already like 3 months along... I didn't get the full 9 month preparedness time, so unfair.
Anyway, she got the ied (Basically permanent birth control) and have been happily having permanently protected sex for 3 years =D
Frankly I think the pill + condoms is a bit overkill. Sure, it's the safest way buit keep in mind that when used properly, either of them is fine. I would go for the pill (obviosly she needs to be on board and there might be side effects etc) as it just feels a lot better without a rubber. Also it's cheaper, that might be an issue. Condoms are good for one night stands (which imo you shouldn't do anyway but that's a personal preference thing).
"Pill babies" are almost always a result of the woman secretly wanting a child and quitting the pill. Trust me. So if your gf is trustworthy and young enough to be insane to want a child, then you are safe with the pill only. It gets trickier when you get older.
So wrong I can't even believe it.
Care to elaborate or are you just being a dick?
Some facts/thoughts:
- You need to miss at least three pills in a row for there to be a good chance of ovulating. - The statistics about these thing are always skewed. There is no controlled environment to test this and so it's based on asking people what they used and did babies emerge. People will always tell you they did everything right even though in reality they were idiots and messed up. - No way do condoms have a 2 % chance of failing. MAYBE a 2 % chance of breaking? But thats not a 2 % chance of a baby (and that's what failing as a contraceptive means imo). Durability can be tested pretty accurately. But you would have to be ovulating at the time of the breaking and even then it's not a sure thing. The chance of pregnancy is closer to 0,02 %.
This has happened a few times for me with past girlfriends, but the worst was with my ex's friend which I had a one night stand with. She ended up being about 3.5 weeks late and I was crapping myself the entire time...
Oh shit. Pregnancy scares are a killer, esp if its your first. However, I can't even imagine a pregnancy scare coming from your first time. Consider yourself lucky, don't get cheap condoms, and always wrap your tool :D lol
On May 10 2012 04:45 Blazinghand wrote: All these people lecturing the OP about the dangers of boning are forgetting that A) he is now keenly aware of said dangers and B) boning is hella fun
WIN.
on a side not im seriously thinking about using that for my sig. But i don't think it will ever be relavant.
Becoming a dad at a young age is cool actually. Youll be able to have beers with your kid without it being awkward or weird . Even with their "bros" you can hang out plausibly so its ok to do
Frankly I think the pill + condoms is a bit overkill. Sure, it's the safest way buit keep in mind that when used properly, either of them is fine. I would go for the pill (obviosly she needs to be on board and there might be side effects etc) as it just feels a lot better without a rubber. Also it's cheaper, that might be an issue. Condoms are good for one night stands (which imo you shouldn't do anyway but that's a personal preference thing).
"Pill babies" are almost always a result of the woman secretly wanting a child and quitting the pill. Trust me. So if your gf is trustworthy and young enough to be insane to want a child, then you are safe with the pill only. It gets trickier when you get older.
So wrong I can't even believe it.
Care to elaborate or are you just being a dick?
Some facts/thoughts:
- You need to miss at least three pills in a row for there to be a good chance of ovulating. - The statistics about these thing are always skewed. There is no controlled environment to test this and so it's based on asking people what they used and did babies emerge. People will always tell you they did everything right even though in reality they were idiots and messed up. - No way do condoms have a 2 % chance of failing. MAYBE a 2 % chance of breaking? But thats not a 2 % chance of a baby (and that's what failing as a contraceptive means imo). Durability can be tested pretty accurately. But you would have to be ovulating at the time of the breaking and even then it's not a sure thing. The chance of pregnancy is closer to 0,02 %.
A broken condom is a failure of the contraception method. Saying its only a failure if she gets pregnant is like saying you have a 100% prefect parachute, even though it only deployed successfuly in 1 out of 10 attempts, but that one attempt was the only attempt in which you were falling out of an airplane.
As far as the actual numbers go, you could blindly speculate, but I'd rather take 30 seconds or so and actually look it up.
