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On May 08 2012 04:29 Zephirdd wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 04:17 Zidane wrote: I dunno. Something is not adding up. Sterile + Pill = pregnant? Not likely, unless one of you two messed up. People don't get it... Pill isn't 100% fool-proof. Varicocele sterility isn't 100% either, although I believe OP can probably sue the doctor that told him this(provided the child is indeed his). Hell, not even condoms are 100%. It doesn't matter which method you use, the chance exists. And I feel sorry for you OP. Having to choose between having the child at this point of life, or losing the "miracle" and not have the chance when you grow older is indeed a problem. Hope you can live well with whatever decision you have. Hahahah you make it seem like you know something and then you say "hell, not even condoms are 100%" like they were the best method around when they're actually pretty much the worst around lol. Even when used perfectly, any hormonal method is better than condoms.
But the rest of your point is right, not even surgical vasectomy or tubal ligation are 100% effective.
That doesn't make it any less suspicious, the chance is extremely low.
To the OP, if you don't have doubts I guess it's fine. If it were me, I'd have doubts, so I'd go to the fertility specialist and get tested again, and at the same time clear up the possibility of another man. You can never know until you ask, it's certainly a logical and understandable doubt.
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On May 08 2012 02:30 ShoCkeyy wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 02:28 -Kaiser- wrote:On May 08 2012 02:21 Apom wrote: Something escapes me. You are not yet in a position to properly support and raise a child. You are both in your studies. You already had a "scare" in the (recent, I assume) past. And you kept having unprotected sex ? What were you thinking ? On May 08 2012 02:22 Silidons wrote:On May 08 2012 02:20 -Kaiser- wrote: What method of birth control were you using? seems like none On May 08 2012 02:23 bonifaceviii wrote: What everyone else said. 1 scare already and now a pregnancy? Sounds like your family planning has been shoddy at best. On May 08 2012 02:25 FreeZEternal wrote: OMG dude, get her on the pill or just use a damn condom. Pulling out is not birth control.... It's pretty repulsive that you all assume they were being irresponsible and not using any method of birth control. Accidents happen. Exactly, we were always safe about it. She's been on the pill well over 3 years, and I've been "sterile" since I was 13. Either my sperm turned into a super sperm for one night, or some form of entity beyond our reality put that baby there.
Ohhhhh boy. Well, I'm going to just go ahead and say that no, this is not a supernatural superbaby.
Humans are darn difficult to sterilize, and the likely fact is that your GF missed her pill one or two days without mentioning it and thinking it was ok (many younger women miss a pill here or there and think it's ok), or she took antibiotics. Many kinds of antibiotic render oral contraceptives ineffective.
This takes care of her side of things. The male side is a bit tougher. It's likely that you're only partially sterile, and just have so low a sperm count in ppm that it was regarded as negligible (but not non-existent), or perhaps she cheated. If you follow through with this child, I'd highly recommend a paternity test regardless of what she claims. People lie, even people in love.
Hopefully the case isn't that she cheated. It's entirely possible that she missed a pill, or didn't take it at the exact same time every day, and one of your few little guys got in there and knocked her up. Teenagers are amazingly fertile.
However, it is not very likely that some being beyond our universe impregnated your girlfriend.
That having been said, this isn't your only chance to have a kid. What makes a child yours is raising them, not donating your DNA. You can always adopt a child, and there are even better options if you have a brother or sister (I received chemotherapy and they went through them with me, since there's a chance of sterilization. Turns out I'm OK, but I went through a lot dealing with it for a while. PM me if you like!)
While I'm die-hard pro choice, I wouldn't recommend abortion in this situation. If it was that random "stars aligning" kind of thing, it might be cool to go through with the pregnancy (if you have a supportive family that would help care for the baby while you finish school).
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To the OP - can you explain what the first 'scare' was? That should clear a lot of stuff up.
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Well, aborting is kind of egohistic in this case IMHO. When you have sex you should make sure 100.01% you are protected of you don't want to have babies. Maybe let the pregnancy finish, and when your child will be born, let people who want to have children but can't have it. I know it's going to be a problem for a young student like you GF to bear a baby for 9 months, but IMHO it's kind of your fault, so at least don't kill the baby. I know it's going to be hard letting your son be adopted, and it's going to be hard also for your son, but IMHO it's better than killing him/her right now. Give him a chance.
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The real moral problem here is not abortion, but rather the fact that you would like your dog to be reincarnated as your son.
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On May 08 2012 05:50 IGotPlayguuu wrote: Well, aborting is kind of egohistic in this case IMHO. When you have sex you should make sure 100.01% you are protected of you don't want to have babies. Maybe let the pregnancy finish, and when your child will be born, let people who want to have children but can't have it. I know it's going to be a problem for a young student like you GF to bear a baby for 9 months, but IMHO it's kind of your fault, so at least don't kill the baby. I know it's going to be hard letting your son be adopted, and it's going to be hard also for your son, but IMHO it's better than killing him/her right now. Give him a chance.
Judging peoples decisions and telling them to bear a child for nine months is egotistical of you. It's none of your damn business what someone does with a fetus.
By the way, in my opinion, its selfish to bring an unwanted child into the world... and if you're worried about people not being able to have children but wanting some of their own, im sure theres plenty of children looking for great homes out there already...
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On May 08 2012 02:30 ShoCkeyy wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 02:28 -Kaiser- wrote:On May 08 2012 02:21 Apom wrote: Something escapes me. You are not yet in a position to properly support and raise a child. You are both in your studies. You already had a "scare" in the (recent, I assume) past. And you kept having unprotected sex ? What were you thinking ? On May 08 2012 02:22 Silidons wrote:On May 08 2012 02:20 -Kaiser- wrote: What method of birth control were you using? seems like none On May 08 2012 02:23 bonifaceviii wrote: What everyone else said. 1 scare already and now a pregnancy? Sounds like your family planning has been shoddy at best. On May 08 2012 02:25 FreeZEternal wrote: OMG dude, get her on the pill or just use a damn condom. Pulling out is not birth control.... It's pretty repulsive that you all assume they were being irresponsible and not using any method of birth control. Accidents happen. Exactly, we were always safe about it. She's been on the pill well over 3 years, and I've been "sterile" since I was 13. Either my sperm turned into a super sperm for one night, or some form of entity beyond our reality put that baby there. you can never trust doctors when it comes to that type of stuff. i've known guys who abused roids for years, doctors told them they'll never have kids, then one night their wife is pregnant.
but if she was 100% on the pill, then i don't know what to think. i've heard of stories of girls getting pregnant trying to get child support...happens every day, i know you're in love, but all those other men thought they were too.
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On May 08 2012 06:09 PanN wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 05:50 IGotPlayguuu wrote: Well, aborting is kind of egohistic in this case IMHO. When you have sex you should make sure 100.01% you are protected of you don't want to have babies. Maybe let the pregnancy finish, and when your child will be born, let people who want to have children but can't have it. I know it's going to be a problem for a young student like you GF to bear a baby for 9 months, but IMHO it's kind of your fault, so at least don't kill the baby. I know it's going to be hard letting your son be adopted, and it's going to be hard also for your son, but IMHO it's better than killing him/her right now. Give him a chance. Judging peoples decisions and telling them to bear a child for nine months is egotistical of you. It's none of your damn business what someone does with a fetus. By the way, in my opinion, its selfish to bring an unwanted child into the world... and if you're worried about people not being able to have children but wanting some of their own, im sure theres plenty of children looking for great homes out there already... Well, since he wrote a blog about it I gave my advice, there's really no need to attack other people opinion's this way
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On May 08 2012 05:50 IGotPlayguuu wrote: Well, aborting is kind of egohistic in this case IMHO. When you have sex you should make sure 100.01% you are protected of you don't want to have babies. Maybe let the pregnancy finish, and when your child will be born, let people who want to have children but can't have it. I know it's going to be a problem for a young student like you GF to bear a baby for 9 months, but IMHO it's kind of your fault, so at least don't kill the baby. I know it's going to be hard letting your son be adopted, and it's going to be hard also for your son, but IMHO it's better than killing him/her right now. Give him a chance. If the lady doesn't want the kid, she should abort it. There's nothing moral about dictating to a pregnant woman that she basically doesn't have a right to decide what happens to her own body.
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On May 08 2012 06:22 IGotPlayguuu wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 06:09 PanN wrote:On May 08 2012 05:50 IGotPlayguuu wrote: Well, aborting is kind of egohistic in this case IMHO. When you have sex you should make sure 100.01% you are protected of you don't want to have babies. Maybe let the pregnancy finish, and when your child will be born, let people who want to have children but can't have it. I know it's going to be a problem for a young student like you GF to bear a baby for 9 months, but IMHO it's kind of your fault, so at least don't kill the baby. I know it's going to be hard letting your son be adopted, and it's going to be hard also for your son, but IMHO it's better than killing him/her right now. Give him a chance. Judging peoples decisions and telling them to bear a child for nine months is egotistical of you. It's none of your damn business what someone does with a fetus. By the way, in my opinion, its selfish to bring an unwanted child into the world... and if you're worried about people not being able to have children but wanting some of their own, im sure theres plenty of children looking for great homes out there already... Well, since he wrote a blog about it I gave my advice, there's really no need to attack other people opinion's this way
That wasnt advice. You told him what he did wrong (as if he didnt know) and then proceeded to tell him what to do because its his "Fault".