2-3 of 100 sexually active women will become pregnant even if her partner uses a condom every single time and uses it exactly as directed. 10-15 of 100 will become pregnant under normal condom use conditions (improper or intermittent use, etc.). I don't know what that means in terms of the failure rate during any given sex act, but I know that even a 2% chance of pregnancy over the course of a year is way too high for someone who is 18, not financially stable, and not emotionally ready to care for a child.
Frankly I think the pill + condoms is a bit overkill. Sure, it's the safest way buit keep in mind that when used properly, either of them is fine. I would go for the pill (obviosly she needs to be on board and there might be side effects etc) as it just feels a lot better without a rubber. Also it's cheaper, that might be an issue. Condoms are good for one night stands (which imo you shouldn't do anyway but that's a personal preference thing).
"Pill babies" are almost always a result of the woman secretly wanting a child and quitting the pill. Trust me. So if your gf is trustworthy and young enough to be insane to want a child, then you are safe with the pill only. It gets trickier when you get older.
So wrong I can't even believe it.
Care to elaborate or are you just being a dick?
Some facts/thoughts:
- You need to miss at least three pills in a row for there to be a good chance of ovulating. - The statistics about these thing are always skewed. There is no controlled environment to test this and so it's based on asking people what they used and did babies emerge. People will always tell you they did everything right even though in reality they were idiots and messed up. - No way do condoms have a 2 % chance of failing. MAYBE a 2 % chance of breaking? But thats not a 2 % chance of a baby (and that's what failing as a contraceptive means imo). Durability can be tested pretty accurately. But you would have to be ovulating at the time of the breaking and even then it's not a sure thing. The chance of pregnancy is closer to 0,02 %.
A broken condom is a failure of the contraception method. Saying its only a failure if she gets pregnant is like saying you have a 100% prefect parachute, even though it only deployed successfuly in 1 out of 10 attempts, but that one attempt was the only attempt in which you were falling out of an airplane.
As far as the actual numbers go, you could blindly speculate, but I'd rather take 30 seconds or so and actually look it up.
2-3 of 100 sexually active women will become pregnant even if her partner uses a condom every single time and uses it exactly as directed. 10-15 of 100 will become pregnant under normal condom use conditions (improper or intermittent use, etc.). I don't know what that means in terms of the failure rate during any given sex act, but I know that even a 2% chance of pregnancy over the course of a year is way too high for someone who is 18, not financially stable, and not emotionally ready to care for a child.
Seriously kids, pills AND rubbers.
First of all, wtf are you talking about with the parachutes? It's not the same thing at all. If a parachute fails you die, if a condom fails then you have a chance for conception if a woman is ovulating + a couple of days after ovulating. What a broken analogy. And why are you calling other poster "kids" when you have no idea how old they are besides the OP. Does that make you feel smarter?
Taking 30 seconds to google some site with some random person answering random questions with no references displayed is not worth that much in my book. Again, even if those numbers are based on some study it's definitely nothing solid because you simply can't reliably investigate this (see my previous post). Also 2 % chance per year is an important clarification. Afaik no one was talking about chances per year, but chances per coitus (or maybe I misunderstood, I didn't read every post that carefully). Do the math: 0,02 % chance per coitus with 100 intercourses per year. Do it. Also I didn't say the chance is 0,02 % - I said it's closer to 0,02 % than 2 % and that 2 % is way too high.
What is proper use anyway? How does one break a condom with proper use? Seriously, I'm curious because it's never happened to me. Maybe there are bad cheap condoms out there but not where I live? My hypothesis is that something inproper is done when they break and the steps explained on that site omnipresent linked are not followed.
And as I said, I recommend the pill in a stable realtionship as it's more effective and more pleasant.
Frankly I think the pill + condoms is a bit overkill. Sure, it's the safest way buit keep in mind that when used properly, either of them is fine. I would go for the pill (obviosly she needs to be on board and there might be side effects etc) as it just feels a lot better without a rubber. Also it's cheaper, that might be an issue. Condoms are good for one night stands (which imo you shouldn't do anyway but that's a personal preference thing).
"Pill babies" are almost always a result of the woman secretly wanting a child and quitting the pill. Trust me. So if your gf is trustworthy and young enough to be insane to want a child, then you are safe with the pill only. It gets trickier when you get older.