Its basically a veiled choice vs life argument that really hasnt gotten anywhere and probably never will. That doesnt help him decide. It was however an opinion and is perfectly respectable. Just dont expect any mileage out of it because its not the first time someones had it.
As for the OP..
Good luck on whatever you decide. Sorry to hear about your problem. Im sure it will be for the best, all anyone can realistically offer is sympathy. Its something they you and your partner will eventually decide for yourselves.
See there we go now you did it. Choice vs Life..
On May 08 2012 06:31 Praetorial wrote: Why? You force the two of them into a moral obligation of parentage by talking about their son, and imply that aborting a fetus is murder/killing. That is simply not the case. These are two individuals whose personal and academic lives would be ruined by having a child, adoption or no.
Id suggest you nip this in the bud. This will not help anyone. I apologize if im being to forward.
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On May 08 2012 06:24 babylon wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 05:50 IGotPlayguuu wrote: Well, aborting is kind of egohistic in this case IMHO. When you have sex you should make sure 100.01% you are protected of you don't want to have babies. Maybe let the pregnancy finish, and when your child will be born, let people who want to have children but can't have it. I know it's going to be a problem for a young student like you GF to bear a baby for 9 months, but IMHO it's kind of your fault, so at least don't kill the baby. I know it's going to be hard letting your son be adopted, and it's going to be hard also for your son, but IMHO it's better than killing him/her right now. Give him a chance. If the lady doesn't want the kid, she should abort it. There's nothing moral about dictating to a pregnant woman that she basically doesn't have a right to decide what happens to her own body.
Exactly. Saying that it will "be hard for your son but IMHO better than killing him/her now" is just bad.
Why? You force the two of them into a moral obligation of parentage by talking about their son, and imply that aborting a fetus is murder/killing. That is simply not the case. These are two individuals whose personal and academic lives would be ruined by having a child, adoption or no.
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Don't turn this thread into a discussion about abortion please, there's plenty other threads for that
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Both are opinions... don't jump IGotPlayguuu for sharing what he thought in a blog. I'm sure OP can make of it what he wants.
Agreed with above who has an almost identical name. Let's support ShoCkeyy and not make it into that.
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On May 08 2012 05:59 DomiNater wrote: The real moral problem here is not abortion, but rather the fact that you would like your dog to be reincarnated as your son.
Why is that a moral problem? The baby's not going to come out barking. I'm sure Buddhists realize reincarnation doesn't work that way.
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On May 08 2012 07:05 matiK23 wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 05:59 DomiNater wrote: The real moral problem here is not abortion, but rather the fact that you would like your dog to be reincarnated as your son. Why is that a moral problem? The baby's not going to come out barking. I'm sure Buddhists realize reincarnation doesn't work that way.
Animal/Idol worship is one of the top 25 moral issues American's deal with on a daily basis. Trust me I google'd it... I can't be wrong now right?
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I'd imagine it's a difficult situation for you and your girlfriend (I was never in the same situation). Hope you two can make the right decision.
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Hi ShoCkeyy - in the interest of full disclosure, I should say right off the bat that I'm not for abortion. That being said, I want to encourage you that I think hardly any parent ever gets to that point where they feel "ready" for the challenge of raising a child, even the ones who plan for it. It must be scary being in your position or your gf's position; I can't imagine what'd it be like if I found out today that I have a child on the way and have less than a year to prepare for it.
But based on what you've already shared, I don't think it's going to be as simple as having an abortion and then moving on with your lives. This child has already made an impact on your gf, and you said yourself that the thought of having your "baby removed" is already causing you pain, so I want to warn you that no matter what you choose, it's not going to be easy and back to normal. I've heard many, many stories of how women never expected that having an abortion would affect them so much (due to feelings of loss, or possibly guilt, etc.) - but I can imagine the alternative (being responsible for another human being) is just as scary.
Long story short - maybe making a decision like this by yourselves in what sounds like less than 24 hours isn't necessary. Perhaps take some time to think about this and the long term implications either way. And you already sound like a fairly responsible adult with a job and who obviously cares about your gf - kids have been raised in WAY WORSE situations and beautiful stories can still emerge
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We just had a little girl. It's tough, but doable. Depends a lot on your situation.
GL either way.
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At the abortion clinic. I didn't want to go through with it, but my girlfriend does. I'm not going to stop her, she's the one that has to carry the child for 9months. Either way, I confronted her about cheating on me and she said she never did. So I decided to check myself up yesterday and guess what? I'm some what sterile now rather than full sterile as before. I have a very low sperm count and one of my buddies got through. It gives me hope for the future, but still pretty hurt about today. Let's see how things go from here. Thank you everyone for your reply. It means a great deal for me.
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I'll be thinking about you throughout the day.
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