So wrong I can't even believe it.
Care to elaborate or are you just being a dick?
Some facts/thoughts:
- You need to miss at least three pills in a row for there to be a good chance of ovulating. - The statistics about these thing are always skewed. There is no controlled environment to test this and so it's based on asking people what they used and did babies emerge. People will always tell you they did everything right even though in reality they were idiots and messed up. - No way do condoms have a 2 % chance of failing. MAYBE a 2 % chance of breaking? But thats not a 2 % chance of a baby (and that's what failing as a contraceptive means imo). Durability can be tested pretty accurately. But you would have to be ovulating at the time of the breaking and even then it's not a sure thing. The chance of pregnancy is closer to 0,02 %.
A broken condom is a failure of the contraception method. Saying its only a failure if she gets pregnant is like saying you have a 100% prefect parachute, even though it only deployed successfuly in 1 out of 10 attempts, but that one attempt was the only attempt in which you were falling out of an airplane.
As far as the actual numbers go, you could blindly speculate, but I'd rather take 30 seconds or so and actually look it up.
2-3 of 100 sexually active women will become pregnant even if her partner uses a condom every single time and uses it exactly as directed. 10-15 of 100 will become pregnant under normal condom use conditions (improper or intermittent use, etc.). I don't know what that means in terms of the failure rate during any given sex act, but I know that even a 2% chance of pregnancy over the course of a year is way too high for someone who is 18, not financially stable, and not emotionally ready to care for a child.
Seriously kids, pills AND rubbers.
First of all, wtf are you talking about with the parachutes? It's not the same thing at all. If a parachute fails you die, if a condom fails then you have a chance for conception if a woman is ovulating + a couple of days after ovulating. What a broken analogy. And why are you calling other poster "kids" when you have no idea how old they are besides the OP. Does that make you feel smarter?
Taking 30 seconds to google some site with some random person answering random questions with no references displayed is not worth that much in my book. Again, even if those numbers are based on some study it's definitely nothing solid because you simply can't reliably investigate this (see my previous post). Also 2 % chance per year is an important clarification. Afaik no one was talking about chances per year, but chances per coitus (or maybe I misunderstood, I didn't read every post that carefully). Do the math: 0,02 % chance per coitus with 100 intercourses per year. Do it. Also I didn't say the chance is 0,02 % - I said it's closer to 0,02 % than 2 % and that 2 % is way too high.
What is proper use anyway? How does one break a condom with proper use? Seriously, I'm curious because it's never happened to me. Maybe there are bad cheap condoms out there but not where I live? My hypothesis is that something inproper is done when they break and the steps explained on that site omnipresent linked are not followed.
And as I said, I recommend the pill in a stable realtionship as it's more effective and more pleasant.
I linked the highest, non-wikipedia search result I got (wikipedia agrees). It may look like a random person answering, but it's from a .edu, which usually means someone checks the facts.
I keep saying "kids" because people in their teens (kids, the ones we're talking about) need to be extra careful. They should use condoms and a secondary form of contraception. People who aren't kids (say, someone in his/her mid 20s or 30s who can actually manage to care for a kid if need be) don't really have to be all the careful. If you're 17 and get pregnant, it's going to seriously alter your life. If you're 30 and you get pregnant, it's still going to change your life, but it's managable.
About the parachute... lol. The point wasn't that a broken condom=death. The point was that you were saying you thought a contraceptive only failed if the woman got pregnant. It's like saying parachutes only fail if someone dies. A parachute can fail to open (like a condom breaking), and we'd call that a failure. You're saying its only a failure if the prarchute (condom) fails when someone is actually using it to jump from an airplane (if the woman is ovulating) and if there's no backup chute (the pill). It's a pretty ridiculous standard of "failure."
Proper use means wearing the condom the entire time you're having sex, every time you have sex. It means putting it on properly, storing it properly, etc. Even good condoms break, even when you use them properly. Everyone experiences this at some point. Also note that there is a failure rate for condoms even if they don't break. A small leak, which a certain number of condoms will have as a result of imprefect manufacture, is enough to be considered a failure.
EPT
